“Bring Out Your Full Potential as a Woman in Ag” by Ann Finkner
Jessica Groskopf
Author
02/27/2018
Added
44
Plays
Description
Ann provides executive leadership for the Associations’ human resources, development and learning, facilities and administration, and community relations. She also is the Corporate Secretary for Farm Credit Services of America and Frontier Farm Credit. Ann serves on the Farm Credit Foundations’ Board of Directors and Plan Sponsor Committee, which provides benefits and payroll administration services for the Farm Credit System. he also serves on the boards of the Institute for Career Advancement Needs (ICAN) in Omaha, Nebraska and the NET Foundations in Lincoln, Nebraska as well as a trustee for the Lincoln Community Foundation.
Ann is a frequent speaker and facilitator on leadership and personal development and will focus on how to bring out your full potential as a woman in ag. She strongly believes women are a vital part of agriculture and rural America and encourages women to find their life purpose.
Ann began her Farm Credit career as a Loan Officer with the Federal Land Bank Association of Lincoln and has held various lending, administrative, accounting, and technology leadership positions. She is a member of the Society for Human Resources Management and Society for Corporate Governance. Ann resides in Lincoln, Nebraska and is active in her community and church, where she participates in the choir and Development Council. She grew up on the family farm near Rushmore, Minnesota and is a graduate of Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa.
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- [00:00:03.430]So it's an honor to be with you today
- [00:00:05.140]and have to spend the time with many of you
- [00:00:07.020]during this conference as we learn together.
- [00:00:10.360]You've had many opportunities during the conference
- [00:00:12.870]to learn about your operations in various aspects
- [00:00:16.310]that you can take home and inbed
- [00:00:19.010]within your operational farming or ranching.
- [00:00:22.890]The next few minutes, however, are about you.
- [00:00:25.980]We aren't gonna talk anything about agriculture per se,
- [00:00:30.160]but we're gonna talk about you,
- [00:00:32.160]and let this be time where you can just sit back and say,
- [00:00:35.840]I wanna learn more about who I am
- [00:00:38.200]and take that back to my operation as well.
- [00:00:41.630]So let's start with this.
- [00:00:48.150]How do you respond to this question?
- [00:00:51.610]I'm just a what?
- [00:00:54.070]Am I just a mom, am I just a farm wife?
- [00:00:57.710]Am I just a partner in our business?
- [00:01:01.780]What if you change that to this, I am a mom,
- [00:01:06.300]or I am a farm wife, or I am a partner in our business.
- [00:01:10.380]Taking out the word, the limiting word of just.
- [00:01:13.940]Or maybe some of you may feel like this.
- [00:01:17.624]You're suffering from the My Fair lady Paradox.
- [00:01:21.380]You're being asked to be someone you never intended to be.
- [00:01:26.000]Eliza Doolittle said this, I sold flowers,
- [00:01:30.560]and now you've made me a lady
- [00:01:32.090]and I don't know how to sell anymore.
- [00:01:34.520]I wish you'd left me where you found me.
- [00:01:37.370]And Henry Higgins in that same movie said,
- [00:01:40.730]why can't a woman be more like a man?
- [00:01:44.590]Well let me tell you a little bit about what I do
- [00:01:48.020]and my career journey.
- [00:01:51.000]It started out on our family farm in Southwest Minnesota,
- [00:01:55.450]and as I was growing up we had a menagerie of animals,
- [00:01:58.950]and so I spent much time on the farm taking care of animals,
- [00:02:03.130]and I always thought because of that
- [00:02:05.080]I would be a veterinarian.
- [00:02:07.370]However, there was a drawback.
- [00:02:09.710]I had to take a lot of science classes
- [00:02:11.370]and that was not gonna work for me.
- [00:02:13.860]So next thing, we were very active in our church,
- [00:02:17.630]so I thought well church ministry, that will be
- [00:02:20.040]my next calling since I don't have to do science.
- [00:02:25.010]Well I started exploring that further
- [00:02:28.400]and in the time when I was growing up
- [00:02:31.440]and in the denomination I grew up
- [00:02:34.064]being in church ministry was going
- [00:02:35.881]to be the church secretary and not
- [00:02:37.360]what I had intended it to be.
- [00:02:39.210]So what was next?
- [00:02:41.100]My next opportunity I thought, teaching,
- [00:02:43.930]I loved kids, we played school,
- [00:02:46.120]and guess who was the teacher?
- [00:02:48.070]And so why don't I make that a career?
- [00:02:50.710]And so I did, I got a business education degree,
- [00:02:53.070]a business economics degree, and I did my student teaching,
- [00:02:56.000]and after I completed my student teaching I realized,
- [00:02:59.960]I didn't think I could teach typing for 40 years.
- [00:03:03.690]So what was next?
- [00:03:05.070]I also remember had that business econ,
- [00:03:07.789]so I did an internship and found that working
- [00:03:10.470]in the business world is where I wanted to be,
- [00:03:12.920]even though knowing being a woman at that time in business
- [00:03:16.830]wasn't exactly going to be moving up the ladder quickly.
- [00:03:21.080]So I've had many opportunities that at farm credit
- [00:03:24.350]over the years.
- [00:03:25.620]I started out in lending, I've been in accounting,
- [00:03:28.400]I led technology for a while,
- [00:03:30.780]and now I'm dealing with all aspects
- [00:03:33.080]that are about our people, and I love every day of it.
- [00:03:36.840]But one of the most memorable times during that career
- [00:03:39.530]was in my earlier days, when I was a new loan officer
- [00:03:43.320]out working with one of our customers and doing an appraisal
- [00:03:47.120]and we had looked at the farm and were wrapping up
- [00:03:50.470]and all of a sudden he stopped the truck and said to me,
- [00:03:53.310]can I ask you a question?
- [00:03:55.860]And I said sure, thinking it's gonna be about the loan
- [00:03:59.370]we're working on or the farm or something like that.
- [00:04:02.850]And he looked at me and said, what's a girl like you
- [00:04:05.220]doing in a job like this?
- [00:04:08.410]Okay.
- [00:04:09.920]Where do you think my mind went?
- [00:04:11.460]About 50 different places.
- [00:04:14.840]And I thought I really am not prepared to answer that.
- [00:04:18.670]So I responded to him with why do you ask?
- [00:04:23.010]And it wasn't what I expected.
- [00:04:25.340]He said, my daughter is a senior in high school
- [00:04:28.360]and this would be a great job for her.
- [00:04:31.500]What I learned from that interaction was
- [00:04:34.630]never make assumptions just based upon
- [00:04:37.340]something you're asked or a statement someone makes
- [00:04:39.960]and use questions to help you probe more deeply,
- [00:04:43.330]to build relationships and to understand.
- [00:04:47.020]Well that's the story of my life and my career,
- [00:04:50.280]but like you there's so much more to each one of our lives
- [00:04:53.670]and we need to explore that more fully.
- [00:04:56.800]We have talked a lot about what we each do,
- [00:04:59.400]but what I wanna challenge you with this morning
- [00:05:01.650]or this afternoon is why do you exist?
- [00:05:05.410]If someone asked you why are you here
- [00:05:07.700]and what do you wanna accomplish on your days
- [00:05:09.960]on this earth, what would that be?
- [00:05:12.820]Many of you probably can say some of these statements
- [00:05:16.120]or questions.
- [00:05:17.080]I feel like something's missing in my life.
- [00:05:20.227]Sleep?
- [00:05:21.060]What is sleep?
- [00:05:23.110]I'm tired and I feel there's gotta be more to life.
- [00:05:25.810]I take care of everybody else, but me.
- [00:05:30.090]Life is busy and there's not enough time to get it all done.
- [00:05:33.680]If you ask any of those questions
- [00:05:36.150]this next few minutes is for you.
- [00:05:39.470]As we discover together the why of our lives,
- [00:05:43.030]the why in life is about identifying your life purpose,
- [00:05:46.450]what sets you on fire and brings you inner joy.
- [00:05:49.860]Mark Twain said this.
- [00:05:52.950]The most important day in your life is the day
- [00:05:56.790]that you are born and the day that you find out why.
- [00:06:02.170]Knowing the why of your life will help you in so many ways,
- [00:06:05.150]it'll be the rudder for your decisions
- [00:06:07.860]and the choices that you make,
- [00:06:09.590]it'll help your self-esteem, it'll help you
- [00:06:12.140]in your relationships because you're grounded,
- [00:06:15.060]and it'll contribute more greatly to your physical,
- [00:06:18.030]mental, and your spiritual wellbeing.
- [00:06:21.000]There are a number of ways that you can identify
- [00:06:23.080]your life purpose, but today we're gonna look
- [00:06:25.810]at a couple of different tools,
- [00:06:27.020]and on your tables is one worksheet for you
- [00:06:29.650]that you can take home and use this to explore more fully
- [00:06:34.010]who you are and why you exist.
- [00:06:36.590]There are 12 questions, and you'll look at those
- [00:06:39.410]12 questions, answer them very quickly,
- [00:06:41.940]what comes to mind first?
- [00:06:43.310]Spend no more than 60 seconds on each.
- [00:06:46.100]Think of the times when you're really in the flow of life,
- [00:06:49.120]when you're fully engaged and fully present
- [00:06:51.240]to answer those questions.
- [00:06:53.120]And then once you've answered them
- [00:06:55.630]then start highlighting words and phrases
- [00:06:58.030]that speak to you the most.
- [00:07:00.640]What are important things in your life?
- [00:07:03.090]After you've highlighted those words and phrases
- [00:07:05.340]then group them together and write them
- [00:07:07.540]on the back page in the top section.
- [00:07:10.733]I think patterns will start to appear.
- [00:07:13.020]As those patterns appear and you have your grouped words
- [00:07:15.860]and phrases then in the bottom part prioritize them.
- [00:07:19.330]What are the most important?
- [00:07:21.570]What are the least important?
- [00:07:23.610]And from that you'll start to get a better feel
- [00:07:26.050]of who you are and why you exist.
- [00:07:29.330]Clare Boothe Luce was one of the first women
- [00:07:31.970]to serve in the US Congress and she was meeting
- [00:07:34.780]with John F. Kennedy and she said,
- [00:07:37.440]all great men and women can be defined by one sentence.
- [00:07:42.760]Abraham Lincoln was defined by he preserved The Union
- [00:07:47.040]and he freed the slaves.
- [00:07:48.990]Franklin Roosevelt was defined by the sentence,
- [00:07:51.950]he lifted us out of a Great Depression
- [00:07:54.780]and helped us win a World War.
- [00:07:58.650]Adam Leipzig was an executive with Disney
- [00:08:01.970]and he went to his 25th class reunion,
- [00:08:04.910]and as he was interacting with his classmates
- [00:08:08.450]from 25 years earlier he found that about 80% of them
- [00:08:12.960]were not happy, they hadn't found their purpose in life.
- [00:08:17.260]They had everything from all indications,
- [00:08:20.040]they had money, they had status,
- [00:08:22.230]but they just weren't happy.
- [00:08:24.000]That other 25% he figured out had found their passion
- [00:08:28.720]and had found out why they exist,
- [00:08:31.940]and through the conversations he identified five things
- [00:08:35.890]that helped them know why they existed.
- [00:08:38.270]And he turned those five things into five questions
- [00:08:42.800]which he used as part of a TED talk
- [00:08:45.470]that has been viewed over 10 million times on the internet.
- [00:08:49.950]Those five questions are this.
- [00:08:53.010]Who are you?
- [00:08:55.130]What do you love to do?
- [00:08:58.740]What do you do it for and who do you serve?
- [00:09:01.960]What do those people need or want from you?
- [00:09:06.910]And lastly, how do they change or are they transformed
- [00:09:09.990]because of the results and what you give to them?
- [00:09:13.570]Those five questions he said could help someone
- [00:09:16.420]really hone in on what their purpose is.
- [00:09:19.540]So I wanna give you an example of how we might
- [00:09:21.660]respond to those and I'll use my own responses.
- [00:09:25.780]So the first one, who are you?
- [00:09:27.060]That's the very easiest.
- [00:09:28.970]I am Ann.
- [00:09:30.710]You are Sally, you are Jane, whatever the answer is,
- [00:09:33.580]that's the easy one.
- [00:09:35.330]I love to, I love to engage with people
- [00:09:39.550]and encourage their self-discovery.
- [00:09:42.940]The third one, who do you do it for or who do you serve?
- [00:09:46.740]I do this for family, friends, coworkers,
- [00:09:49.270]but I particularly like to have
- [00:09:51.470]this conversation with women.
- [00:09:54.100]What do those people want or need
- [00:09:56.210]that you are providing to them?
- [00:09:58.870]These people want or need a listening ear
- [00:10:02.010]and more clarity about their life journey
- [00:10:04.440]that aligns with their interests, beliefs,
- [00:10:07.470]passions, and talents.
- [00:10:10.180]And how do they change or are they transformed
- [00:10:12.470]as a result of what I do for them?
- [00:10:15.250]They find their greater life direction and purpose.
- [00:10:19.050]So if I put that all together
- [00:10:21.320]basically the answer to the second question
- [00:10:23.760]and the fifth question, my life purpose
- [00:10:26.270]is encouraging others in their self-discovery
- [00:10:29.800]and to find greater life direction and purpose.
- [00:10:32.920]I've narrowed that down to one phrase.
- [00:10:35.630]My life mission and the reason I exist is to nurture purpose
- [00:10:40.410]and when I think about that I get to do that every day.
- [00:10:43.530]Any interaction I have where I can help someone else
- [00:10:47.030]discover why they exist is a reason I feel
- [00:10:51.010]I've been put on this earth, and today
- [00:10:53.670]is just another example of getting to interact
- [00:10:56.030]with each of you.
- [00:10:58.180]Mr. Leipzig also said the most successful people
- [00:11:01.610]always focus most on others before they focus on themselves.
- [00:11:06.600]And happier people make it a point to do things
- [00:11:10.140]that make other people happy.
- [00:11:12.470]So as you think about your life purpose
- [00:11:15.060]think outside yourself, focus on others,
- [00:11:19.070]and know your actions count.
- [00:11:21.510]Pablo Picasso said this.
- [00:11:24.690]The meaning of life is to find your gift.
- [00:11:28.380]The purpose of life is to give it away.
- [00:11:32.560]Be a giver.
- [00:11:34.440]So back to our original question, so what do you do?
- [00:11:38.340]Focus not just on what your work is,
- [00:11:41.900]focus on the impact that you have
- [00:11:43.940]and the one sentence that you can create
- [00:11:47.200]from the words that you had prioritized in the activity.
- [00:11:51.260]When asked your one sentence may be,
- [00:11:54.490]I'm a woman in Ag who is part of feeding the world.
- [00:11:59.550]Well once you've decided that you know
- [00:12:01.570]what your life purpose is what are some things
- [00:12:03.560]that you can do to more fully live into it?
- [00:12:06.630]We're gonna explore together a process called EMPOWERS.
- [00:12:10.430]It starts with empowerment and giving yourself
- [00:12:13.330]the authority and power to really be the full
- [00:12:16.510]and fulfilled life you want to have.
- [00:12:19.970]It starts with the letter E, Enhancing your energy.
- [00:12:24.540]And for each one of these I'm gonna give you
- [00:12:26.350]a few tips and techniques that you can use
- [00:12:29.010]to empower yourself and give yourself more authority
- [00:12:31.540]over your life.
- [00:12:33.920]For this one there may be days when you just feel
- [00:12:36.380]you're exhausted, you're tired,
- [00:12:37.970]you're that hamster on a wheel that just keeps going
- [00:12:40.740]and going and going nowhere.
- [00:12:43.060]Or you're taking one step forward and three steps back.
- [00:12:48.090]This one starts with knowing your boundaries
- [00:12:50.130]and your limits.
- [00:12:52.150]What are those boundaries and limits in your life
- [00:12:54.450]that you have set?
- [00:12:55.790]In your life you've probably got nonnegotiable things
- [00:12:58.240]that only you can do, but there is probably many things
- [00:13:01.930]that are negotiable and that others could also do.
- [00:13:06.060]How do you deal with those?
- [00:13:07.320]The first thing with dealing with boundaries
- [00:13:09.230]is learning to say one small word, no.
- [00:13:13.470]That's one of the hardest things for us to do
- [00:13:15.870]because we want to make sure we're taking care of everyone
- [00:13:19.140]and everybody and saying no could be very difficult.
- [00:13:23.940]If need be use no to help you set the boundaries
- [00:13:27.290]and limits in your life.
- [00:13:29.360]Say not to perfection, one of the things
- [00:13:32.250]that can take a lot of time and a lot of energy.
- [00:13:35.310]Chances are you're your own worst critic
- [00:13:37.390]and maybe no one else would even know
- [00:13:39.860]that it's not as good as you thought it could be.
- [00:13:43.560]Once you've started to say no to things
- [00:13:45.810]you can start to saying things that really matter
- [00:13:48.460]in your life, you can say yes to turning off the television,
- [00:13:52.670]maybe disconnecting from social media,
- [00:13:55.640]and having just a few quiet moments for yourself.
- [00:13:59.490]Once you learn to say yes you can start to experience
- [00:14:02.360]greater gratitude in your life.
- [00:14:05.620]Say yes to involving your kids or your grandkids.
- [00:14:09.860]How many of you are willing to ask for help
- [00:14:12.030]and say yes to asking for help?
- [00:14:14.380]Many times we say no, I've got that, I can handle that.
- [00:14:17.960]But involving others is one way of saying no
- [00:14:21.460]to being overworked and yes to others.
- [00:14:24.640]Involve your kids in making meals, doing the chores,
- [00:14:27.730]whatever it might be.
- [00:14:29.430]Not only are you giving them an opportunity to help you,
- [00:14:33.350]you're also teaching them and building,
- [00:14:35.940]you're telling them you trust them, you're empowering them,
- [00:14:39.080]you're educating them in so many ways.
- [00:14:42.670]And it's okay if they fail, failure is a learning moment,
- [00:14:46.410]so help them to understand that failure is not a negative,
- [00:14:50.620]but use it as a positive in their life.
- [00:14:53.290]Dr. David Cole is a Professor at Virginia Tech,
- [00:14:57.000]he taught Ag and he's been a frequent Economics,
- [00:15:00.490]Ag Economics speaker, and one of the things he suggests
- [00:15:03.790]that if you give your children responsibility
- [00:15:07.030]reward them financially and teach them
- [00:15:09.160]financial responsibility.
- [00:15:11.260]The rule he uses is the 50/25/25 rule.
- [00:15:15.840]50% of whatever they earn they can spend
- [00:15:18.640]on whatever they want, but 25% has to go into investment
- [00:15:23.160]or savings, the other 25% needs to go
- [00:15:27.170]into some kind of educational activity,
- [00:15:29.950]4-H, FFA, a camp, a program of some sort.
- [00:15:34.680]So allow your children to be part of saying no,
- [00:15:38.010]but yes to them.
- [00:15:40.440]Experiences a child has between the ages of 14 and 15
- [00:15:44.610]influence the life skills that they will develop
- [00:15:47.590]and plays a big role in developing who they are
- [00:15:50.810]so allow them to be a part not only of helping you,
- [00:15:54.800]but giving them those experiences in agriculture
- [00:15:57.160]that they will take with them the rest of their lives.
- [00:16:00.130]So saying yes to doing more of the things that you love
- [00:16:03.880]because you've said no to other obligations.
- [00:16:08.280]Another way to boost your energy is the choices
- [00:16:11.540]that you make and to take guilt free breaks.
- [00:16:15.280]That can be hard because we're so busy all the time.
- [00:16:19.110]When you start to take breaks it'll help you
- [00:16:22.690]avoid being fatigued. It'll help you be more productive,
- [00:16:26.680]and it's okay to give yourself permission to just stop.
- [00:16:31.410]Plan for stopping points and fully engage in those breaks.
- [00:16:35.330]You'll have a better feeling, you'll concentrate more,
- [00:16:38.970]and you'll start when you start again
- [00:16:41.000]you'll be more energized.
- [00:16:43.610]That break may be a 10 minute walk,
- [00:16:46.330]it may be a short trip around the farm,
- [00:16:51.060]it may be just a cup of coffee,
- [00:16:52.640]and in some cases it may be just time you can take
- [00:16:55.850]to go to the bathroom.
- [00:16:59.000]So the next one we have is M, Make extra time.
- [00:17:03.960]I know, you're all rolling your eyes already,
- [00:17:06.730]that just isn't possible.
- [00:17:09.490]Well in today's world sometimes we have to find
- [00:17:13.210]the ability to make extra time.
- [00:17:16.470]Making extra time means you look at the differences
- [00:17:19.580]between obligations and choices.
- [00:17:22.120]Now we talked about saying no, that's also a way
- [00:17:24.540]you can start making extra time for other things,
- [00:17:27.570]but one of the other things you can do
- [00:17:29.230]is to stop multitasking.
- [00:17:31.860]As women we are renown for multitasking, we can do it all.
- [00:17:36.400]However, when we multitask we frequently will take
- [00:17:39.990]a project and we'll go back and forth,
- [00:17:41.800]and your brain needs to reengage,
- [00:17:44.120]so you might be doing that task slower than what you think
- [00:17:47.430]and you might be making more mistakes which cause rework.
- [00:17:50.840]So by saying no to multitasking
- [00:17:53.870]don't let that madwoman in you take over
- [00:17:56.210]when you think you have to do it all.
- [00:17:59.000]Repeat a phrase to yourself, haste makes waste,
- [00:18:02.210]where whatever means something to you
- [00:18:03.950]to help you slow down and focus on one thing at a time.
- [00:18:08.990]Another way to make extra time is to create a list
- [00:18:11.620]of priorities, how many of you are list makers?
- [00:18:14.989]A few of 'em, great, this one's just for you.
- [00:18:17.870]So look at what you have to get done.
- [00:18:21.030]Make a list and then look at each item.
- [00:18:24.660]Which ones need to be done immediately?
- [00:18:26.740]Which are gonna take more time?
- [00:18:28.290]And which can be done quickly?
- [00:18:30.260]Mix them all together and then put those easy tasks
- [00:18:34.800]in between those that must be done immediately
- [00:18:38.070]and those that need to take more time.
- [00:18:41.490]Because by putting those easy tasks in there
- [00:18:44.280]you're rewarding yourself as you go along
- [00:18:45.630]and that can be motivational in itself
- [00:18:47.670]to help you keep moving forward.
- [00:18:49.660]I can tell you the weekend I make my list
- [00:18:51.800]of what I have to get done is the weekend
- [00:18:53.770]I am most productive and the same things holds true at work,
- [00:18:57.250]it keeps me focused, and that keeps me from expending time
- [00:19:01.090]on things that are more a choice or an obligation
- [00:19:04.890]of what I don't need to have in my life.
- [00:19:08.010]Prioritizing provides you and overview
- [00:19:10.787]and by doing that list you might find
- [00:19:12.060]there's some things you wanna start crossing off the list
- [00:19:14.410]because you can say no to them.
- [00:19:17.220]Make decisions between obligations and choices
- [00:19:20.000]and manage those obligations, sandwich between the things
- [00:19:23.860]that are most rewarding to you.
- [00:19:26.450]Allow yourself to rest, relax, and recharge
- [00:19:29.830]because your body and your mind both need fuel
- [00:19:33.490]to move forward in life.
- [00:19:36.500]If you've ever been on an airplane the flight attendant says
- [00:19:39.670]as part of the opening comments,
- [00:19:42.530]please make sure you put your own oxygen mask on first,
- [00:19:46.310]that's a really good reminder to each one of us
- [00:19:49.620]because we can't take care of others
- [00:19:51.730]unless we take care of ourselves first.
- [00:19:55.200]Let's practice some perspective.
- [00:19:58.320]Practicing perspective is on the fast track to happiness.
- [00:20:02.240]Stress is one of the biggest things
- [00:20:04.500]that can get in the way of your happiness.
- [00:20:06.700]Eckhart Tolle said, stress is caused by being here
- [00:20:11.260]when you really want to be there.
- [00:20:14.000]When stress plays a bigger role in your life
- [00:20:16.200]than happiness it's time to reassess
- [00:20:18.350]what's causing that stress.
- [00:20:20.510]There are many early warning signs
- [00:20:22.360]and just listen to your body for those warning signs.
- [00:20:26.290]Are you tensing up?
- [00:20:27.690]Are the muscles in your back seeming to hurt more?
- [00:20:32.400]Are your shoulders starting to take residence in your ears?
- [00:20:37.030]Is your stomach turning?
- [00:20:39.277]Is your head pounding?
- [00:20:40.930]Or even you might be nauseous.
- [00:20:43.000]Those are all signs that there's some stress in your body
- [00:20:46.710]and some ways to eliminate that stress
- [00:20:49.050]is starting with your shoulders.
- [00:20:51.230]If you just drop your shoulders and relax
- [00:20:54.250]and then bring them up as high as you can
- [00:20:56.690]and hold it for four seconds, and relax again.
- [00:21:01.260]And repeat that process, it takes the whole core
- [00:21:04.870]of your body and changes how you feel.
- [00:21:08.470]Another exercise is breathing.
- [00:21:11.100]I'm a singer, and before we even sing the first note
- [00:21:15.150]we're doing exercises, physical exercises
- [00:21:18.060]to fully engage our bodies, and a lot of those
- [00:21:20.740]involve breathing and breathing is something you can do
- [00:21:24.060]every day whenever stress starts to take over.
- [00:21:27.090]Breathe in through your mouth for four seconds, hold it,
- [00:21:32.320]send out that breath in four seconds,
- [00:21:35.240]pause for four seconds and repeat that three or four times.
- [00:21:39.320]Shoulders and breathing can change your whole complexion
- [00:21:43.030]of how you feel and how the stress may
- [00:21:45.650]or may not take over in your life.
- [00:21:48.920]By breathing you're sending new oxygen to your brain
- [00:21:52.010]and that will also help with your stress.
- [00:21:55.190]Another secret as far as perspective is gratitude.
- [00:21:59.650]Experience gratitude every day.
- [00:22:02.420]Start a gratitude journal.
- [00:22:04.370]Put something in there whenever your heart speaks to you
- [00:22:07.300]with a sense of what I'm grateful for.
- [00:22:09.500]You'll be surprised how much gratitude you'll find
- [00:22:11.870]in your life.
- [00:22:13.150]Or use Post-it notes.
- [00:22:15.150]Put a piece, something you're grateful for on the mirror,
- [00:22:18.350]on the refrigerator, encourage your family members
- [00:22:20.650]to do the same.
- [00:22:22.030]Or create a gratitude jar, decorate it with your kids,
- [00:22:25.360]and if somebody is grateful for something
- [00:22:27.430]have them write it on a piece of paper,
- [00:22:29.360]put it in the gratitude jar and then at a meal together
- [00:22:32.600]go through what they've all said they're grateful for.
- [00:22:35.490]We don't have to wait for Thanksgiving to be grateful.
- [00:22:39.900]So even in the most difficult of circumstances
- [00:22:42.910]find the good and be grateful.
- [00:22:46.380]The next one is O, Own your own best self.
- [00:22:50.440]Value yourself and your connections,
- [00:22:52.560]nurture your relationships, share a hug, share a smile,
- [00:22:56.650]share a laugh, knowing that a burden shared
- [00:22:59.630]is a burdened halved.
- [00:23:01.420]Avoid negative and toxic people.
- [00:23:03.490]Surround yourself with people who are positive
- [00:23:07.270]and will uplift you and are there for the best in you.
- [00:23:10.810]I know, some of you are saying but what do I do
- [00:23:13.380]with that toxic family member that I have?
- [00:23:16.150]We all probably have one, but don't get sucked in
- [00:23:20.660]to their negativity.
- [00:23:22.700]Find the positive approach.
- [00:23:26.030]Talk about positive things instead of getting sucked in
- [00:23:29.160]to the negative conversation.
- [00:23:32.740]You have your best self, the trouble is sometimes
- [00:23:35.410]we don't hang out with our own best self.
- [00:23:38.460]Be your own best friend.
- [00:23:40.620]Many times you're a great friend to others,
- [00:23:43.130]how great a friend are you to you?
- [00:23:46.390]The only way to have the life you really want to live
- [00:23:49.150]is to be the person you really are and to love her fully.
- [00:23:53.750]Accept compliments from others because they're gifts
- [00:23:57.200]and allow them to resonate within yourself
- [00:24:00.000]and then give compliments back as well.
- [00:24:03.030]Treat yourself and value yourself for everything you are
- [00:24:06.940]and everything you bring.
- [00:24:08.620]Never devalue who you are.
- [00:24:12.050]And wake up your inner voice.
- [00:24:15.360]Do you ever think that I'm not good enough,
- [00:24:17.780]somebody else is better.
- [00:24:19.720]That's just the inner critic in you
- [00:24:21.910]allowing to take over your positivity
- [00:24:25.410]and the best person you can be.
- [00:24:27.890]Knowing who you are and allowing your positiveness
- [00:24:30.780]to guide is very important and that starts
- [00:24:32.980]with knowing your strengths and your roles in life.
- [00:24:36.470]What are your strengths?
- [00:24:38.970]If you focus on your strengths and leverage them
- [00:24:41.310]and not allow what you think are your weaknesses
- [00:24:44.260]to control you you will feel more fulfilled.
- [00:24:47.640]There are many online assessments that you can take
- [00:24:50.290]to find out what your strengths are.
- [00:24:52.210]Live into those strengths, but also know the roles
- [00:24:54.810]that you play in life.
- [00:24:56.210]We talked about what you do, well there's a lot more,
- [00:24:58.290]you're a spouse, you're a partner,
- [00:25:00.760]you're a parent, you're a child.
- [00:25:01.593]You're probably in some of your families
- [00:25:03.530]you're a caretaker as well as a peacemaker.
- [00:25:07.520]You might be a friend or a fixer.
- [00:25:10.780]Whatever it is we all have roles that we play
- [00:25:14.712]throughout our life and those roles will change
- [00:25:15.810]throughout our life, but are all those roles
- [00:25:18.580]roles that are important to you
- [00:25:20.710]and roles you wanna keep fulfilling?
- [00:25:22.120]Just be aware of what roles you play
- [00:25:25.170]and what roles are bringing you joy and happiness.
- [00:25:28.960]And be conscious of your verbal and nonverbal words.
- [00:25:34.070]Each of us has sabotaging voices that will creep
- [00:25:36.850]into our lives and tell us something
- [00:25:39.740]that we don't wanna hear.
- [00:25:41.784]Whenever that sabotaging voice comes along
- [00:25:44.050]put a hairband or a rubber band around your wrist
- [00:25:47.181]and snap it to remind yourself my sabotaging voice
- [00:25:50.250]will not take over my brain or my life.
- [00:25:53.820]And fill your thoughts again with positive things
- [00:25:57.250]that make you happy.
- [00:25:59.704]And be aware of the powerful words that you use,
- [00:26:01.890]positive words that you use,
- [00:26:03.940]and avoid what I'm gonna call wimpy words.
- [00:26:07.110]Wimpy words like when we started, the word just,
- [00:26:09.850]just is a word that comes in so frequently
- [00:26:12.990]in our conversations, and what it does, it limits us,
- [00:26:16.200]it's an automatic verbal limited in our conversations.
- [00:26:20.220]Avoid the phrase I think.
- [00:26:23.090]You know.
- [00:26:24.580]So instead change that to I know.
- [00:26:27.480]Be positive about a strong statement.
- [00:26:31.000]Avoid the words whatever, maybe.
- [00:26:35.530]Be decisive, take control of your own life
- [00:26:38.840]and those conversations and situations
- [00:26:40.750]when they present themselves, because if you don't
- [00:26:43.210]somebody else will.
- [00:26:45.980]Think about all those filler words that you hear today.
- [00:26:49.540]Like, um, take filler words out of your life.
- [00:26:56.610]Listen to other people and how many times
- [00:26:59.470]filler words come into play.
- [00:27:01.800]You'll be surprised how many times we use them.
- [00:27:05.480]So be an example not only to yourself,
- [00:27:07.530]but also to your children because there's plenty
- [00:27:10.240]of filler words in today's language.
- [00:27:12.750]And lastly I would encourage you to think about
- [00:27:15.700]using the word right as a question.
- [00:27:20.320]Life is good, right?
- [00:27:22.860]Everything's going well on the farm, right?
- [00:27:25.620]What you're doing is asking for confirmation,
- [00:27:28.330]you aren't sure, and it's not adding anything
- [00:27:31.700]to your conversation with whoever you're speaking.
- [00:27:34.550]So be aware of those words that you just automatically
- [00:27:37.680]roll off your tongue, but get in the way of being
- [00:27:40.800]a confident person.
- [00:27:43.330]So find your voice, your deep down
- [00:27:45.800]true and empowered voice, and let it live
- [00:27:47.950]and control your life.
- [00:27:49.960]We've talked about this before, envisioning your purpose.
- [00:27:53.810]This is an also one, think about what your purpose is
- [00:27:56.930]and live into it all the time, what brings you joy
- [00:28:00.030]and gives you feeling of love is what you should focus on.
- [00:28:03.220]Does it bring you a smile?
- [00:28:06.270]If it doesn't think about how it is contributing
- [00:28:08.820]or not contributing to your life.
- [00:28:11.170]Living your purpose spreads benefits to others.
- [00:28:14.630]As you share your purpose in life with others
- [00:28:17.730]they are able to share with the people
- [00:28:19.540]they come in contact with and on and on.
- [00:28:22.320]Your impact will be broader than just the one person
- [00:28:25.580]you interact with.
- [00:28:27.540]And release the blocks and go for it.
- [00:28:31.290]How many times have you said oh it's not gonna work,
- [00:28:33.880]can't do that, I'm too tired, I don't know how
- [00:28:37.300]it's ever gonna be possible.
- [00:28:39.640]The primary cause of not embracing possibilities
- [00:28:43.310]and moving forward is fear.
- [00:28:46.590]Excuses are false faces of fear
- [00:28:49.400]and that's what all of those first sentences were.
- [00:28:52.500]Fear has a hidden place in each one of us
- [00:28:55.150]and we have to treat it like a wood pile
- [00:28:57.390]and remove it one piece of wood at a time from our lives.
- [00:29:01.310]Change can invoke fear.
- [00:29:03.510]The fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of loss,
- [00:29:07.570]the fear of rejection, the fear of criticism,
- [00:29:09.550]the fear of the unknown.
- [00:29:11.860]Most of us resist change when deep down we want to change,
- [00:29:16.040]but we just let that inner voice get the best of us
- [00:29:19.800]and challenge us and cause us to fear.
- [00:29:22.820]So I want you to try a quick exercise with me.
- [00:29:25.840]Cross your arms, just get real comfortable,
- [00:29:29.170]cross those arms.
- [00:29:31.250]All right, I want you to do the opposite way.
- [00:29:35.900]Yeah, a little tricky, wasn't it?
- [00:29:38.497](audience laughing)
- [00:29:43.350]Uh-huh.
- [00:29:46.210]Just like crossing your arms was tricky, it was a change,
- [00:29:53.150]and sometimes we have to think about it.
- [00:29:55.890]How many of you had a um, how do I do this?
- [00:29:59.327](audience laughing)
- [00:30:00.660]And others of you it just automatically happened.
- [00:30:04.320]So think about how change is tricky in our lives,
- [00:30:08.440]yet once we think about it we can move forward
- [00:30:11.620]and move with it.
- [00:30:13.716]The keys to dealing with fear in your life
- [00:30:17.260]is to recognize and accept it, identify how you're going
- [00:30:22.370]to address the underlying cause,
- [00:30:24.540]and then move forward with the plan.
- [00:30:26.810]Fear should not take over your life.
- [00:30:30.190]Find out how you can conquer it and move forward.
- [00:30:33.830]One technique you can use are what if statements.
- [00:30:36.530]Instead of thinking why not, think of what if?
- [00:30:40.870]What if I did change?
- [00:30:42.320]What if I could be this?
- [00:30:44.290]Moving forward with the possibilities in life.
- [00:30:47.450]Envision those possibilities and don't let fear
- [00:30:50.560]hold you back.
- [00:30:52.540]And lastly, shine your light brightly.
- [00:30:56.930]Roy Bennett said to shine your brightest light
- [00:31:00.150]is to be who you truly are.
- [00:31:02.500]How bright is your light currently shining?
- [00:31:06.610]Make commit, one of the ways to do this
- [00:31:08.970]is to make commitments to yourself
- [00:31:10.630]and live into those commitments.
- [00:31:12.290]As we talked about these EMPOWERS steps
- [00:31:14.710]which steps do you need to focus on?
- [00:31:17.130]Make a commitment to deal with it,
- [00:31:18.960]and you might have to find an accountability buddy
- [00:31:21.600]to hold you to it, maybe a couple of you
- [00:31:24.070]wanna work on it together.
- [00:31:26.250]And reinforce those commitments every day,
- [00:31:28.510]be grateful, breathe, take a break,
- [00:31:32.650]ask yourself what can I learn from each situation in life?
- [00:31:37.740]Identify the story that you're telling about your life,
- [00:31:41.110]not only to yourself, but to others,
- [00:31:43.770]and make sure it's the story you wanna live.
- [00:31:47.770]Find ways to shine your light, to live your purpose,
- [00:31:50.780]and as you do you'll be like passing the candlelight
- [00:31:53.780]at a service or vigil, it starts with one person
- [00:31:57.996]and as that light is shared the darkness disappears.
- [00:32:01.450]Each person's light reflects on the other
- [00:32:04.170]and so can you in whatever you do.
- [00:32:07.890]To truly live a life of purpose
- [00:32:10.350]welcome the full experience of life,
- [00:32:13.140]welcome fear and conquer it, as well as all the joy
- [00:32:17.390]and excitement it can bring you.
- [00:32:19.410]So focus on these EMPOWERS steps, live into them,
- [00:32:24.920]it's a way to remove the barriers that you have
- [00:32:27.550]in your life and to live a full fledged life.
- [00:32:31.090]But as you move forward take one step at a time,
- [00:32:33.630]remember, no multitasking, and focus on NOW,
- [00:32:38.010]which stands for No Opportunity Wasted.
- [00:32:42.470]And I wanna share one other thing with you,
- [00:32:44.400]be a lifelong learner.
- [00:32:46.150]You came to this conference to learn,
- [00:32:48.400]continue to find other opportunities
- [00:32:50.800]for you to learn and grow, it might be reading,
- [00:32:53.850]for some of you maybe you don't feel you have time,
- [00:32:55.850]then listen, listen to books, listen to podcasts,
- [00:32:59.300]attend different events, get involved in organizations,
- [00:33:03.430]take a class, come back to this conference next year,
- [00:33:07.270]find online resources like University Publications
- [00:33:10.690]or TED Talks, but never stop learning,
- [00:33:13.900]the world is moving too fast, don't be left behind.
- [00:33:17.830]So in closing I hope you will take some time
- [00:33:20.820]to identify why you're here, age does not matter.
- [00:33:25.400]We each have a purpose as long as we're living
- [00:33:27.850]and breathing and interacting with others.
- [00:33:30.730]Identify your life purpose and then bring your purpose
- [00:33:33.870]to life, make time for yourself
- [00:33:35.930]and the things that you love to do.
- [00:33:38.030]No car runs without gas, no bank account
- [00:33:41.530]can have a withdraw if it's empty,
- [00:33:43.780]so recognize you are responsible for your life
- [00:33:46.980]and understand that you are your own change agent
- [00:33:50.120]for your life.
- [00:33:51.610]Stress and fear are part of your life,
- [00:33:53.220]but find your own best friend and be your own best friend
- [00:33:56.380]in whatever you do each day.
- [00:33:59.600]So as Henry Ford said, whether you think you can
- [00:34:05.060]or you can't, you're right.
- [00:34:08.130]Instead I change and challenge you to know you can
- [00:34:12.170]and challenge you to bring out your full potential
- [00:34:15.720]as a woman in Ag and live a full purpose
- [00:34:18.490]in supporting that.
- [00:34:20.050]Thank you for being part of this conference
- [00:34:22.260]and for everything that each one of you do
- [00:34:24.170]in your operations, you make a difference,
- [00:34:26.560]and you make a difference for agriculture.
- [00:34:29.942](audience applauding)
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