FailSafe_Stepping in

FailSafe Author

01/03/2018 Added

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Stepping in

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[00:00:01.712]Welcome to failsafe, Stepping In.
[00:00:05.381]By now you've probably heard about something
[00:00:07.398]called Bystander Intervention on your campus.
[00:00:10.360]Well, that's when someone watching something bad happen
[00:00:13.101]to somebody else steps in.
[00:00:15.161]They might step in to help the other person avoid harm,
[00:00:17.763]like pulling someone off the street
[00:00:19.653]so they don't get hit by a car,
[00:00:21.261]or they might get help for someone
[00:00:22.672]who can't call to get help for themselves.
[00:00:25.484]Say you're at the mall, and you see a guy who's texting,
[00:00:28.299]not watching where he's going, and he's about to walk
[00:00:30.499]right into a water fountain.
[00:00:32.478]Now you could say, "Hey buddy!
[00:00:33.739]"Watch out for the water fountain."
[00:00:35.478]You might even try and grab him before he steps in.
[00:00:38.448]Because nothing good's gonna come
[00:00:40.150]from him falling into that fountain for him or for you,
[00:00:43.278]even though it's kinda funny.
[00:00:45.467]Now, the guy who's texting has a lot of choices
[00:00:47.878]about how he can react to your stepping in.
[00:00:50.950]He might be totally grateful,
[00:00:52.457]and he might say something like, "Hey, thanks man,"
[00:00:54.688]and then go on his way.
[00:00:56.069]Well that feels pretty good, but he might get ticked
[00:00:59.128]that someone he doesn't know is telling him what to do.
[00:01:01.939]He might say, "Mind your own business,
[00:01:04.099]"you no good lousy (beep)."
[00:01:05.840]Or he might say, "Stop judging me you (beep)."
[00:01:09.437]Or he might even say, "Yeah, you're one to talk,
[00:01:12.099]"I saw you walk right into a wall when you were texting
[00:01:14.528]"the other day, so (beep) off you no good, lousy,
[00:01:18.328]know-it-all, stinkin' (repeated beeping)."
[00:01:23.882]That doesn't feel so good.
[00:01:26.420]But even though he might not have liked
[00:01:27.928]your butting into his personal business,
[00:01:29.807]it meant that he didn't walk into the fountain.
[00:01:32.640]Yeah, you're welcome.
[00:01:34.950]Now, let's say, that the guy totally ignored your warning
[00:01:38.230]and even pushed you away when you tried to stop him,
[00:01:40.687]and, big surprise, he falls right into the fountain.
[00:01:44.097]Hey, it happens sometimes.
[00:01:46.001]Now you have a lot of choices.
[00:01:48.361]You can laugh at the guy, maybe even take his picture,
[00:01:50.780]and say, "Man, I cannot wait to post this."
[00:01:53.681]Or you can just keep on walking
[00:01:55.281]like the whole thing never happened.
[00:01:56.985]Or you can say, "Hey dude, I tried to warn you,"
[00:01:59.999]while you're helping him out of the fountain.
[00:02:02.100]But that doesn't feel so good either,
[00:02:03.940]because now you're both wet, and the whole thing took
[00:02:06.471]a whole lot more time than you had in the first place.
[00:02:09.881]Well by now you've figured out
[00:02:11.087]that we're not talking about some random guy in the mall.
[00:02:13.727]We're talking about your friends
[00:02:15.196]and the other members of your student organization,
[00:02:17.708]and they're not about to walk into a fountain,
[00:02:19.697]they're about to have another drink
[00:02:21.207]when they're already really drunk,
[00:02:23.047]or they're about to start a fight,
[00:02:24.668]or pee in somebody's flower garden,
[00:02:26.607]or head upstairs with someone else
[00:02:28.436]who's too drunk to really give consent.
[00:02:31.116]You get the picture.
[00:02:32.936]What you do here really does matter.
[00:02:35.348]Sometimes not doing anything just isn't an option
[00:02:37.996]because you're still responsible for what happens.
[00:02:40.636]So just laughing at it and posting the video
[00:02:43.186]only let's everyone else know how bad you are
[00:02:45.379]at managing alcohol use, but no-one likes being told
[00:02:48.925]what to do or how to live their life.
[00:02:51.116]So what do you do?
[00:02:52.706]Well, you make an agreement beforehand.
[00:02:55.733]Let's say you and the other person know each other,
[00:02:57.925]so you go up to the other person
[00:02:59.405]when they're not about to do something
[00:03:01.045]they'll regret, and you say,
[00:03:02.465]"Hey, looks like we both like to party,
[00:03:04.626]"and sometimes it gets us into trouble.
[00:03:06.575]"So how about we make an agreement.
[00:03:08.186]"If you see me about to do something
[00:03:10.266]"that could really mess me up when I'm drinking,
[00:03:12.437]"you say or do something that helps me avoid it.
[00:03:15.165]"And I'll do the same thing for you."
[00:03:16.826]And he or she says, "Great, but don't shout at me
[00:03:19.572]"from across the room, because that's really embarrassing.
[00:03:22.085]"Let's use a code or something."
[00:03:23.346]And you say, "Okay, and if I'm with someone,
[00:03:25.855]"let's make sure that you pull me aside,
[00:03:27.375]"so it doesn't look weird."
[00:03:28.946]And he or she says, "Cool, but this is really important.
[00:03:32.245]"You can keep me from hurting myself or someone else,
[00:03:34.764]"but I don't wanna hear any kind of judgment from you,
[00:03:37.255]"like, you need to stop drinking, okay?
[00:03:39.293]"Because that's not gonna happen."
[00:03:40.445]And you say, "Got it, okay, that's great."
[00:03:42.235]And then you both go get a burger or something.
[00:03:45.525]By the way, the guy or girl may still get pissed at you
[00:03:48.805]when you try to stop them from getting hurt
[00:03:50.925]or hurting somebody else when they're drinking
[00:03:52.845]even thought they made the agreement with you,
[00:03:55.164]and that's okay.
[00:03:56.554]And hey, you still kept him or her and you from the problem,
[00:04:00.645]which is the reason you did all of this in the first place.
[00:04:03.855]The next tool in your toolkit helps you
[00:04:05.485]make this kind of agreement for everyone
[00:04:08.125]in your student organization to step in
[00:04:10.352]for everyone else whenever the need arises.
[00:04:12.714]You set the conditions, you decide how it happens,
[00:04:15.746]and you all keep each other, and your student organization
[00:04:19.325]from risk failure and everything that goes with it.

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