Dadi's Family Video

Raymond Hames Author

09/01/2017 Added

5016 Plays

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Dadi's Family Video for ANTH 212

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[00:00:03.949](instrumental music)
[00:00:22.001](Indian traditional music)
[00:00:36.040](singing in foreign language)
[00:01:25.561](woman speaking in foreign language)
[00:01:29.333][Female translator] There are all kinds of mothers-in-law.
[00:01:32.413]A real mother-in-law treats her daughters-in-law
[00:01:34.842]like her own daughters.
[00:01:36.942]When our sons marry, the daughters-in-law come
[00:01:39.391]and live here in this house.
[00:01:42.192]Our daughters they marry and move away.
[00:01:46.762](Indian traditional music)
[00:01:52.154]A good mother-in-law manages the whole household
[00:01:55.303]and treats everybody the same.
[00:01:58.223]Without a mother-in-law there's no order in the house
[00:02:01.199]and the family doesn't stay together.
[00:02:04.002](singing in foreign language)
[00:02:15.533](woman speaking in foreign language)
[00:02:18.133]Today the times are such
[00:02:20.061]that in front of her husband's mother,
[00:02:22.413]her husband's father, in front of his elder brother,
[00:02:26.042]his younger brother, in front of everybody,
[00:02:28.442]a woman leaves her face unveiled.
[00:02:32.642]And wives eat with their husbands.
[00:02:36.223]In my day we served them and hid ourselves away.
[00:02:39.392]And nowadays married women, these daughters-in-law,
[00:02:42.882]listen only to their husbands.
[00:02:45.333]They won't listen to anyone else.
[00:02:47.823]We couldn't do that.
[00:02:51.122]When our men came in, our husbands, we do like this,
[00:02:56.533]and we wouldn't say a word.
[00:03:01.002]If our mother-in-law complained to her son,
[00:03:03.690]"Your wife doesn't do such-and-such,"
[00:03:05.202]then we'd be beaten.
[00:03:09.527]They beat us and they'd say,
[00:03:11.053]"Why didn't you do what she said?
[00:03:12.994]"Why were you rude to my mother?"
[00:03:16.034]Times have changed.
[00:03:18.285]I know one must move with it,
[00:03:21.183]but one shouldn't forget old loves or ignore new ways.
[00:03:25.743](people murmuring)
[00:03:34.365](women speaking in foreign language)
[00:03:55.025]This is a film about a family
[00:03:57.336]and the different roles women play throughout their lives:
[00:04:00.886]daughter, mother, mother-in-law,
[00:04:04.394]daughter-in-law, sister, wife.
[00:04:08.275](women speaking in foreign language)
[00:04:18.035]Dadi and her family live in a village of 500 families
[00:04:20.857]in the state of Haryana in North India.
[00:04:28.415](car honking)
[00:04:31.594]Dadi means grandmother.
[00:04:34.345]More importantly, Dadi is the Saas, the mother-in-law.
[00:04:39.606]She's the manager of a household which includes her husband,
[00:04:42.964]three grown sons, two daughters-in-law and seven children.
[00:04:51.445]When Dadi says the family, she means the male lineage
[00:04:55.497]with all their wives and children living
[00:04:57.265]as one economic unit, with everyone's income managed
[00:05:01.315]by the oldest couple.
[00:05:03.617]So far, her family has remained close to this ideal.
[00:05:19.665]Dadi's family may not remain together.
[00:05:22.615]It's threatened both by the possibility
[00:05:24.355]that one of her sons will break away
[00:05:26.345]and establish his own household, and by the daily pressures
[00:05:29.824]of different people living and working together.
[00:05:32.955](people murmuring)
[00:05:53.825](woman speaking in foreign language)
[00:05:57.355][Female translator] When I was a new bride,
[00:05:58.745]I felt like running away.
[00:06:00.785]I think, "Don't stay here, go home."
[00:06:02.985]That's how I thought.
[00:06:04.305]But after my son was born, I had a change of heart.
[00:06:07.595]This became my home.
[00:06:10.382]Now everything that's important to me is here.
[00:06:21.105](woman speaking in foreign language)
[00:06:24.401]In the family everyone works together.
[00:06:27.454]The mother and father-in-law,
[00:06:28.721]they make decisions for the whole family.
[00:06:30.854]We don't have to worry.
[00:06:32.399]But if my husband and I left the family
[00:06:34.548]to set up our own household, I'd have to do all the work
[00:06:37.329]in the fields and all the work in the house.
[00:06:40.209]There are benefits in staying together.
[00:06:42.878]My husband wants an office job and his family home.
[00:06:47.279]He doesn't want to live outside the village.
[00:06:53.828]He miss his children.
[00:06:57.367]He miss his father.
[00:06:58.748]He miss her mother.
[00:07:00.095]You can't have both.
[00:07:01.964]You have to choose.
[00:07:14.649]We have three children.
[00:07:16.442]Not too many.
[00:07:17.884]I only wanted two sons, but my husband wouldn't listen.
[00:07:21.934]He was set on having a daughter.
[00:07:26.735]He said, "When your sons bring home their wives,
[00:07:29.705]"you'll feel they've come easily.
[00:07:33.304]"But if you've given a daughter away in marriage,
[00:07:35.753]"you'll appreciate your daughters-in-law.
[00:07:38.695]"As a mother-in-law you'll think of your own daughter
[00:07:40.575]"at her in-laws
[00:07:41.558]"and then treat your sons' wives
[00:07:43.198]"like they were your daughters."
[00:07:44.678]I'd have stopped after two sons, but he wanted a daughter.
[00:07:48.289]See how wise my husband is?
[00:07:52.699](man shouts at the oxen)
[00:08:06.734]Everything has changed for a woman at her in-laws.
[00:08:10.266]Years ago, women were afraid of their mothers-in-law.
[00:08:13.226]They did whatever she told them to do.
[00:08:16.157]Now it's your husband's word that counts.
[00:08:19.367]Nobody listens to their mothers-in-law anymore.
[00:08:23.077]In Dadi's time it wasn't like that.
[00:08:25.218]She was dominated by others.
[00:08:30.207]Women of her generation were afraid,
[00:08:32.316]afraid of their mothers-in-law,
[00:08:33.898]of their sisters-in-law, afraid of their men.
[00:08:36.807]We aren't afraid.
[00:08:38.378]If we don't agree with our husbands, we can say so.
[00:08:41.355]If my husband does something wrong,
[00:08:43.378]if he doesn't listen to me, I can criticize him.
[00:08:46.647]He accepts it.
[00:08:48.698]In Dadi's time, husbands never listened.
[00:08:51.842]When I ask my husband to do something, he'll do it.
[00:08:56.527]That's what our times are like now.
[00:09:00.818]The world has changed.
[00:09:10.825](speaking in foreign language)
[00:09:22.469]I have three sons and 30 acres of land.
[00:09:26.951]This son does the chores and this son does the plowing.
[00:09:30.490]My youngest son is in the city.
[00:09:34.871]I have five grandsons, their mother
[00:09:39.461]and two daughters-in-law.
[00:09:42.861]I also have three daughters and two granddaughters.
[00:09:50.128]That's the family.
[00:09:51.570]Everybody works together on the farm.
[00:09:55.979]The sugarcane, it has to be planted.
[00:10:00.741]Then we cut it.
[00:10:02.758]Then it's threshed for the juice.
[00:10:04.839]And there's the wheat to harvest.
[00:10:07.719]And then we thresh it.
[00:10:12.369]And then there's all the grain to carry home.
[00:10:17.191]We farm all together, the whole family:
[00:10:20.290]my sons, my daughters-in-law, myself, their mother.
[00:10:23.831]The work is shared.
[00:10:25.629]The work never stops.
[00:10:28.878](speaking in foreign language)
[00:10:30.591][Female translator] It isn't that everybody contributes
[00:10:32.351]to the family and then they have to pay personal expenses
[00:10:35.101]out of their own pocket.
[00:10:36.890]Everybody gives us their earnings.
[00:10:39.261]Then, whenever someone needs something,
[00:10:41.431]whether it's so much money or so much cloth,
[00:10:43.671]we'll get it for them.
[00:10:46.078]That's the benefit of a large family:
[00:10:48.970]share the work and share the food.
[00:10:52.419]If I don't treat everyone equally,
[00:10:54.048]my sons will say, "Look, brother, you live on your earnings
[00:10:57.191]"and I'll live on mine."
[00:10:58.859]The family will split up
[00:11:00.010]and they'll have to fend for themselves.
[00:11:02.751]In the family survival is not a problem,
[00:11:05.568]everybody's cared for, countable.
[00:11:07.970]But on his own a man kills himself with work for nothing.
[00:11:11.650]If this family splits up, everything will be divided
[00:11:15.430]down to the last needle, even the needle and thread,
[00:11:19.431]they'll be divided.
[00:11:27.591]There are 100 things that can divide the family.
[00:11:31.458]But as long as my sons keep contributing equally,
[00:11:34.781]then the family will go on the way it has.
[00:11:39.490]Dadi is 56 years old.
[00:11:41.751]She came to this house as a bride when she was 16.
[00:11:45.479]Traditionally, women of Dadi's community
[00:11:47.798]have had no rights, except through men,
[00:11:50.559]to land her houses either in their parents home
[00:11:53.330]or their husband's home.
[00:11:55.670]A woman security rests on her relationships.
[00:12:00.118](speaking in foreign language)
[00:12:28.536]Darshini is the eldest daughter-in-law.
[00:12:31.576]If the family remains together, she will become the Dadi,
[00:12:34.725]the senior woman.
[00:12:37.896]Darshini has no brothers, and both her parents are dead.
[00:12:41.307]So, this is her only family.
[00:12:46.425]Her husband, Meherlal, never worked on the farm
[00:12:48.636]while he was growing up.
[00:12:50.174]After high school, he had a job as a clerk
[00:12:52.864]in an agricultural bank.
[00:12:55.054]Five years ago he lost his job,
[00:12:57.583]and now he does chores around the farm
[00:12:59.604]and takes care of the animals.
[00:13:07.082]Sita is the second daughter-in-law.
[00:13:09.905]Like Darshini, she's had only a few years
[00:13:11.985]of formal schooling.
[00:13:14.116]She's been working on the farm since her marriage.
[00:13:18.985]Her husband, Mohinder, began to work on the farm
[00:13:20.963]as a teenager.
[00:13:23.192]Some seasons, Mohinder spend such long hours in the fields,
[00:13:26.470]he doesn't see the village in daylight
[00:13:28.304]for several months at a time.
[00:13:30.851]He does all the heavier and more difficult work on the farm.
[00:13:34.656]Mohinder also has the responsibility
[00:13:36.424]of teaching the next generation how to manage the farm.
[00:13:40.004]As Dada taught him.
[00:13:45.424]Dada is 70 years old.
[00:13:47.605]He was an only son, so he inherited all of his father's land
[00:13:51.184]as well as the house, built by his grandfather.
[00:13:54.355]Like many farm families in this area,
[00:13:55.954]Dadi and Dada sent all their children to school.
[00:13:59.424]An educated daughter will get a better husband.
[00:14:01.886]And an educated son can contribute both his salary
[00:14:04.963]and his city connections to benefit the family.
[00:14:08.983]A son can live in the city with his wife and children
[00:14:11.895]and still be a part of the traditional family,
[00:14:14.675]as long as he continues to give his salary to his parents.
[00:14:20.608]Dada's youngest son, Rajinder, never learned to work
[00:14:23.976]on the farm.
[00:14:26.096]Rajinder lives in the city
[00:14:27.787]and has just graduated from college.
[00:14:30.155]At the moment he's unemployed.
[00:14:32.267]In a few days he'll be getting married,
[00:14:34.056]and will come back here for a brief stay.
[00:14:45.022]The state of Haryan is one of India's most productive areas.
[00:14:48.435]Farm output has doubled in 10 years.
[00:14:51.605]Farmers like Dada can afford tractors.
[00:14:53.944]They just don't want one.
[00:14:55.854]Using a team of oxen and renting a tractor occasionally
[00:14:58.515]makes more economic sense.
[00:15:00.984]By Indian village standards, Dadi's family
[00:15:03.525]and most of the 500 families here are very well-off indeed.
[00:15:07.755]Most people in the village are Jots,
[00:15:10.165]a caste group known throughout India
[00:15:11.736]as hardworking successful farmers.
[00:15:14.615]And in contrast to many parts of the country,
[00:15:16.816]here even in wealthy families women work.
[00:15:27.096](speaking in foreign language)
[00:16:18.002]A woman is always a daughter as well as a daughter-in-law.
[00:16:22.260]Most women return to their parents home
[00:16:24.058]for lengthy stays several times a year.
[00:16:27.629]It's an important right, and the more welcomed she is
[00:16:30.659]on her return to her parents' or brothers' home,
[00:16:33.587]the stronger her position at her in-laws.
[00:16:35.976](speaking in foreign language)
[00:17:10.490]All of Dadi's grandchildren go to school.
[00:17:13.223]The two granddaughters start class a bit later than the boys
[00:17:16.303]and they're expected to do a few chores
[00:17:18.025]before leaving for school.
[00:17:20.399](speaking in foreign language)
[00:17:45.273]After her daugher's death, Meherlal, the eldest son,
[00:17:48.353]will become the head of the family if it remains together.
[00:17:55.215]If Meherlal and his brothers decide
[00:17:56.863]to make separate households in the near future,
[00:17:59.724]the family property and the 30 acres
[00:18:01.772]will be divided in four parts.
[00:18:04.303]Dadi and Dada will take one share
[00:18:06.313]and pool it with one of the three sons.
[00:18:09.383](speaking in foreign language)
[00:19:44.821]A woman marries into a village of strangers.
[00:19:47.892]It's important to show modesty and respect,
[00:19:50.410]especially in front of men older than one's husband.
[00:20:17.180](speaking in foreign language)
[00:20:19.614]In any village street the women with their faces covered
[00:20:22.434]are daughters-in-law.
[00:20:24.445]The ones with their faces uncovered are daughters.
[00:20:28.954]Dadi's daughters Saroj and Anguri have come back
[00:20:32.525]for the celebration of their brother's wedding.
[00:20:38.426]In her husband's village, a woman is
[00:20:40.074]by extension a daughter-in-law
[00:20:41.834]or a sister-in-law to everyone.
[00:20:44.096]In her parents village, she is by extension a daughter,
[00:20:47.066]a sister to everyone, so she has a great deal
[00:20:49.496]more freedom both in public and in the house.
[00:21:02.332](speaking in foreign language)
[00:22:32.044](man speaking in foreign language)
[00:22:33.404]Children are an investment
[00:22:35.124]and sons work for your own family.
[00:22:37.244]Daughters move away.
[00:22:40.364]How can I explain it?
[00:22:43.625]When a son is born people sing songs and play the drums.
[00:22:48.284]They play the drum and say, "We've had a son."
[00:22:51.585]When it's a daughter, they don't play drums or sing songs.
[00:22:55.105]They aren't happy.
[00:22:56.764](women singing in foreign language)
[00:25:15.614]Weddings are family events.
[00:25:17.516]They help cement all relationships in the family,
[00:25:20.214]not just the relationship of the bride and the groom.
[00:25:22.996](women singing in foreign language)
[00:25:35.491]None of the women here have met Kanta, the new bride.
[00:25:38.690]And although they know she'll only stay a few days
[00:25:40.581]before going back to the city with Rajinder,
[00:25:43.344]there's a great deal of curiosity and interest in her.
[00:26:00.984](speaking in foreign language)
[00:26:29.761][Female translator] We won't get her to do anything.
[00:26:31.420]She's educated.
[00:26:36.030]These daughters-in-law, Sita and Darshini,
[00:26:38.801]they aren't educated.
[00:26:40.401]They'll do their work in the fields
[00:26:41.700]and Kanta will sit at home.
[00:26:46.081]She will heat water and bathe.
[00:26:48.140]She'll comb her hair, cook food,
[00:26:50.081]make bread and eat her meal;
[00:26:52.360]sit with us, laugh, talk, whatever.
[00:26:55.491]She'll sit upstairs with Rajinder.
[00:26:59.768]Right?
[00:27:01.640]Older women say education ruins a girl.
[00:27:04.808]I like educated women.
[00:27:07.168]Stupid people don't.
[00:27:09.658]I've been wise since I was this high.
[00:27:12.458]That's how I've managed this household.
[00:27:17.429]I didn't listen to any of the other women.
[00:27:24.178]I said yes to everybody.
[00:27:26.138]I piled on the yeses, but I did what I wanted to do.
[00:27:41.429](people murmuring)
[00:27:44.257](speaking in foreign language)
[00:27:58.633]Rajinder, Dadi's youngest son,
[00:28:00.713]will be married in the house of the bride's family
[00:28:02.832]as it's traditional.
[00:28:04.651](speaking in foreign language)
[00:28:13.311]The women of the groom's family do not attend the wedding,
[00:28:16.283]so Dadi won't be going.
[00:28:18.982]She and Darshini and Sita will be meeting the bride
[00:28:21.273]for the first time when she arrives
[00:28:22.998]in the village this evening.
[00:28:25.281](speaking in foreign language)
[00:28:33.332]There's a great deal of preparation
[00:28:34.982]for the wedding parties return to the village
[00:28:36.902]with the bride.
[00:28:38.214]But all that Dadi will see of the wedding itself
[00:28:41.174]are the photographs.
[00:28:43.083](Indian traditional music)
[00:28:55.342]Dadi's two older sons had arranged marriages.
[00:28:59.985]Rajinder is the first son to choose his own bride.
[00:29:04.563]He met Kanta in school when they were teenagers.
[00:29:07.953]Her family lives in the city
[00:29:09.113]and she has a job there as a teacher.
[00:29:17.944]The wedding takes place in the afternoon.
[00:29:21.014]In the village the women of the family
[00:29:22.534]have their own celebration.
[00:29:24.323](women laughing)
[00:29:27.303](women singing in foreign language)
[00:30:03.694](women speaking in foreign language)
[00:30:24.702](women singing in foreign language)
[00:31:23.030](women speaking in foreign language)
[00:31:43.573](women singing in foreign language)
[00:32:57.823](Dadi speaking in foreign language)
[00:33:01.234][Female translator] My daughters-in-law aren't concerned
[00:33:03.561]about the future.
[00:33:05.074]I was like that once.
[00:33:07.093]Let them be.
[00:33:08.533]But they should be allies: today I'm the mother-in-law;
[00:33:11.762]tomorrow they will be the mothers-in-law.
[00:33:14.223]They don't understand this.
[00:33:15.732]They think nothing will change.
[00:33:17.653]Doesn't everything change?
[00:33:19.441]They'll grow old.
[00:33:20.682]They'll all grow old, and no one's fate is the same.
[00:33:24.434]Someone's husband will die.
[00:33:26.200]Someone will have children.
[00:33:27.792]Anything can happen.
[00:33:31.114]In the family we can bear any loss
[00:33:32.931]because we all suffer together,
[00:33:34.773]but if they leave the family,
[00:33:36.234]they'll have their own problems
[00:33:37.571]and they'll have to find their own solutions.
[00:33:40.121](speaking in foreign language)
[00:34:14.776]The arrival of the bride and groom
[00:34:16.315]is followed by several days of feasting
[00:34:18.477]and visits by neighbors and relatives.
[00:34:21.608]There's a great deal of extra work in the house.
[00:34:24.597]It's a time of celebration, but also a time of strain,
[00:34:28.317]particularly for the eldest daughter-in-law, Darshini.
[00:34:33.421][Female Translator] After the wedding,
[00:34:35.066]Darshini wanted to go to her uncle's village for a few days.
[00:34:39.477]I told her she couldn't go.
[00:34:41.616]I refused because there's too much work in the house.
[00:34:44.706]She started crying.
[00:34:46.648]I know she doesn't have an easy time in this family.
[00:34:49.917]I tried to comfort her but she got upset
[00:34:51.848]about all the things in the family that make her unhappy.
[00:35:00.417](speaking in foreign language)
[00:38:23.360]I wanted to tell her your mother-in-law
[00:38:26.389]feels miserable for you.
[00:38:29.570]Meherlal had a job.
[00:38:31.658]A bit about 400, 500 rupees a month,
[00:38:34.416]but he got drunk and lost it.
[00:38:36.480]If one's man is drunk no one can say anything.
[00:38:40.966]She doesn't have a mother or a father.
[00:38:45.456]Now I'm her mother and Dada is her father.
[00:38:49.395]She's got no one else.
[00:40:03.262](speaking in foreign language)
[00:42:12.530]Women here do a lot of work.
[00:42:14.471]more work than men.
[00:42:16.450]They fetch water, cut fodder, chop it up as feed
[00:42:19.762]for the animals, and the milking.
[00:42:22.860]They milk the cows.
[00:42:26.450]They collect cow dung and dry it for fuel.
[00:42:30.751]Women do a lot of work.
[00:42:33.271]A woman does everything in the house.
[00:42:35.690]She works all day in the fields and still comes home
[00:42:38.530]to more work, and even then the husband gets angry.
[00:42:43.402]She works with her husband in the fields and still has
[00:42:45.762]to heat water, make bread and cook the food.
[00:42:49.661]And men get upset: "Where's my bath water?
[00:42:52.368]"Why is taking you so long with the food?"
[00:42:55.901]It's difficult here for women.
[00:42:59.951](speaking in foreign language)
[00:44:36.682][Female translator] Women can be married off
[00:44:38.904]anywhere to anybody.
[00:44:40.664]We have no choice but to live with him.
[00:44:43.882]Ours is the inferior caste to women.
[00:44:48.490]If you're lucky you'll get a good man
[00:44:50.528]who will keep you lovingly you.
[00:44:52.699]If you get a stingy good for nothing,
[00:44:54.408]he can say, go, you're not fit for me.
[00:44:57.588]Then where do we go?
[00:44:59.659]Where do we go?
[00:45:01.427]Ours is a worthless caste.
[00:45:06.734]This is how it is for women.
[00:45:09.507]This is our problem.
[00:45:12.368]God, whatever you want will be.
[00:45:28.790]An educated woman can manage.
[00:45:31.378]Illiterate ones like us can't.
[00:45:33.798]Whose mate do we become?
[00:45:43.356]We have to use all our knowledge,
[00:45:45.955]our wisdom and our understanding.
[00:45:49.636]We have to establish our home,
[00:45:51.678]raise our children, do everything.
[00:45:56.910]We have to be submissive and do our work.
[00:47:13.673](speaking in foreign language)
[00:52:23.852]Anything might happen to this family.
[00:52:27.066]Once my youngest son Rajinder gets a job,
[00:52:29.617]if he doesn't share his salary with the rest of the family,
[00:52:32.715]if he keeps taking from the farm, then what will happen?
[00:52:36.297]If he won't contribute, how will we meet our expenses?
[00:52:41.337]At first his brothers would say, "It doesn't matter
[00:52:45.316]"if he keeps some of his salary
[00:52:47.057]"as long as he gives some too".
[00:52:49.377]But after a while, after he has children,
[00:52:51.876]maybe Rajinder will stop giving anything.
[00:52:54.606]If he takes his share from the farm,
[00:52:56.567]how will the family go on?
[00:52:58.475]In farming you have to put in in order to take out.
[00:53:01.897]Need everybody's work.
[00:53:03.537]There's always something that's got to be done.
[00:53:06.228]A buffalo has to be bought, some cows, a house dog.
[00:53:11.548]There are 100 things.
[00:53:14.828](speaking in foreign language)
[00:53:16.617]Now, I've got four children, right?
[00:53:18.599]The family is good for me because it pays
[00:53:20.777]for my children's schooling.
[00:53:22.679]Later, it will pay for their marriages.
[00:53:24.999]When they're all settled, I'll feel at ease.
[00:53:28.727]But what's the advantage for Rajinder's wife?
[00:53:31.767]She doesn't have children, no school fees.
[00:53:34.964]She doesn't want to contribute when it only benefits us.
[00:53:37.825]She'd rather separate from the family.
[00:53:40.177]Without children, there's no advantage to the family.
[00:53:43.627]Their expenses are low.
[00:53:47.165]They could save money, so it makes sense to leave.
[00:53:49.726]I don't want to for at least a few years.
[00:53:51.777]By then my children will be through school,
[00:53:54.175]they'll be married and I'll be free.
[00:53:59.317]For me it's no burden, it's a support.
[00:54:03.097]That's the situation.
[00:54:07.026]We're in the grip of the land,
[00:54:09.347]weeding sugarcane, sowing wheat,
[00:54:11.936]my husband plows, but why should my son?
[00:54:14.974]This life is all right for us,
[00:54:16.478]but we'd like to give our children a better chance.
[00:54:19.706]What's in farming?
[00:54:21.987]We live in dirt and dust.
[00:54:24.726]We'd like to improve our lot and our children's.
[00:54:28.726]So we want them to study as much as they can.
[00:54:31.078]We work the land, but why should they suffer?
[00:54:36.286]It's our duty as parents to give them a better chance,
[00:54:39.753]that's our hope.
[00:54:40.987]We've only three children, not too many,
[00:54:44.553]two boys and a girl.
[00:54:47.785]We'll send them to school for as long as they wish.
[00:54:52.387]Our job is to educate them, the rest is up to them.
[00:54:55.805]Whether they study or not, all we want in our hearts
[00:54:59.845]is that they study and find jobs outside the village.
[00:55:04.574]We have troubles.
[00:55:05.595]They'll have them too if they stay here.
[00:55:10.433]I had 10 children.
[00:55:12.496]Out of 10, only six are alive.
[00:55:15.827]If I stopped after one or two,
[00:55:17.765]what would have happen to our land and our home?
[00:55:21.805]How would we have coped?
[00:55:23.386]Four, five of mine have died, but I still have six children.
[00:55:27.745]If I'd had an operation done after the first two, then what?
[00:55:31.813]Meherlal was my firstborn.
[00:55:34.914]Then some died and some lived, but the situation
[00:55:38.915]was under control, so what have I lost?
[00:55:43.740]Who's stronger than I?
[00:55:46.180]Are my daughters-in-law?
[00:55:48.351]They only had one or two, are they better?
[00:55:51.071]I can hold their necks in each hand.
[00:55:54.271]Tell me, how are they better?
[00:55:57.450]What have I lost?
[00:56:04.140]God, there should be plenty of work
[00:56:05.551]and plenty of people to do it.
[00:56:07.681]By God's grace there should always be the family.
[00:56:10.932]God bless this family.
[00:56:12.761]Give it success and a long life.
[00:56:15.420]May God give us wealth and work in this house.
[00:56:18.881]When there's no work, then nothing is left.
[00:56:22.891]For those who don't have a family, what use is their wealth?

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