Writing Fundamentals: Part 8

Office of Graduate Studies Author

12/19/2016 Added

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Part 8 of a 10-part Research Writing Fundamentals workshop presented by Dr. Rick Lombardo

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[00:00:00.000]Go to page two, and go down to the exercise,
[00:00:03.132]you're gonna read that top part on your own later.
[00:00:05.784]It's pretty informative.
[00:00:08.548]I want you to underline the controlling idea,
[00:00:10.677]that's number one only,
[00:00:13.030]and list, let's say you're gonna write about this,
[00:00:16.996]here's the topic sentence,
[00:00:18.711]Homeowners should eliminate fire hazards from their home.
[00:00:21.269]Forget the word should, and just underline
[00:00:26.051]eliminate fire hazards from their homes.
[00:00:29.213]Let's say that's your topic sentence.
[00:00:32.880]Now I don't want you to write a paragraph here,
[00:00:35.909]jot down some thoughts, a couple of words
[00:00:39.494]about how you would build that paragraph out, go ahead.
[00:00:44.219]Could I put in one of these,
[00:00:46.625]install fire alarms... as an idea?
[00:00:51.420]Could I write install fire alarms?
[00:00:54.631]No.
[00:00:55.690]Why not?
[00:00:56.943]It doesn't eliminate fire hazards.
[00:00:58.466]It doesn't eliminate the fire hazards.
[00:01:01.596]That's how straightforward your topic sentence is,
[00:01:06.654]and how narrow it is.
[00:01:09.616]That's a good detail for a following paragraph.
[00:01:14.458]Give me some ideas, what'd you write down?
[00:01:16.638]Conduct electrical inspections.
[00:01:18.745]Do what?
[00:01:19.578]Conduct electrical inspection to see (muffled)
[00:01:25.753]That might be a little bit akin to install fire alarms.
[00:01:30.440]How about repair frayed wires?
[00:01:33.384]You'd need to have an inspection
[00:01:35.066]in order to see whether or not you have a frayed wire,
[00:01:37.677]Yeah, okay, so you're close.
[00:01:40.311]Anybody else, what else did you put down?
[00:01:43.038]What was your idea?
[00:01:44.590]Explain what...
[00:01:48.964]So explain what is fire hazards,
[00:01:52.961]give some examples and give the consequences.
[00:01:56.915]Okay, the topic sentence doesn't say
[00:01:59.985]explain what fire hazards are,
[00:02:02.728]it says how to eliminate them, right?
[00:02:07.172]So you're kind of going off, that might be a preceding
[00:02:10.001]paragraph, you're gonna talk about what fire hazards are.
[00:02:12.743]I think most people know what fire hazards are.
[00:02:15.700]What's another idea, what'd you come up with?
[00:02:18.650]I had include statistics about
[00:02:21.184]how much damage is done, how many lives
[00:02:23.634]are lost due to fire hazards?
[00:02:26.363]Okay, this is a simple paragraph, this isn't a paper.
[00:02:30.514]So that would be good as part of a paper.
[00:02:34.407]But to develop this paragraph,
[00:02:36.806]that'd be way beyond the scope of that topic sentence.
[00:02:40.294]Anybody else, yes, hold on.
[00:02:43.867]Get injured or die in a fire,
[00:02:46.278]is one reason you should eliminate.
[00:02:48.374]Okay, I said, just forget about the word should
[00:02:52.120]in this sentence, sorry, anybody else?
[00:02:59.547]Keep fire supplies away from kids.
[00:03:03.448]Keep matches away from children.
[00:03:06.261]Somebody answered once, get rid of children.
[00:03:09.509](students laughing)
[00:03:11.815]Yeah, keep flammable things away from children.
[00:03:14.832]What's one more, anybody else?
[00:03:18.613]Hold on.
[00:03:23.921]Maybe to put a container to collect the melt candles.
[00:03:30.379]Okay, all right, or blow out candles
[00:03:33.318]before you go to bed, something like that.
[00:03:35.638]Don't smoke in bed, all those kinds of things
[00:03:38.404]you would use to develop this paragraph.
[00:03:41.133]You're in charge of developing the paragraph,
[00:03:43.032]you're in charge of how clear your topic sentence is.
[00:03:46.164]When you write clear topic sentences,
[00:03:49.168]it's easier to write the paragraph,
[00:03:51.036]it's easier to develop the paragraph,
[00:03:53.107]and there's some examples above here, at the top.
[00:03:59.720]Look at this one, unacceptable,
[00:04:01.796]let's say your topic sentence is,
[00:04:03.309]there are two routes north of Vancouver.
[00:04:05.896]That doesn't give you any direction.
[00:04:08.901]How about this, revised,
[00:04:11.363]The routes north of Vancouver offer
[00:04:13.303]two different kinds of scenery.
[00:04:15.391]Folks, you're in charge of this.
[00:04:18.680]You're in charge of your writing.
[00:04:21.635]It's not a grammar book.
[00:04:24.717]It's not an English comp book.
[00:04:27.612]You are in charge of making your topic sentence
[00:04:30.630]a clear instruction for yourself and for your readers.
[00:04:34.735]Let's take a quick look at these transitions on page five.
[00:04:42.926]There are many, many transitions.
[00:04:47.130]It says, "Many words can be used to indicate
[00:04:48.850]"the path followed by a writer's thought.
[00:04:50.955]"They are called direction signals.
[00:04:54.035]"They don't represent an action or a thing,
[00:04:56.528]"nor do any of them describe an action or a thing.
[00:04:59.527]"Rather, they point out to the reader
[00:05:01.062]"the logical connections between the ideas, they reveal
[00:05:04.177]" the relationships between the writer's thoughts.
[00:05:07.302]"Of course, by concentrating hard,
[00:05:10.018]"a reader can figure out the relationships,"
[00:05:12.396]but I want you to underline this next section,
[00:05:15.342]"But a good writer," underline this,
[00:05:17.830]"but a good writer does not impose
[00:05:19.754]"such a burden upon a reader."
[00:05:22.227]So here are some of them,
[00:05:24.573]you could have five pages of these.
[00:05:26.764]If, then, however, therefore.
[00:05:30.423]Let's read the following three paragraphs,
[00:05:33.963]and I want you to underline,
[00:05:36.551]let's do the first two paragraphs in the interest of time.
[00:05:39.340]Underline those words or sentences
[00:05:42.412]that serve as transitions.
[00:05:44.661](light ambient music)
[00:05:50.291]All right let's stop there.
[00:05:52.320]Anybody want to volunteer to read what they found
[00:05:55.037]in the first paragraph, any volunteers?
[00:05:58.149]Hold on, let's stand up.
[00:06:00.944]Here she is.
[00:06:03.125]Thank you.
[00:06:04.126]Therefore, the second sentence,
[00:06:06.936]for one thing, as part, for another,
[00:06:11.684]however, and finally, but.
[00:06:15.503]Good work.
[00:06:18.828]You missed one, what did he miss?
[00:06:21.312](students mumbling)
[00:06:26.613]He got for another, didn't you?
[00:06:28.516]Yeah. He got for another.
[00:06:30.511]There is one big one he missed.
[00:06:32.734]However.
[00:06:33.986]He got the however.
[00:06:35.514]I think he got all those, what he didn't get
[00:06:38.879]was the entire last sentence.
[00:06:41.131]"But that is surely not the case
[00:06:43.691]"when dealing with a textbook."
[00:06:46.339]Again, that serves as a transition
[00:06:48.717]for the reader to the next paragraph.
[00:06:50.553]Thank you very much, nice job.
[00:06:53.113]How about second paragraph,
[00:06:54.537]any volunteers for second paragraph?
[00:06:56.194]The first line, first,
[00:06:58.280]then, second, therefore,
[00:07:02.253]third, in short.
[00:07:06.632]Okay, did he miss any?
[00:07:11.804]Because?
[00:07:14.230]What else?
[00:07:20.332]How about either/or,
[00:07:22.811]it says, use a pencil or pen at all times,
[00:07:25.162]either to, underline, or,
[00:07:27.440]right, either or is a transition.
[00:07:30.907]Remember, transitions can occur where, anybody?
[00:07:34.393]Between sentences, within sentences,
[00:07:38.108]and as an entire sentence at the end of a paragraph, yes?
[00:07:45.066]I wish we had more time to spend on that.
[00:07:47.578]But I think I'm gonna just summarize it
[00:07:49.380]by saying you need to use transitions
[00:07:52.457]to help your reader follow along with your thoughts.
[00:07:56.485]Now don't stick transitions in there where they don't fit,
[00:08:00.564]don't say for example if you're not gonna give an example.
[00:08:04.575]Use transitional words, phrases, and sentences.
[00:08:09.610]Use consistent order.
[00:08:11.890]Notice, this topic sentence says what?
[00:08:17.227]In response to a foreign macromolecule,
[00:08:19.586]five different immunoglobulins can be synthesized.
[00:08:22.527]And the writer lists them, right?
[00:08:25.051]That's the topic sentence, right?
[00:08:27.780]You better talk about those in the order
[00:08:30.635]you presented them in the topic sentence.
[00:08:33.639]So the writer starts with,
[00:08:37.724]lgG, which he said or she said was first in the list.
[00:08:43.376]And he goes logically through this list.
[00:08:52.022]So he presents them in this order,
[00:08:54.299]so your sentences should be in that same order.
[00:08:56.449]He talks about lgG first, lgM second, lgA third.
[00:09:03.223]You need to do that, 'cause that's what
[00:09:06.245]your topic sentence said you were gonna do.
[00:09:09.495]It's the king and queen of your paragraph.

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Writing Fundamentals: Part 8

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