Men and Masculinity

Gender and Sexuality Center Author

08/05/2025 Added

4 Plays

Description

This presentation details social constructs and stereotypes that negatively affect men and masculine people. Also explore ways to promote healthy masculinity through focusing on emotional intelligence and well-being.

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[00:00:00.000]Welcome to the Men and Masculinity
[00:00:03.000]presentation. My name is Davianna
[00:00:05.320]Daydreamer, and I am an intern
[00:00:06.880]for the Gender and Sexuality
[00:00:08.590]Center here at the University
[00:00:10.530]of Nebraska-Lincoln.
[00:00:12.000]First and foremost, I want to
[00:00:13.940]thank you for the time you've
[00:00:15.780]taken out of your day to be
[00:00:17.390]here and watch this
[00:00:18.630]presentation.
[00:00:20.000]Before we get started, I'd like
[00:00:21.740]to acknowledge the land that we
[00:00:23.430]are on.
[00:00:24.000]As an Indigenous person, this
[00:00:25.720]is an important practice that
[00:00:27.460]has been around for centuries
[00:00:29.030]across various Native
[00:00:30.300]communities and nations.
[00:00:32.000]Even for non-Indigenous
[00:00:33.280]communities, land
[00:00:34.330]acknowledgement is a powerful
[00:00:35.970]way to show respect and honor
[00:00:37.590]the Indigenous people of this
[00:00:39.360]land that we are now living on.
[00:00:41.000]In this simple way, we can
[00:00:42.750]fight against the erasure of
[00:00:44.540]Indigenous histories by
[00:00:46.170]inviting these truths into our
[00:00:48.190]spaces.
[00:00:49.000]The University of Nebraska is a
[00:00:50.680]land-grant institution with
[00:00:52.330]campuses and programs
[00:00:54.000]based on the past, present, and
[00:00:55.740]future homelands of the
[00:00:56.990]following tribes:
[00:00:58.000]The Pawnee, Ponca, Otoe-Missouria,
[00:01:01.330]Omaha, Dakota, Lakota, Arapaho,
[00:01:03.810]Cheyenne, and Kaw peoples,
[00:01:06.000]as well as the relocated Ho-Chunk,
[00:01:09.040]Iowa, and Sac and Fox peoples.
[00:01:12.000]With this acknowledgement, we
[00:01:13.490]affirm Indigenous sovereignty
[00:01:15.000]and will work to hold our
[00:01:16.510]community and institution more
[00:01:18.620]accountable to the needs of
[00:01:19.750]Indigenous people.
[00:01:21.000]If you're interested in
[00:01:21.790]learning and supporting the
[00:01:22.320]Indigenous community,
[00:01:23.000]please refer to the website
[00:01:25.770]listed below.
[00:01:32.000]Now, let me tell you about what
[00:01:33.620]we do here at the Gender and
[00:01:35.170]Sexuality Center.
[00:01:36.000]In general, the Center does a
[00:01:37.530]lot of different things.
[00:01:39.000]We do presentations just like
[00:01:41.280]this one, as well as workshops.
[00:01:43.000]There are a number of
[00:01:44.090]presentations and workshops you
[00:01:45.920]can request from us,
[00:01:47.000]and that can be done via the
[00:01:49.100]presentations form on our
[00:01:51.650]website.
[00:01:52.000]As we do, we will get back to
[00:01:53.510]you within a few days to set up
[00:01:54.670]a time and date for that
[00:01:56.490]presentation.
[00:01:58.000]We also offer a variety of
[00:01:59.390]resources at the Gender and
[00:02:00.920]Sexuality Center during our
[00:02:02.770]business hours.
[00:02:04.000]For example, we have a library
[00:02:05.640]with over 1,200 books and
[00:02:07.530]movies with anything you can
[00:02:09.430]imagine related to gender and
[00:02:11.490]sexuality topics.
[00:02:13.000]We also have a children's
[00:02:14.470]library, which offers a
[00:02:15.860]collection of inclusive and
[00:02:17.580]gender-diverse books to support
[00:02:19.550]students with children.
[00:02:21.000]Another major resource at our
[00:02:23.010]Center is the Lavender Closet,
[00:02:25.000]which seeks to provide all UNL
[00:02:26.830]students, staff, and faculty
[00:02:29.000]with free and discreet access
[00:02:31.000]to identity-affirming clothing
[00:02:32.840]and accessories.
[00:02:34.000]When students can express
[00:02:35.520]themselves in a way that is
[00:02:36.890]validating and true to who they
[00:02:38.620]are,
[00:02:39.000]they are better able to focus
[00:02:40.900]on continuing their education
[00:02:42.970]and pursuing their dreams.
[00:02:45.000]You can try on items using the
[00:02:46.530]actual space of the Lavender Closet
[00:02:48.460]with complete privacy.
[00:02:50.000]The Gender and Sexuality Center
[00:02:51.800]also distributes menstrual
[00:02:53.440]products and safer sex kits,
[00:02:56.120]which include condoms and
[00:02:57.300]lubricant.
[00:02:58.000]Other supplies, such as dental
[00:02:59.640]dams and internal condoms, are
[00:03:01.270]also available upon request.
[00:03:03.000]We offer volunteer
[00:03:04.400]opportunities as well, where
[00:03:06.360]students can work with us to
[00:03:07.970]complete projects for classes,
[00:03:10.000]volunteer within programming,
[00:03:12.000]or help us around the office to
[00:03:13.500]fulfill volunteer hours.
[00:03:15.000]The Gender and Sexuality Center
[00:03:16.530]also runs a learning community
[00:03:17.980]called Presents.
[00:03:19.000]This learning community is
[00:03:20.950]housed in Dynamic Housing,
[00:03:23.000]where students who identify as
[00:03:26.140]LGBTQA+ or are allies of the
[00:03:27.810]community are welcome.
[00:03:29.000]Prism emphasizes the
[00:03:30.200]intersectionality with everyone's
[00:03:32.280]identities
[00:03:33.000]and allows students to explore
[00:03:34.560]their personal identities in a
[00:03:36.410]supportive and caring
[00:03:39.020]environment.
[00:03:41.000]We also include a number of
[00:03:42.640]events as part of our
[00:03:43.970]programming.
[00:03:45.000]These include our LGBTQA+
[00:03:46.550]Welcome Celebration,
[00:03:48.000]Drag Shows, Lavender Graduation,
[00:03:51.000]and other smaller community
[00:03:52.830]building and educational events.
[00:03:56.000]Other events we've run include
[00:03:58.000]the Women's Empowerment Celebration
[00:04:00.000]and Growing Your Identity.
[00:04:02.000]If you would like to donate to
[00:04:03.370]the Gender and Sexuality Center,
[00:04:05.000]you can visit the Connect With
[00:04:06.810]Us tab on our website and click
[00:04:08.880]"Donate to the GSC."
[00:04:11.000]Here you can offer financial
[00:04:12.860]donations to our General LGBTQA+
[00:04:15.350]Student Support Fund
[00:04:17.000]or our Student Parent Support
[00:04:18.710]Fund.
[00:04:19.000]On this page, you can also
[00:04:20.570]purchase menstrual products
[00:04:22.000]from our Amazon Wishlist
[00:04:23.000]that are then provided to
[00:04:24.960]students.
[00:04:26.000]You can also learn more about
[00:04:27.340]how to donate clothes to our
[00:04:29.410]Lavender Closet.
[00:04:31.000]Just as a warning, this
[00:04:34.290]presentation does contain
[00:04:36.000]content related to rape, sexual
[00:04:38.420]assault, violence,
[00:04:39.000]self-harm, suicide, transphobia,
[00:04:42.390]transmisogyny, and homophobia.
[00:04:44.000]So please do what you need to
[00:04:46.000]to take care of yourself
[00:04:47.420]throughout this presentation.
[00:04:49.000]Throughout this presentation,
[00:04:52.130]we will discuss social
[00:04:53.810]constructs
[00:04:55.000]and stereotypes negatively
[00:04:56.770]affecting men and masculine
[00:04:58.740]people,
[00:04:59.000]how these constructs reinforce
[00:05:01.000]toxic masculinity,
[00:05:02.000]and ways to express healthy
[00:05:04.000]masculinity and increase
[00:05:05.620]emotional intelligence.
[00:05:07.000]First, let's discuss social
[00:05:10.260]constructs.
[00:05:12.000]Social constructs refer to
[00:05:13.890]societal norms and ideas
[00:05:15.000]that people and society agree
[00:05:17.480]on.
[00:05:18.000]An example of this would be the
[00:05:20.270]way society has collectively
[00:05:21.710]agreed
[00:05:22.000]that a dollar bill has value in
[00:05:24.160]comparison to a white sheet of
[00:05:26.280]paper.
[00:05:27.000]Social constructs have informed
[00:05:28.340]our perception related to what
[00:05:30.440]is deemed "masculinity."
[00:05:32.000]Specifically, in our Western
[00:05:33.560]society, there are these ideas
[00:05:34.990]of what a "real man" looks like,
[00:05:38.000]and these ideas can lead to
[00:05:39.570]harmful consequences for both
[00:05:41.580]men and the people around them.
[00:05:44.000]Sometimes social constructs
[00:05:45.500]about men and masculinity
[00:05:47.000]become stereotypes,
[00:05:49.000]which are widely held but oversimplified
[00:05:51.680]beliefs
[00:05:52.000]about the characteristics of a
[00:05:54.450]group of people.
[00:05:56.000]As we look to build healthy
[00:05:57.340]masculinity,
[00:05:58.000]it is important to recognize
[00:06:00.000]and unpack the stereotypical
[00:06:01.450]qualities
[00:06:02.000]that make up a "real man,"
[00:06:05.000]as they can be extremely
[00:06:06.340]harmful and distressing.
[00:06:08.000]These different stereotypes
[00:06:09.550]include claims that
[00:06:11.000]"Men don't cry openly or
[00:06:13.000]express emotions
[00:06:13.000]except for anger."
[00:06:15.000]"Men don't express weakness or
[00:06:17.270]fear."
[00:06:18.000]"Men demonstrate power and
[00:06:19.510]control, especially over women."
[00:06:22.000]"Men must be aggressive and
[00:06:23.940]dominant."
[00:06:25.000]"Men solve their own problems
[00:06:26.500]without asking for help."
[00:06:28.000]"Men must be protectors and
[00:06:29.890]providers."
[00:06:31.000]"Men should not behave like
[00:06:32.610]women or like a gay man."
[00:06:35.000]"Men cannot be feminine."
[00:06:37.000]"Men should never say no to sex."
[00:06:39.000]"A man being sexually assaulted
[00:06:41.000]is not believable
[00:06:42.000]as it must have been wanted."
[00:06:44.000]"Men should be the emotional
[00:06:45.940]rock for women."
[00:06:47.000]"Men shouldn't need mental
[00:06:48.640]health services."
[00:06:50.000]When these stereotypes are
[00:06:51.290]internalized or believed,
[00:06:53.000]they often only serve to hurt
[00:06:55.000]men and the people around them.
[00:06:57.000]Internalizing the belief that
[00:06:59.000]men should demonstrate power
[00:07:00.000]and control over women can lead
[00:07:02.460]to things such as dating
[00:07:03.490]violence.
[00:07:04.000]Internalizing the belief that
[00:07:06.250]men cannot be sexually
[00:07:07.440]assaulted
[00:07:08.000]discourages men not only from
[00:07:09.530]disclosing their assaults
[00:07:11.000]but seeking support and blaming
[00:07:13.000]themselves.
[00:07:14.000]Just these few reasons show us
[00:07:16.110]why it's important
[00:07:17.000]to begin naming and interrogating
[00:07:20.000]the validity of these
[00:07:21.220]stereotypes.
[00:07:22.000]When talking about social
[00:07:24.080]constructs,
[00:07:25.000]it is also important to discuss
[00:07:26.740]intersectionality.
[00:07:28.000]Intersectionality is a concept
[00:07:30.000]that describes how social
[00:07:31.480]categories
[00:07:32.000]such as race and gender overlap
[00:07:34.990]to create interconnected
[00:07:35.990]experiences
[00:07:37.000]of not only discrimination and
[00:07:39.150]oppression but power.
[00:07:40.000]Intersecting identities play an
[00:07:42.700]important role
[00:07:44.000]in the types of stereotypes
[00:07:45.900]placed on men.
[00:07:47.000]Social identities such as age,
[00:07:49.000]race, class, culture, sexuality,
[00:07:51.150]and religion,
[00:07:52.000]among others, affect masculine
[00:07:54.150]expectations and stereotypes.
[00:07:56.000]For example, a working class
[00:07:57.800]man may feel a greater
[00:07:59.370]disconnection
[00:08:00.000]to masculine ideals due to
[00:08:02.250]their socioeconomic status
[00:08:04.000]in comparison to an upper
[00:08:05.620]middle class man.
[00:08:07.000]Additionally, what it means to
[00:08:08.400]be masculine
[00:08:09.000]varies greatly across cultures.
[00:08:12.000]For example, within Western
[00:08:13.710]culture,
[00:08:14.000]a man should display emotional
[00:08:15.380]restraint, stoicism, and strong
[00:08:18.380]will,
[00:08:19.000]whereas in other cultures like
[00:08:20.880]Japanese culture,
[00:08:22.000]masculine expectations
[00:08:23.390]emphasize providing financially
[00:08:25.000]for one's family, loyalty, and
[00:08:27.040]work ethic.
[00:08:28.000]When deconstructing these
[00:08:30.010]stereotypes,
[00:08:31.000]it is important to remember
[00:08:33.000]that there are many aspects of
[00:08:34.200]identity
[00:08:35.000]in the society we operate in
[00:08:37.000]that are coming into play,
[00:08:38.000]and so it is helpful to be
[00:08:39.740]aware of them.
[00:08:41.000]As mentioned previously, these
[00:08:44.620]stereotypes, constructs,
[00:08:46.990]pressures,
[00:08:47.000]and expectations placed on men
[00:08:49.000]and masculine people
[00:08:51.000]can result in some
[00:08:52.020]heartbreaking consequences.
[00:08:54.000]These statistics on the screen
[00:08:56.060]are not intended to say
[00:08:57.000]that men are inherently more
[00:08:58.810]likely to be violent,
[00:09:00.000]but to really show the
[00:09:01.310]magnitude of the harm
[00:09:03.000]that these masculine
[00:09:04.320]stereotypes and expectations
[00:09:06.230]can have.
[00:09:07.000]So if we look closely here, we
[00:09:09.390]can see
[00:09:10.000]52% of trans boys and men aged
[00:09:13.670]13-24
[00:09:15.000]considered suicide in 2024,
[00:09:18.000]79% of people arrested for
[00:09:19.310]violent crimes are men,
[00:09:22.000]98% of mass shootings since
[00:09:24.050]1966 have been done by men,
[00:09:27.000]that cisgender men die by
[00:09:28.470]suicide at 4 times the rate of
[00:09:31.000]cisgender women,
[00:09:32.000]and that over 91% of sexual
[00:09:34.250]assaults are perpetrated by men.
[00:09:36.000]These statistics outline how
[00:09:39.000]dangerous the internalization
[00:09:40.000]of these stereotypes can be for
[00:09:42.300]both men and masculine people,
[00:09:44.000]and the people around them.
[00:09:46.000]Though these are harsh
[00:09:47.410]realities of the consequences
[00:09:49.000]of internalizing these
[00:09:50.270]stereotypes,
[00:09:51.000]by naming them, acknowledging
[00:09:52.680]them, and challenging them,
[00:09:54.000]these statistics can be changed.
[00:09:57.000]In addition to these
[00:09:58.070]consequences,
[00:09:59.000]men's emotional and relational
[00:10:01.170]well-being
[00:10:02.000]are at risk with these
[00:10:03.660]stereotypes.
[00:10:05.000]And this is not to say that men
[00:10:06.690]are inherently less emotional
[00:10:08.000]or more likely to be aggressive,
[00:10:10.000]but to really emphasize the
[00:10:12.130]harm of internalizing
[00:10:13.000]these social expectations and
[00:10:14.310]constructs.
[00:10:15.000]Men and masculine-presenting
[00:10:16.590]people
[00:10:17.000]are at risk for increased
[00:10:18.640]isolation and loneliness,
[00:10:20.000]increased competitiveness,
[00:10:22.000]a lack of positive masculine
[00:10:24.220]identity or role models,
[00:10:26.000]increased aggression,
[00:10:28.000]a lack of healthy friendships
[00:10:29.890]with other men,
[00:10:31.000]emotional over-dependence on
[00:10:33.370]women,
[00:10:34.000]increased depression,
[00:10:36.000]inappropriate expression of
[00:10:37.550]anger,
[00:10:38.000]decreased likelihood of seeking
[00:10:41.000]mental health services,
[00:10:42.000]internalization of misogynistic
[00:10:44.740]stereotypes,
[00:10:46.000]difficulty with intimacy and
[00:10:47.870]vulnerability,
[00:10:49.000]decreased self-esteem,
[00:10:51.000]and increased alcohol and
[00:10:52.760]substance use.
[00:10:54.000]Again, it is important to note
[00:10:56.000]that
[00:10:56.000]if men are internalizing this
[00:10:57.690]idea
[00:10:58.000]that they cannot express what
[00:11:00.200]is socially deemed as
[00:11:01.000]"weaknesses,"
[00:11:03.000]then the chances of them
[00:11:04.010]discussing these concerns
[00:11:06.000]with their friends, family, or
[00:11:07.720]even professionals
[00:11:09.000]becomes extremely low,
[00:11:11.000]and thus possibly exasperating
[00:11:13.000]these experiences further.
[00:11:14.000]This is why it becomes crucial
[00:11:16.100]to identify these consequences
[00:11:18.000]in efforts to deconstruct our
[00:11:20.230]current societal constructs.
[00:11:22.000]So with that,
[00:11:24.000]let's discuss what the phrase "toxic
[00:11:25.680]masculinity" means.
[00:11:28.000]Toxic masculinity is a concept
[00:11:30.570]referring to the cultural
[00:11:32.000]expectations
[00:11:32.000]of men, manliness, masculinity,
[00:11:35.000]and behaviors
[00:11:37.000]that perpetrate domination, homophobia,
[00:11:39.000]misogyny, and aggression,
[00:11:41.000]which subsequently damage men's
[00:11:43.340]self-esteem and mental health.
[00:11:45.000]The social expectations and
[00:11:47.210]stereotypes about masculinity
[00:11:49.000]we previously discussed usually
[00:11:51.360]promote ideas of toxic
[00:11:52.650]masculinity.
[00:11:54.000]When we talk about toxic
[00:11:55.300]masculinity,
[00:11:56.000]the word "toxic" is not
[00:11:58.230]describing the men or masculine
[00:11:59.630]people themselves,
[00:12:01.000]but rather the toxicity of
[00:12:03.070]these societal expectations
[00:12:04.000]as they can lead to harmful and
[00:12:06.190]really unsustainable behaviors.
[00:12:10.000]When discussing toxic
[00:12:11.290]masculinity,
[00:12:12.000]it's important to discuss and
[00:12:13.490]acknowledge male privilege.
[00:12:15.000]This isn't intended to create
[00:12:16.640]guilt or defensiveness,
[00:12:18.000]nor is it to say that people
[00:12:19.310]with privilege don't work hard,
[00:12:21.000]face difficulties, or earn
[00:12:23.400]their own accomplishments.
[00:12:25.000]They do.
[00:12:26.000]Yes, it can be uncomfortable,
[00:12:28.000]but it is important to
[00:12:28.860]highlight these realities
[00:12:30.000]as they maintain the
[00:12:31.200]inequalities and injustices
[00:12:33.000]within our society.
[00:12:34.000]Privilege is a special right,
[00:12:36.100]benefit, or advantage
[00:12:38.000]given to a person not from work
[00:12:40.210]or merit,
[00:12:41.000]but by reason of belonging to
[00:12:42.400]the majority/dominant social
[00:12:44.460]identity.
[00:12:45.000]So, with male privilege,
[00:12:47.000]it is these various things that
[00:12:49.220]are given to a man
[00:12:50.000]just for the sole fact of being
[00:12:52.310]a man.
[00:12:53.000]Examples of privilege men may
[00:12:55.120]experience include
[00:12:56.000]being less likely to be afraid
[00:12:57.900]for their safety
[00:12:59.000]when walking alone at night,
[00:13:01.000]being sexually assaulted,
[00:13:03.000]or having their drink drugged
[00:13:05.310]at a bar,
[00:13:06.000]having better chances of being
[00:13:07.560]hired,
[00:13:08.000]promoted, and paid more in the
[00:13:10.300]workplace,
[00:13:11.000]being less likely to have their
[00:13:12.870]medical concerns
[00:13:14.000]dismissed or discounted by
[00:13:15.490]healthcare professionals,
[00:13:17.000]being less likely to be
[00:13:18.750]interrupted,
[00:13:20.000]talked over, or have their
[00:13:21.570]opinions dismissed in social
[00:13:23.200]settings.
[00:13:24.000]It is also important to note
[00:13:26.000]that some of these privileges
[00:13:28.000]may apply
[00:13:28.000]to trans men depending on where
[00:13:29.680]they are in their transition.
[00:13:31.000]These privileges also differ
[00:13:33.000]based on intersecting
[00:13:34.290]identities.
[00:13:35.000]As we discussed before,
[00:13:36.000]the experiences of men can
[00:13:37.330]differ greatly
[00:13:38.000]according to race, sexuality,
[00:13:40.030]age, etc.
[00:13:42.000]For example, black men may fear
[00:13:44.690]for their safety
[00:13:45.000]more than other men of a
[00:13:47.100]different race
[00:13:48.000]due to race having more power
[00:13:50.000]than sex in our society.
[00:13:52.000]Okay, so now that we've built
[00:13:54.330]awareness
[00:13:55.000]on some of the privileges men
[00:13:56.320]can experience,
[00:13:57.000]we can look at how to
[00:13:59.300]incorporate this awareness
[00:14:00.000]into healthy masculinity.
[00:14:02.000]First, identify and acknowledge
[00:14:04.000]your privileges,
[00:14:05.000]like the ones we discussed on
[00:14:06.110]the previous slide,
[00:14:07.000]and how it gives you an
[00:14:08.190]advantage.
[00:14:09.000]For example, men are less
[00:14:10.610]likely
[00:14:11.000]to have their competence
[00:14:12.000]questioned
[00:14:13.000]in the workplace due to their
[00:14:14.650]gender
[00:14:15.000]and are less likely to feel
[00:14:17.000]socially accepted
[00:14:17.000]to take time off work after
[00:14:19.290]having a child.
[00:14:20.000]This can result in tangible
[00:14:22.440]advantages
[00:14:23.000]such as working more often,
[00:14:25.000]leading to more pay
[00:14:26.000]and greater chances of being
[00:14:28.020]promoted.
[00:14:29.000]Second, understand the
[00:14:30.650]hardships
[00:14:31.000]the lack of those privileges
[00:14:32.050]could have on others.
[00:14:34.000]This requires the ability to
[00:14:36.000]empathize
[00:14:36.000]with those who do not have
[00:14:37.590]those privileges.
[00:14:39.000]For example, truly acknowledge
[00:14:41.000]and understand
[00:14:41.000]the why behind women may worry
[00:14:43.550]about their safety
[00:14:44.000]with men on something like a
[00:14:46.120]first date.
[00:14:47.000]Instead of carrying this idea
[00:14:49.000]that women are paranoid
[00:14:50.000]when they share their location
[00:14:51.220]with their friends
[00:14:52.000]or want to take other safety
[00:14:54.000]precautions,
[00:14:55.000]pause and understand that a
[00:14:57.060]woman is not doing it
[00:14:58.000]as a personal stab towards the
[00:14:59.760]man,
[00:15:00.000]but to protect herself
[00:15:01.060]according to her life
[00:15:02.490]experiences
[00:15:03.000]and the very real dangers women
[00:15:05.410]tend to experience.
[00:15:07.000]Finally, work to empower and
[00:15:09.300]support others
[00:15:10.000]who do not have your advantages.
[00:15:13.000]Empower does not mean to speak
[00:15:15.320]for people
[00:15:16.000]or to "give them a voice."
[00:15:18.000]It means to amplify their
[00:15:19.380]voices.
[00:15:20.000]This can be done in many ways,
[00:15:22.000]like ensuring the women in your
[00:15:23.450]workplace
[00:15:24.000]have the chance to voice their
[00:15:26.050]perspective,
[00:15:27.000]challenging misogynistic
[00:15:29.240]stereotypes
[00:15:30.000]vocalized by other men when you
[00:15:32.460]hear it, and more.
[00:15:34.000]Another thing to be aware of is
[00:15:36.110]consent.
[00:15:37.000]One of the messages resulting
[00:15:39.000]from toxic masculinity
[00:15:40.000]is that men should always want
[00:15:41.750]sex
[00:15:42.000]and should be dominant over
[00:15:43.470]women.
[00:15:44.000]These kinds of expectations,
[00:15:46.000]paired with misogynistic
[00:15:47.480]beliefs
[00:15:48.000]that certain behaviors
[00:15:49.090]displayed by women
[00:15:50.000]are them "asking for it"
[00:15:53.000]or that women are meant to be
[00:15:55.040]sexually submissive to men,
[00:15:56.000]can lead to sexual behaviors
[00:15:58.000]that are not consensual.
[00:15:59.000]These same stereotypes can also
[00:16:01.490]lead men
[00:16:02.000]to invalidate sexual assaults
[00:16:04.000]that occur to them
[00:16:05.000]or even other men.
[00:16:07.000]So, it is important to remember
[00:16:09.000]consent applies to everyone,
[00:16:11.000]regardless of gender.
[00:16:11.000]With that being said,
[00:16:13.000]let's do a quick consent crash
[00:16:14.580]course.
[00:16:15.000]Consent has several parts to it.
[00:16:17.000]First, consent is ongoing,
[00:16:19.000]meaning that anyone can revoke
[00:16:21.320]their consent
[00:16:22.000]or change their mind at any
[00:16:23.670]time,
[00:16:24.000]even if sexual activity has
[00:16:26.150]already begun.
[00:16:27.000]Consent is freely given,
[00:16:29.000]meaning consent cannot be given
[00:16:31.000]under manipulation,
[00:16:32.000]pressure, guilt-tripping, or
[00:16:34.190]threat.
[00:16:35.000]Consent is specific.
[00:16:37.000]For example, consenting to
[00:16:38.810]kissing
[00:16:39.000]does not mean there has been
[00:16:41.000]consent given for oral sex.
[00:16:42.000]Consent is informed,
[00:16:44.000]meaning that a person is
[00:16:45.400]informed
[00:16:46.000]about what will happen during
[00:16:47.680]sexual activities.
[00:16:49.000]If someone consents to having
[00:16:50.740]sex
[00:16:51.000]while using a condom,
[00:16:53.000]and then the other person
[00:16:54.000]removes the condom during sex
[00:16:56.000]or doesn't use a condom,
[00:16:58.000]then the interaction is no
[00:16:59.130]longer consensual,
[00:17:00.000]as the other party is not
[00:17:02.210]adequately informed
[00:17:03.000]about what is happening.
[00:17:05.000]Consent is enthusiastic.
[00:17:08.000]Consent is about wanting to do
[00:17:09.430]something,
[00:17:10.000]either for oneself or one's
[00:17:12.490]partner.
[00:17:13.000]And consent is not about
[00:17:15.000]feeling like you should
[00:17:16.000]or have to do something.
[00:17:18.000]If a yes doesn't sound
[00:17:19.180]enthusiastic,
[00:17:20.000]that is a good time to check in
[00:17:22.000]and ensure that someone isn't
[00:17:23.200]feeling pressured.
[00:17:24.000]All four are alternatives,
[00:17:26.000]like saying it's okay if you've
[00:17:28.410]changed your mind
[00:17:29.000]or don't want to do this.
[00:17:31.000]Want to watch a movie instead?
[00:17:33.000]All this means is that you can
[00:17:35.340]give consent
[00:17:36.000]and revoke your consent at any
[00:17:37.820]time.
[00:17:39.000]Now let's discuss healthy
[00:17:41.030]masculinity,
[00:17:42.000]which is basically the opposite
[00:17:44.050]of toxic masculinity.
[00:17:46.000]Healthy masculinity identifies,
[00:17:48.000]confronts,
[00:17:49.000]and denies the toxic
[00:17:50.490]masculinity
[00:17:51.000]underlining harmful masculine
[00:17:52.450]stereotypes and expectations.
[00:17:56.000]As we strengthen healthy
[00:17:57.290]masculinity,
[00:17:58.000]there are five tenets that we
[00:17:59.490]want to build upon.
[00:18:01.000]The first is awareness,
[00:18:02.000]meaning to be aware that many
[00:18:03.460]masculine stereotypes
[00:18:04.000]and pressures are rooted in
[00:18:05.810]toxic masculinity,
[00:18:08.000]which affects not just you,
[00:18:09.000]but everyone else around you.
[00:18:11.000]For example,
[00:18:12.000]let's say you have another male
[00:18:13.590]friend.
[00:18:15.000]In this friendship,
[00:18:16.000]it would be important to
[00:18:17.180]recognize
[00:18:18.000]the toxic masculinity that is
[00:18:19.390]impacting your relationship
[00:18:21.000]and both of you as individuals.
[00:18:23.000]So that also means being aware
[00:18:25.000]that you can choose to build
[00:18:26.490]towards healthier masculinity.
[00:18:29.000]Our second is connection.
[00:18:31.000]Once you have identified the
[00:18:32.330]role of toxic masculinity
[00:18:34.000]in your relationships,
[00:18:35.000]you can work to remove its
[00:18:36.890]influence.
[00:18:38.000]For example,
[00:18:39.000]you can ensure that your
[00:18:40.380]relationships with women
[00:18:41.000]and feminine people are that of
[00:18:43.030]equals.
[00:18:44.000]Additionally,
[00:18:45.000]you can reach out to your male
[00:18:46.510]friends
[00:18:47.000]so that they can actively check
[00:18:48.600]on them
[00:18:49.000]in efforts to build connection.
[00:18:51.000]Our third is accountability,
[00:18:53.000]which refers to approaching
[00:18:54.640]things
[00:18:55.000]with nonjudgmental curiosity
[00:18:57.000]and being open to feedback.
[00:18:59.000]Let's say a friend tells you
[00:19:01.000]you did something that hurt his
[00:19:02.380]feelings.
[00:19:03.000]Approach what he says with
[00:19:04.300]curiosity
[00:19:05.000]rather than taking on toxic
[00:19:06.840]assumptions.
[00:19:08.000]Then be open to feedback
[00:19:10.000]and take your friend seriously
[00:19:12.000]and apologize without defensiveness.
[00:19:14.000]Our fourth tenet, empathy,
[00:19:16.000]involves seeing the struggles
[00:19:17.510]of others
[00:19:18.000]and finding a commonality in co-feeling.
[00:19:21.000]If your friend is telling you
[00:19:22.000]his day went poorly,
[00:19:23.000]try thinking about how that
[00:19:25.280]would feel for him.
[00:19:26.000]Do your best and not to just
[00:19:28.270]understanding how he's feeling,
[00:19:29.000]but sharing those feelings with
[00:19:30.780]him.
[00:19:32.000]And our last tenet is
[00:19:33.120]solidarity.
[00:19:34.000]This is about unifying
[00:19:36.000]and mutually supporting each
[00:19:37.650]other
[00:19:38.000]from shared goals and struggles.
[00:19:40.000]For example,
[00:19:41.000]knowing that you and many of
[00:19:42.600]your other male friends
[00:19:44.000]are affected by toxic
[00:19:44.560]masculinity,
[00:19:45.000]connect you.
[00:19:47.000]Recognize that their struggles
[00:19:49.000]are yours as well.
[00:19:50.000]Let that be a motivator
[00:19:52.000]in making changes to your
[00:19:53.400]masculinity framework.
[00:19:55.000]Other ways to make changes in
[00:19:58.070]your masculinity framework
[00:19:59.000]is through the relationships
[00:20:00.990]with other men in your life.
[00:20:02.000]Don't be afraid to check in.
[00:20:04.000]Actively listen and be a
[00:20:06.000]comforting support system for
[00:20:06.780]them.
[00:20:07.000]Additionally, you can show your
[00:20:08.720]support
[00:20:09.000]through vocalization or action.
[00:20:11.000]You can say something like,
[00:20:13.000]"That sounds difficult,
[00:20:14.000]but you know I'm here for you
[00:20:15.000]if you need anything."
[00:20:17.000]And as you may know,
[00:20:18.000]it can be difficult to ask for
[00:20:19.690]help,
[00:20:20.000]so you can take it one step
[00:20:21.590]further
[00:20:22.000]by initiating your supportive
[00:20:23.610]action,
[00:20:24.000]whether that be getting them a
[00:20:25.630]treat
[00:20:26.000]or spending some extra time
[00:20:27.330]with them.
[00:20:28.000]Modeling what you want in your
[00:20:30.310]relationships
[00:20:31.000]through healthy masculinity
[00:20:33.000]can make those around you more
[00:20:34.260]comfortable
[00:20:35.000]with the behavior you're
[00:20:36.250]supporting.
[00:20:37.000]Now, it's understandable to
[00:20:38.540]feel intimidated by this,
[00:20:40.000]and maybe you need more time
[00:20:41.000]before engaging with others
[00:20:43.000]in a healthy and supportive way,
[00:20:45.000]so let's discuss ways you can
[00:20:47.480]be there for yourself.
[00:20:49.000]One of the best ways to do this
[00:20:51.070]is by creating a toolkit
[00:20:52.000]that can help increase your
[00:20:53.320]emotional intelligence
[00:20:55.000]and emotional regulation.
[00:20:57.000]This essentially is a toolbox
[00:20:59.000]for our mental health,
[00:21:00.000]filled with tips and strategies
[00:21:02.020]to help us identify,
[00:21:03.000]process, and cope with distressing
[00:21:05.320]emotions.
[00:21:06.000]This can be especially
[00:21:07.340]important for men who have been
[00:21:09.000]told
[00:21:09.000]that they are not able to cry
[00:21:11.000]or outwardly show their
[00:21:12.000]emotions,
[00:21:12.000]and instead have been socialized
[00:21:15.000]to believe
[00:21:15.000]that anger is the only allowable
[00:21:17.160]emotion.
[00:21:18.000]Having some tools under your
[00:21:19.690]belt in these times
[00:21:21.000]of heightened emotions and
[00:21:22.560]stress
[00:21:23.000]can help better your overall
[00:21:24.270]well-being.
[00:21:25.000]Remember, the goal is not to
[00:21:26.690]control our emotions,
[00:21:28.000]but to manage them in a way
[00:21:30.000]that makes it easier
[00:21:31.000]to move forward with our lives.
[00:21:33.000]Our first tool is identifying
[00:21:36.000]the emotions we are feeling.
[00:21:38.000]Identifying emotions can be
[00:21:39.690]difficult for anyone,
[00:21:41.000]but especially for men as they
[00:21:43.310]are less likely allowed
[00:21:44.000]to feel various emotions.
[00:21:46.000]Using a feelings wheel can be a
[00:21:48.290]great way to help with this
[00:21:49.000]and expand our knowledge on the
[00:21:51.380]many emotions we feel.
[00:21:53.000]So as you can see in the center,
[00:21:55.000]we have some basic emotions
[00:21:56.560]listed,
[00:21:57.000]and as you go outside the
[00:21:58.520]center,
[00:21:59.000]the emotions become more
[00:22:00.290]specific.
[00:22:01.000]So let's try this out.
[00:22:03.000]Let's say that I'm starting to
[00:22:04.920]feel something.
[00:22:06.000]I don't really know what it is,
[00:22:08.040]but I'm feeling pretty down.
[00:22:09.000]So maybe I start with sad.
[00:22:10.000]Then I see the word hurt,
[00:22:12.000]and I resonate with that more.
[00:22:14.000]And then I go even further,
[00:22:16.000]and I see disappointed,
[00:22:17.000]and I relate to that even more.
[00:22:19.000]Then I'm able to identify what
[00:22:21.200]I'm really feeling is
[00:22:22.110]disappointment.
[00:22:23.000]A lot of these emotions under
[00:22:24.760]sad
[00:22:25.000]are emotions that men are not
[00:22:27.300]allowed to feel
[00:22:28.000]or express under toxic
[00:22:29.180]masculinity.
[00:22:30.000]So of course it can be
[00:22:31.290]difficult to get to identify
[00:22:33.000]what it is that you're actually
[00:22:34.500]feeling.
[00:22:35.000]Using something like a feelings
[00:22:36.670]wheel
[00:22:37.000]can really help in getting
[00:22:38.440]familiar
[00:22:39.000]with yourself and your emotions.
[00:22:42.000]As we discussed before,
[00:22:44.000]many men are socialized to
[00:22:45.220]believe that anger
[00:22:46.000]is one of the only acceptable
[00:22:48.000]emotions to express,
[00:22:49.000]while other emotions such as
[00:22:51.480]sadness or insecurity
[00:22:53.000]are labeled as weak and
[00:22:54.240]strongly discouraged.
[00:22:56.000]Anger is often seen as a way to
[00:22:58.360]assert dominance
[00:22:59.000]or feel in control and less
[00:23:00.900]vulnerable.
[00:23:02.000]But anger is often a response
[00:23:04.000]to other underlining emotions.
[00:23:05.000]This is why anger is frequently
[00:23:06.590]referred to
[00:23:08.000]as a secondary emotion,
[00:23:10.000]as it rarely stands alone.
[00:23:12.000]As you can see,
[00:23:13.000]this is illustrated here on the
[00:23:15.250]anger iceberg.
[00:23:16.000]We have anger at the tip of the
[00:23:18.330]iceberg.
[00:23:19.000]This is what is being expressed
[00:23:20.000]to the outside world.
[00:23:22.000]But at the bottom below,
[00:23:23.000]the water if you will,
[00:23:25.000]there are these emotions and
[00:23:26.430]needs
[00:23:27.000]that are masked by the anger.
[00:23:29.000]It is important that we further
[00:23:31.010]explore within ourselves
[00:23:32.000]to fully understand what it is
[00:23:34.000]that we are feeling or need.
[00:23:36.000]Some management
[00:23:37.000]we could do for anger is
[00:23:39.000]countdown from 10 before
[00:23:40.610]responding,
[00:23:41.000]go for a walk or take a break,
[00:23:44.000]deep breathing,
[00:23:45.000]a cold shower,
[00:23:46.000]or some kind of physical
[00:23:47.420]activity.
[00:23:49.000]Once we have identified the
[00:23:51.300]emotion or emotions,
[00:23:53.000]we want to accept what it is
[00:23:55.000]that we are feeling.
[00:23:56.000]Like we discussed,
[00:23:57.000]there are many emotions that
[00:23:58.570]are not socially acceptable
[00:24:00.000]for men to express due to toxic
[00:24:01.960]masculinity.
[00:24:03.000]So that can make it extremely
[00:24:05.180]difficult to be okay
[00:24:06.000]with what it is that you're
[00:24:07.700]actually feeling.
[00:24:09.000]It is so important that you
[00:24:10.280]become comfortable
[00:24:11.000]with feeling uncomfortable
[00:24:13.000]so that you can effectively
[00:24:14.000]feel and move forward.
[00:24:16.000]For example,
[00:24:17.000]let's say I'm a man
[00:24:18.000]and I go through the feelings
[00:24:19.140]world
[00:24:20.000]to identify that I'm lonely.
[00:24:22.000]And at first I'm thinking,
[00:24:23.000]well, I'm a man.
[00:24:24.000]I need to be self-sufficient.
[00:24:25.000]I need to be strong on my own
[00:24:27.000]without anyone.
[00:24:28.000]So as a result,
[00:24:29.000]I isolate myself.
[00:24:31.000]But then that doesn't help
[00:24:32.000]because as I mentioned,
[00:24:33.000]I'm feeling lonely.
[00:24:35.000]So instead I need to tell
[00:24:36.500]myself
[00:24:37.000]that it's okay that I'm feeling
[00:24:38.680]lonely
[00:24:39.000]regardless of whether I have a
[00:24:40.780]pinpoint reason.
[00:24:43.000]So once we can identify and
[00:24:44.380]accept what we are feeling,
[00:24:46.000]we can then figure out ways to
[00:24:48.160]manage that emotions.
[00:24:50.000]The first method is for stress
[00:24:51.980]management.
[00:24:53.000]Stress can exasperate other
[00:24:54.460]emotions such as anger
[00:24:56.000]and make them more difficult to
[00:24:57.490]cope with.
[00:24:58.000]By identifying ways to cope
[00:24:59.380]with stress,
[00:25:01.000]the severity of other emotions
[00:25:02.870]may be reduced.
[00:25:04.000]So first we want to look at the
[00:25:05.710]ways
[00:25:06.000]to cope with stress in the long
[00:25:07.680]term
[00:25:08.000]by implementing prevention
[00:25:10.210]strategies
[00:25:11.000]such as maintaining a regular
[00:25:13.160]sleep schedule,
[00:25:14.000]engaging in regular physical
[00:25:15.510]activity and food intake,
[00:25:17.000]making consistent intentional
[00:25:18.820]time for our hobbies,
[00:25:21.000]engaging in regular social
[00:25:22.460]activity
[00:25:23.000]with comfortable safe friends
[00:25:24.450]and family,
[00:25:25.000]and consuming caffeine in
[00:25:26.870]moderation.
[00:25:28.000]The second part of stress
[00:25:29.400]management
[00:25:30.000]is learning how to relieve
[00:25:31.550]stress as it arises.
[00:25:33.000]Some strategies include
[00:25:35.080]intentional breathing.
[00:25:37.000]So this doesn't necessarily
[00:25:38.730]mean deep breathing,
[00:25:40.000]but just paying attention to
[00:25:41.380]your breath,
[00:25:42.000]how the air is flowing through
[00:25:43.460]your nose,
[00:25:44.000]down your throat and into your
[00:25:45.950]chest and lungs,
[00:25:47.000]then out can be very helpful.
[00:25:50.000]We can also go outside or move
[00:25:52.000]to a calmer environment,
[00:25:53.000]go to the gym or exercise,
[00:25:55.000]yoga, massage your hands,
[00:25:57.000]play with a pet, listen to
[00:25:59.050]music,
[00:26:00.000]talk to a friend, walk, take a
[00:26:02.000]shower,
[00:26:02.000]and engage in your senses in
[00:26:04.070]some way.
[00:26:05.000]You can also engage whatever
[00:26:07.290]makes you feel at peace
[00:26:08.000]or provides you with some kind
[00:26:10.000]of satisfaction and/or joy.
[00:26:12.000]Another way to cope with stress,
[00:26:15.000]anger,
[00:26:15.000]and other difficult emotions
[00:26:17.000]is progressive muscle
[00:26:18.770]relaxation.
[00:26:20.000]In this exercise, you start at
[00:26:21.750]the bottom of your body,
[00:26:23.000]then move your way up.
[00:26:24.000]So the first step would be
[00:26:26.120]curling and squeezing your toes
[00:26:27.000]while inhaling and then
[00:26:28.880]releasing that tension while
[00:26:30.380]exhaling.
[00:26:31.000]Then you do the same contract,
[00:26:33.000]inhale and release exhale
[00:26:34.580]pattern up your body.
[00:26:36.000]So you'd move from your toes to
[00:26:38.160]your calves,
[00:26:39.000]to your quadriceps, to your
[00:26:40.910]abdomen,
[00:26:42.000]to your fingers, your biceps,
[00:26:43.990]your neck,
[00:26:45.000]and then your facial muscles
[00:26:47.000]around your mouth and eyebrows.
[00:26:49.000]You can do this in any position
[00:26:51.000]and you don't need to take a
[00:26:52.710]long time with it.
[00:26:54.000]You can even just focus on body
[00:26:55.640]parts
[00:26:56.000]where you feel stressed if you're
[00:26:57.970]short on time.
[00:26:59.000]This can be especially helpful
[00:27:00.000]for sleep as well,
[00:27:01.000]since it physically relaxes the
[00:27:03.390]muscles in your body.
[00:27:06.000]Another coping strategy could
[00:27:08.290]be a mood chart,
[00:27:09.000]as they can help you be aware
[00:27:11.000]of patterns in your emotions,
[00:27:13.000]what provokes different
[00:27:14.440]feelings
[00:27:15.000]and what works as far as coping
[00:27:17.050]with them.
[00:27:18.000]There are many free and paid
[00:27:19.690]apps that can be helpful.
[00:27:21.000]Some mood tracking apps include
[00:27:23.000]DailyO, How We Feel, and DailyBean.
[00:27:26.000]In these apps, you can chart
[00:27:27.560]your mood over time
[00:27:29.000]to get a sense of what often
[00:27:30.510]correlates with your emotions.
[00:27:32.000]For example, you may notice
[00:27:34.000]that worse moods occur
[00:27:35.000]on the days you have an early
[00:27:36.610]class,
[00:27:37.000]which can inform you that you
[00:27:38.300]may need more sleep
[00:27:39.000]or may need a later class time
[00:27:40.840]in the future.
[00:27:42.000]A great journaling app is
[00:27:43.810]called Stoic.
[00:27:45.000]It offers you prompts in the
[00:27:46.610]morning and evening,
[00:27:48.000]and you can complete other
[00:27:49.220]journaling prompts at any time.
[00:27:51.000]Some overall mental health apps
[00:27:53.000]that provide various coping
[00:27:55.380]skills/ideas
[00:27:56.000]include MindShift, CBT,
[00:27:58.000]MoodTools, Headspace, and MoodFit.
[00:28:01.000]Headspace is also full of
[00:28:02.620]guided meditations.
[00:28:05.000]Remember, asking for help does
[00:28:07.740]not make you less of a man.
[00:28:09.000]Understand that you are not
[00:28:11.450]alone in your struggles,
[00:28:12.000]and that you are not defined by
[00:28:14.230]whatever problem it is
[00:28:15.000]that you are facing.
[00:28:17.000]When you ask for help,
[00:28:18.000]you're combating the stigma
[00:28:19.000]that men can't ask for help
[00:28:21.000]and that they need to be facing
[00:28:22.680]everything alone.
[00:28:24.000]Listed below are some campus
[00:28:25.470]resources available
[00:28:27.000]to UNL students regarding their
[00:28:29.050]mental health.
[00:28:30.000]We have CAPS,
[00:28:31.000]the University's Means Counseling
[00:28:32.630]Center,
[00:28:33.000]where UNL students have access
[00:28:35.000]to free individual and group
[00:28:36.280]counseling.
[00:28:37.000]CAPS also offers a 24/7 crisis
[00:28:40.600]line
[00:28:41.000]at 402-472-7450,
[00:28:45.000]and then press "4" at the menu.
[00:28:47.000]Then we have the UNL Counseling
[00:28:49.010]and School Psychology Clinic
[00:28:51.000]at the UNL Psychological
[00:28:53.120]Consultation Center,
[00:28:55.000]which also offers
[00:28:56.000]individual counseling for UNL
[00:28:58.460]students at low cost.
[00:29:00.000]Additionally, you can request
[00:29:01.000]UNL REACH suicide prevention
[00:29:03.250]training
[00:29:04.000]for your fraternity, residence
[00:29:05.890]hall floor,
[00:29:07.000]student group, and other groups.
[00:29:09.000]Also listed here are two
[00:29:11.150]national resources:
[00:29:12.000]the National Suicidal Hotline,
[00:29:14.000]for which you can dial 988,
[00:29:17.000]and the National Crisis Text
[00:29:18.720]Line,
[00:29:19.000]which can be reached by texting
[00:29:21.130]HOME to 741741.
[00:29:25.000]Here are other references cited
[00:29:28.000]on this presentation
[00:29:29.000]if you would like to look at
[00:29:30.400]these sources more in detail.
[00:29:33.000]You are welcome to leave
[00:29:35.120]feedback
[00:29:36.000]about this presentation using
[00:29:37.550]this QR code.
[00:29:39.000]Additionally, here is our
[00:29:40.320]contact information,
[00:29:41.000]including our website, email,
[00:29:43.430]Facebook, Instagram,
[00:29:44.000]physical office numbers, and
[00:29:46.250]office phone numbers.
[00:29:48.000]Thank you for tuning in.
[00:29:50.000]We really hope that you learned
[00:29:52.000]something
[00:29:52.000]from this presentation,
[00:29:54.000]and we hope to see you again
[00:29:56.000]at one of our future events or
[00:29:57.220]presentations.

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Men and Masculinity

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