Writing Personal Statements and Leadership Essays

Courtney Santos Author

07/11/2025 Added

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Spark creativity and get started with your writing! Master the art of crafting compelling and effective personal statements for graduate school and fellowship applications! This hands-on workshop, led by Courtney Santos, Director, Undergraduate Research & Fellowships, will provide strategies for writing effective personal statements as well as exercises for unlocking your creativity and originality in the writing process.

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[00:01:12.200]Courtney Santos: Hey?
[00:01:15.570]Courtney Santos: Pulling everybody in the waiting room. Here.
[00:01:24.620]Courtney Santos: there we go, all right. Hello, everyone, and welcome to fellowships Fridays. It is great to have you with us. I am
[00:01:34.400]Courtney Santos: so glad it's Friday, and so glad you are here.
[00:01:38.042]Courtney Santos: We'll be talking today about essays. This is sort of the second part of our fellowships. Friday focus on essays. Last week we did statements of purpose and project proposals. And today we will be talking about writing personal statements and leadership essays. And so we will be doing a pretty deep dive on how to be creative.
[00:01:57.610]Courtney Santos: I wanted to tell you, upfront that this one involves some activities that we will do live together. It is meant to be more of a hands-on workshop. And so it would be a good idea
[00:02:09.550]Courtney Santos: if you have a piece of paper or a second device, maybe, or a second screen, and you want to pull up like a blank word document or something like that, because you're going to probably need that a little bit later in the presentation.
[00:02:25.400]Courtney Santos: All right, I'm Courtney Sentos. I'm the director of undergraduate research and fellowships. If you're here for Ucare. Hello! We're automatically recording your attendance for your event requirements, and it is good to see you again, and if you are new welcome. So glad to have you here.
[00:02:45.568]Courtney Santos: I'm gonna dive right into some of our objectives for today's workshop.
[00:02:51.161]Courtney Santos: If you have questions you can drop them in the chat while I'm talking, and I'll pause every now and then for questions. So today we're really going to be thinking about you know the conventions of writing for these essays, so that you can put your most
[00:03:06.830]Courtney Santos: effective, persuasive foot forward in fellowships, application competitions, graduate school admissions, and all the other places where you might need a personal statement. So I think about like study abroad, right? Sometimes they'll ask for one of these essays as well.
[00:03:23.690]Courtney Santos: I think it's important to kind of kick things off by understanding that these essays serve a purpose. This is not busy work. It is not arbitrary that these essays are being asked for, because the selection process involves understanding you as a person more deeply right. And so we'll think about the ways in which you can use the structure of a personal narrative essay to really help those reviewers understand you right and use
[00:03:52.390]Courtney Santos: that structure strategically. We're also going to look at genre conventions, right? The differences between personal statements and maybe similar narrative essays like leadership essays, or even some elements of statements of purpose. Right? And so you really want to be able to make distinctions, especially when you are writing an application that might require multiple essays and make sure you're having that distinct focus for each component of your application.
[00:04:19.200]Courtney Santos: we will also be talking about storytelling. I am a creative writing person. I did a master's previously in this area. And I absolutely love being creative. But that's not for everybody, right? And so we're going to be sharing some tips that can help you get started. Even if you've
[00:04:38.120]Courtney Santos: always kind of disliked creative writing. That's okay. We're also going to talk about rhetoric, right? The art of effective communication and making appeals to the reviewers so that they are drawn into your story.
[00:04:51.622]Courtney Santos: And then finally, definitely going to be doing some brainstorming today, thinking about themes and experiences in your life, so that you can generate effective and persuasive content for those essays.
[00:05:03.470]Courtney Santos: All right. So what are personal statements and leadership essays? And here I want to think about the ways in which we can sort of distinguish these from other types of essays. Right? So personal statement is definitely in the storytelling genre. Right? It tells the story of who you are. It brings people in pretty close and lets them know what experiences or influences on your life have shaped your interest
[00:05:28.040]Courtney Santos: right? It is a past facing essay that brings us up to the present as well. So I think it's useful to think about it that way.
[00:05:36.940]Courtney Santos: A leadership essay, though, is more targeted, whereas personal statement is looking at the whole person.
[00:05:42.710]Courtney Santos: or at least the whole of your scholarly or professional life. Maybe.
[00:05:47.632]Courtney Santos: The leadership essay is going to be looking specifically at attributes like team leadership, right? So the type of influence that you exercise on others the ways in which you take initiative, the ways in which you have a positive impact, and maybe we can even make that measurable or observable make it concrete, right?
[00:06:10.300]Courtney Santos: What they have in common, since they both tell some aspect of story is that they're giving us a deeper view of you, of your world.
[00:06:21.016]Courtney Santos: Your trajectory right, the motion and direction of your life from your perspective.
[00:06:29.110]Courtney Santos: So it lets us see how you make decisions. Maybe at critical moments.
[00:06:36.481]Courtney Santos: What beliefs values, philosophies might shape those decisions. Right? So it's very much centered in you and who you are and how that plays out in terms of action.
[00:06:51.980]Courtney Santos: Both of these essays are very common, as I said before, in fellowship and graduate school applications, but you might see them in other places as well.
[00:07:00.420]Courtney Santos: So when we think about these in contrast to other types of application essays, you know again, the personal statement, the time focus is really on the past experience, and usually the leadership essay is too
[00:07:12.828]Courtney Santos: though I would draw the distinction that a personal statement often has several past experiences, at least 2 to 3 right leadership essay, probably going to be one anecdote probably going to be a shorter word count or page limit on this because they want you to analyze a single example pretty deeply
[00:07:32.050]Courtney Santos: right?
[00:07:34.450]Courtney Santos: now, a statement of purpose. When we're thinking about the time focus, it's going to be on future plans
[00:07:40.540]Courtney Santos: right? It's going to be on the things you want to do in the future. It's kind of a proposal, right? As we get closer to a specific project proposal, then also going to be on future plans. Right? So those also have sort of a nice pairing there. We talked about those in depth last week, the recording is available online.
[00:08:01.800]Courtney Santos: now, as far as the focus of these essays. So now here we're thinking about, you know, like what themes are we trying to draw out right? Which sort of shape should we give this essay?
[00:08:14.910]Courtney Santos: personal statement is going to highlight aspects, maybe, of your background or your identity, maybe your values, beliefs. Maybe some key moments on your journey in your life. Right?
[00:08:28.430]Courtney Santos: a leadership essay. It's going to look more at interaction with others things like taking initiative. You know, when you're presented with a problem, how do you act and make that decision to act? Maybe it's going to be looking at team relations.
[00:08:44.540]Courtney Santos: So whether you are, you know, the president of an organization, or whether you lead more from behind, how do you interact with others and persuade them to work together with you on a common goal?
[00:08:56.890]Courtney Santos: And so that really speaks to things like influence? Right? What are the ways in which you maybe directly and intentionally, or even passively, influence people right? So passive could be something like, you know.
[00:09:10.830]Courtney Santos: subtle ways in which you exercise influence, such as being a role model for others, right? Whereas active influence probably going to be, you're more attempting to persuade. It's very intentional, right. Maybe you are providing people with information, targeting them with a message.
[00:09:28.960]Courtney Santos: Right? So so bear that in mind as well, I think about like training or tutoring as ways in which that active influence often really comes out. Certainly in advocacy as well.
[00:09:42.850]Courtney Santos: statements of purpose going to focus on graduate study goals usually very much focus on study. That would also be true. For like study abroad
[00:09:53.220]Courtney Santos: programs or other things that you might be applying for right. So it's very focused on. You know, what are the steps? What are the particular things in this program that I want to achieve
[00:10:02.520]Courtney Santos: project proposal going to look very closely at an academic problem and methods of exploring that problem. Right? So it's going to be more like a research or creative proposal. We're going to be looking at things a lot more in depth.
[00:10:17.400]Courtney Santos: But it's very focused on the academic topic, right? So you can really see how the 1st 2, the personal statement and leadership essay here are very personal in nature, right? And the statement of purpose and the project proposal are a lot more academic
[00:10:33.060]Courtney Santos: in their focus.
[00:10:34.700]Courtney Santos: Right?
[00:10:36.860]Courtney Santos: And then I think there's also big tone shifts. You know. It's still going to sound like you across all the different essays. It's all going to be in your voice, your writing style, right? But think of this more like kind of like the mood, right? That you're trying to pull people into. So in the personal statement. Ideally, we're in a reflective kind of a tone. Right? You know, we're engaged in a story. Maybe we're kind of immersed. There might be some creative elements like
[00:11:05.707]Courtney Santos: you know, richly describing a setting or things like that, right
[00:11:10.590]Courtney Santos: in a leadership essay, probably going to be more focused on action. Right? Again, if we're taking initiative right? Then there's probably a problem that we're trying to solve right? You know, or an outcome that we're trying to get to right? So it's still gonna be a story. But it's probably going to be a very driven and purposeful sort of story.
[00:11:36.160]Courtney Santos: Statement of purpose is going to take a really scholarly tone, and that would be true of the project or research proposal as well. I think the big difference here is that statement of purpose is going to link graduate school to career, and so really be telling a kind of professional narrative
[00:11:54.120]Courtney Santos: that way, whereas a project or research proposal is going to get really technical and procedural. It might even include figures or diagrams that are showing us a step by step process or charts, right? So depending on the format that they allow you to have. It might look a lot more like a technical report, or something like that except that it's a future plan instead of A past report right?
[00:12:22.850]Courtney Santos: Oh, thanks for the feedback, Lauren. I'm glad I'm glad this is helpful. Okay? So we really dug in on those genre conventions. So let's talk about why these essays matter right? So why are we going through this exercise? Why are they making us do this?
[00:12:34.430]Courtney Santos: I think one of the biggest parts is just bringing the application to life right? It's very difficult to get to know someone. By reading an application on paper.
[00:12:43.870]Courtney Santos: right? And a lot of the time you're going to be applying for opportunities where maybe they don't have the opportunity to interview everybody right? And yet they still want to meet you, and they want to make sure that they're leaving no stone on unturned right. They want to make sure that they're giving you the chance to present yourself. And so you get that opportunity to think about
[00:13:03.740]Courtney Santos: how to showcase your fit with the fellowship or with the grad program or the study abroad program.
[00:13:11.060]Courtney Santos: Show how your values and your potential can be demonstrated in this new venue that you want to enter
[00:13:20.040]Courtney Santos: right? Because you get the opportunity to tell stories. You can offer richer context for your past experiences. Yes, resumes might provide some
[00:13:32.490]Courtney Santos: context. But it's all in this bullet point level. It's not experiential.
[00:13:36.850]Courtney Santos: right? These essays really allow you to put yourself on a stage. Right? Light it the way you want to right and and shed that illumination on the traits and actions that you really want people to see
[00:13:54.507]Courtney Santos: and so there's great art to it. Right? But it's a purposeful art.
[00:13:58.890]Courtney Santos: And then, finally, these are going to really pull out evidence of leadership or personal traits like resilience that fellowships really value, maybe creativity right or other things that are maybe relevant for your field right? And so again, while those bullets or list format things
[00:14:20.300]Courtney Santos: can do some of that right. This is going to really complement that in a new way with those deeper, richer stories.
[00:14:32.490]Courtney Santos: So when we're thinking about analyzing the prompts for these essays. I think one of the most important things to do is make sure you're writing a personal statement. Make sure you're writing a leadership essay, or is it a hybrid? Are they asking you for both? Right? So really making sure you understand which genre it's in, you know, if you're not sure, you can usually email somebody at the organization and double check if they like. If they haven't titled these essays, maybe it's just like essay one, and you're not sure from the prompt
[00:15:02.430]Courtney Santos: you know. Good idea to check. But most are gonna tell you to write, you know, hey? Personal statement and make that pretty clear.
[00:15:09.660]Courtney Santos: I help. But if not, you can be doing things like looking for keywords. Right? And so you know, writing about goals. Maybe that's actually a statement of purpose.
[00:15:20.010]Courtney Santos: right? Or like a career. Short answer. So double check, right? If you see challenges, they're probably asking for past experience that probably is going to fall into this storytelling area. Right? You know, evidence of impact. Right again, if we're looking at past experiences, that's probably what they're digging for.
[00:15:39.610]Courtney Santos: If they're asking you about your experience. Working with teams, right? Might be a leadership essay. But sometimes you're going to be seeing some of this kind of a blend of both, especially fellowships and grad school applications that require only one essay. They may.
[00:15:52.200]Courtney Santos: We'll kind of want you to do it all with one essay, and you'll have to think about, how do you create sort of a hybrid form in response to that prompt right, and so exercising your creativity. Think about how maybe some things might be able to start off as a personal statement, have a leadership anecdote in the middle, and then maybe there's kind of a statement of purpose at the bottom, right? Like, think about how you can structure it.
[00:16:16.166]Courtney Santos: And so in that vein, I think it's really helpful to outline your response before you write. You know whether they've broken it up into 4 prompts for you. It's all in one or whatever you know, but making sure that when you start writing you are, you know, addressing all the main parts of that prompt. So, you know, underlining or highlighting the things that you need to do, and then using those to develop those paragraphs and topics.
[00:16:44.310]Courtney Santos: for fellowships applicants, I would really urge you to revisit the official selection criteria. After you write an outline and make sure your outline is drawing out the traits that they are looking for. Right? So I think about how some fellowships. So here, maybe I'm going to pull up the Marshall scholarship as being one of these or the roads where, when they say leadership, they sure, mean team leadership.
[00:17:08.040]Courtney Santos: right? And some others might have more of an intellectual leadership like the National Science Foundation, graduate research fellowship, right? That might be training people in the lab that might be presenting at a conference right? And so a different type of leadership is occurring there, where maybe you are
[00:17:25.730]Courtney Santos: sharing knowledge with a field. Right? you know. So so do be sure that you are kind of including the specific emphasis that those selection criteria are asking for, and especially if you're going to be
[00:17:40.090]Courtney Santos: composing multiple personal statements right? It's very tempting to use the same essay for all of them, and there are only so many ways to tell your own story. This is true, right? And so you probably are going to reuse some content, but make sure you are aligning it with the prompt and with the criteria of the different things you're applying for. That would also go for students who maybe are applying to different types of graduate degree programs.
[00:18:07.660]Courtney Santos: So I think about folks who might be applying to.
[00:18:11.120]Courtney Santos: you know, comparative politics and also public policy.
[00:18:15.010]Courtney Santos: right? Or maybe you're applying to law schools. And you're also applying to joint law. And another degree program, right? So be careful to make sure that you are touching on all of the criteria for the specific opportunity, and that you are tailoring each version of your story to those criteria.
[00:18:35.830]Courtney Santos: All right. We talked a little bit about the personal, reflective tone. But kind of how do we actually demonstrate that? How is that operationalized in the writing? Right? We're going to use anecdotes
[00:18:48.540]Courtney Santos: right. We're going to bring the reader in close to a particular experience. We're going to tell
[00:18:54.750]Courtney Santos: detailed miniature stories, probably a paragraph or 2 at a time.
[00:19:00.540]Courtney Santos: We're gonna include things like setting
[00:19:03.430]Courtney Santos: right? So the environment in which this situation occurred.
[00:19:08.320]Courtney Santos: maybe we're going to include some imagery right? And make the story a bit more colorful and experiential for the reader. I really encourage students that when you are talking about interpersonal interactions of any kind that you are, including snips of dialogue as best you remember.
[00:19:25.300]Courtney Santos: Right? Sometimes students are nervous to name another human being in their essay, and will kind of want to allow that person to stay anonymous.
[00:19:33.940]Courtney Santos: My suggestion would be, you know, most people probably won't have a problem with being named. So I think about like research mentors. They're usually proud to be in your essay rather than turned off by that. But let's say it's a friend, and you know that friend's pretty private, or something like that, you know. Just give them a fake name for the purpose of the essay. Right? A pseudonym.
[00:19:54.040]Courtney Santos: Right? It is okay to include other characters it is welcomed. And for those fellowships or grad programs where interpersonal interaction is really necessary.
[00:20:04.541]Courtney Santos: You know where you are, maybe applying for things where you would work in research teams or other types of team environments. You probably need to show yourself interacting with other people so they can get a sense of your interpersonal strengths.
[00:20:19.760]Courtney Santos: As I'm saying this, you're probably recognizing this already, but it is is very different from a resume right in that we are not listing, and ideally, we would not cover every experience that you've actually had. But we would be selective, bringing particular experiences into the light that best demonstrate who you are as a person.
[00:20:42.650]Courtney Santos: So we want to be selective. I think a useful rule of thumb would be to choose 2 to 4 turning points or core experiences stuff that really stands out, and where your memory is particularly vivid, right? And so usually, there's some aspect of novelty to this right moments in life where something happened or you did something, and from that you generated new insight.
[00:21:08.560]Courtney Santos: right? Or a new way of thinking
[00:21:13.140]Courtney Santos: and and that that had some impact on you as a person, right? And so it shaped you in some way. Maybe your values maybe illuminated a new goal that you didn't realize was there or helped. You refine your plan
[00:21:26.860]Courtney Santos: right.
[00:21:28.120]Courtney Santos: Another key tactic here would be, you know, sort of cliched. But show. Don't tell right, so don't be afraid to use a little bit of dramatic technique right? Anecdotes are going to illustrate the point
[00:21:45.180]Courtney Santos: right better than just stating it outright.
[00:21:48.840]Courtney Santos: Let the reader draw some conclusions from what you write.
[00:21:54.770]Courtney Santos: rather than telling them what it means, but rather show them.
[00:21:59.710]Courtney Santos: allow them to experience the moment with you.
[00:22:03.990]Courtney Santos: So this probably means that your stories actually get longer. Right? It's quicker to tell someone what something means.
[00:22:12.920]Courtney Santos: you know. But giving them that moment to pause and take a breath and experience. Life as you did is actually a lot more rewarding has bigger payoff for these essays, and so, including those the details, even the emotions that surface right? And if you're if you don't commonly talk about your emotions, this can be hard, right, especially in a professional or an academic context.
[00:22:35.232]Courtney Santos: For some students, it's really helpful to do something like maybe get a feelings wheel which are available online.
[00:22:42.513]Courtney Santos: You know. And so these are tools where you can actually see like a list of emotions. Right? And maybe come up with more options for yourself.
[00:22:55.030]Courtney Santos: At the same time you don't have to disclose experiences that you would be uncomfortable sharing right? You are selecting nobody's forcing you to tell particular anecdotes right? So think about which ones you really are comfortable, showcasing, because those are probably moments that
[00:23:10.840]Courtney Santos: show you in your best light, and that are consistent with the narrative you want to present
[00:23:16.340]Courtney Santos: about your strengths as a person.
[00:23:20.880]Courtney Santos: I'm pausing to check the chat.
[00:23:23.710]Courtney Santos: Okay, I don't see any questions just yet, but do feel free.
[00:23:29.429]Courtney Santos: So as far as storytelling techniques, I would say that there's the star method. This is maybe familiar to some of you. If you've used this for interviewing situations. But it works here, too.
[00:23:41.660]Courtney Santos: Right? And so this is really going to put the focus on action and on your decision making processes. Right? So let's say, there's situations that occur right? So I think about, you know, maybe a student lives in a neighborhood that wants to start a community garden. A couple folks have expressed interest in that, and the student decides, you know what? That's a place where I can make a contribution. So
[00:24:09.140]Courtney Santos: we've got a situation.
[00:24:11.150]Courtney Santos: We have a task right? There's there's a variety of things that need to happen to start that garden.
[00:24:17.050]Courtney Santos: Then we have that decision to act
[00:24:19.700]Courtney Santos: right. And so walking us through that process is great.
[00:24:23.656]Courtney Santos: Then we want to know about the result
[00:24:26.950]Courtney Santos: right? When did the garden get started?
[00:24:29.780]Courtney Santos: How many people decided to contribute to this thing. Did you influence them to be a part of that right? What did that look like? Concretely? What were the outcomes right? Did the garden produce vegetables or flowers, or whatever? And how did it bring people together?
[00:24:47.770]Courtney Santos: Right? And so there might be concrete things that we're talking about? That arises outcomes. But there might also be that feeling of connectedness for a community or something like that. That's a little bit more of an indirect result. But maybe is actually the most important part right? So be sure you characterize. Why was the result meaningful?
[00:25:05.430]Courtney Santos: So doing? That reflection at the end? And then I think the other important part is, what does it mean for you as an individual? Right? So if you've been able to do this, does it root you more deeply in your community? Right? What does it tell you about yourself as a leader or contributor, those kind of things right?
[00:25:26.773]Courtney Santos: And so we want to make the actions observable. So that we can present that evidence. We want to make results observable. Right?
[00:25:37.770]Courtney Santos: So going back to that sort of principle of show. Don't tell right. So if a student tells me I'm a resilient person.
[00:25:46.320]Courtney Santos: I'm like, Oh, well, I have to take your word for it right? That's telling right. But it's not showing me. So. If somebody wants to show me, maybe they see something like, well, when our student organization lost funding. I organized funding campaign right? And this is what I specifically did for that. Now we're getting really concrete. Now, you're showing me right?
[00:26:08.050]Courtney Santos: And this is how many dollars it raised. And this is what we did with that money. This is the impact right? And so again, coming into that concreteness is going to really help here.
[00:26:23.030]Courtney Santos: All right, I see a question from Lauren.
[00:26:25.880]Courtney Santos: How specific should you be regarding ideas for projects in a statement of purpose.
[00:26:44.900]Courtney Santos: yeah.
[00:26:46.310]Courtney Santos: So this one's a little bit more kind of focus on that topic of last week's workshop, which is the statements of purpose, right? So thinking about like future plans. Right? So I would say that in a personal statement, we're mostly focused on the past, right? So stuff that we've already done.
[00:27:03.674]Courtney Santos: You know. And
[00:27:06.730]Courtney Santos: you know, in a statement of purpose, we're going to want to be really concrete with this. These plans right? But this kind of it gets to the question of selection criteria. And I think this is important to talk about with any fellowships, essay, or any graduate admissions. Essay right? How are the reviewers receiving these stories? How are they receiving proposals for future work? Right?
[00:27:31.330]Courtney Santos: And so I think you're right to be asking like.
[00:27:34.080]Courtney Santos: How do I be smart about? You know the people I'd like to work for things I'd like to do. How do I be smart about what details I reveal to my audience. Right? You're really digging in on something we're gonna
[00:27:47.048]Courtney Santos: get to in this workshop shortly, right? But I would say, think about rhetoric, right? So hang on to that. We're going to talk about rhetoric in a few minutes. Right? But audience, sensitivity.
[00:28:02.280]Courtney Santos: right? Researching your audience. What kinds of stories
[00:28:06.400]Courtney Santos: would be appealing to this audience. That's a matter of strategy. That's very, very important, right? And so you can talk to a fellowships advisor about this.
[00:28:15.530]Courtney Santos: You can talk to the writing center career coaches faculty mentors right? But also doing that homework into the organization that's either going to be funding you or admitting you right? And what do they value right? And how do your stories align with that?
[00:28:33.530]Courtney Santos: All right. Speaking of stories, I want to dig into a brainstorming activity now. So I'm going to give you all a few minutes to generate some ideas here, and, in fact, I want to invite you to use your creative strengths in the best way. So if drawing or visual representation of stuff is something you enjoy, you're going to like this one right?
[00:28:54.256]Courtney Santos: So I'm gonna encourage you to draw a timeline, or it could be a list. If you don't like drawing right of 5 to 7 life experiences
[00:29:02.850]Courtney Santos: that have shaped your goals, character or values.
[00:29:07.520]Courtney Santos: So consider personal, academic or professional experiences that you've had
[00:29:15.550]Courtney Santos: challenges or turning points in your journey. Maybe where you develop new insight, or even people that you've met or gotten to know deeply, maybe mentors who illuminated a new path
[00:29:28.720]Courtney Santos: for you.
[00:29:31.080]Courtney Santos: All right. So let's take about 5, 6 min to write.
[00:34:12.889]Courtney Santos: Okay, 1 min remaining.
[00:35:18.830]Courtney Santos: All right.
[00:35:20.190]Courtney Santos: Hopefully, that's helped you to generate some ideas just to get the ball rolling right. And so as you write different essays as you tailor them
[00:35:30.530]Courtney Santos: for different prompts.
[00:35:32.480]Courtney Santos: You can refer back to these kinds of brainstorming or mapping activities
[00:35:37.760]Courtney Santos: right? And think about what are some key moments in my life that I do want to highlight that match up with these
[00:35:44.360]Courtney Santos: selection criteria or the things that they're looking for in candidates. Like, if I know I'm applying to say medical school right? Can I pull out maybe moments of helping others? Can I pull out maybe moments where I really engage deeply with science.
[00:36:05.680]Courtney Santos: Moments where I applied knowledge from the classroom to the real world. Right? So thinking about what are the kind of skills that you might need to demonstrate or the personal traits, values, etc, right? And we're going to do some values work in a few moments here
[00:36:25.050]Courtney Santos: as well.
[00:36:27.690]Courtney Santos: but I wanted to revisit that idea of rhetorical strategies. I know Lauren had to go, but I'm going to send her the recording after
[00:36:35.070]Courtney Santos: But you know and really talk about some of these storytelling tactics. Maybe more at the philosophical level here. Right? So if you remember, rhetoric is an ancient art, right? Goes all the way all the way back to the philosophers of olden times. Right?
[00:36:54.460]Courtney Santos: you know. And so they came up with these words, ethos. It just means ethical appeals, right? It's like ancient Greek,
[00:37:04.191]Courtney Santos: you know. But it's it's really about those philosophical beliefs.
[00:37:09.924]Courtney Santos: That can help you to establish things like credibility, right? And and deeper aspects of your character. Right? And so you can highlight moments where, maybe, you know, your concept of justice was really shown of fairness. Right? Things like that right?
[00:37:32.150]Courtney Santos: you know, for students who are comfortable talking about emotions. I really encourage it. Pathos can be another very effective way to address the essay. So pathos is really going to talk about that emotional level right, and so letting your emotions resonate with the reader, and really connect with them in a way that can make them feel bonded and close to you
[00:37:59.050]Courtney Santos: right, and some people have particular talent for ethos, some have talent for pathos, some have talent for Logos, right? So feel free to balance your essay in the way that really works for you. And so.
[00:38:11.050]Courtney Santos: Logos, you would be maybe relying on your logic right? And so doing things like making a decision process
[00:38:18.960]Courtney Santos: really clear to the reader, how did you approach this right? How do the puzzle pieces of your life actually fit together? How do you fit with future goals or with goals of the organization that you're trying to join, right? Whether that's a grad program community you know, an employer, a study abroad program, or even a fellowships community, right?
[00:38:47.860]Courtney Santos: And the best issues are going to do all 3, maybe not always a 3, rd a 3, rd a 3.rd
[00:38:53.210]Courtney Santos: Right? So you can be strategic about how you balance these elements of your essays. But certainly the best essays a student is going to be open to, including all of these tactics here and there at moments where it's appropriate
[00:39:06.100]Courtney Santos: to do so right? And so there might be some experiences that you want to cover. We're really talking about the emotional impact of something is absolutely necessary, and there might be others where the logic is really going to shine.
[00:39:18.750]Courtney Santos: Right?
[00:39:22.120]Courtney Santos: All right, a lot of students want to talk about structure. I think this is important, you know, for creating emphasis on particular points to think about, you know. Kind of how does the essay proceed from beginning to end. And so a lot of students also have trouble getting started with writing. Once they get into it, the ball starts moving forward faster. Right? So I get asked this question a lot. How do I open?
[00:39:47.578]Courtney Santos: You know, I think it's really good to draw the reader in with storytelling from the get go right. So begin with a scene, immerse us in a moment, right? Or even a dilemma, a problem right? Drama. This is what readers really respond to. A lot of students want to start with a quote or something like that. And that's it's very dry. It's very cliched
[00:40:09.564]Courtney Santos: you know, instead, think about starting with action. Right?
[00:40:15.810]Courtney Santos: And so, you know, is there ways in which you can highlight a particular scene or anecdote that really demonstrates a priority for you. Right?
[00:40:27.740]Courtney Santos: Something that creates action in your life. Drive forward
[00:40:31.300]Courtney Santos: right? Then. I think that's a way more effective opening than
[00:40:37.770]Courtney Santos: telling right? If we're showing rather than telling
[00:40:42.520]Courtney Santos: Also, it should sound like you.
[00:40:44.730]Courtney Santos: right? So we're not in 3rd person. We're not describing you from the outside.
[00:40:50.100]Courtney Santos: But it should also just sound like you and your natural voice. Sometimes students get very stilted in the language that they use, and I might. We've been reading too much. Shakespeare. Okay, we gotta come. We gotta come back to modern language, right?
[00:41:04.580]Courtney Santos: it's not a technical report. It's your life. And so it should sound like you feel free to use the words that you would usually use when you are talking to another adult.
[00:41:18.390]Courtney Santos: Alright. So when we think about that sort of values, driven action. Right?
[00:41:24.700]Courtney Santos: some students, it's really easy for them to name their values. Others need a little moment of reflection. So here it is. This is your opportunity. Right? I think it's also helpful to realize that most people have hundreds of values, and you kind of have to narrow the list
[00:41:39.050]Courtney Santos: right?
[00:41:41.160]Courtney Santos: And so, you know, pick one or 2 that you really want to come across in your essay.
[00:41:49.635]Courtney Santos: Strongly right, because you can't show every facet of your personality in your life.
[00:41:56.589]Courtney Santos: On the page right? But picking one or 2 that really are going to resonate with the Fellowship agency?
[00:42:06.907]Courtney Santos: So I think about like the Udall Scholarship Foundation. I'm going to pick on them because they have kind of an interesting set of values. I'm going to pop them in the chat because they're really interesting to ponder.
[00:42:22.600]Courtney Santos: They're the only foundation with
[00:42:25.170]Courtney Santos: these stated values. Like really being a huge part of their selection. Criteria, right civility, integrity, and consensus.
[00:42:37.260]Courtney Santos: you know, that's very different from team leadership, right? But there is that emphasis on interaction with consensus, right and civility.
[00:42:45.810]Courtney Santos: So they're still asking about interpersonal right. But I think about integrity, right truthiness, potentially right. But that could also be being your authentic self.
[00:42:57.460]Courtney Santos: Right? So there's a lot of different ways to interpret values as well. And that's exactly why the story behind the value matters
[00:43:05.110]Courtney Santos: right? How are your values operationalized in your life?
[00:43:11.970]Courtney Santos: So I think it's helpful to reflect on lists like this. There are longer lists available online. So if
[00:43:17.280]Courtney Santos: you can also just add a value of your own, if it surfaces to mind.
[00:43:25.780]Courtney Santos: once you've got a value or 2 in mind that you want to highlight in your essay. That's when you're going to need to connect it to actions right? So maybe you take your map of your experiences, your timeline list.
[00:43:38.020]Courtney Santos: and then you also take your values list, and you say, where are the intersections?
[00:43:42.780]Courtney Santos: Right? So, looking at those past actions to any experiences on your timeline demonstrate a value that resonates with you. Right? And they almost certainly do. You have made decisions in your life
[00:43:56.030]Courtney Santos: based on some of these deeper
[00:43:58.000]Courtney Santos: beliefs that you hold right? But how and how can you make that clear to the reader?
[00:44:06.390]Courtney Santos: That's where the effective storytelling really lies.
[00:44:10.080]Courtney Santos: and again, not telling them necessarily, but showing them
[00:44:14.820]Courtney Santos: what it looks like to act on the value.
[00:44:18.530]Courtney Santos: The same would go for future actions right? I actually think this kind of addresses, Lawrence? Earlier question, right? You know she was asking like.
[00:44:28.050]Courtney Santos: kind of should I reveal my motivations to others? Absolutely right. You want to be applying for opportunities that are consistent with your motivations. Right? And so when you're describing future plans, whether that's at the end of a personal statement, maybe you're trying to talk about your career really, briefly at the end. Or maybe you're writing a longer statement of purpose or something, you know, how does the value shape those goals.
[00:44:55.760]Courtney Santos: That's how you personalize the goal.
[00:44:58.510]Courtney Santos: Or how does the value come out in the impact that you're trying to have? Right? And so I think about like applied sciences. Right? You know, maybe
[00:45:08.670]Courtney Santos: engineers, the literal actions that they're taking might look pretty dry. Right? We're putting stuff together. We're programming things right? We're planning out schematics.
[00:45:19.750]Courtney Santos: But the impact on the real world is often where the values are seen.
[00:45:26.990]Courtney Santos: Right? I was talking to a former student today.
[00:45:30.090]Courtney Santos: You know, who who wants to work in the energy industry has been working there and really seeing the applications of his work.
[00:45:38.013]Courtney Santos: On on energy, right, and the ways in which that shapes things for the community like, you know, safe generation of power.
[00:45:47.510]Courtney Santos: right or sustainability.
[00:45:50.939]Courtney Santos: So there can be an impact. That's
[00:45:56.270]Courtney Santos: you know, quantifiable. Or it could be qualitative. Right? So like, let's say that we, you know, improve security for nuclear plants. You know, we might be able to put that in numbers fewer breaches, or something like that. You know. But maybe we also put it in peace of mind for the community.
[00:46:15.560]Courtney Santos: right? And so that could be a qualitative impact.
[00:46:22.010]Courtney Santos: Okay? So when we're concluding the essay conclusions, maybe even are more difficult than openings for some students. You know, I think it's helpful to think about the fact that you are kind of presenting an argument about yourself through a personal narrative, right? Especially because we're doing things like including values and themes. You know. And so you can use the conclusion to reinforce those messages right? And so kind of revisit them in a new way.
[00:46:49.850]Courtney Santos: you know, connect back to opening moments like thinking about like, if we're opening dramatically. Are we closing dramatically? Right?
[00:46:58.710]Courtney Santos: I think another possibility is just tying all the loose ends together. Right? You know, especially if you've chosen to talk about multiple values, multiple anecdotes right? And so now, how can we see how those are creating a trajectory for you
[00:47:13.040]Courtney Santos: going forward? So sometimes students turn toward talking about the future at the end. You know, maybe saying I've had all these disparate experiences.
[00:47:22.480]Courtney Santos: And then this is how they've shaped my current goals.
[00:47:27.120]Courtney Santos: My current career path, or or or the direction that I'm taking with graduate study?
[00:47:34.310]Courtney Santos: you know, maybe for researchers. This is how they've shaped a research topic of interest or you know, a connection I want to make with a particular research community. If we're going abroad, maybe they've illuminated. Why, that abroad experience is necessary.
[00:47:51.160]Courtney Santos: Right?
[00:47:53.550]Courtney Santos: so I think there's a couple different possibilities for concluding an essay. Well, I would say, with fellowships, it does often take that turn toward the future, for sure, because you're trying to use your personal statement, maybe to then contextualize a proposal for future work.
[00:48:12.525]Courtney Santos: So think about that. It's kind of like what it? What
[00:48:16.640]Courtney Santos: what purpose is this to say? Serving
[00:48:19.330]Courtney Santos: to provide context for what I'm applying to do?
[00:48:24.230]Courtney Santos: And then that should shape those decisions about the conclusion.
[00:48:29.740]Courtney Santos: So it is a good idea to link to other application materials. Maybe even sometimes think about the personal statement as a good companion piece like a cover letter a little bit in that. It is explaining who you are and why you do what you do right, or why you're drawn, maybe to this particular opportunity.
[00:48:48.100]Courtney Santos: Statement of purpose probably gonna focus on that future work a lot more in depth.
[00:48:54.380]Courtney Santos: Definitely going to say why this program or opportunity, but it's going to get pretty concrete about what you want to do next.
[00:49:01.100]Courtney Santos: And then keeping tone and themes fairly consistent across the 2 right personal statement, probably more reflective. Right? But they're probably both going to be in a fairly formal adult tone again, fairly natural voice across the 2. So they know it's you, and not chatgpt that wrote this essay, but that it's authentic to who you are.
[00:49:23.680]Courtney Santos: Common pitfalls that come up with these essays, I would say, overusing generalities.
[00:49:29.150]Courtney Santos: platitudes. Right? So this would be, you know, kind of broad statements.
[00:49:36.110]Courtney Santos: I want to help others. I want to cure cancer.
[00:49:40.734]Courtney Santos: Let's kind of move beyond that and be more specific, not so broad.
[00:49:45.200]Courtney Santos: Right?
[00:49:47.040]Courtney Santos: I loved actually the example that Lauren included. I have an interest in studying bacteriophages as an alternative to pesticides.
[00:49:54.760]Courtney Santos: Right? You know, that's very specific. Right? I would say. That's better.
[00:49:59.996]Courtney Santos: Lack of narrative flow.
[00:50:02.710]Courtney Santos: so it can be difficult for readers to follow an essay. If there's big leaps backward and forward in time that can be really cool in a movie. It's hard to do in an essay. I probably wouldn't recommend doing it more often we're going to see chronological flow, especially in a personal statement, right?
[00:50:24.810]Courtney Santos: Earlier life experiences. First, st
[00:50:27.772]Courtney Santos: repeating, your resume is a big one, just trying to cover too much, usually and thus repeating everything
[00:50:36.110]Courtney Santos: also in insufficient depth, not really doing the storytelling part, but just trying to
[00:50:42.180]Courtney Santos: bam bam bam. These were my experiences and listing them all.
[00:50:46.703]Courtney Santos: Failing to answer the prompt. I think about this with the leadership examples. Many of them will ask for one
[00:50:55.010]Courtney Santos: example.
[00:50:57.370]Courtney Santos: They mean it.
[00:50:59.480]Courtney Santos: It's it's not an invitation to provide 2 and try to link them if they say one, they mean one
[00:51:05.382]Courtney Santos: so doing things like that going back to the prompt after you write because sometimes you'll divert from it and not realize it.
[00:51:12.180]Courtney Santos: and then stilted language would probably be the last one that I see pretty frequently.
[00:51:19.560]Courtney Santos: All right. I have come to the formal end of the presentation, wanted to let you know that you can talk with the writing center about all aspects of your writing. Certainly take brainstorming notes in to them. Bring your prompt and stuff like that, but they can really work with you, even if all you have is the prompt right and get you started with brainstorming techniques beyond those that I've shown here today.
[00:51:42.275]Courtney Santos: They can also work with you on organizing your essay, creating good narrative flow, thinking about the art and craft of rhetoric right? And all of that fun stuff
[00:51:54.005]Courtney Santos: over here at the Fellowships Office. I focus a lot more on the competitive strategy part. So I look at things like selection criteria. You know, who is the agency? Why do they do what they do. And why does that matter? And then how do you use that to generate the content? So I do focus more on the big picture ideas rather than on kind of the revision or proofreading technique stuff
[00:52:15.730]Courtney Santos: which I leave for the writing center to help us out with career services is wonderful. I think a lot more students should visit them, especially when you are applying to graduate schools. They have a wealth of resources, but they are also just experts at helping students think about.
[00:52:34.590]Courtney Santos: You know, what is your professional narrative? How does all this stuff fit together as you are developing as an individual and a person toward particular goals, right? And so can't say enough good things about showing personal statements and other application essays to our career services. Friends, too.
[00:52:49.970]Courtney Santos: faculty mentors. Again, I think, an underutilized resource. You know it can be hard to get faculty time, but they can tell you things that are specific to your field, that just none of us here in these centralized offices can really do right. I'm a creative writer by trade, right? I am not an engineer, for example. So I may have worked with engineers. I may know a lot about them, but I can't know it from inside the field right? And so they can read your work?
[00:53:18.399]Courtney Santos: And talk to you about examples that really speak to either agency specific criteria, you know, or field specific stuff, right? And really help you select the experiences that are going to be meaningful to your reviewers. If you are applying for something that's field specific and grad school is always field specific, right? Professional schools, always field specific
[00:53:44.250]Courtney Santos: and then, finally, there's the people who know you well and your strengths. And so you know who these people are, I don't necessarily know they could be coaches. They could be mentors, they could be work supervisors. They can be your friends, but they are people that you trust and who know your unique strengths, and they know if you are being too humble in your essay.
[00:54:00.810]Courtney Santos: Right? They know if you are missing something. I actually don't know that when students come in right I won't know if you've left a bunch of stuff off the page, and I'm just seeing the tip of the iceberg right? And so these folks will definitely remind you
[00:54:16.540]Courtney Santos: of what's in your blind spot and the incredible strengths that you possess.
[00:54:23.160]Courtney Santos: Alright, I'm gonna hang out here for questions. We have plenty of time.
[00:54:29.980]Courtney Santos: and we're pretty small group today. If you want to unmute you probably can.
[00:54:51.640]Courtney Santos: I'm so glad it was.
[00:54:53.040]Lauren Winn: Sorry I have a question
[00:54:55.610]Lauren Winn: when it comes to like writing statements, for like study abroad, cause I was thinking about. I would really love to do an internship or like work
[00:55:05.360]Lauren Winn: with their research, like facility abroad. So what type of like if they're asking for a statement? What type of statement or
[00:55:13.640]Lauren Winn: like, how would I craft that you know what I mean?
[00:55:17.110]Courtney Santos: Yeah, I think it's important to look carefully at the prompt right and make sure you know
[00:55:23.760]Courtney Santos: which type of essay they are asking for
[00:55:30.512]Courtney Santos: so if they don't say if it's a personal statement or statement of purpose.
[00:55:35.606]Courtney Santos: looking for keywords in the prompt. If they've given a prompt right. Sometimes they just say, write a study abroad essay, and it's really kind of unclear, right? I would default when I'm applying for study abroad program if they haven't defined what the essay is, and they haven't include a real prompt to. It's probably a statement of purpose.
[00:55:55.850]Lauren Winn: Perfect.
[00:55:56.360]Courtney Santos: Right. They probably want to know about your goals.
[00:55:59.807]Courtney Santos: But they may want a little bit of context from a personal statement, and it never hurts to personalize that statement of goals. If that makes sense.
[00:56:08.120]Lauren Winn: So you still use like ethos, pathos, and logos.
[00:56:12.210]Courtney Santos: Oh, absolutely.
[00:56:15.240]Courtney Santos: Let's go to that one great question.
[00:56:19.530]Courtney Santos: you know even a statement of purpose. I think these tactics are useful.
[00:56:24.081]Courtney Santos: Maybe a little less. Pay those, if I know for sure. It's a statement of purpose prompt.
[00:56:29.490]Courtney Santos: But there are ways in which we can connect emotionally with our work that are going to come out right. So I think about like, why is my work as a fellowships advisor personally meaningful to me? Right. That might be something I would include in the statements of purpose essay if I was writing right.
[00:56:46.290]Courtney Santos: so I think there's still ways in which you can draw these techniques in but definitely, Logos, in a statement of purpose is going to come out pretty strongly right because we are explaining future work
[00:56:58.007]Courtney Santos: and goals. And we need to help the reader draw connections. Right? So I think you said you wanted to apply for like a research internship. Is that right? Yeah. So it's like, what's the logical case for this internship being the next step in your trajectory?
[00:57:18.100]Lauren Winn: Okay.
[00:57:19.120]Courtney Santos: Yeah.
[00:57:20.110]Lauren Winn: Why why abroad?
[00:57:22.840]Courtney Santos: Right? That's also Logos.
[00:57:25.220]Lauren Winn: Okay, perfect. Thank you.
[00:57:27.460]Courtney Santos: Yeah. Good one.
[00:57:32.220]Courtney Santos: I can pull chat.
[00:57:36.420]Courtney Santos: Okay, I don't see any more questions.
[00:57:40.530]Courtney Santos: I'm so glad to hear it was helpful to many of you today to do this exercise together? And to talk about personal statement, genre conventions. I am available for appointments, you know, throughout July and August, you know, there's a lot of appointments available. So is my colleague, Joanna Kipperoo, who's actually here today. Our graduate assistant. Hello, you wanna
[00:58:00.800]Courtney Santos: So you can make appointments with either one of us if you want to talk about an essay, and then I think I want to plug again. The writing center cannot say enough good things. The writing center does have limited hours over the summer, but you can give them a call or check online to see what appointments are available there. Career services, likewise typically available in the summer as well.
[00:58:21.960]Courtney Santos: So you're definitely gonna be able to get in touch with us and hopefully get multiple perspectives as you are working on your writing.
[00:58:30.640]Courtney Santos: All right. It's Friday. I want to give you 3 min back of your day if I can, and wish you a very good weekend. Thanks for coming today. And look for the recording on our website, which is Urafunledu within the next couple of business days.
[00:58:45.560]Courtney Santos: Take care and have a great weekend.
[00:58:48.460]Carston Wiebe: Thank you, you too.
[00:58:50.670]Courtney Santos: Thank you.

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Writing Personal Statements and Leadership Essays

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