Roadside Reflection #4: May 29, 2025

Linda Reddish Author

05/28/2025 Added

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Linda Reddish discusses how we as Extension team members can navigate conflict.

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[00:00:00.000]Hey, my name is Linda Reddish.
[00:00:02.850]I am a statewide extension
[00:00:04.810]educator on the early childhood
[00:00:07.230]team. And I was asked if I
[00:00:09.470]wouldn't mind providing just a
[00:00:11.880]brief reflection and sharing my
[00:00:14.380]roadside reflection after
[00:00:16.510]responding to the last mile
[00:00:19.300]marker that Lisa had put out,
[00:00:20.960]which is thinking about
[00:00:22.130]conflict and how we maybe
[00:00:23.530]approach conflict.
[00:00:24.840]And in particular, you know,
[00:00:27.330]what do we do when there's a
[00:00:28.830]particular moment or an issue
[00:00:30.930]in which something hurtful or
[00:00:33.030]harmful was said and I'm
[00:00:34.690]questioning about intervening
[00:00:36.960]or I'm not sure if that moment
[00:00:39.030]passed me by.
[00:00:40.300]So then how do I go back and
[00:00:41.560]address it again? And part of
[00:00:43.540]the reason I was open to doing
[00:00:45.640]it is because I just wrapped up
[00:00:47.880]this past month, a series
[00:00:49.860]exactly on this topic, which
[00:00:52.100]was conflict.
[00:00:53.540]Conflict in early childhood.
[00:00:54.560]Our training series is called
[00:00:56.930]Little Problems, Big Solutions.
[00:00:59.920]But the intention of that
[00:01:01.630]training is helping in our
[00:01:03.410]early childhood settings think
[00:01:05.640]about how we as adults navigate
[00:01:07.760]conflict because it sets the
[00:01:09.770]tone for everything.
[00:01:11.480]And so if, you know, the
[00:01:12.870]educators themselves are having
[00:01:14.790]some difficulty navigating
[00:01:16.440]conflict, then, you know, the
[00:01:18.370]children are seeing that role
[00:01:20.030]model.
[00:01:20.800]Then I thought, well, that that
[00:01:22.580]can be applied in the same
[00:01:24.030]context.
[00:01:24.560]The way in which we as
[00:01:26.130]extension team members all
[00:01:28.470]engage in conflict and or, you
[00:01:30.700]know, interact with one another
[00:01:33.310]sets the tone at our
[00:01:34.790]organizational level.
[00:01:37.040]It sets the tone at our county
[00:01:38.740]level, our office level, and in
[00:01:40.680]our program areas.
[00:01:42.020]And so the example in the early
[00:01:43.600]childhood training that I do, I
[00:01:45.300]talk about what would you do if
[00:01:46.870]you hear a colleague make a
[00:01:48.260]negative comment about a child,
[00:01:50.040]something like, gosh, that
[00:01:51.610]child's just so difficult.
[00:01:53.480]Or gosh, that child's just so
[00:01:54.150]difficult.
[00:01:54.540]Or gosh, that child's just
[00:01:54.940]never listens.
[00:01:55.260]Or can you believe that that's,
[00:01:57.000]you know, what happened after,
[00:01:58.900]you know, I said this wasn't
[00:02:00.390]going to be a choice, you know.
[00:02:02.360]And what I would say is I don't
[00:02:04.060]think that that's just unique
[00:02:05.860]to children.
[00:02:06.900]I think we hear comments like
[00:02:08.410]that in our office spaces and
[00:02:09.920]in our work spaces, really in
[00:02:11.480]our everyday life.
[00:02:12.780]Managing conflict in our
[00:02:13.990]everyday life just kind of
[00:02:15.320]happens.
[00:02:15.900]There's a really great net
[00:02:17.130]guide actually written about
[00:02:18.550]this that we have called Managing
[00:02:20.130]Conflict in Our Everyday Life,
[00:02:21.610]if you wanted to check it out.
[00:02:24.520]Instead, I see those
[00:02:25.780]opportunities as just really
[00:02:27.530]lovely moments and really
[00:02:29.070]critical moments actually for
[00:02:30.890]intervention.
[00:02:32.020]Because at least in early
[00:02:33.410]childhood, it's not just about
[00:02:35.200]correcting the behavior.
[00:02:36.900]I reframe it to say it's
[00:02:38.420]actually about upholding our
[00:02:40.420]professional values.
[00:02:42.140]And when we step in and we
[00:02:44.250]frame it in that lens, then
[00:02:46.800]what we're saying is I value
[00:02:49.100]our relationship.
[00:02:51.140]I value our clients.
[00:02:54.500]I value our classroom.
[00:02:54.840]I value our children, our
[00:02:55.940]families.
[00:02:56.520]In extension, I would say I
[00:02:57.720]value my colleagues.
[00:02:58.840]I value our audiences and our
[00:03:00.680]participants.
[00:03:01.880]And, you know, when I engage in
[00:03:03.660]this conversation with you
[00:03:05.220]about it.
[00:03:05.960]So when we step in, one of the
[00:03:08.400]things that we can do around
[00:03:10.740]that is just maybe frame it too
[00:03:13.290]in a way.
[00:03:14.340]So what I thought might be
[00:03:15.710]helpful is to share some
[00:03:17.150]reflections on what do I do in
[00:03:18.590]that moment.
[00:03:19.560]And I tend to just ask
[00:03:21.100]reflection questions too.
[00:03:23.340]Because sometimes I find.
[00:03:24.480]I find asking a question versus
[00:03:26.230]direct confrontation can
[00:03:27.720]actually deescalate more.
[00:03:29.480]And I think it's important here
[00:03:31.050]to note there's a difference
[00:03:32.500]like what Jill Godekin and
[00:03:33.880]Angie Heller talk about, which
[00:03:35.550]is deescalation when it's
[00:03:36.650]particularly emotionally
[00:03:37.800]charged situations.
[00:03:38.840]And what I'm talking about when
[00:03:40.600]there's some trust there and
[00:03:42.240]relationship there and you want
[00:03:44.170]to have a conversation and just
[00:03:45.890]kind of reflect on what it is
[00:03:47.470]that's being, you know, said in
[00:03:49.360]that moment.
[00:03:50.520]And so I might say something
[00:03:51.520]like, gosh, I'm wondering how
[00:03:52.670]that comment is going to affect
[00:03:53.790]that child.
[00:03:54.460]Or, oh, gosh, I'm wondering how
[00:03:56.090]that comment might affect that
[00:03:57.600]person if they were to overhear
[00:03:59.090]it, you know, after it's been
[00:04:00.560]said.
[00:04:01.160]Right.
[00:04:01.600]So if someone says something
[00:04:02.510]like, gosh, that person is just
[00:04:03.550]so difficult.
[00:04:04.220]Gosh, I just wonder how that
[00:04:05.510]would affect that person if
[00:04:06.750]they were to hear that.
[00:04:07.960]Right.
[00:04:09.320]So I try to kind of, again, you
[00:04:11.760]know, to help switch the
[00:04:13.900]conversation to a more curious
[00:04:16.220]and nonjudgmental kind of space.
[00:04:19.140]But, you know, I'm just
[00:04:20.210]wondering, you know, what are
[00:04:21.600]your concerns about this?
[00:04:22.940]Like, what's the underlying
[00:04:23.980]concern?
[00:04:24.440]What's the underlying concern
[00:04:25.600]behind your comment?
[00:04:26.520]Or, you know, gosh, I'm
[00:04:27.960]wondering, has there been any
[00:04:29.690]communication or some things
[00:04:31.320]that have led up to this, you
[00:04:32.890]know, particular comment?
[00:04:34.740]But more importantly, you know,
[00:04:37.570]what we want to think about is
[00:04:39.930]how do we transform what could
[00:04:42.560]be potentially a really
[00:04:44.370]difficult or hurtful moment
[00:04:46.730]into an opportunity?
[00:04:48.900]And so for me, I just think
[00:04:50.170]about it more as upholding
[00:04:51.370]professionalism and modeling
[00:04:52.840]respectful communication.
[00:04:54.420]And just making sure that our
[00:04:56.580]focus really remains on
[00:04:58.360]supporting that relationship,
[00:05:00.900]but also, you know, squarely on
[00:05:03.410]respecting our broader
[00:05:05.490]organization's well-being.
[00:05:07.740]And that kind of moment when we
[00:05:09.660]step in then kind of strengthens
[00:05:11.380]our entirety.
[00:05:12.440]Thanks.

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Roadside Reflection #4: May 29, 2025

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