S2E4: Part 2- Sweet Dreams vs. Nightmares w. Linda & Brian Reddish
Nebraska Extension Early Childhood Program Area-Emily Manning, Dr. Holly Hatton, Ingrid Lindal, Erin Kampbell, Linda Reddish, Katie Krause, and LaDonna Werth
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10/29/2024
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We dive deeper into the topic of children’s sleep and nightmares with parents Linda and Brian Reddish, whose child struggled with frequent nightmares over a long period. In this heartfelt conversation, they share insights from their experience and discuss the strategies that ultimately helped their child sleep soundly. Whether you’re looking for practical advice or reassurance, this episode offers a compassionate perspective on supporting children through sleep challenges
Resources:
Nebraska Family Helpline: 888-866-8660 or https://dhhs.ne.gov/Pages/Nebraska-Family-Helpline.aspx
Nebraska Early Development Network- https://edn.ne.gov/cms/
Read for Resilience- https://child.unl.edu/read4resilience
The following music was used for this media project:
Music: Afterparty Review by Sascha Ende
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/2962-afterparty-review
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
"Wholesome" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Searchable Transcript
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- [00:00:00.000]This is The Good Life in Early Life, a production of Nebraska Extension. I'm your host, Emily
- [00:00:14.500]Manning, an early childhood extension educator. Happy early Halloween, everyone. Hope you
- [00:00:19.740]all have a wonderful last day of October. Today, we are going to continue our discussion
- [00:00:25.080]about children's sleep and supporting children with nightmares. Earlier this month, we had
- [00:00:29.780]Dr. Helen Raikes on the show to share some of the research around children's sleep and
- [00:00:33.960]nightmares. Now, we're going to have Linda and Brian Reddish join us on the show to discuss
- [00:00:39.700]their experiences as a parent supporting their child's sleep. We are going to use gender
- [00:00:45.020]neutral pronouns to refer to their child just to protect the identity of their child since
- [00:00:49.580]they are still a minor. As my listeners may recall, Linda has been on the podcast before
- [00:00:55.180]talking about how to support your own grief during the holidays. She is a statewide,
- [00:00:59.560]extension educator with our early childhood team. So we're very excited to have her back on the
- [00:01:03.860]podcast to share her knowledge as a parent, as well as her spouse, Brian. So welcome to the show,
- [00:01:08.680]Linda and Brian Reddish. We're so excited to have you on the podcast and sharing your experiences
- [00:01:13.720]with parenting today. So, let's get started with how old was your child when they started
- [00:01:20.820]experiencing nightmares? So for us, it was preschool age and it continued through age eight. And so
- [00:01:29.340]from like four to eight years with age four and five, probably being the most challenging year
- [00:01:36.560]for when we had that kind of period of just nightmares and sleep disturbance. And you know,
- [00:01:41.820]like it varied, like sometimes there could be like little moments, little pockets where it was going
- [00:01:47.060]well. But then when kindergarten started and all of a sudden it was an exposure to like new routine
- [00:01:52.780]drills, you know, that just happened in schools. There was like an uptick again of nightmares. And
- [00:01:59.120]it really just kind of would vary, but it really was for four years sort of straight and solid
- [00:02:04.360]with moments where it was particularly challenging in those younger preschool years. And, then,
- [00:02:09.780]gradually it got a lot better. Yeah. That's a long span of time for you. Yeah. Yes. When you're
- [00:02:17.220]saying four years, I'm like, oh man, I can barely do like a few days without sleep. And then four
- [00:02:23.200]years. Ooh, that's a long time. So, tell me what you were feeling or experiencing
- [00:02:28.900]when your child began struggling with sleep disturbances.
- [00:02:32.180]So, as we just kind of comically mentioned, we were exhausted. So you hear as parents that as
- [00:02:39.480]soon as they get to a certain age, sleep just becomes a little bit more natural, meaning you're
- [00:02:43.660]not waking up with bottles or having to change diapers all the time, which rang true for us as
- [00:02:48.940]well. But, we then had this extended period of time where our child had multiple nightmares
- [00:02:54.620]and it was just tiring to deal with as parents where we would
- [00:02:58.680]share responsibilities where one of us would get up, one of us wouldn't, just so that we could
- [00:03:02.520]try to alleviate the stress and the discomfort, if you will, for one of us where they could get
- [00:03:08.360]a full night's sleep. So, at first we thought it was pretty normal. I mean, I know nightmares
- [00:03:12.660]are common for kids, but as we mentioned, the length of time was probably the hardest part
- [00:03:18.520]to deal with. And we felt that the biggest cause of the nightmares were really just around
- [00:03:25.820]transitioning to a new school. So going,
- [00:03:28.660]from preschool and then starting elementary school, this was right when the pandemic hit.
- [00:03:35.160]So they were one of those school-aged children that they started the year in a classroom. And
- [00:03:41.600]then when the pandemic hit in March, as a kindergartner, they went to at-home learning.
- [00:03:46.120]So they got a very limited exposure to their very first year of public school. And with those
- [00:03:52.840]drills, with the active shooter drills that came with that, and then as a result of those drills,
- [00:03:59.360]there was a conversation that our child had with another student where there was a comment made
- [00:04:05.360]about someone climbing into their window and causing harm. And based on that scenario of
- [00:04:14.680]another person climbing up their window, as well as the drills at school, there was instances where
- [00:04:21.500]there was just additional fear when they came home that we would have to talk about in terms of what
- [00:04:26.960]was reality. And then when they came home, there was just additional fear that we would have to
- [00:04:28.620]understand that some of the things that they would then think through would come in as a dream
- [00:04:33.480]and then obviously turn into a nightmare. Yeah. I think we also can't take away too
- [00:04:40.240]that during the pandemic, there was just a lot of external stressors too that children
- [00:04:45.240]were experiencing. So it was like all the things that Brian mentioned. So when we think about,
- [00:04:49.800]you're like, gosh, that's such a long time, but we're like, well, technically like here's our
- [00:04:53.940]five and six year old, like going to school, having this stressor. Yeah. Someone
- [00:04:58.600]made a comment at school, but coupled with like all of these different things, it was just like a
- [00:05:03.900]juggernaut of different things that happened. And then it really was, you know, several years of
- [00:05:10.780]trying to navigate all of these kind of really scary, complex, real life scenarios for a little
- [00:05:17.740]person. Oh, I just really feel for them. It sounds like it was a very stressful time because I
- [00:05:23.080]remember myself as an adult being so stressed during the pandemic, like every week would bring something
- [00:05:28.580]new. So I can only imagine what it'd be like for a child. And then I also really empathize with them.
- [00:05:35.080]I weirdly had a similar experience in kindergarten. I had a classmate like tell me that they were
- [00:05:41.320]going to come to my house and like watch me through my window. And so then I'd be like at
- [00:05:45.460]night, I'd be like crawling on the floor underneath the windows, like trying to avoid the windows
- [00:05:50.240]because I was afraid they'd be watching me. So I understand the fear that that comes from. So I really empathize with them
- [00:05:58.560]and understand that it's not fun. No! And also, yeah, when we think about, you know, kids say things.
- [00:06:06.840]Yeah. On the other hand, words matter too. But like, if you think about it from like an adult
- [00:06:11.340]perspective, like if somebody randomly at work said something to you like that, you'd be like,
- [00:06:15.680]this is not okay. Right? I'm going to call HR or the police. I don't know either one.
- [00:06:23.700]But we kind of normalize it with kids. But right. If the shoe was on,
- [00:06:28.540]the other foot, right. The other perspective we would, if it was flipped or reversed,
- [00:06:33.580]we would be like, this isn't okay as adults. Right. Yeah. When I was thinking about for you
- [00:06:39.780]too, like for both of you, how stressful that'd be as parents, you know, you feel for your child
- [00:06:45.300]and don't want them to be experiencing these things. I just think having to watch them go
- [00:06:50.440]through that would also be difficult as a parent. It was yeah. So just really feeling for you guys too.
- [00:06:58.520]And, then there's nightmares, which is our conversation today. And so we talked about just how stressful
- [00:07:05.880]it was, how exhausting it was. You guys talked about how you kind of tag team nights a little
- [00:07:11.640]bit. What were some other strategies that you found helpful for you and your child during this
- [00:07:17.260]time? Yeah, I think it was really helpful to just spend some time talking just now about like,
- [00:07:22.680]what were some of the factors that influenced why the nightmares were happening? Because that
- [00:07:28.500]is probably like the first step in what was most helpful for the two of us. Because once we were
- [00:07:36.320]able to like pinpoint what are the specific things, we were able then to put in some helpful
- [00:07:41.760]strategies that would be more targeted for the reasons for why the nightmares were even happening
- [00:07:47.540]in the first place. Yeah. And so, you know, like we adjusted the routine of falling asleep. Like
- [00:07:54.100]that was one of the first things that we kind of started doing. So it was like we would do,
- [00:07:58.480]bath time first and we would do reading, but we even like while we were reading, we started to
- [00:08:05.020]adjust some of the books that we were reading at bedtime, finding books that may be like aligned
- [00:08:10.840]with the feelings that our child was having at that time or just books that were maybe a little
- [00:08:15.720]bit calmer, you know, that could just, just like really just kind of help to just calm the nervous
- [00:08:22.740]system before bedtime. We also started at that time, because I was getting some more support or
- [00:08:28.460]around wellbeing and mindfulness activities. And so we started incorporating some mindful
- [00:08:33.180]meditations before bedtime. And it seemed like all of those different things together really
- [00:08:38.820]helped. So, one was just like our first step before we moved to, which we can talk about later into
- [00:08:44.340]some of the more like additional like strategies that we had to take. That was kind of our first
- [00:08:49.200]step. And some nights worked really well. It was clear to us it wasn't enough. And so then,
- [00:08:55.180]you know, we realized, okay, there's probably some additional strategies,
- [00:08:58.440]some additional resources that we need some help with.
- [00:09:01.300]What'd you do then? What strategies and resources did you find?
- [00:09:05.780]One was that we would just stay in the room a little bit longer.
- [00:09:10.460]Okay.
- [00:09:10.920]While we obviously wanted to enjoy our evening or clean up, do dishes, do laundry, whatever
- [00:09:17.560]the night allowed us to do. We just decided to try to meet our child where they were knowing that
- [00:09:23.000]they just need a little bit more time to fall asleep, allow them more time to have either mom
- [00:09:28.420]or dad stay in the room with them while they were falling asleep. So sometimes that would take 20
- [00:09:35.020]minutes. Sometimes that would be 45 minutes to an hour, just laying in the room on their floor
- [00:09:39.920]next to them, just assuring them that mom and dad are there with them.
- [00:09:44.040]Okay. Be honest with me. Did either of you ever fall asleep during that time?
- [00:09:48.080]All the time. Also, you're so tired. So the floor is fine.
- [00:09:51.380]Yeah. Yeah. I would totally fall asleep right then and there. I might beat them to it.
- [00:09:56.480]And Brian really loves sleep.
- [00:09:58.400]Yeah. It's the most important thing. So I would sometimes find myself probably falling asleep before my child would. So I learned that helping address those nightmares at first and talking about it did help. And we also discussed that none of their concerns had anything to do with them. It's really around those situations of what individuals had said and what those experiences were in that first year of school that it's okay to
- [00:10:28.380]have those thoughts and how to properly think through what's real and what's not. Sometimes we
- [00:10:34.300]have these ideas of expectations of how our child is supposed to act. But I really learned that
- [00:10:40.180]embracing the child that's in front of me, such as sleeping on the floor with them until they
- [00:10:46.440]would fall asleep, probably the best strategy. Yeah. And actually what you just said, Brian,
- [00:10:51.040]links to what Dr. Raikes told me about. And so it's really helpful to teach children about their logical
- [00:10:58.360]brain and their worry brain and teaching them the difference and like how to tap into that
- [00:11:03.380]logical brain and like understand what is real and what is not. So, it was like you guys listened
- [00:11:09.380]to her interview already. It's not like I could just go in there and say, okay, it is bedtime,
- [00:11:16.960]go to bed. That would just not work. I mean, we knew that would be an absolute terrible idea
- [00:11:22.160]because that's just not where our child was. So it's just meeting them where they're at to begin
- [00:11:27.760]with.
- [00:11:28.340]And what would have happened? Like if you had just shut the door,
- [00:11:31.520]go to bed, time for bed, what would have happened?
- [00:11:34.000]I think it would have made it worse. And it also probably would have delayed the process even more.
- [00:11:41.180]Yes, four years sounds like a long time, but it was gradual and with moments of intensity and
- [00:11:48.080]then periods of okay. Now, where we're at, you know, like it's such a much better place and
- [00:11:53.420]the routine and being able to sleep such a healthy, such a healthy sleep routine.
- [00:11:58.320]But yeah, if we, I don't think it would have helped at all. And it would have,
- [00:12:01.720]I think in the long run backfired. Would have worsened it and not set them up for success.
- [00:12:07.120]Yeah. So you both found that staying with them for a little bit longer until they fell asleep
- [00:12:13.380]was helpful. Changing the routine. So bath was first and then reading and selecting books really
- [00:12:18.920]carefully, practicing mindfulness and mindful breathing activities, teaching them about using
- [00:12:24.760]their logical brain to determine what's real and what's not. These were some
- [00:12:28.300]strategies that were helpful. And I think some other helpful strategies that we did that really,
- [00:12:34.540]as you're talking about, Dr. Raikes was saying with logical and emotional.
- [00:12:38.200]Yeah. It really was about like this gradual independence. So it wasn't like what Brian said,
- [00:12:46.120]you know, like our expectation wasn't from the get go. Oh, you just need to go to bed.
- [00:12:49.860]Yeah. So like we just gradually and gradually increased our child's independence and like
- [00:12:58.280]you know, he already said like we would spend the like at the first we would stay in the night
- [00:13:02.760]until our kid was asleep. Then, it like gradual independence was I'm going to get up while you're
- [00:13:08.060]still awake in that sleepy sort of stage. Yeah. Stand outside the door until you fall asleep.
- [00:13:13.520]Okay. Yeah. And then I mentioned like, oh, we realized, you know, changing the routine wasn't
- [00:13:18.680]enough. I think probably what we personally learned as a family was that it was okay to ask
- [00:13:24.600]for help. And so then we reached out to a therapist.
- [00:13:28.260]We were able to do virtual sessions with, and then eventually in person who specialized in
- [00:13:34.320]early childhood. And it was great to have this like person who could say like, here's some other
- [00:13:39.580]things that you can do that are at this like moment, really going to be helpful to tap into
- [00:13:45.800]that emotional logical. So, one particular strategy that I think like changed the game for us was a
- [00:13:52.540]verbal strategy and it was like verbal reassurance. Okay. So to get out of the
- [00:13:58.240]room, it was just so simple. Our therapist, she just said, "You just, if you need to check
- [00:14:04.240]that mom and dad are still around, that no harm has happened to them, that everything's okay.
- [00:14:08.940]All you have to do is just open your door and yell vocal." And so I don't know, for months,
- [00:14:14.960]I feel like maybe a year, you know, we would just hear this little "vocal". And at first it was like,
- [00:14:21.600]you know, almost every like half hour, 15 minutes at first, like for a week or two,
- [00:14:27.080]but never came out of the room. Okay. And then it would stretch and then it would be a more
- [00:14:34.410]startled, like, Oh, you must've fallen asleep. And you just hear like "Vocal?", but are you okay?
- [00:14:39.930]Are you two down there? And then it went away. And then Brian did something really smart.
- [00:14:46.210]Just like, like just common sense. Like he put an alarm on the window. Like it was just this,
- [00:14:51.470]you know, like if you push the alarm and like, it would just make this little beeping sound.
- [00:14:55.990]And that was like a $10 fix from the hardware store or something like that.
- [00:15:00.770]Yeah. And that ties back into their fear of like somebody coming in through the window
- [00:15:04.430]so that they had security knowing there would be an alarm if someone tried that. Right.
- [00:15:09.030]Yeah.
- [00:15:10.150]Technique that the therapist walked us through is a shoe box that our child got to decorate
- [00:15:17.810]at the therapist's office. And inside the shoe box were just these little strips of paper of good,
- [00:15:24.910]joyful and wonderful moments, memories, dreams that they had. So, if they were getting a thought
- [00:15:31.890]that came into their mind while preparing to fall asleep, and this box was kept near a nightstand,
- [00:15:38.430]they could just lean over, open up the box and read one of these little strips of paper of a
- [00:15:44.310]good memory of, or something of a puppy. You know, we have three dogs in our house, so our dogs are
- [00:15:49.550]very well loved and our child has loved our dog. So, just a good memory of something that one of our
- [00:15:54.650]dogs did with them when they were like four years old. So that was a wonderful technique as well.
- [00:16:00.510]So, it sounds like you had several things within your toolbox, your parenting toolbox that helped
- [00:16:07.610]you support your child sleeping through the night and getting ready to sleep and to help kind of
- [00:16:13.350]eliminate those nightmares that they were experiencing over time. And I'm really glad that you had the
- [00:16:18.230]support of a therapist and all these tools to help you and your child. What do you think you learned
- [00:16:24.390]personally and as a family as a result of this experience? The first thing that comes to mind
- [00:16:32.150]is patience. I find myself being somewhat of a more patient person and it stretched my understanding
- [00:16:40.750]of truly what patience can be because I never would have thought something would take. I mean,
- [00:16:46.770]that's like a college degree that it took for our child to feel comfortable sleeping. That to me is
- [00:16:54.130]a very long time. So, when you put it in that perspective of something else that takes four
- [00:16:58.310]years, it was, of course, there were nights that we were both frustrated and did not have a enough
- [00:17:06.990]bandwidth to support either each other or what was going on with sleep. And, while mindfulness
- [00:17:13.450]practices were being practiced by our child to help, we did the same thing because we would have
- [00:17:19.010]to say, okay, they're up. There's tears.
- [00:17:24.430]They can't get back to bed. It's one in the morning. It's 4:30 in the morning.
- [00:17:28.550]Let's try to have them go back to sleep so they're not up for school at 4:30 in the morning.
- [00:17:33.890]That takes a toll. But for me, the biggest life lesson is A) meeting your child... I'll go back
- [00:17:40.470]to patience... But then very closely related to that level of patience is just meeting your child
- [00:17:45.630]where they are, not what you want. Because if it was what I wanted, which is them to fall asleep,
- [00:17:50.310]I would have done, okay, time to go to bed. I'll close the door. That's not where our
- [00:17:54.010]child was. So that level of practice of a four-year commitment of the Marco Polo vocal
- [00:18:01.050]phrase that we talked about, I never would have thought of that in a million years. So, getting
- [00:18:04.710]the support of the therapist to give our child a verbal cue that they're okay, we're okay,
- [00:18:13.330]everything's okay in the house. So, they can just close the door and try to go back to bed.
- [00:18:18.630]So, bring your patience. Yeah. And resilience.
- [00:18:23.950]No matter what. You have to be resilient. You got to keep with it. If we just tried the vocal thing for a few weeks
- [00:18:29.170]and it wasn't working, you know, we had to stick with it. So that's a very good point.
- [00:18:33.990]Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to just say ditto on everything Brian said for what I learned.
- [00:18:39.830]But for me, I knew how important consistency was, but until it was like smack in your face
- [00:18:49.750]for the length of time that it took.
- [00:18:53.890]I really realized like, wow, that this is just so important to just stick with the plan,
- [00:19:01.870]trust the plan, keep at it.
- [00:19:04.390]That for me, that was probably the biggest like learning moment because I do tend to
- [00:19:10.390]be, I think a little bit more flexible and my approach, especially with young children
- [00:19:15.150]tends to be flexible.
- [00:19:16.170]Like, oh, that's not working for you.
- [00:19:17.330]Okay. Let's switch.
- [00:19:17.950]Let's try something else.
- [00:19:18.830]Does this sound like more fun, you know, or have we tried this option, but for this particular
- [00:19:23.390]situation?
- [00:19:23.830]It was really staying consistent and just because there was just so much uncertainty.
- [00:19:30.410]That's what was triggering a lot of the nightmares when we were able to really kind of, you know,
- [00:19:36.370]tap into those additional resources and supports.
- [00:19:38.990]Well, what's the best thing to help counter uncertainty?
- [00:19:42.470]Well, it's a routine.
- [00:19:44.250]It's structure.
- [00:19:45.230]It's knowing what's around the corner and talking about it.
- [00:19:49.910]For me, that was probably the biggest aha and learning moment there.
- [00:19:53.770]And I just think of your role as an early childhood educator, too, and just thinking
- [00:19:59.990]you've worked in this field, too, but then you experience these challenges as a parent
- [00:20:04.030]and just what that feels like.
- [00:20:05.850]I think it certainly helped because I knew what pieces were important around consistency,
- [00:20:14.610]flexibility.
- [00:20:15.610]I knew when like, oh, this isn't going to just be like a short period, right?
- [00:20:20.690]This needs more help.
- [00:20:23.710]Even the two of us.
- [00:20:24.910]So I also hope that I can really like normalize that it's okay to ask for help.
- [00:20:30.450]Yeah.
- [00:20:31.030]And even with my background, like I needed help at the end of the day, I'm a parent and
- [00:20:36.890]I'm just, I'm looking at my kid and I just want to do what I can to help my child be
- [00:20:41.270]successful.
- [00:20:41.850]So what are the, what is going to help me actually get there and be able to accomplish
- [00:20:46.910]that too?
- [00:20:47.570]So I think both things can be true and you just, I think also it helps me develop a
- [00:20:53.650]I think even more empathy just in general when it comes to just being a family and what
- [00:21:00.370]families and caregivers and all of the different ways in which all of the roles that adults
- [00:21:05.850]play in children's lives really matter.
- [00:21:07.990]Because it wasn't just the two of us who got our child to the point where the sleep
- [00:21:13.310]routine was established, like it took others to help us to get there.
- [00:21:16.610]So that community part was really important.
- [00:21:18.650]Yeah, families and parents aren't alone and there's resources to help.
- [00:21:23.590]And it's okay to access those resources because they're there for you.
- [00:21:27.810]And all these experts want to do is help.
- [00:21:30.010]They want to help people get through that and they want what's best for children.
- [00:21:33.830]And so, yeah, reach out to them.
- [00:21:35.950]It's okay.
- [00:21:36.570]And so I appreciate you normalizing that.
- [00:21:39.110]Yeah.
- [00:21:40.110]And in Nebraska, we have some really great resources that are really dedicated to the
- [00:21:45.010]period of early childhood.
- [00:21:46.050]And so I think that that's also something to kind of just like lift up because it's
- [00:21:51.270]not always easy to find someone.
- [00:21:53.530]The reason which we were able to find someone who specialized in early childhood and could
- [00:21:57.790]help us to me, I like reflect like, wow, that's that's really incredible that that was an
- [00:22:02.190]option.
- [00:22:02.510]Yeah.
- [00:22:03.390]You mentioned resources, and I'm sure that our listeners would love to hear some of those
- [00:22:07.550]resources that are available to them.
- [00:22:09.090]Do you happen to know some off the top of your head, Linda?
- [00:22:11.450]Well, I think the Nebraska Family Helpline is probably the best first start.
- [00:22:16.150]And so if you want to include that toll free number, it's a first best step because there
- [00:22:23.470]is always someone who's available at the toll free line.
- [00:22:26.770]You literally can call and ask any question.
- [00:22:29.170]No question is silly.
- [00:22:30.690]And it's for the entire lifespan of a child.
- [00:22:34.530]And so I think that that's probably like if I said, where's the starting point today?
- [00:22:39.910]That's where I would start first.
- [00:22:41.590]And then there's other organizations throughout our state that can help with some more specific
- [00:22:49.350]pieces like the Nebraska Early Development Network.
- [00:22:53.410]And certainly, you know, tapping into some of those state resources can help.
- [00:22:57.650]But the Nebraska Family Helpline is where I would say start today.
- [00:23:00.950]We also have a resource on through Nebraska Extension Early Childhood called Read for
- [00:23:07.070]Resilience, which is books and other resources that can help children gain skills, resiliency
- [00:23:13.570]skills.
- [00:23:14.090]So you can access that on our website at child.unl.edu.
- [00:23:17.390]And the books on there are lovely.
- [00:23:19.670]Several of them are some of my absolute favorites.
- [00:23:23.350]Mentioned some of them on a previous episode that are part of the Read for Resilience kind
- [00:23:28.570]of kit or group.
- [00:23:29.790]So check those resources out as well.
- [00:23:32.330]We can say, yes, those work both as a parent and someone who saw those resources come to
- [00:23:39.270]life.
- [00:23:39.670]We read Wemberly Worries Before Bedtime.
- [00:23:43.450]We read The Good Egg.
- [00:23:45.750]Oh, that's a good one.
- [00:23:47.230]Those two books were essential in helping us with the bedtime routine.
- [00:23:52.270]That makes sense.
- [00:23:53.290]And read what resonates with them.
- [00:23:55.410]Absolutely.
- [00:23:56.010]So I really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing your experiences and sharing what
- [00:24:01.670]you've learned and what was helpful during this time.
- [00:24:04.150]As we wrap up the episode, I was just wondering if you have any advice for other parents who
- [00:24:08.590]have maybe in a similar experience, maybe you've already shared your advice, but just
- [00:24:12.890]final tips or tricks.
- [00:24:14.250]Yeah, I would say that the situations and the tools that we used are something that
- [00:24:22.090]might not be for.
- [00:24:23.270]Everybody, but allow yourself some grace to explore, to try these or other techniques
- [00:24:31.790]that not every, not every instrument that we've talked about is going to potentially
- [00:24:36.770]solve these nightmare type issues overnight.
- [00:24:40.950]It is going to take some time, but also reach out to others that you've, that are close
- [00:24:44.710]within your family circles, just to see if there's other techniques.
- [00:24:48.410]Don't be afraid to ask for professional help with a, with a therapist, if need be.
- [00:24:53.250]Just because they deal with this a lot and have other techniques that maybe were not
- [00:24:58.010]discussed for today or during today's podcast.
- [00:25:00.910]Yeah.
- [00:25:01.530]Thanks, Brian.
- [00:25:02.310]Linda, how about you?
- [00:25:03.690]I think just normalizing that it happens just in general during those preschool years, like
- [00:25:11.110]that's just a really typical thing to happen in development.
- [00:25:14.130]And so, you know, it may not be like Brian was saying to the extent that our particular
- [00:25:20.750]family experience.
- [00:25:23.650]But it might be, you know, just to normalize that it'll happen.
- [00:25:26.810]It might be temporary, might be longer, it might be shorter, and that's okay.
- [00:25:31.250]And then the other piece of advice I would maybe just give a little bit too is that the
- [00:25:36.810]two of us talked a lot about leaning on each other.
- [00:25:39.150]So because you just get really tired and you get tired, not just physically tired, but
- [00:25:45.830]you can also have your piggy bank drained out.
- [00:25:48.530]And so we tried to find ways to still like find a lot of laughter, a lot of joy.
- [00:25:53.210]There would be times where like we would do things just to make the other person laugh
- [00:25:57.590]when you would come down because we were just so tired.
- [00:26:00.670]So, you know, that's something that worked for us.
- [00:26:04.350]But I would say that's another piece of advice, like just what would help bring you a little
- [00:26:10.230]bit of joy or individual like motivation?
- [00:26:13.510]Because on those nights that it's really hard, really, really hard, that was helpful to go
- [00:26:19.570]back and tap into.
- [00:26:20.550]Yeah, yeah.
- [00:26:23.190]Maintaining your relationship through that difficulty as a parent.
- [00:26:26.470]So keeping that alive and helping each other kind of weather the stressful time and lean
- [00:26:33.370]on each other when maybe one person was really feeling it and the other one could help lighten
- [00:26:37.510]that up.
- [00:26:37.950]So I think that's really important that you both had that.
- [00:26:40.570]And I think, and I think listeners will agree with me, but I just, when I hear your story,
- [00:26:46.690]I just immediately think of strength and compassion.
- [00:26:50.030]So I think both of you are very strong for...
- [00:26:53.170]Showing up for your child and not giving up, that's a strength.
- [00:26:57.170]And showing up for each other too in a really compassionate and empathetic way.
- [00:27:01.850]So I just think you're both very strong.
- [00:27:04.410]Thank you.
- [00:27:05.130]Thanks.
- [00:27:05.630]Yeah.
- [00:27:06.210]We want listeners to know too that our kid sleeps great now.
- [00:27:09.350]We got there.
- [00:27:12.250]Lots of good dreams now.
- [00:27:13.610]No nightmares.
- [00:27:14.230]Yes.
- [00:27:14.990]That's good.
- [00:27:16.150]Happy ending.
- [00:27:16.930]I love to hear it.
- [00:27:18.270]Thank you both for sharing on the podcast today.
- [00:27:21.390]And again, I just...
- [00:27:23.150]I really, really appreciate you sharing your experiences
- [00:27:26.490]and what you learned and what you found to be helpful
- [00:27:29.290]because I think our listeners will also find it helpful.
- [00:27:32.110]Thank you so much.
- [00:27:33.350]My pleasure.
- [00:27:34.230]Next up, we're going to hear from some Nebraska youngsters
- [00:27:41.810]about how they fall asleep at night
- [00:27:43.570]or what they do if they have bad dreams.
- [00:27:46.190]What helps you fall asleep at night?
- [00:27:51.030]Reading a long story.
- [00:27:53.490]Reading a long story.
- [00:27:54.510]Do you have a favorite story?
- [00:27:55.770]Yes.
- [00:27:56.850]What is it?
- [00:27:57.770]I don't know what it is.
- [00:27:59.810]Okay, reading a story, that's my favorite way too.
- [00:28:02.190]Anyone else want to share?
- [00:28:03.670]I'm not sure.
- [00:28:04.530]I just fall asleep.
- [00:28:05.710]And I do quiet time.
- [00:28:08.330]What helps you after you've had a bad dream?
- [00:28:10.710]I think maybe I can just listen to a song or something.
- [00:28:16.110]What helps you after you've had a bad dream?
- [00:28:19.190]Water.
- [00:28:19.890]And that's all it.
- [00:28:20.990]And that's it.
- [00:28:21.550]Thank you.
- [00:28:23.110]This has been an episode of The Good Life in Early Life,
- [00:28:26.710]a Nebraska Extension Early Childhood production with your host, Emily Manning.
- [00:28:30.570]For more information on early childhood, check out our website at child.unl.edu.
- [00:28:35.090]If you like the show, subscribe and tell your friends to listen.
- [00:28:37.970]The show production team is Emily Manning, Dr. Holly Hatton,
- [00:28:41.350]Erin Kampbell, Ingrid Lindal, Linda Reddish, Kim Wellsandt, LaDonna Wirth, and Katie Krause.
- [00:28:46.730]See you next time, and thanks for listening.
- [00:28:49.050]Bye-
- [00:28:53.090]Bye.
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