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Once you think you’ve experienced ambiguous loss, what kind of steps could be taken to improve that situation?

Rural Wellness Author

08/29/2024 Added

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Once you think you’ve experienced ambiguous loss, what kind of steps could be taken to improve that situation?

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[00:00:00.040]So even before we talk about the steps to improve it I think it's good to kind of step back and say
[00:00:17.600]one of the hardest things about it is identifying it is noticing when I've experienced something
[00:00:23.040]that's an ambiguous loss and and sometimes it's clear when we have a family member that becomes
[00:00:28.600]ill it's this single incident but sometimes ambiguous loss is an accumulation of things
[00:00:35.020]and so even for me I just had a whole bunch of chickens that were killed by a raccoon okay and
[00:00:42.280]under normal circumstances that's a heavy thing a hard thing but sometimes when work stress is
[00:00:48.580]there and health is a struggle and you've got all these other things going on and something
[00:00:54.080]like that hits it becomes more significant and so I think the other piece of ambiguity
[00:00:58.400]loss is that there's a lot of times a bunch of minor things that accumulate to kind of a loss
[00:01:05.720]of what should have been a normal beginning to the summer and so I think identifying it can sometimes
[00:01:12.220]be a big challenge I think once we identify it it's really about there are things I can do myself
[00:01:19.400]there are things I can do in conjunction with other people and the things I can do myself are
[00:01:26.180]to really be conscientious
[00:01:28.100]of it so Brene Brown an author of kind of vulnerability and shame and courage she talks
[00:01:34.880]about naming things and the power in naming kind of an experience that we're having and so I think
[00:01:40.940]one of the first things we can do once we recognize I think I'm feeling a loss of something
[00:01:46.100]I'm missing something, and that's hard for me.
[00:01:49.310]One of the first things we can do is just to name it.
[00:01:51.690]I'm experiencing ambiguous loss.
[00:01:53.650]And that allows us to then take action.
[00:01:56.930]And some of the things we can do internally are to recognize how we're responding to it.
[00:02:02.250]Our body has a tendency to do things when we get in stressful situations.
[00:02:07.810]And when we went through the pandemic and everything that was associated with the last
[00:02:13.310]several years for us all, there's been an accumulation of stresses.
[00:02:18.630]And that accumulation of stresses can function like a loss.
[00:02:23.310]And so I think taking time to think about it and to write in journals is another good
[00:02:31.570]one.
[00:02:31.850]Because when our brain gets heavy in the kind of loss and heaviness of things, our brain
[00:02:38.110]goes into the side of the brain that's really in charge of emotions.
[00:02:41.830]Okay.
[00:02:42.270]And the emotion.
[00:02:43.270]The emotion side of the brain and the logic side of the brain are opposites.
[00:02:46.670]And so when we're heavy into emotion, one of the ways that we can get the logic part
[00:02:51.750]of the brain to re-engage is by talking or by writing.
[00:02:54.810]And so using language helps us keep the logical side of the brain engaged with the emotional
[00:03:01.810]side.
[00:03:02.290]And so when we feel that loss and we're feeling heavy and we're feeling overwhelmed and we're
[00:03:06.910]feeling sad, to be able to say to ourselves, I'm feeling sad because of this.
[00:03:11.850]And.
[00:03:13.150]I'm responding in a way that allows me to feel sad, but also I need to kind of work
[00:03:20.910]through some of those things and so I can write about it.
[00:03:23.170]♪ ♪
[00:03:30.170]♪ ♪

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