With many problems in life, it’s important to identify them before moving forward. Is that also the case with ambiguous loss?
Rural Wellness
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08/29/2024
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With many problems in life, it’s important to identify them before moving forward. Is that also the case with ambiguous loss?
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- [00:00:00.000]♪ ♪
- [00:00:07.000]It is, and I sort of say this with like red flag caution, okay?
- [00:00:18.000]So warning.
- [00:00:20.000]In Western culture, and particularly in our culture in America,
- [00:00:24.000]we have this sort of belief that if we can find a solution
- [00:00:30.000]and fix it, it'll get better.
- [00:00:32.000]And that's kind of just our culture.
- [00:00:34.000]That's not the case with ambiguous loss.
- [00:00:37.000]Ambiguous loss will always be present.
- [00:00:40.000]Sometimes it might feel like a pebble in your back pocket.
- [00:00:43.000]Other times it could feel like a boulder weighing you down.
- [00:00:46.000]It is a grief that will be consistent throughout your entire life.
- [00:00:50.000]Another example of this could be empty nesters, okay?
- [00:00:53.000]So...
- [00:00:54.000]There's excitement.
- [00:00:55.000]You're getting ready to send your kid off to graduation.
- [00:00:58.000]All of that is wonderful, but there's also the anticipatory grief.
- [00:01:02.000]And then that kid goes off to college, and now you're grieving.
- [00:01:06.280]grieving, right? That is always going to be the case now with that adult child. So there
- [00:01:10.890]will be moments throughout that lifetime of grieving. What is helpful in terms of ambiguous
- [00:01:17.550]loss is not so much trying to tame it or move on from it, but it's really about tempering
- [00:01:24.010]it. So, and tempering yourself, knowing that the way that I can best help myself cope with
- [00:01:30.790]ambiguous loss is to one, identify it for sure, because it is a real loss. It is a real
- [00:01:36.530]grief. And then after that is to say, are you familiar with the idea of like the serenity
- [00:01:41.910]prayer? Like, yeah, like accepting that this is what it's going to be, right? What I cannot
- [00:01:47.550]change. And then how do I find meaning moving forward? It's the both and thinking. Okay.
- [00:01:54.550]So I can both be sad that my kid has gone off to college and I have this new opportunity
- [00:02:00.790]to find meaning in my life for what that's going to look like moving forward.
- [00:02:03.970]♪ ♪
- [00:02:06.970]♪ ♪
- [00:02:09.970]♪ ♪
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