Pronouns 101

Gender and Sexuality Center Author

07/29/2024 Added

50 Plays

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Increase your knowledge regarding pronouns and transgender identities using inclusive language. Viewers will practice pronouns and learn tips and tricks to increase comfort using inclusive language and gender-inclusive pronouns.

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[00:00:01.740]Welcome to the Pronouns 101 presentation.
[00:00:05.777]My name is Paige Hespe and I'm an intern
[00:00:09.120]for the Gender and Sexuality Resource Center
[00:00:11.940]at the University of Nebraska Lincoln.
[00:00:14.970]First and foremost, I wanna thank you all
[00:00:17.280]for the time you've taken out of your day to be here
[00:00:19.770]and to watch this presentation.
[00:00:23.580]At the end of our time together today,
[00:00:25.980]our goals are to have one,
[00:00:28.650]increase your knowledge of gender-related terminology.
[00:00:32.340]Two, increase your understanding
[00:00:34.590]of diverse pronouns and how to use them.
[00:00:37.680]And three, increase your knowledge
[00:00:39.900]of various ways to communicate inclusivity.
[00:00:45.210]Now, for starters, let's unpack some terminology.
[00:00:53.220]This image is called the gender unicorn.
[00:00:56.880]This is a great visual to identify the differences
[00:00:59.910]between gender identity,
[00:01:01.890]gender expression, and sex assigned at birth.
[00:01:05.880]It also refers to sexual orientation
[00:01:08.520]and romantic attraction.
[00:01:12.120]So, starting at the top,
[00:01:14.190]gender identity is one's internal sense
[00:01:17.160]of being a man, woman, neither, or both.
[00:01:21.660]There is a little rainbow in the thought bubble,
[00:01:24.300]the bubble above the unicorn's head.
[00:01:26.716]The reason being is because our gender identity
[00:01:29.670]is about how we think about and view our own gender.
[00:01:33.600]And everyone else's view
[00:01:34.770]of our gender does not affect our gender identity.
[00:01:39.930]And you can see under gender identity,
[00:01:42.000]there are several continua.
[00:01:44.070]So, there is a starting point, but there is no ending point.
[00:01:48.090]And so, the three continua are female, woman, girl,
[00:01:52.620]male, man, boy, and the other genders, or non-binary.
[00:01:58.080]And by listing three different spectra,
[00:02:00.630]people can place themselves anywhere on one spectrum
[00:02:03.930]without having to detract from another spectrum.
[00:02:07.620]So, identifying as, quote, unquote, "more of a woman",
[00:02:11.280]doesn't mean that someone
[00:02:12.450]has to identify as, quote, unquote,
[00:02:14.647]"less of a man", and so on.
[00:02:18.090]So, someone might put themselves high on being a woman,
[00:02:21.360]maybe low on being a man,
[00:02:23.730]and maybe put themselves halfway on other genders.
[00:02:27.690]It is a great way to be able
[00:02:29.190]to think about gender in a way that is not binary.
[00:02:33.870]For transgender people, their sex assigned at birth
[00:02:37.470]and their own internal sense
[00:02:39.150]of gender identity are not the same.
[00:02:43.623]The second thing on here is gender expression,
[00:02:47.760]and you can see there's a green dot.
[00:02:49.628]And then, around the unicorn, there are also green dots.
[00:02:54.270]So, gender expression is how we show our gender
[00:02:57.570]and how we express it to the world.
[00:03:00.690]Some of the most common ways
[00:03:02.280]to think about gender expression
[00:03:04.080]are our clothing and the way we style our hair.
[00:03:07.710]So, there's also a number of other ways
[00:03:09.540]that we can express gender,
[00:03:11.370]such as through our tone of voice
[00:03:13.140]or our mannerisms and behaviors.
[00:03:16.290]And you can see that the three spectra are feminine,
[00:03:19.470]masculine, and then other or androgynous.
[00:03:23.280]And again, someone can place themselves
[00:03:25.410]anywhere on any of these spectra.
[00:03:28.594]So, if someone identifies as a woman,
[00:03:31.470]they don't necessarily
[00:03:32.550]have to be super high in feminine gender expression.
[00:03:36.027]Someone can identify as a woman,
[00:03:38.970]but their gender expression
[00:03:40.107]may appear traditionally masculine or androgynous.
[00:03:44.430]That's why these concepts are visually separated,
[00:03:47.430]because gender identity and gender expression are different.
[00:03:52.286]Gender expression and how it is labeled
[00:03:55.140]can also vary greatly from person to person and by culture.
[00:03:59.790]What is considered a feminine expression in one culture
[00:04:02.790]or language may be considered masculine
[00:04:05.310]or gender-neutral in another.
[00:04:08.832]Next, there is sex assigned at birth.
[00:04:12.480]You can see that it is a DNA helix
[00:04:15.090]and that DNA helix corresponds
[00:04:17.460]to the helix on the lower half of the unicorn's body.
[00:04:21.750]This is also the only section that is not on a continuum.
[00:04:25.590]There's female, male, and then intersex.
[00:04:28.980]And essentially, this is a label referring to the sex
[00:04:32.010]that is assigned at birth,
[00:04:33.720]hence the phrase sex assigned at birth.
[00:04:36.870]So, the doctor will say it's a boy or it's a girl,
[00:04:40.410]or this baby's intersex,
[00:04:42.510]and that's what will go on someone's birth certificate.
[00:04:46.500]Intersex is a term that refers to people
[00:04:48.990]who are born with a combination of sex characteristics.
[00:04:52.950]This could be a combination of sex chromosomes
[00:04:55.500]such as someone having XXY chromosomes.
[00:04:59.130]Or this could present as combined anatomy
[00:05:01.406]such as a person having both ovarian
[00:05:03.960]and testicular tissue in their body.
[00:05:07.557]Sometimes surgery is performed shortly
[00:05:10.350]after the birth of an intersex child
[00:05:12.780]to change the appearance of external genitalia
[00:05:15.422]to fit more traditionally
[00:05:17.010]with that of a female or male child.
[00:05:20.070]And then, their birth certificate may read as male
[00:05:22.800]or female rather than intersex.
[00:05:25.740]However, these surgeries have the potential later in life
[00:05:28.740]to cause health issues
[00:05:30.060]and significant emotional and psychological distress.
[00:05:33.630]And again, sex assigned at birth
[00:05:35.670]does not determine someone's gender identity
[00:05:38.460]and does not determine someone's gender expression.
[00:05:43.377]And then, physical attraction
[00:05:45.660]and emotional attraction
[00:05:47.040]have the little hearts next to them.
[00:05:49.350]And on the unicorn,
[00:05:50.490]these two little hearts have slight overlap as physical
[00:05:54.270]and emotional attraction are often talked about together
[00:05:57.240]with the phrase sexual orientation.
[00:06:00.630]Physical attraction generally refers
[00:06:02.940]to a sexual attraction to someone.
[00:06:04.950]It's more of the instantaneous
[00:06:06.750]aesthetical piece to attraction,
[00:06:09.120]whereas emotional attraction
[00:06:10.680]is more of that romantic bond to someone.
[00:06:13.680]We talk about them together,
[00:06:15.000]because for a lot of people,
[00:06:16.860]they're going to overlap at least somewhat,
[00:06:19.410]but not necessarily for everyone.
[00:06:21.938]For example, if someone identifies as asexual,
[00:06:25.855]they might put themselves down near the bottom
[00:06:28.470]of all three physical attraction spectra,
[00:06:31.230]because they experience low
[00:06:32.940]or no physical attraction to others.
[00:06:35.730]But they may still indicate high emotional attraction
[00:06:38.550]to some genders despite this.
[00:06:42.297]And if someone identifies as a romantic,
[00:06:45.240]they might put themselves near the bottom
[00:06:47.070]of all three emotional attraction spectra,
[00:06:49.770]because they experience low or no romantic attraction.
[00:06:53.910]But that doesn't necessarily mean
[00:06:55.302]that they don't experience physical
[00:06:57.150]or sexual attraction to some genders.
[00:07:03.210]Here are the definitions
[00:07:04.500]of some of the concepts we covered on the previous slide.
[00:07:07.560]So, again, gender identity
[00:07:09.630]refers to someone's innate sense of their gender.
[00:07:12.613]Gender expression refers to how someone
[00:07:15.300]chooses to express their gender externally.
[00:07:18.552]Sexual orientation refers to an individual's inherent sense
[00:07:22.800]of emotional, romantic,
[00:07:24.420]or physical attraction to other people.
[00:07:27.600]And sex assigned at birth refers to the sex
[00:07:29.970]that a doctor assigns
[00:07:31.110]to a child at their birth based on their external genitalia.
[00:07:36.180]Terms that describe specific identities
[00:07:38.640]will be explained on the next slide.
[00:07:44.370]Next, here is an overview of terms
[00:07:47.340]that will be important for our conversation.
[00:07:51.690]Transgender refers to a person
[00:07:53.850]whose gender identity does not traditionally correspond
[00:07:57.272]with their sex assigned at birth.
[00:08:00.540]Some people use the word transgender
[00:08:02.362]as well as the term gender-diverse
[00:08:05.010]as umbrella terms to refer to people
[00:08:07.350]who do not identify as cisgender,
[00:08:09.990]including those who identify as non-binary or gender fluid.
[00:08:15.240]Gender fluid refers to someone who identifies
[00:08:18.060]with different genders at different times
[00:08:20.370]depending on how they feel.
[00:08:23.070]Non-binary is a label often used by individuals
[00:08:26.040]who do not identify as cisgender or as binary trans folks,
[00:08:31.440]like identifying as a trans woman or a trans man.
[00:08:36.210]Non-binary might encompass gender fluidity,
[00:08:39.450]a lack of identification with gender,
[00:08:42.210]and/or identifying as a combination of genders.
[00:08:47.829]Cisgender refers to a person
[00:08:50.183]whose gender identity corresponds
[00:08:52.740]with the sex they were assigned at birth.
[00:08:55.260]So, if I was born
[00:08:56.550]and the doctor marked my birth certificate as female
[00:08:59.850]and I also identify as a girl,
[00:09:02.220]then that means I'm cisgender.
[00:09:05.280]AFAB and AMAB stand for assigned female at birth
[00:09:10.200]and assigned male at birth, respectively.
[00:09:13.110]These terms refer
[00:09:14.220]to the sex an individual is assigned at birth.
[00:09:17.850]These phrases are often used by trans
[00:09:20.400]and gender=diverse folks
[00:09:21.930]to discuss their sex assigned at birth
[00:09:24.420]without equating this sex with their gender identity.
[00:09:29.340]A pronoun is a word that refers to a singular person
[00:09:33.060]or several people without explicitly using their names.
[00:09:37.650]Examples of pronouns would be she, him, and them.
[00:09:41.794]But words like we and us are pronouns as well.
[00:09:46.500]This is why it can be confusing
[00:09:48.480]if you've ever heard someone
[00:09:49.740]say that they don't believe in or use pronouns.
[00:09:53.430]It must be untrue if they speak the English language.
[00:09:57.060]Our language requires us to use pronouns
[00:09:59.760]like we and us all the time, so we all use pronouns.
[00:10:06.597]To misgender someone
[00:10:08.086]means to refer to them with their incorrect gender.
[00:10:12.420]This could include using the wrong pronouns for someone
[00:10:15.780]or using an incorrect label like referring to someone
[00:10:18.930]as a woman when they do not identify as such.
[00:10:22.650]To deadname someone means to call a transgender
[00:10:25.500]or gender-diverse person
[00:10:27.028]by the name they held before transitioning
[00:10:30.405]or changing their name, instead of referring to them
[00:10:33.930]using the name that they now have.
[00:10:40.530]Now, let's get into the importance
[00:10:42.330]of different pronouns and how to use them.
[00:10:48.353]First, let's address some common questions
[00:10:51.810]about pronouns and gender-neutral pronouns.
[00:10:54.990]For example, why do pronouns matter?
[00:10:57.750]Some may argue that pronouns are just words,
[00:11:00.930]but all language serves a purpose.
[00:11:03.270]The purpose of language is for people
[00:11:05.400]to communicate their thoughts
[00:11:07.020]in a way that can be understood by others.
[00:11:11.520]And in the English language, pronouns are gendered,
[00:11:14.057]meaning that these little words like she and he
[00:11:17.700]communicate a person's
[00:11:18.930]entire gender identity instantaneously.
[00:11:22.980]Pronouns matter because in addition
[00:11:25.320]to being used to address a person or people,
[00:11:28.312]they can communicate inclusivity
[00:11:30.510]and respect for others' gender in an instant.
[00:11:34.680]Such a short word
[00:11:35.670]can actually send quite an impactful message.
[00:11:40.286]Why do people use gender-neutral pronouns?
[00:11:44.010]Well, as we discussed previously,
[00:11:45.931]some people do not identify
[00:11:47.802]within the traditional gender binary.
[00:11:51.420]For a person who identifies as a combination of genders
[00:11:54.714]outside of the binary,
[00:11:56.670]or doesn't identify with gender at all,
[00:11:59.640]the pronouns she and he
[00:12:01.344]may not accurately portray their gender identity.
[00:12:06.086]While some non-binary people
[00:12:07.750]do still use she and he pronouns,
[00:12:11.370]many non-binary and gender-diverse individuals
[00:12:14.700]find that more gender-neutral pronouns,
[00:12:16.980]such as they, better capture their gender identity.
[00:12:23.177]Another common question is,
[00:12:25.620]why should I use others' gender-neutral pronouns?
[00:12:28.290]Isn't that a pretty big ask? I don't see why it's important.
[00:12:33.000]Let's zoom out for a second
[00:12:34.290]and think about how we use cisgender people's pronouns.
[00:12:39.180]Let's say you identify as a woman
[00:12:41.250]and you use she/her pronouns.
[00:12:43.470]If the people around you
[00:12:44.640]repeatedly started referring to you using he/him pronouns,
[00:12:48.510]despite your continued requests for she/her pronouns,
[00:12:52.260]you'd probably feel pretty ignored and hurt after a while.
[00:12:55.830]This hurts because it ignores the way you define
[00:12:58.380]and understand yourself.
[00:13:01.020]Most of us don't do this when a cisgender woman
[00:13:03.690]wants to be referred to with she/her pronouns,
[00:13:06.990]because we intrinsically know
[00:13:08.640]that doing so would be disrespectful
[00:13:11.250]and would invalidate her right to self-define.
[00:13:15.240]Such basic courtesy and respect for the right to self-define
[00:13:18.960]is exactly what transgender
[00:13:20.670]and gender-diverse people are asking of you too.
[00:13:25.110]So, continuously using the incorrect pronoun
[00:13:28.530]for both cisgender and transgender people,
[00:13:31.770]or misgendering them,
[00:13:33.075]can send the message, I know you better than yourself.
[00:13:37.530]And if someone is misgendered repeatedly,
[00:13:40.110]it's likely they will soon feel pretty uncomfortable
[00:13:42.660]around the people who are misgendering them,
[00:13:45.270]which breaks down relationships over time.
[00:13:48.405]Language is used to forge connections with others,
[00:13:52.080]but using incorrect pronouns for a person
[00:13:54.500]communicates that their gender identity
[00:13:57.210]is invalid or unimportant.
[00:14:00.035]While it can be confusing at first, and mistakes happen,
[00:14:03.654]the relatively small act of using the correct pronouns
[00:14:07.380]for someone communicates respect for their right
[00:14:10.410]to self-define and works to strengthen relationships.
[00:14:17.520]Now that we've talked about the importance of pronouns,
[00:14:20.940]let's go over the most common gender-neutral pronouns
[00:14:24.180]and how to use them.
[00:14:27.120]They/them are particularly common gender-neutral pronouns.
[00:14:31.170]But we'll talk
[00:14:32.003]about these specific pronouns more in just a moment.
[00:14:35.310]Neo pronouns, new pronouns being introduced
[00:14:38.520]into our language,
[00:14:39.900]are another example of gender-neutral pronouns.
[00:14:43.500]An example of these are xe/xem/xyr pronouns.
[00:14:48.180]Remember, pronouns are not preferred. They're expected.
[00:14:52.770]Additionally, some people use multiple pronouns.
[00:14:55.710]For example, if you see that someone uses she/they pronouns,
[00:15:00.180]that means that they're comfortable
[00:15:01.740]with both she series pronouns and they series pronouns.
[00:15:06.480]We'll practice how to use multiple pronouns in a minute.
[00:15:10.530]Sometimes the pronoun that is listed first,
[00:15:13.121]in this case, she,
[00:15:14.768]indicates that a person prefers that pronoun
[00:15:17.880]over the one that is listed second, in this case, they,
[00:15:21.660]but that's not necessarily the case for everyone,
[00:15:24.270]and it varies from person to person.
[00:15:28.865]Because some pronouns such as he
[00:15:31.440]and she have been ingrained into society,
[00:15:34.770]the best way to get comfortable
[00:15:36.390]with gender-neutral pronouns is to practice,
[00:15:38.970]and we're about to practice together in a minute.
[00:15:42.330]An example of how you can practice the use
[00:15:44.520]of these pronouns on your own though
[00:15:46.680]is to practice referring to all people
[00:15:48.960]whose gender you don't know with they/them pronouns.
[00:15:53.310]For example, if a colleague tells you a story
[00:15:56.130]about a student named Zach,
[00:15:57.960]try referring to Zach with they/them pronouns
[00:16:00.900]as the name Zach does not automatically mean
[00:16:03.810]that this person identifies as a man
[00:16:05.985]or uses he/him pronouns.
[00:16:09.060]Over time, practicing and rehearsing
[00:16:11.790]will help in overcoming the automatic response.
[00:16:15.517]We'll talk about how to address being corrected
[00:16:18.210]about someone's pronouns
[00:16:19.470]and how to correct others in a few minutes.
[00:16:27.060]Let's focus in on they/them pronouns for a minute.
[00:16:30.690]As you've probably heard of people,
[00:16:32.340]especially gender-diverse people
[00:16:34.680]identifying with these pronouns,
[00:16:37.890]some have argued that the singular use
[00:16:40.200]of these pronouns is ungrammatical.
[00:16:43.007]Not only is this claim incorrect,
[00:16:45.510]but this argument
[00:16:46.343]is frequently followed by transphobic ideas
[00:16:49.260]and rhetoric such as using this ungrammatical claim
[00:16:52.572]to argue that transgender people
[00:16:54.930]are, quote, unquote, "asking for too much".
[00:16:58.710]It's actually not a big ask at all,
[00:17:01.020]and the singular use of they is not new.
[00:17:04.320]You and me and everyone who speaks the English language
[00:17:07.440]has used the pronoun they in the singular before.
[00:17:12.150]English speakers have long used the pronoun they
[00:17:15.270]in the singular
[00:17:16.170]to refer to individuals with an unknown gender.
[00:17:19.890]For example, if a friend was talking to you
[00:17:22.950]about her professor
[00:17:23.940]leading the class out of the building during a fire drill,
[00:17:27.270]you might ask a follow-up question such as,
[00:17:30.180]where did they take you?
[00:17:32.070]In this example, you are using a singular they pronoun
[00:17:35.700]to refer to your friend's professor
[00:17:37.800]whose gender you don't know.
[00:17:40.320]Therefore, using they/them pronouns
[00:17:43.020]to refer to a singular non-binary
[00:17:45.390]or genderqueer individual has always been grammatical,
[00:17:49.350]and the singular use of this pronoun
[00:17:51.300]has been recognized by Miriam Webster for years.
[00:17:56.115]This also means that while it can be confusing at first
[00:17:59.760]to refer to a person you know with they/them pronouns,
[00:18:03.300]you can definitely handle it after some practice.
[00:18:10.590]Here is a guide
[00:18:11.760]to help you utilize a number of different pronouns.
[00:18:15.570]To help you understand
[00:18:16.710]how the pronouns would look and sound,
[00:18:19.260]I will give you some examples below
[00:18:21.330]using they/them pronouns.
[00:18:23.910]They laughed at the joke.
[00:18:26.250]They gave them a gift.
[00:18:29.310]Their favorite color is blue.
[00:18:32.400]The card is theirs.
[00:18:34.920]They think highly of themself.
[00:18:40.110]Fae, per, and zie pronouns are all examples
[00:18:44.100]of the neo pronouns we defined previously.
[00:18:48.090]Some of these may be new to you,
[00:18:49.620]so we'll provide a few examples
[00:18:51.360]of how to use them in the next few slides.
[00:18:54.540]If someone tells you
[00:18:55.560]that they use pronouns that you haven't heard of before,
[00:18:58.770]Googling them will often provide results
[00:19:01.110]on how to grammatically use those pronouns.
[00:19:07.145]Okay, now that we've reviewed different types of pronouns
[00:19:11.097]and their importance, let's start practicing.
[00:19:14.670]In each example, we will take the provided pronouns
[00:19:17.640]and place them into the sentence.
[00:19:20.280]For this one, we have been told
[00:19:22.200]that Jamal uses they/them pronouns.
[00:19:25.050]So, our sentences with blank starts.
[00:19:27.870]Jamal came with me to the movies,
[00:19:30.300]but blank forgot blank wallet.
[00:19:33.720]To fill this in with they/them pronouns
[00:19:35.730]and speak this out loud,
[00:19:37.380]we would say, Jamal came with me to the movies,
[00:19:40.950]but they forgot their wallet,
[00:19:43.350]so I bought their ticket for them.
[00:19:46.380]Otherwise, they would've missed the movie.
[00:19:52.830]Our next person, Angela, also uses they/them pronouns.
[00:19:57.480]So, here, we would say this
[00:19:58.860]as Angela missed their last appointment.
[00:20:03.900]Next, we're told that Janet uses zie/zim pronouns.
[00:20:08.190]So, for this sentence,
[00:20:09.390]we would say Janet's sister co-owns a puppy with zim.
[00:20:19.050]Finally, Alex says
[00:20:20.930]that they use both she and they pronouns.
[00:20:24.840]This means that we can mix and match.
[00:20:26.760]Like in the first sentence,
[00:20:28.179]Alex was walking their dog
[00:20:30.690]when she saw a bird fly right over their head.
[00:20:34.860]Or we can stick to using
[00:20:36.720]one of the multiple pronouns provided.
[00:20:39.660]Alex was walking her dog
[00:20:41.850]when she saw a bird fly right over her head.
[00:20:45.990]Again, for some people,
[00:20:47.760]a greater preference is placed on the pronoun
[00:20:50.340]that is listed first, which would be she in this case.
[00:20:54.270]And for others, there might be no preference
[00:20:56.400]between the multiple pronouns.
[00:21:00.390]Again, we understand that using new pronouns
[00:21:03.930]or even old pronouns in a new way can be confusing
[00:21:07.650]and even a little intimidating at first.
[00:21:10.350]It can be nerve-wracking trying to use new pronouns
[00:21:13.470]as many of us do not want
[00:21:14.970]to offend the person we're speaking to or about.
[00:21:18.690]We are grateful
[00:21:19.590]for your well-meaning,intentions and desire to learn.
[00:21:23.010]And many transgender
[00:21:24.014]and gender-diverse people can tell
[00:21:26.430]when you are well-intentioned as well.
[00:21:29.340]Keep practicing
[00:21:30.570]and practicing compassion for yourself and others.
[00:21:37.440]So, now, we've gone over how to use pronouns
[00:21:40.260]and we've practiced.
[00:21:42.090]But what happens if you make a mistake
[00:21:43.770]or when you make a mistake,
[00:21:45.420]and accidentally use the wrong pronouns
[00:21:48.030]or misgender someone?
[00:21:50.280]Well, we have three steps to follow
[00:21:52.620]if you make a mistake and/or are corrected.
[00:21:56.250]The first is to apologize.
[00:21:57.984]This requires some non-defensiveness on your end.
[00:22:01.950]Remember, you're not apologizing for your intentions.
[00:22:05.070]We know you are not intending to cause harm,
[00:22:07.681]but you are apologizing for your impact.
[00:22:11.040]Even when we have the best intentions,
[00:22:13.680]we may still make a mistake
[00:22:15.473]and accidentally cause another person harm.
[00:22:18.870]That harm is what you're apologizing for.
[00:22:22.530]Make your apology clear but brief.
[00:22:25.350]We don't wanna repeatedly apologize
[00:22:27.480]or drag it out so much that the other person
[00:22:30.180]who was harmed now feels responsible for consoling you.
[00:22:34.920]For example, a simple I'm sorry or so sorry will do.
[00:22:41.700]Second, correct yourself.
[00:22:44.070]You can repeat your sentence using the correct pronouns
[00:22:47.130]or you can just make a conscientious effort
[00:22:49.380]to use the correct pronouns
[00:22:50.940]for the duration of the conversation.
[00:22:53.700]And third, move on in the conversation.
[00:22:56.850]Again, there's no need to continuously apologize.
[00:23:01.320]Apologize once with compassion for the other person
[00:23:05.040]and move on with compassion for yourself and your mistake.
[00:23:09.595]So, for example, in our previous example,
[00:23:13.140]we had Angela who used they/them pronouns.
[00:23:16.710]If I were to accidentally mess up Angela's pronouns
[00:23:19.830]and be corrected, I would say,
[00:23:22.410]I'm sorry, Angela missed their last appointment.
[00:23:26.190]And then, I would continue the conversation.
[00:23:28.373]You can also say,
[00:23:30.030]thank you for correcting me, if you'd like.
[00:23:33.870]Similarly, if you're correcting another person
[00:23:36.600]about someone's pronouns or your own pronouns,
[00:23:39.600]we recommend offering a gentle reminder
[00:23:42.005]like Angela uses they/them, by the way,
[00:23:45.510]and remembering the correcting golden rule,
[00:23:47.795]correct others how you would wanna be corrected.
[00:23:51.540]So, after providing this person with a brief,
[00:23:54.780]kind reminder, simply move on in the conversation.
[00:24:02.940]Now, let's talk about some ways to demonstrate inclusivity,
[00:24:06.261]including through our language and our actions.
[00:24:13.500]When meeting someone new, introduce yourself with your name
[00:24:16.740]and pronouns and ask others for theirs as well.
[00:24:20.430]For example, I would say, hi, my name is Paige.
[00:24:24.360]I use they/them pronouns.
[00:24:26.160]I wanna make sure I'm addressing you correctly.
[00:24:28.740]How would you like to be addressed?
[00:24:31.380]For digital introductions,
[00:24:33.090]you can share pronouns in your email signatures,
[00:24:35.880]Zoom profiles, and other online profiles.
[00:24:39.750]When in a group, invite everyone
[00:24:41.850]to share their pronouns and name when giving introductions.
[00:24:47.370]Sometimes, the name listed on documentation,
[00:24:50.010]such as course rosters
[00:24:51.510]or government identification, is incorrect or outdated.
[00:24:56.040]So, another way to communicate inclusivity
[00:24:58.830]and promote accuracy
[00:25:00.630]is to ask others to tell you their name.
[00:25:03.990]This will make it easier
[00:25:05.100]to refer to everyone correctly the first time
[00:25:07.836]and ease the burden on someone
[00:25:09.960]whose pronouns or name are often mistaken.
[00:25:14.070]It also makes it easier for everyone
[00:25:16.140]to join in on the discussion by lowering anxiety
[00:25:19.530]about how to refer to someone
[00:25:21.570]and lowering anxiety about being misgendered.
[00:25:24.780]Make it a norm.
[00:25:26.460]By introducing yourself with your pronouns,
[00:25:28.508]you are also introducing inclusivity into the space.
[00:25:36.120]Another idea is to use inclusive non-gendered language
[00:25:40.560]if we don't know the gender identity
[00:25:42.480]or pronouns of someone around or with us
[00:25:46.380]If you're in a group of people
[00:25:47.970]who you know are all cisgender girls,
[00:25:50.430]then it's perfectly fine
[00:25:51.630]to refer to everyone as girls or ladies.
[00:25:55.170]We just want
[00:25:56.003]to avoid making assumptions through gendered language.
[00:25:59.550]For example, instead of using the terms,
[00:26:02.460]boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife,
[00:26:05.910]use the words partner or spouse.
[00:26:08.910]Instead of addressing a group of people
[00:26:11.010]as ladies and gentlemen or boys and girls,
[00:26:13.920]say people of all genders or everyone.
[00:26:18.491]Instead of saying phrases in which man is used as a verb,
[00:26:23.430]like man the booth, say staff the booth.
[00:26:27.600]Instead of saying, hey, guys,
[00:26:29.490]say, hey, everyone or hey, y'all.
[00:26:32.730]Instead of saying things like mankind
[00:26:35.160]or man to refer to all of humanity, say humankind or people.
[00:26:41.010]Additionally, instead of using the phrase his/her in speech
[00:26:45.210]or writing to refer to a hypothetical person,
[00:26:48.720]use a gender-neutral option like the singular they.
[00:26:52.530]So, instead of saying something like,
[00:26:54.660]each student should bring his or her own pencil,
[00:26:58.050]say, each student should bring their own pencil.
[00:27:02.940]Additionally, a common gender-neutral prefix is mix,
[00:27:06.660]which can be used instead of Mrs. Ms. or Mr.
[00:27:11.560]You can also drop gendered honorifics like sir and ma'am,
[00:27:16.350]or ask people how they would like you
[00:27:18.240]to refer to them with honorifics.
[00:27:21.117]Small changes to make your language more inclusive
[00:27:24.450]can go a long way
[00:27:25.680]in showing someone how much you support them and care.
[00:27:31.432]In addition to using someone's correct pronouns,
[00:27:35.310]there are other things you can do to be inclusive.
[00:27:38.640]The first is making your pronouns visible.
[00:27:42.360]This includes in digital spaces like your email signature,
[00:27:46.470]social media bios, your Zoom name, and in physical spaces
[00:27:50.992]like having your pronouns
[00:27:52.800]added to a nameplate at your office.
[00:27:56.340]Second, ask for others' pronouns
[00:27:58.770]and share your own when meeting someone new.
[00:28:02.040]This can let the other person know
[00:28:03.690]it's okay to share their own
[00:28:05.370]and reduce the chances of anyone being misgendered.
[00:28:09.960]When asking for others' pronouns, remember to simply ask,
[00:28:13.620]what are your pronouns or what pronouns do you use?
[00:28:17.490]And don't ask about a person's preferred pronouns,
[00:28:20.790]because again, pronouns are expected, not preferred.
[00:28:26.280]Third, listen with intention
[00:28:28.290]and do your best to remember someone's pronouns.
[00:28:30.870]You can always ask again if you've forgotten.
[00:28:34.650]Fourth, when you hear
[00:28:36.000]or see someone misgender another person, correct them
[00:28:39.570]and remind them of the person's correct pronouns.
[00:28:43.110]You can always ask the people around you
[00:28:45.180]whose pronouns are frequently mistaken
[00:28:47.460]if they would prefer you to correct others in public
[00:28:50.580]or in private, which might help spare them
[00:28:53.490]some of the emotional
[00:28:54.480]and mental burden of being misgendered frequently.
[00:28:59.040]Fifth, add all gender options when creating documents.
[00:29:03.150]If someone has to mark their gender,
[00:29:05.460]make sure they're not stuck with male
[00:29:07.380]and female as their only options.
[00:29:10.290]Including a write-in option for gender on paper
[00:29:13.560]and electronic forms can be a great way to fix this.
[00:29:17.730]And finally, don't be afraid to bring up gender issues
[00:29:21.210]and advocate for the inclusion
[00:29:23.040]of all genders in your educational,
[00:29:25.311]vocational, and personal circles.
[00:29:32.910]If you're looking for more resources
[00:29:35.100]and information on chosen names
[00:29:37.680]and gender identity policy, check out these QR codes.
[00:29:42.150]The one labeled EM 40, NU System will take you
[00:29:46.680]to an overview of the University of Nebraska's chosen name
[00:29:50.760]and gender identity policies.
[00:29:53.710]The QR code labeled, Digital Resources
[00:29:57.132]Gender and Sexuality Center,
[00:29:59.670]will take you to the online resources page
[00:30:02.100]created by the UNL Gender and Sexuality Center,
[00:30:05.730]which includes resources
[00:30:07.350]about LGBTQA+ student organizations,
[00:30:10.992]LGBTQA+ resources in Nebraska,
[00:30:14.700]a trans guide with a list of resources specifically made
[00:30:18.600]for transgender and gender-diverse folks, and much more.
[00:30:28.350]In short, here is what we hope
[00:30:30.210]that you will take away from this presentation.
[00:30:33.132]Ask for others' pronouns
[00:30:35.130]and share your own in digital and physical spaces.
[00:30:38.376]Doing this lets others know that there're welcome
[00:30:41.370]and will be respected by you.
[00:30:44.280]Practice using others' pronouns
[00:30:46.140]and do so with compassion for yourself and others.
[00:30:49.320]Mistakes happen, and when they do,
[00:30:51.780]apologize with compassion for the impact of your mistake,
[00:30:55.650]and move on with compassion
[00:30:57.210]for yourself rather than ruminating on your mistake.
[00:31:01.650]Use the strategies we covered in this presentation
[00:31:04.212]to make the spaces that you're in
[00:31:06.300]digital and physical, more inclusive.
[00:31:12.720]Thank you for tuning in.
[00:31:14.010]We really hope
[00:31:14.843]that you learned something from this presentation.
[00:31:16.890]We hope to see you again at one of our future presentations.
[00:31:20.820]This QR code allows you
[00:31:22.620]to leave feedback about the presentation.
[00:31:25.200]And on the other side is some of our contact information,
[00:31:28.860]including our website, our email address, our Facebook,
[00:31:33.041]our Instagram, our physical office locations,
[00:31:37.170]and our office phone number.
[00:31:39.540]Thank you so much for watching.

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Pronouns 101

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