S1E11: Unwrapping the Meaning of Gifts with Children
Nebraska Extension Early Childhood Program Area-Emily Manning, Dr. Holly Hatton, Ingrid Lindal, Erin Kampbell, Linda Reddish, LaDonna Werth, and Katie Krause
Author
12/19/2023
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Description
Our holiday series concludes with Extension Educators Sarah Paulos and LaDonna Werth joining host Emily Manning to discuss the meaning of the holidays and gifts. You will hear about ways to help children understand the purpose of gifts at a young age, and how we can create memories that will last a lifetime.
Resources:
Child.unl.edu
earlychildhood@unl.edu
The following music was used for this media project:
Music: Afterparty Review by Sascha Ende
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/2962-afterparty-review
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
"Wholesome" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Searchable Transcript
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- [00:00:00.209](upbeat music)
- [00:00:08.700]This is The Good Life in Early Life,
- [00:00:11.610]a production of Nebraska Extension.
- [00:00:13.590]I'm your host Emily Manning,
- [00:00:15.240]an early childhood extension educator
- [00:00:17.250]located in Seward County.
- [00:00:18.900]'Tis the season of gift giving.
- [00:00:20.520]Many cultural celebrations occur
- [00:00:22.530]during the month of December,
- [00:00:24.000]Hanukkah began on December 7th,
- [00:00:26.100]the winter solstice is December 21st,
- [00:00:28.590]Christmas is the 25th,
- [00:00:29.910]Boxing Day is the 26th,
- [00:00:31.380]and Kwanzaa also begins on the 26th, just to name a few.
- [00:00:35.160]Many of these deeply meaningful cultural celebrations
- [00:00:37.917]include gift exchanges,
- [00:00:40.380]even though it may not be the main focus
- [00:00:42.900]of that celebration.
- [00:00:44.370]Our episode today will focus on how to teach children
- [00:00:47.250]about giving and receiving gifts.
- [00:00:49.740]The two guests who are joining me
- [00:00:51.030]will also share some ideas
- [00:00:52.410]about what kinds of gifts to get for children.
- [00:00:57.210]Our first guest is an early childhood extension educator
- [00:01:00.720]who covers Dixon, Dakota, Wayne,
- [00:01:03.030]Pierce, and Thurston counties.
- [00:01:04.920]She's enthusiastic about teaching science,
- [00:01:07.440]nature, and environmental awareness
- [00:01:09.360]to both kids and adults in her community.
- [00:01:11.610]She holds a bachelor's in music administration
- [00:01:14.460]from the University of Alabama,
- [00:01:16.080]and a master's in education in early childhood
- [00:01:18.420]and elementary education from Auburn University, Montgomery.
- [00:01:22.020]She is currently pursuing her PhD
- [00:01:24.180]in child, youth and family studies.
- [00:01:26.040]Welcome to the show, Sarah Pollis.
- [00:01:27.718]Thanks for having me.
- [00:01:29.040]This is awesome. Yeah, thanks for being here.
- [00:01:31.350]We're excited to have you.
- [00:01:32.550]Our second guest
- [00:01:33.690]is also an early childhood extension educator.
- [00:01:36.150]She serves the North Central counties in Nebraska
- [00:01:38.790]and holds a bachelor's degree
- [00:01:40.080]in family and consumer science education,
- [00:01:42.090]and a master's degree in education
- [00:01:43.950]from the University of Nebraska, Kearney.
- [00:01:45.870]She is recognized
- [00:01:46.770]for the Fit and Healthy Kids online series.
- [00:01:49.230]Her work combines technology and a future-oriented approach
- [00:01:53.190]to bring research-based information to life.
- [00:01:55.890]Welcome to the show, LaDonna Werth.
- [00:01:57.600]Thank you, Emily.
- [00:01:58.470]I'm excited to be here.
- [00:01:59.970]I'm excited to have both of you here on the show.
- [00:02:03.120]As you can tell, I'm with my extension colleagues again
- [00:02:05.790]to bring you our last episode in our holiday series.
- [00:02:08.865]So, ladies, as we're getting started,
- [00:02:11.250]I have to share a story with you
- [00:02:12.690]that I was thinking of last night
- [00:02:14.550]that I did when I was a kid.
- [00:02:16.410]So it is around this time of year
- [00:02:18.450]and I took one of those tubs of lotion,
- [00:02:21.450]like the big cylinders of lotion,
- [00:02:23.798]and I spread it all across my bed,
- [00:02:27.720]and in all the sheets and everything.
- [00:02:30.150]And my mom was so exasperated and like flabbergasted,
- [00:02:35.228]just like completely shocked,
- [00:02:37.560]like "Why would you do this?"
- [00:02:39.240]Oh my gosh, I hope you had a mattress protector.
- [00:02:42.180]Yeah, I think I did, definitely.
- [00:02:45.810]But, yeah, so that's how I found out that I had eczema
- [00:02:51.480]'cause my mom was like, "Why would you do that?"
- [00:02:53.400]I'm like, "Well my skin's so dry."
- [00:02:57.390]So, yeah, I was just thinking about that
- [00:02:58.430]as I was pulling out my tub of thick lotion last night
- [00:03:01.646]after I got outta the shower.
- [00:03:03.660]I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I did that as a kid."
- [00:03:05.753]You just wanted to moisturize
- [00:03:07.230]while you were sleeping,
- [00:03:08.100]so that's fair. Yeah.
- [00:03:09.630]I wanted to multitask, for sure.
- [00:03:12.540]I was thinking about like Christmas time
- [00:03:14.580]and some of the things.
- [00:03:15.540]So, like I grew up Texas
- [00:03:17.430]and so we did not have snow or cold weather really.
- [00:03:21.270]I don't remember ever even owning like a winter coat.
- [00:03:24.300]I think I had one,
- [00:03:26.004]but it was because we went on vacation one year
- [00:03:28.410]to somewhere that was colder.
- [00:03:29.520]So we didn't have any kind of winter weather.
- [00:03:33.120]And one time we had this ice storm
- [00:03:34.980]and it was the coolest thing
- [00:03:36.570]because all of the, like, plants, all the tree limbs,
- [00:03:41.070]the branches, everything were like covered
- [00:03:42.750]in this layer of ice and everything looked so pretty.
- [00:03:45.960]And I remember going outside in shorts
- [00:03:47.700]'cause it still wasn't that cold.
- [00:03:49.530]And so I was out there,
- [00:03:50.430]like, looking at all my mom's plants on the porch
- [00:03:52.500]and they all had this like layer of ice,
- [00:03:54.480]and it looks so pretty.
- [00:03:55.470]So now, like, when you drive down the road here in Nebraska
- [00:03:58.590]after like it snows or something
- [00:03:59.970]and everything's so shiny and pretty and glittery,
- [00:04:02.550]I'm like, "Aw."
- [00:04:03.540]It always reminds me of that one time
- [00:04:05.670]'cause that's the only time it ever happened
- [00:04:07.110]that we lived there.
- [00:04:08.455]And I was like, "Oh my gosh, it was the coolest thing ever."
- [00:04:11.070]Yeah, it sounds really magical,
- [00:04:12.600]like a winter wonderland.
- [00:04:14.610]LaDonna, how about you.
- [00:04:15.960]We're in the holiday season.
- [00:04:17.010]You have any holiday memories?
- [00:04:18.810]I grew up in the Midwest, so mainly Nebraska.
- [00:04:21.840]And memory I remember most
- [00:04:24.390]was we would go to church on Christmas Eve
- [00:04:27.090]and it would be a late night service and we'd come home,
- [00:04:30.300]and that would be the time that gifts were under the tree
- [00:04:34.200]and we were able to open gifts.
- [00:04:36.030]It was always kinda magical at that time.
- [00:04:38.296]We didn't receive a lot of gifts,
- [00:04:40.622]but it was the time we shared with each other
- [00:04:43.560]and we made gifts for each other.
- [00:04:45.000]So it was important to us to share at that time.
- [00:04:49.530]And then Sunday morning,
- [00:04:51.390]we would go to my dad's side
- [00:04:55.260]and there was about 80 of us that would get together
- [00:04:58.080]'cause it was a large family
- [00:04:59.760]and several cousins that was my age.
- [00:05:01.835]So, we would terrorize the house and eat wonderful food
- [00:05:06.370]and do great things.
- [00:05:08.580]And grandma was always so open and sharing with us
- [00:05:12.660]and excited to have all the grandkids.
- [00:05:14.368]Yeah, that sounds really special.
- [00:05:16.101]How did you fit 80 people in a room, or in a house?
- [00:05:19.950]That's a lot.
- [00:05:21.000]When we ate lunch or at noontime,
- [00:05:23.610]it was very creative of where all the tables were sitting.
- [00:05:27.047]There was even a table in one of the large bathrooms
- [00:05:30.811]because you could put a table in there
- [00:05:33.420]and you could put chairs.
- [00:05:34.770]There would be chairs and tables in the garage,
- [00:05:37.500]there would be chairs and tables all over the house.
- [00:05:40.050]Thanks for sharing, both of you.
- [00:05:40.927]Those are fun stories.
- [00:05:42.750]So, it is the season of gift giving
- [00:05:45.360]and that's what we're focusing on today in this episode.
- [00:05:48.180]And forgive me for sounding like the Grinch here.
- [00:05:50.550]I just reread that Dr. Seuss story this last weekend.
- [00:05:53.252]But the real meaning behind the season
- [00:05:55.170]can sometimes get lost in the sea of ribbons,
- [00:05:57.960]tags, packages, boxes and bags.
- [00:06:01.170]So how do we as adults teach children the purpose of gifts?
- [00:06:05.820]I think it's really fun
- [00:06:07.020]to sit down with children and young,
- [00:06:09.090]and especially even my own children when they were young
- [00:06:11.841]was processing, what can we give, what can we do?
- [00:06:16.030]And as we started very young,
- [00:06:19.080]giving and thinking of those ideas, it's carried through.
- [00:06:22.650]It's just a norm for them right now.
- [00:06:25.830]And the other day I was with my adult son and I said,
- [00:06:29.527]"You have ideas for dad?
- [00:06:31.050]Let's generate ideas."
- [00:06:32.820]And that same spirit of,
- [00:06:34.645]oh, we could do this or we could do this.
- [00:06:37.680]And then we also did fun gifts.
- [00:06:39.834]How could we wrap this?
- [00:06:42.120]How could we give this something a little different?
- [00:06:45.090]Could we go on a scavenger hunt?
- [00:06:47.130]And those things are the ones
- [00:06:48.896]that we had so much fun with the kids
- [00:06:52.066]and gave them the purpose
- [00:06:53.790]of how could we give to that other person
- [00:06:56.250]to make them feel better or happier
- [00:06:58.590]about the season or about themselves.
- [00:07:01.140]Yeah, I love that.
- [00:07:01.973]So incorporating the children
- [00:07:03.750]in the decision making for the gifts
- [00:07:05.310]and also how to package them in a way
- [00:07:07.530]that's appealing or fun for the person receiving the gift
- [00:07:10.157]and thinking about what it would feel like
- [00:07:12.570]to be on the other end of receiving that gift.
- [00:07:15.245]Yeah, very neat.
- [00:07:16.500]Sarah, you were gonna share as well.
- [00:07:17.970]I was just thinking, so my son's five,
- [00:07:20.910]so he's kind of at the age where he just wants toys
- [00:07:23.741]and all these different things.
- [00:07:25.230]But I've noticed lately,
- [00:07:26.709]anytime we go to like another kid's birthday or something,
- [00:07:30.570]he always wants to give something of his.
- [00:07:33.420]So he's kind of in the middle of this like,
- [00:07:35.060]well, I give them a gift but then he wants to take it back
- [00:07:39.030]after he gives it to him.
- [00:07:40.170]So we went to a little girl's party
- [00:07:41.850]and he really loves monster trucks and so he was like,
- [00:07:44.777]"Well, I wanna give her one of my monster trucks."
- [00:07:47.040]And I was like, "If you wanna give her one of your toys,
- [00:07:49.770]that's fine, but you don't get it back."
- [00:07:52.020]I was like, "if you give something to someone,
- [00:07:53.550]you don't take it back."
- [00:07:54.600]So he's kind of like trying to understand what that means,
- [00:07:57.480]but I'm like, "Well, you don't have to give that."
- [00:08:00.287]But he's a very giving person,
- [00:08:02.430]so I think it's kind of nice to be able to,
- [00:08:05.130]that he already kind of does that.
- [00:08:06.780]But then at the same time, it's like,
- [00:08:09.540]you can't take those things back
- [00:08:11.310]if you're gonna give them something.
- [00:08:13.470]But, I don't know.
- [00:08:14.400]He has a lot of fun with it.
- [00:08:15.540]I mean, and I think the other thing is we do,
- [00:08:18.360]like, in my family, we do a lot of like handmade stuff
- [00:08:21.480]or things that means, you know, like a picture
- [00:08:24.750]or something like that because really,
- [00:08:26.820]like, what do you give your parents
- [00:08:28.200]that have all the things?
- [00:08:29.310]So, you know, that's the other thing too,
- [00:08:31.080]is he's used to kind of that and he doesn't,
- [00:08:34.295]I mean, he understands what that's for.
- [00:08:36.690]And like even when we go to the store and he'll say,
- [00:08:38.857]"Oh, I want this."
- [00:08:39.690]And I'm like, "Gifts are something
- [00:08:41.280]that are like for special things.
- [00:08:42.930]It's not just like you don't just get a gift
- [00:08:44.490]just because you,
- [00:08:45.450]unfortunately, just because you woke up in the morning."
- [00:08:47.490]That would be great, but...
- [00:08:49.745]So, you know, I think that that's part of it,
- [00:08:52.110]is just trying to get him to understand like,
- [00:08:53.850]what is the purpose of a gift?
- [00:08:54.990]It's to show somebody that you care about them
- [00:08:56.760]or that you're thinking about them
- [00:08:58.260]or, yeah, it is for special things.
- [00:09:00.030]Like, that's really important to kind of
- [00:09:02.280]especially instill in children at this age
- [00:09:04.406]and so then they can kind of use that
- [00:09:06.330]when they get older too.
- [00:09:07.290]Yeah, and that's a hard skill to learn.
- [00:09:09.180]I mean, even as an adult, as I am gift shopping,
- [00:09:11.700]I'm like, I get distracted by the things that I want
- [00:09:15.300]when I'm shopping, and I'm like,
- [00:09:16.297]"No, this is not for me right now.
- [00:09:18.210]I gotta focus on this person."
- [00:09:19.693]So, yeah, it's definitely a hard skill to teach kids
- [00:09:23.045]but an important one to teach them, for sure.
- [00:09:26.006]I love how, with the ages and stages of kids,
- [00:09:29.628]how they react to giving gifts and receiving gifts.
- [00:09:33.390]There was times that we always had fun
- [00:09:35.755]with our little ones at holidays
- [00:09:38.626]was if they received a shirt for Christmas
- [00:09:42.480]and everyone's like, you know, it's clothing.
- [00:09:44.820]And for some kids, "Oh, that's boring,"
- [00:09:46.470]but, (gasps) "Oh, that's really exciting"
- [00:09:48.502]and we made it so much, you know, excitement.
- [00:09:51.780]And then of course we got a little carried away with it.
- [00:09:53.800]It's, like, "You gotta put it on.
- [00:09:55.770]Let's see if it fits."
- [00:09:57.096]So, everyone, here's this little one that's two years old
- [00:10:00.397]taking their shirt off to put a new shirt on,
- [00:10:03.175]and we'd all be laughing
- [00:10:04.993]and to have fun with that gift giving.
- [00:10:07.375]Just the simplest things of teaching them to appreciate
- [00:10:12.180]by showing them the enthusiasm to express for that gift,
- [00:10:17.100]and then also the receiving of it.
- [00:10:19.620]Why should we appreciate that for some, you know,
- [00:10:22.972]the gift that we receive,
- [00:10:25.110]how will that make someone else feel.
- [00:10:26.850]Yeah, let's dive into that a little bit more.
- [00:10:28.860]How do we teach children to be appreciative
- [00:10:31.680]for the gifts that they might receive?
- [00:10:33.930]How do we do that?
- [00:10:34.830]In our family, socks and shoes,
- [00:10:37.650]all those things were important at the holidays
- [00:10:40.380]'cause that started a new school season after that.
- [00:10:43.500]So those were some of the gifts that we received
- [00:10:46.230]because we were needing them.
- [00:10:47.700]We may not wanted them but we needed them.
- [00:10:50.622]And we still carry that tradition
- [00:10:52.860]on of some of the things that we are needing
- [00:10:55.440]for the purpose of school,
- [00:10:57.460]for the purpose of winter, things like that.
- [00:11:01.290]And when we were talking with the kids,
- [00:11:04.380]it's, even at the beginning,
- [00:11:06.150]we'd always express to them of, you know,
- [00:11:09.067]"Sometimes at Christmas,
- [00:11:10.440]you have to receive things you need.
- [00:11:12.330]And it may not be something you want,
- [00:11:14.580]but we gotta still say thank you."
- [00:11:16.667]And so demonstrating the thank yous, the hugs,
- [00:11:20.670]the generous ways of saying thank you to that person
- [00:11:24.059]and appreciating it.
- [00:11:25.740]We did a lot of practicing.
- [00:11:27.003]And people say, "Why do you practice some of these things?"
- [00:11:29.827]I said, "That's the way you learn."
- [00:11:32.190]So even we would mimic gift giving once in a while
- [00:11:35.797]when they were very little,
- [00:11:37.320]we'd just put a towel around something and open the gift
- [00:11:40.647]and give them words for what they needed to say
- [00:11:45.270]so they would get comfortable with what to do
- [00:11:48.360]because otherwise it's awkward.
- [00:11:50.280]They don't know what to do.
- [00:11:51.240]They've never received a gift they never wanted
- [00:11:53.730]or they don't know how to share that appreciation.
- [00:11:56.700]So the modeling as adults
- [00:11:59.130]and also helping that child,
- [00:12:01.320]making an activity before the holidays
- [00:12:04.440]to help that child with words and gestures.
- [00:12:07.560]Yeah, I could see that activity being really fun.
- [00:12:09.910]Playing pretend that you're receiving a gift
- [00:12:12.330]and giving them like random items
- [00:12:13.950]like a sack of flour or a mug and just like seeing
- [00:12:17.850]who can have the best reaction to their gift.
- [00:12:20.490]And like you said, it lets them practice
- [00:12:23.130]so they're not put in a situation
- [00:12:24.480]where they've never been in it before,
- [00:12:25.979]they don't know how to respond.
- [00:12:28.050]When we practice,
- [00:12:29.490]you're giving them the script,
- [00:12:31.110]you're giving them the social norms,
- [00:12:33.090]like, this is how we act in these situations
- [00:12:34.788]so they feel confident when they are put in that situation.
- [00:12:37.823]Also, you had mentioned like getting things
- [00:12:40.688]that you need for a gift.
- [00:12:42.941]And I had a conversation with a parent a long time ago
- [00:12:45.707]and so I can't remember her exact recommendations,
- [00:12:48.243]but she said for each of her kids, she gets them,
- [00:12:50.952]I think it's three things that they need,
- [00:12:53.257]one thing that's educational,
- [00:12:55.410]and then one thing that they wanted that was on their list.
- [00:12:57.675]Like, that was her guideline.
- [00:12:59.520]And then she also had
- [00:13:00.420]like a set dollar amount too for each kid,
- [00:13:02.454]so it was kind of equal.
- [00:13:04.380]I thought that was a really neat guideline
- [00:13:06.210]and it stuck with me for a long time, obviously,
- [00:13:07.853]since she told me a long time ago.
- [00:13:10.440]That's what my mom does for...
- [00:13:12.200]So she has...
- [00:13:13.140]My brother has two kids
- [00:13:14.460]and they're about to have another one,
- [00:13:15.750]and then I have my son.
- [00:13:17.070]So she gets all of them something to wear,
- [00:13:19.470]something to read, and then something to play with.
- [00:13:21.720]So she gets to pick up like,
- [00:13:23.010]so she'll say, "What do they," you know,
- [00:13:24.840]like for instance he needs socks right now or something,
- [00:13:27.180]so she's like, "Okay, I'll get him socks."
- [00:13:28.841]And then she usually picks out something that she likes
- [00:13:31.860]for them or whatever, but then she'll say like,
- [00:13:33.986]"What type of books do they like to read?"
- [00:13:35.969]or something like that,
- [00:13:37.770]and then one kind of toy thing
- [00:13:39.914]that they would actually maybe want.
- [00:13:41.922]I mean, my son likes to read and he likes books,
- [00:13:44.302]but it's all about the toys
- [00:13:45.930]when it comes to little kids sometimes.
- [00:13:47.610]So, but I think, you know, piggybacking on LaDonna's too,
- [00:13:50.610]it's just part of instilling that attitude of being grateful
- [00:13:54.660]because it's hard to help kids understand like,
- [00:13:58.260]because if they don't like something,
- [00:13:59.670]they're not gonna hide that.
- [00:14:00.881]Like, as an adult, if you don't like something,
- [00:14:02.970]you'd be like, "Oh, thank you so much,"
- [00:14:04.530]and then, you know, in your mind you're like,
- [00:14:05.797]"I'm never gonna use this, but whatever.
- [00:14:07.260]At least it's the thought."
- [00:14:08.307]But like for kids, "Did you get me this?"
- [00:14:10.890]And it's like...
- [00:14:12.420]So we have to...
- [00:14:13.650]We've had that conversation with him before,
- [00:14:15.780]is like, "Okay, but it may not be your favorite thing
- [00:14:18.690]but that person thought about you
- [00:14:20.916]and wanted to get you something,
- [00:14:22.591]so you need to be thankful for that."
- [00:14:25.038]And since he is been little,
- [00:14:27.111]I always say like, "Okay, we say please and thank you."
- [00:14:30.060]And so I think that's also a part of it,
- [00:14:32.066]is just having that, I don't know,
- [00:14:34.860]that attitude about it, I guess.
- [00:14:36.660]Because I always,
- [00:14:37.800]I mean, my mom, she's always been the type of person
- [00:14:40.200]that like for Christmas,
- [00:14:41.220]'cause we have stockings
- [00:14:42.510]that we usually do for my family,
- [00:14:45.344]and that's been a big kind of tradition
- [00:14:48.720]for my family for a really long time.
- [00:14:50.578]But like your stocking is just kind of knicknacky stuff
- [00:14:53.621]or like a pack of gum or, I don't know,
- [00:14:56.323]sometimes you get jewelry or something
- [00:14:58.170]'cause it's small and fits in there.
- [00:14:59.430]But usually it's like little things that are just for fun.
- [00:15:01.730]And, no, you may not need that necessarily,
- [00:15:05.820]but it's just kind of a fun,
- [00:15:07.459]it's just a fun thing, you know?
- [00:15:09.360]And so I think it's just changing your attitude about things
- [00:15:11.801]because like that's what,
- [00:15:13.140]I mean, it's not about presence
- [00:15:14.250]but it's about enjoying other people
- [00:15:16.140]and being with your family
- [00:15:17.220]and being thankful for all that you have
- [00:15:19.194]and being able to spend time with them, like, yeah.
- [00:15:20.627]So I think that that you just have to change the attitude.
- [00:15:24.061]And that's hard, but it just takes practice.
- [00:15:27.039]Sarah, I also appreciated you like being really real
- [00:15:29.640]and saying when your son receives a gift he's like,
- [00:15:32.767]"Why'd you gimme this?"
- [00:15:34.676]Because that's what kids do.
- [00:15:35.670]I mean, they're not able to mask those emotions yet.
- [00:15:38.138]So just being prepared as a parent or a caregiver,
- [00:15:41.402]like, knowing that's probably gonna happen
- [00:15:43.980]and just adapting in the moment
- [00:15:46.110]and talking through like,
- [00:15:47.407]"Yeah, they spent a lot of time
- [00:15:49.080]and effort picking this out."
- [00:15:50.550]And over time, they're gonna get that message
- [00:15:53.430]after we repeat it several times.
- [00:15:56.190]Like, even for his birthday,
- [00:15:57.330]he got something and he was like, "I didn't want this."
- [00:15:59.730]And it's like, "Okay, but..."
- [00:16:02.247]I know that, like, that wasn't on your list necessarily,
- [00:16:05.198]but, you know, like, that person took the time to..."
- [00:16:08.066]Like, I think he got some,
- [00:16:10.230]they were like snow boots or something.
- [00:16:11.970]I mean, he needed them
- [00:16:13.080]or, you know, 'cause he'll use 'em for this season.
- [00:16:15.000]But he was like, "I didn't want this.
- [00:16:16.530]I didn't ask for this"
- [00:16:17.760]I was like, "Hey, that is not how we talk."
- [00:16:24.230]I appreciate how levelheaded you are about that
- [00:16:25.833]'cause I feel like I'd be freaking out like,
- [00:16:27.443]"Oh no, oh no, oh no."
- [00:16:31.350]And like most people, like,
- [00:16:33.150]I mean, I say most people are like,
- [00:16:34.867]"Oh, whatever."
- [00:16:36.090]But he's only five, but it's just like,
- [00:16:38.370]it takes a lot of practice and I just have to tell myself
- [00:16:41.190]'cause then I'll have a conversation with him
- [00:16:42.960]'cause I'll say, "Okay you need to go around
- [00:16:44.400]and tell everyone thank you.
- [00:16:45.780]Thank you for coming,
- [00:16:46.950]you know, thank you for taking the time, whatever,
- [00:16:50.250]and give everybody a hug."
- [00:16:51.450]I make him do thank you notes too.
- [00:16:53.190]Like, he doesn't,
- [00:16:55.200]you know, he's not really like write.
- [00:16:56.670]Like, he can write his name and stuff,
- [00:16:57.960]which is awesome 'cause he'll write his name on it.
- [00:16:59.910]And I'll be like,
- [00:17:00.743]"You can draw a picture if you want to or whatever," but-
- [00:17:03.510]You hit it on it so well, Sarah, was,
- [00:17:05.801]sometimes as parents,
- [00:17:07.140]we feel so bad when a child says something.
- [00:17:09.732]But if you're in a room of parents, we've all had it.
- [00:17:13.410]No matter what age a child is,
- [00:17:15.227]something's gonna come out that it's like,
- [00:17:17.737]"Oh, I'm embarrassed,"
- [00:17:18.840]but the other parents are laughing with you
- [00:17:21.060]because they're like, "Yeah, Sam did this"
- [00:17:24.270]or "Samantha did this" and they'll tell the stories.
- [00:17:27.930]So you're not alone.
- [00:17:29.340]Every child does that sometime, or quite a few times.
- [00:17:33.690]Yeah.
- [00:17:34.590]Yeah, you're so tech savvy,
- [00:17:36.240]so that does not surprise me
- [00:17:37.470]that you did that with your kids.
- [00:17:38.820]That makes total sense for you, LaDonna.
- [00:17:41.160]But it's a great idea for parents as well
- [00:17:43.470]if they wanna think about how to show appreciation for gifts
- [00:17:46.163]and how to get kids involved
- [00:17:48.150]with showing that appreciation afterwards.
- [00:17:50.222]So let's talk about gifts for children.
- [00:17:52.446]We had a few suggestions earlier,
- [00:17:54.796]like getting things that they need,
- [00:17:57.060]getting things that are educational.
- [00:17:58.715]What are some things that we could get for children
- [00:18:01.800]that they would appreciate depending on kind of their ages?
- [00:18:04.944]One of the things we did with our kids
- [00:18:06.973]was when they were young,
- [00:18:08.550]they couldn't do thank you cards
- [00:18:10.470]but we took pictures of them with the item
- [00:18:13.050]and it did a little video clip
- [00:18:15.031]and or a little note at the bottom
- [00:18:18.000]and just send it out as text and-
- [00:18:20.275]Oh, I love that.
- [00:18:21.720]So it was kind of a fun family way of saying thank you.
- [00:18:26.430]And handwritten thank yous are always wonderful later too
- [00:18:30.071]'cause people love to put 'em up on the fridge
- [00:18:32.850]or hold 'em somewhere and go back through 'em.
- [00:18:35.670]One of the things I remember, we'd always make lists.
- [00:18:38.520]The kids would make lists,
- [00:18:39.720]and then, of course, adults as parents,
- [00:18:41.700]we'd write a few extra things on there.
- [00:18:43.680]And one of the things that we kept asking for my son
- [00:18:47.236]was construction paper, glue, scissors, blue tape.
- [00:18:52.470]So if he put it on the walls,
- [00:18:53.929]it wouldn't take the paint off.
- [00:18:55.578]But he would never receive that.
- [00:18:58.590]And I'm like, "Oh no, these are the things that would be..."
- [00:19:01.950]And I had a secretary.
- [00:19:04.320]She heard me tell the story
- [00:19:05.640]that no one's giving him the scissors,
- [00:19:07.620]the stuff like that that for,
- [00:19:09.240]and construction paper.
- [00:19:10.770]And she goes, "You gotta be kidding.
- [00:19:12.330]So she was laughing and she,
- [00:19:14.336]her grandkids were at a distance.
- [00:19:16.072]So she went to the store and bought some of these things.
- [00:19:18.660]I said, "No, that wasn't the purpose of the story."
- [00:19:20.940]She goes, "No, he needs this 'cause I know who he is
- [00:19:24.900]and this is what he'll have fun with."
- [00:19:26.790]And the construction paper and the paper rolls
- [00:19:30.378]and all those things lived all year long.
- [00:19:34.410]We pulled 'em outta the box, we reused them,
- [00:19:36.758]and it lasted a whole year.
- [00:19:40.146]And it was so fun.
- [00:19:41.670]He would make little campfires.
- [00:19:43.193]He would roll the papers up and use red and green
- [00:19:46.183]and tear it up and put on there and make a campfire.
- [00:19:49.836]At other times, we'd have a big cardboard box.
- [00:19:52.452]Those are so fun.
- [00:19:54.480]A refrigerator box that doesn't cost anything,
- [00:19:57.270]and that was converted into a castle.
- [00:20:00.780]And he would hammer things in it
- [00:20:02.760]and he would put all these different things in it.
- [00:20:05.370]But it was fun things that we could do together.
- [00:20:07.937]And-
- [00:20:09.090]LaDonna, you probably mentioned this.
- [00:20:10.230]What age was he when he got this,
- [00:20:12.390]like, the construction paper?
- [00:20:13.470]He was about from,
- [00:20:15.240]about six to about eight.
- [00:20:18.750]Yeah, yeah.
- [00:20:19.860]For me as an adult, that's such a good reminder
- [00:20:22.620]that I don't need to impress with my gift.
- [00:20:26.460]I'm not in a competition with the other adults
- [00:20:28.789]for who can make the splashiest impact
- [00:20:32.197]on that Christmas morning when all the gifts are unboxed.
- [00:20:35.970]I can get something that's simpler,
- [00:20:38.155]and it will still have a positive impact
- [00:20:40.401]and be really meaningful and enjoyable to kids
- [00:20:44.191]and might even last longer
- [00:20:45.991]than that more impressive expensive gift.
- [00:20:48.779]So I just went through a divorce and so we,
- [00:20:52.151]this year, we're on a budget,
- [00:20:54.540]so, you know, it's gonna be like a crazy, crazy Christmas.
- [00:20:57.877]And so I felt like bad for a minute.
- [00:21:00.090]I was like feeling guilty 'cause I'm like,
- [00:21:01.597]"Okay, he's gonna have to split his Christmases."
- [00:21:04.126]So I read this article on Facebook
- [00:21:06.030]and it was talking about like mom guilt or something.
- [00:21:07.513]And it was like, "Think back to your own childhood.
- [00:21:10.230]Like, do you actually remember what you got for Christmas
- [00:21:12.690]when you were five, six, seven years?"
- [00:21:14.580]You might remember one big thing,
- [00:21:16.050]but like, really, it's all just,
- [00:21:17.940]you probably remember, like, the people that were there
- [00:21:20.653]or something like that or where you were living,
- [00:21:23.550]but, like, you don't remember all the little gifts
- [00:21:25.700]or something that you got.
- [00:21:27.060]So, you know, I try to think of things,
- [00:21:29.370]like, that we could do together.
- [00:21:30.840]So, like, we went to the theater in Sioux City
- [00:21:33.030]and we went and saw "The Nutcracker" ballet.
- [00:21:35.190]So, like, tickets for 18 and under were free,
- [00:21:37.940]and then like mine was 20% off or something.
- [00:21:40.170]So it's like little things like that that don't cost a lot
- [00:21:42.588]that you could just do.
- [00:21:44.460]And so I've heard lots of people
- [00:21:45.660]talk about experiences and stuff,
- [00:21:48.180]and I think you can do any of that stuff at any age.
- [00:21:50.792]And they may not like understand,
- [00:21:52.770]like, you're gifting them an experience,
- [00:21:54.278]but they will remember that experience.
- [00:21:56.423]Versus if you gave 'em, you know, $100 or $500 in toys,
- [00:22:02.430]I mean, all that stuff's gonna end up either in the garbage
- [00:22:05.280]or at Goodwill or hand-me-down somewhere else
- [00:22:08.190]like it doesn't matter.
- [00:22:09.390]So I think it's just like keeping that in mind
- [00:22:11.910]'cause there's people like,
- [00:22:13.080]yes, we all wanna go all out for our kids
- [00:22:15.270]and we all wanna go all out for our family,
- [00:22:16.950]but at the end of the day, that's not what's important
- [00:22:19.380]and that's not what you're gonna remember anyways.
- [00:22:22.110]So that helped me to kind of like reign back in
- [00:22:25.140]and be like, "All right, it's gonna be fine."
- [00:22:27.690]Yeah, I really appreciate that perspective taking
- [00:22:30.024]and grounding ourself in the meaning of the season
- [00:22:32.736]and what is gonna be meaningful for us
- [00:22:35.310]and those children, like, down the road rather than,
- [00:22:37.920]again, like, spending $500 in toys
- [00:22:40.355]that you said are gonna end up in Goodwill
- [00:22:42.960]or you're gonna have to deal with later.
- [00:22:45.600]All right, we're closing in
- [00:22:46.920]on our final moments in this podcast, unfortunately.
- [00:22:49.777]We've had some really good discussions on gifts giving
- [00:22:53.100]and the meaning of the season,
- [00:22:54.780]but we're gonna end up with a little segment
- [00:22:56.820]called this or that, and it's holiday themed.
- [00:22:59.520]So I'm gonna give you two options
- [00:23:01.183]and you're gonna have to select which option you prefer.
- [00:23:05.057]First one, mashed potatoes or dressing.
- [00:23:08.580]Sarah. Mashed those.
- [00:23:10.025]LaDonna Mashed potatoes.
- [00:23:11.468]Mashed potatoes, okay.
- [00:23:12.810]Yep, that's the favorite.
- [00:23:14.100]Okay, so for family bonding time,
- [00:23:16.367]LaDonna, would you prefer doing board games
- [00:23:20.010]or watching movies?
- [00:23:21.360]Watching interactive movies
- [00:23:23.430]that we can laugh together and have fun together.
- [00:23:27.460]I don't know, man.
- [00:23:28.320]Those are both...
- [00:23:29.153]I would say board games.
- [00:23:30.900]But it also depends on like who it is too.
- [00:23:33.337]Oh, yeah. 'Cause there's games like,
- [00:23:35.160]if I'm with my brother,
- [00:23:36.030]I don't wanna play with him 'cause he is...
- [00:23:37.744]Yeah, definitely gotta have the right people for that.
- [00:23:40.050]I think I choose board games too.
- [00:23:41.940]I'm just so competitive,
- [00:23:43.470]and, yeah, I really enjoy winning if I can.
- [00:23:46.422]Travel or stay home?
- [00:23:48.442]Ooh, I don't know.
- [00:23:50.326]That's hard too, geez.
- [00:23:52.290]I don't know.
- [00:23:53.123]All my family live far away, so I would say travel.
- [00:23:55.197]Yeah, I would say travel
- [00:23:56.610]'cause then you can go do stuff too.
- [00:23:58.462]Yeah.
- [00:23:59.576]LaDonna.
- [00:24:00.409]I kinda like the mix too.
- [00:24:01.320]I like a little travel and I like to just stay home.
- [00:24:04.500]And the time together as immediate family,
- [00:24:07.680]but I still like to travel to the family
- [00:24:09.810]just because that's how I grew up.
- [00:24:11.820]We'd go travel to
- [00:24:13.022]and be part of the, you know, the large family group.
- [00:24:16.020]So it brings back lots of memories.
- [00:24:17.730]Yeah, awesome.
- [00:24:18.563]Okay, LaDonna, turkey or ham?
- [00:24:21.116]Oh, turkey.
- [00:24:22.620]White meat of turkey,
- [00:24:23.910]that's my favorite with some gravy over it.
- [00:24:26.074]Oh, yes.
- [00:24:27.360]And the leftovers for, you know, a few days.
- [00:24:30.588]I'm the opposite.
- [00:24:32.490]I do not like white meat and I also don't like turkey.
- [00:24:37.110]Okay, we have to eat together
- [00:24:38.730]because then I can have my turkey, you can have your ham.
- [00:24:42.056]Yes, yes.
- [00:24:43.200]Sarah, how about you?
- [00:24:44.220]Turkey or ham?
- [00:24:45.053]I would say, same as LaDonna, turkey breasts.
- [00:24:47.700]I don't like ham.
- [00:24:49.020]I'll eat if that's like the only thing,
- [00:24:51.038]but if I don't...
- [00:24:52.083]Yeah, I don't wanna eat that.
- [00:24:54.180]Okay, well, I'm gonna hang out with you guys,
- [00:24:55.740]and then I'll just eat all the ham.
- [00:24:58.260]Or the dark meat.
- [00:24:59.093]I'll eat the dark meat too.
- [00:25:01.530]Okay, I think both of you celebrate Christmas,
- [00:25:04.560]is that right?
- [00:25:05.393]Correct. Okay.
- [00:25:06.270]So do you prefer Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
- [00:25:10.770]Sarah?
- [00:25:11.910]Christmas Day.
- [00:25:13.050]It's like the culmination of all the excitement.
- [00:25:15.488]And usually like you just lay around all day
- [00:25:17.610]and open your presents, and then you kind of just chill out
- [00:25:20.237]and eat the rest of the day.
- [00:25:23.880]Just a lounging kind of day.
- [00:25:25.409]Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- [00:25:27.307]LaDonna, Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
- [00:25:29.827]I love Christmas Eve of going to church,
- [00:25:32.314]and then spending time in the evening with the family
- [00:25:36.450]and we'd always have munchies when we came home.
- [00:25:38.550]But when I was a kid, that was our immediate family time.
- [00:25:41.797]But it was a good family time.
- [00:25:44.010]Yeah, really special time.
- [00:25:45.750]Well, thank you, ladies, for playing this or that with me.
- [00:25:48.150]Also, thank you so much for sharing your time with us,
- [00:25:50.545]sharing your expertise,
- [00:25:51.930]and all of your stories for this episode.
- [00:25:54.180]I really appreciate both of you being here today.
- [00:25:56.520]Thank you, Emily, for letting us be on.
- [00:25:58.890]We had a wonderful time.
- [00:26:00.088]Thank you.
- [00:26:01.140]Thank you so much.
- [00:26:02.468](bright gentle music)
- [00:26:06.150]As this year is coming to a close
- [00:26:08.280]and I've been reflecting on this past year,
- [00:26:10.500]I just wanted to personally share
- [00:26:12.360]my sincere thanks to our listeners
- [00:26:14.640]who have found this podcast in its very first season
- [00:26:17.550]and are already building this beautiful
- [00:26:20.580]and positive community surrounding the show.
- [00:26:23.220]It has been so fun and such a joy
- [00:26:25.680]hearing your enjoyment of the podcast episodes
- [00:26:28.560]and the ideas for topics that you have had.
- [00:26:31.530]I just encourage you to keep sharing those stories.
- [00:26:33.750]We really love hearing from our listeners.
- [00:26:36.090]So find us on Facebook, send us a message through there,
- [00:26:40.110]or go ahead and email our team at earlychildhood@unl.edu.
- [00:26:44.411]We wish you all a very merry and happy holidays.
- [00:26:51.420]This has been an episode of The Good Life in Early Life,
- [00:26:55.573]a Nebraska Extension Early Childhood Production
- [00:26:58.230]with your host Emily Manning.
- [00:26:59.730]For more information on early childhood,
- [00:27:01.530]check out our website at child.unl.edu.
- [00:27:03.977]If you like the show,
- [00:27:05.640]subscribe and tell your friends to listen.
- [00:27:07.650]The show production team is Emily Manning,
- [00:27:10.230]Dr. Holly Hatton, Erin Kampbell, Ingrid Lindal,
- [00:27:13.590]Linda Reddish, Kim Wellsand, LaDonna Werth and Katie Krause.
- [00:27:17.610]See you next time and thanks for listening.
- [00:27:20.449](upbeat music)
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