Ambiguous Loss and Agriculture - Youth with Extension Educator Brandy Vandewalle - full interview
Linda Reddish
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09/29/2023
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15
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Brandy, full interview for Ambiguous Loss project
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- [00:00:00.531](inspiring music)
- [00:00:07.320]Hi, I'm John Fech with Nebraska Extension.
- [00:00:09.810]And welcome to this video on ambiguous loss.
- [00:00:12.720]Joining me here in the studio is Brandy VanDeWalle,
- [00:00:15.690]Extension educator for youth.
- [00:00:17.940]And now, Brandy, when young people experience
- [00:00:20.940]ambiguous loss, how does that affect them as youngsters?
- [00:00:25.950]I think, first of all, the youth probably don't even know
- [00:00:28.680]what they're experiencing.
- [00:00:30.030]And so trying to let them know
- [00:00:32.490]that how they're feeling is okay.
- [00:00:34.740]And sometimes I think, even as adults, we tend to think
- [00:00:37.830]maybe whatever loss it is they're dealing with,
- [00:00:40.470]whether it's loss of a farm
- [00:00:42.690]and they can't show livestock anymore
- [00:00:44.820]or something like that, they don't maybe understand
- [00:00:47.670]why they're still processing through that.
- [00:00:50.460]And so just kind of helping them understand it's legit
- [00:00:54.030]and this is okay, why you're feeling the way you're feeling,
- [00:00:56.670]and just really listening to them.
- [00:00:58.740]So a lot of youngsters just don't have all the information
- [00:01:01.710]that they need and it's hard for them to comprehend.
- [00:01:04.200]I think so and I think and sometimes
- [00:01:05.880]in rural communities too, we, you know, try to have them,
- [00:01:09.420]you know, just keep moving on, be persistent,
- [00:01:12.000]and maybe don't give them time to grieve
- [00:01:14.490]or they just kind of feel that they wanna be tough
- [00:01:17.280]and they don't want to maybe let somebody know
- [00:01:19.320]that they're struggling in that situation.
- [00:01:21.210]Okay, now, is it common for ambiguous loss
- [00:01:25.440]to be felt differently by different youngsters?
- [00:01:28.830]Absolutely, because based on their developmental age of,
- [00:01:32.490]you know, age that they are,
- [00:01:33.600]they're gonna experience things differently.
- [00:01:36.060]But also I think like even the background
- [00:01:38.490]or the geographic area or location that they're in,
- [00:01:41.730]if they're urban, rural, you know,
- [00:01:43.500]they might have some different cultural experiences
- [00:01:46.620]and things like that that might impact 'em differently too.
- [00:01:49.290]So pretty obvious to have differences.
- [00:01:51.270]Very normal to have differences.
- [00:01:53.160]What are some outward signs?
- [00:01:54.720]If there were a teacher or another parent
- [00:01:57.300]or someone who might be noticing things,
- [00:01:59.100]what would be some outward signs that a youth group,
- [00:02:02.400]a club, might be experiencing ambiguous loss?
- [00:02:06.210]Yeah, I think if they suddenly kind of withdraw
- [00:02:08.130]in those things that they really are enjoying.
- [00:02:11.040]I mean, there's always the obvious,
- [00:02:13.050]breaking down and, you know, in tears, getting more upset,
- [00:02:17.040]maybe showing out anger, those types of things.
- [00:02:20.580]But sometimes it can be really hard to know.
- [00:02:23.220]So just, right, asking those right, probing questions
- [00:02:25.860]can really kind of help get at the root of the situation.
- [00:02:28.500]So they're really not themselves maybe.
- [00:02:30.420]That might be a way to say it.
- [00:02:31.650]Right, right, they just start acting
- [00:02:33.210]a little bit differently than their normal behavior.
- [00:02:35.790]Okay, so if you start seeing those signs,
- [00:02:38.010]something a little off, what should you do?
- [00:02:41.220]So I think just, first of all, listen.
- [00:02:43.200]And it's really quick.
- [00:02:44.490]As adults, you know, I know, as a parent,
- [00:02:46.800]I always wanna fix things.
- [00:02:48.090]I wanna come up with solutions.
- [00:02:49.680]But just really listening to them and answering
- [00:02:51.750]or asking them those really powerful questions.
- [00:02:55.170]Ask, you know, and following up with them.
- [00:02:56.760]So if it's not like if it's a 4-H member
- [00:02:59.130]or someone that, you know, you don't see every day,
- [00:03:01.440]just making sure you actually follow up with them
- [00:03:03.420]and get the help that they need.
- [00:03:05.460]All right, well, Brandy, thank you for giving us
- [00:03:07.590]all that good information.
- [00:03:09.030]And thank you for watching this video.
- [00:03:11.220]And for help with other parts of ambiguous loss,
- [00:03:13.830]go ahead and click on the other videos
- [00:03:15.450]found on this webpage.
- [00:03:17.276](inspiring music)
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