Men and Masculinity
Gender and Sexuality Center
Author
07/31/2023
Added
40
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Description
Learn about the social constructs around being a man and how stereotypes negatively impact men and masculine folks. This presentation will discuss strategies to empower healthy masculinity and acknowledge the disparities between men from various backgrounds.
Searchable Transcript
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- [00:00:02.310]Welcome to the Men and Masculinity presentation.
- [00:00:05.280]My name is Caitlin Johnson and I'm an intern for the Gender
- [00:00:08.280]and Sexuality Center at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
- [00:00:12.360]First and foremost, I want to thank you
- [00:00:14.400]for all the time you've taken out of your day to be here
- [00:00:16.860]and watch this presentation.
- [00:00:23.790]Before we get started I would like to acknowledge the land
- [00:00:26.550]that we are on right now.
- [00:00:28.290]Land Acknowledgement is a traditional custom
- [00:00:30.540]dating back centuries for many native communities
- [00:00:33.120]and nations, and for non-indigenous communities,
- [00:00:36.450]land acknowledgement is a powerful way of showing respect
- [00:00:39.390]and honoring the indigenous peoples of the land
- [00:00:41.700]on which we work and live.
- [00:00:43.770]Acknowledgement is a simple way
- [00:00:45.270]of resisting the erasure of indigenous histories,
- [00:00:48.480]and working towards honoring and inviting the truth.
- [00:00:51.510]The University of Nebraska's Land Grant Institution,
- [00:00:54.750]for the campuses and programs on the past, present
- [00:00:57.990]and future homelands of the following tribes.
- [00:01:01.290]With this acknowledgement, we affirm Indigenous Sovereignty
- [00:01:05.040]and we'll work to hold our community institution
- [00:01:07.920]more accountable to the needs of indigenous people.
- [00:01:11.400]If you're interested in learning
- [00:01:12.570]and supporting the indigenous community,
- [00:01:14.580]please refer to the link below.
- [00:01:20.550]So who are we?
- [00:01:21.660]We are the Gender and Sexuality Center.
- [00:01:24.150]We are located in rooms 340, 345
- [00:01:27.570]and 346 on the third floor of the Nebraska Union.
- [00:01:31.440]Listed here are both our email and website.
- [00:01:35.490]So what do we do?
- [00:01:37.140]The center in general does a lot of different things.
- [00:01:39.540]First, we do presentations just like this one,
- [00:01:42.600]as well as workshops.
- [00:01:44.070]There are a number of presentations
- [00:01:45.540]and workshops you can request from us, and that can be done
- [00:01:48.390]via the presentations form on our website,
- [00:01:51.210]and we'll get back to you within a few days
- [00:01:53.040]to set up a time and date for our presentation.
- [00:01:57.090]Next, we have the library with resources.
- [00:01:59.790]We currently have over 1500 books, CDs, DVDs, movies
- [00:02:05.160]and really anything that you can imagine
- [00:02:07.620]there's related to gender
- [00:02:08.730]and sexuality topics which will be helpful.
- [00:02:11.910]Our library also includes a children's library
- [00:02:14.520]with a collection of inclusive and diverse book choices.
- [00:02:18.840]We also have volunteer opportunities.
- [00:02:20.970]Students can work with us to complete projects
- [00:02:22.980]for classes or they can volunteer in programming
- [00:02:26.850]or help us around the office to fulfill volunteer hours.
- [00:02:30.870]The Gender and Sexuality Center
- [00:02:32.490]also runs a learning community called Prism.
- [00:02:35.280]This LC will provide a community for students who identify
- [00:02:38.400]as LGBTQA+, or allies of the community.
- [00:02:43.410]The learning community will be in gender inclusive housing.
- [00:02:46.590]Prism will emphasize the intersectionality
- [00:02:48.690]within everyone's identities
- [00:02:50.370]and allow students to explore their personal identities
- [00:02:53.340]in a supportive and caring space.
- [00:02:56.310]The Lavender Closet clothing exchange,
- [00:02:58.110]which is open during the center's hours,
- [00:03:00.030]seeks to provide all UNL students, staff
- [00:03:02.340]and faculty with free
- [00:03:03.870]and discreet access to identity affirming clothing
- [00:03:06.390]and accessories.
- [00:03:08.040]When students feel comfortable
- [00:03:09.210]and validated in their expression, they're free to focus
- [00:03:12.030]on forwarding their education and pursuing their dreams.
- [00:03:15.600]Folks can stop by the center to request access
- [00:03:18.030]to the space to donate or pick out clothes.
- [00:03:21.360]There are gender neutral restrooms on the third floor
- [00:03:23.820]for you to try on items if desired.
- [00:03:27.120]An additional resource provided by the Gender
- [00:03:28.890]and Sexuality Center is a distribution of safer sex kits.
- [00:03:33.030]These kits contain both condoms and lubricant.
- [00:03:35.940]Other supplies such as dental dams
- [00:03:37.740]and internal condoms are also available.
- [00:03:40.830]We also include a number of events
- [00:03:42.240]as part of our programming.
- [00:03:43.800]These include the History Month dinner,
- [00:03:45.900]drag shows, lavender graduation
- [00:03:48.420]and smaller community-building and educational events.
- [00:03:53.100]Other events we run include the Gender Equity Conference,
- [00:03:56.310]the Women's History Month celebration
- [00:03:58.350]and the Growing Your Identity Event.
- [00:04:04.860]By the end of our time today
- [00:04:06.480]you will have walked away with the following objectives met.
- [00:04:09.810]You'll have learned to foster
- [00:04:10.920]a positive sense of self ownership and belonging.
- [00:04:14.610]You'll learn about strategies
- [00:04:15.870]to empower healthy masculinity.
- [00:04:18.810]You'll understand barriers to seeking support from campus
- [00:04:21.900]and community resources
- [00:04:23.730]and you'll be able to discuss disparities
- [00:04:25.740]for trans men in American society.
- [00:04:32.070]As we get started, we just wanna give you a heads up
- [00:04:34.530]that this presentation contains content related to rape,
- [00:04:37.770]sexual assault, violence, self-harm, suicide, transphobia,
- [00:04:43.500]trans misogyny, and homophobia.
- [00:04:46.590]So throughout this presentation
- [00:04:48.180]we encourage you to take care of yourself as you need to.
- [00:04:53.160]Social constructs are a concept in which humans agree
- [00:04:55.950]on something existing based off social interactions.
- [00:04:59.190]An example of this would be the agreement
- [00:05:01.020]on the value of money
- [00:05:02.370]and the difference in value between a one dollar bill
- [00:05:04.560]and a hundred dollar bill.
- [00:05:06.210]Both are just simple pieces of paper
- [00:05:08.280]but we have agreed as a society
- [00:05:09.900]in them being assigned a different monetary value.
- [00:05:13.110]The idea of social constructs plays
- [00:05:14.760]into our discussion today about masculinity
- [00:05:17.280]because society gives different messages
- [00:05:19.260]of what masculinity looks like,
- [00:05:21.210]and this can lead to harmful consequences in men
- [00:05:23.490]and masculine folks.
- [00:05:26.100]As we begin to discuss the experiences of men
- [00:05:28.320]and masculine folks,
- [00:05:29.700]it's important to review the problems they can face.
- [00:05:32.700]First, did you know that 51%
- [00:05:35.060]of trans men have reported attempting suicide,
- [00:05:39.510]that men are four times more likely to die
- [00:05:42.060]by suicide compared to women?
- [00:05:44.640]That 79% of violent crimes are committed by men,
- [00:05:48.660]that men are two times as likely to abuse
- [00:05:50.700]or become dependent on drugs and alcohol,
- [00:05:53.880]and that 97% of mass shootings are committed by men.
- [00:05:58.500]Next, we'll discuss gender roles and stereotypes.
- [00:06:02.370]Like many other identities,
- [00:06:04.050]intersecting identities can play a role
- [00:06:06.000]in the stereotypes placed on men.
- [00:06:08.430]These intersecting identities can include
- [00:06:10.860]but are not limited to,
- [00:06:12.480]race, class, culture, sexuality, and religion.
- [00:06:17.790]The different combination of identities
- [00:06:19.590]in different settings can have an impact
- [00:06:21.690]on how an individual's individuality
- [00:06:24.180]and masculinity is treated and perceived.
- [00:06:28.560]As we look to build healthy masculinity,
- [00:06:30.930]it's important to recognize
- [00:06:32.280]and unpack the stereotypical qualities that make a real man.
- [00:06:36.450]These different stereotypes include the following:
- [00:06:39.300]do not cry openly or express emotions.
- [00:06:42.570]Do not express weakness or fear.
- [00:06:45.270]Demonstrate power and control, especially over women.
- [00:06:49.440]Real men must be aggressive and dominant.
- [00:06:52.320]Real men must be the protector and provide.
- [00:06:55.950]Do not be like a woman and do not be like a gay man,
- [00:06:59.430]and that real men cannot be feminine.
- [00:07:02.100]By building awareness of these stereotypes
- [00:07:04.140]and how they play into your life,
- [00:07:05.640]you can build awareness in the ways
- [00:07:07.230]in which you challenge them.
- [00:07:10.680]While we list out and learn about these stereotypes,
- [00:07:12.900]it's important that we take time to reflect
- [00:07:14.820]how these impact men.
- [00:07:16.590]So what do men and masculine folks deal with?
- [00:07:20.160]Going together,
- [00:07:21.240]masculine individuals are faced with isolation
- [00:07:23.820]and competitiveness, loneliness
- [00:07:26.280]and lack of friendship with other men
- [00:07:28.680]because the message of masculinity is to not ask for help,
- [00:07:31.560]and to prioritize autonomy, it can take away opportunities
- [00:07:34.980]for genuine connection with others.
- [00:07:37.950]Third, men and masculine folks may deal
- [00:07:40.200]with over emotional dependence on women.
- [00:07:42.810]In a heterosexual relationship.
- [00:07:44.910]This could look like a man using his female partners
- [00:07:47.790]to meet all his emotional needs,
- [00:07:50.460]such as immediately turning to his partner
- [00:07:52.200]in times of emotional distress
- [00:07:54.030]before using his own coping skills.
- [00:07:57.660]The fourth thing that men
- [00:07:58.650]and masculine folks might deal with
- [00:08:00.390]is a lack of positive masculine identity.
- [00:08:03.330]The ideals of toxic masculinity can cause them
- [00:08:05.910]to associate masculinity with negative traits,
- [00:08:09.360]which can build into a negative view of identity.
- [00:08:13.350]And last in our list is masculine folks
- [00:08:15.540]and men can deal with cycles of control, depression
- [00:08:18.960]and inappropriate expression of anger.
- [00:08:21.660]Not expressing emotions can lead to a decreased knowledge
- [00:08:24.390]of how to cope with emotions leading to these outcomes.
- [00:08:29.130]Next, let's discuss toxic masculinity.
- [00:08:32.880]In our time together today, we'll define toxic masculinity
- [00:08:36.810]as cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way.
- [00:08:40.530]The notion that some people's ideas of manliness
- [00:08:43.110]perpetuates domination, homophobia, and aggression.
- [00:08:46.890]When unchecked, toxic masculinity can lead to a list
- [00:08:50.160]of negative impacts in one's life, we'll explore these next.
- [00:08:54.720]When unchecked,
- [00:08:55.680]toxic masculinity can lead to bullying, school discipline,
- [00:08:59.430]domestic violence, sexual assault, risky behavior
- [00:09:03.420]and a lack of genuine connections with others.
- [00:09:07.020]A tool for combating these negative outcomes
- [00:09:09.480]is taking time to develop a healthy masculinity.
- [00:09:13.440]As we build mindful masculinity,
- [00:09:15.540]there are five tenets that we'll build upon.
- [00:09:17.880]Our first is awareness.
- [00:09:19.500]Start by being aware of yourself, others,
- [00:09:22.230]and the larger systems you are operating in.
- [00:09:25.200]Our second is connection,
- [00:09:26.820]which involves understanding oneself
- [00:09:28.800]and how your individual lives touch the lives of others,
- [00:09:31.950]which builds community.
- [00:09:34.230]Our third is accountability,
- [00:09:35.820]in which we're making sure to stay aware
- [00:09:37.650]and open to non-judgmental curiosity.
- [00:09:40.650]Our fourth tenet, empathy,
- [00:09:42.540]involves seeing the struggles of others
- [00:09:44.340]and finding commonality and co feeling.
- [00:09:47.700]And our last tenet is solidarity.
- [00:09:49.890]Recognizing that another person struggles is yours as well
- [00:09:53.070]to be in solidarity with them.
- [00:09:56.220]As part of developing mindful masculinity
- [00:09:58.650]is creating an emotional intelligence toolkit.
- [00:10:01.680]As men and masculine folks,
- [00:10:03.600]the toolkit they may have been given is to not cry
- [00:10:06.660]and show emotions,
- [00:10:08.070]and that the only emotions permissible is to show
- [00:10:11.310]are those involving anger and frustration.
- [00:10:14.280]The step to break away from this
- [00:10:15.750]is to develop the emotional intelligence toolkit.
- [00:10:18.900]The steps in our toolkit will involve learning
- [00:10:20.820]to quickly relieve stress, building emotional intelligence,
- [00:10:24.570]meditating or conducting a breathing exercise
- [00:10:27.390]and continuing to practice these developed skills.
- [00:10:30.750]Our first step in our emotional intelligence toolkit
- [00:10:33.210]is finding ways to quickly relieve stress.
- [00:10:35.970]Stress can exacerbate other emotions such as anger,
- [00:10:39.570]and make them more difficult to cope with.
- [00:10:42.150]By identifying ways to cope with stress,
- [00:10:44.310]the severity of other emotions may be lessened.
- [00:10:47.640]So first, we may want to look
- [00:10:48.930]at ways to cope with stress in the long term.
- [00:10:51.660]This can help in lessening the instances
- [00:10:53.850]where we feel overwhelming instances of stress.
- [00:10:56.880]These types of coping skills are ones you can incorporate
- [00:10:59.370]into your daily routine, such as prioritizing sleep,
- [00:11:02.940]getting in regular physical activity
- [00:11:04.770]and focusing on problems within your control.
- [00:11:07.950]Second is learning to quickly relieve stress as it arises.
- [00:11:11.520]Some strategies for this include practicing deep breathing,
- [00:11:14.940]getting in physical activity, playing with the pet,
- [00:11:18.660]giving yourself a hand massage,
- [00:11:20.640]and writing down what stress you're feeling.
- [00:11:23.430]Trying these strategies
- [00:11:24.570]and others out,
- [00:11:25.403]can be a great way in coping in stressful situations.
- [00:11:29.550]As we discuss emotional intelligence,
- [00:11:31.740]there are four different attributes that compose it.
- [00:11:34.470]The first is self-management.
- [00:11:36.360]This is the ability to control impulsive feelings
- [00:11:38.760]and behaviors and managing your emotions in healthy ways.
- [00:11:42.630]The second is self-awareness, recognizing your own emotions
- [00:11:46.320]and how they affect your thoughts and behavior.
- [00:11:49.230]Then we have social awareness
- [00:11:50.970]which is understanding the emotions, needs
- [00:11:52.800]and concerns of other people and recognizing power dynamics.
- [00:11:57.060]Our fourth and final attribute is relationship management.
- [00:12:00.630]The ability to develop
- [00:12:01.830]and maintain good relationships,
- [00:12:03.720]communicate clearly and work well on a team.
- [00:12:07.260]Oftentimes, emotions such as anger
- [00:12:09.390]and irritation are caused by other emotions
- [00:12:12.000]that we may be feeling.
- [00:12:13.560]For example, I may feel anger on the surface,
- [00:12:16.440]but underneath the anger, I'm feeling disappointed
- [00:12:19.020]or hurt because of how someone treated me.
- [00:12:21.870]In learning to cope with this anger
- [00:12:23.640]I can address the underlying problem
- [00:12:25.620]which is disappointment.
- [00:12:28.140]To assist in identifying these underlying emotions,
- [00:12:30.660]we can use tools such as a feelings wheel.
- [00:12:33.450]A feelings wheel is a great tool
- [00:12:34.920]for expanding our emotional vocabulary.
- [00:12:37.920]With a feelings wheel, we can identify the first emotion
- [00:12:41.280]which is written in the center,
- [00:12:43.290]and get more specific as we move towards the outside.
- [00:12:46.740]For example,
- [00:12:48.090]the initial feeling I may be experiencing is bad,
- [00:12:51.150]in response to managing lots of homework assignments.
- [00:12:54.810]This emotion word is seen in the center in green.
- [00:12:58.230]When I move to the middle ring
- [00:12:59.820]I see more descriptive words other than the word bad,
- [00:13:02.820]such as stressed and tired.
- [00:13:05.400]As I sit with how I feel,
- [00:13:07.260]I may further identify that I feel stressed.
- [00:13:10.380]Then as we move to the outermost ring of the feelings wheel,
- [00:13:13.980]we can see that overwhelmed
- [00:13:15.270]and out of control are words provided
- [00:13:17.490]to be more specific than stress.
- [00:13:20.130]With our example, I may feel
- [00:13:21.870]that all my homework assignments are a lot to manage,
- [00:13:24.660]and I may pick the word overwhelmed to describe my emotion.
- [00:13:28.620]Now that I've identified that I'm feeling overwhelmed,
- [00:13:31.500]I can make a plan to manage this feeling,
- [00:13:33.540]such as making a plan to tackle my assignments,
- [00:13:36.960]or scheduling my day in my calendar.
- [00:13:40.530]Another way to be mindful
- [00:13:41.610]of our emotions is identifying what we feel
- [00:13:44.190]in our body with our emotions.
- [00:13:46.500]To do a body scan,
- [00:13:47.790]we take a pause to identify any emotional, physical,
- [00:13:51.330]mental sensations that arise in how those present.
- [00:13:54.810]To do this, we first begin
- [00:13:56.460]by sitting or lying in a comfortable position.
- [00:13:59.460]Next, you can either close your eyes
- [00:14:01.470]or keep them open, whichever you prefer.
- [00:14:04.800]Then take a few breaths
- [00:14:06.510]and focus on your breathing as you breathe in and out.
- [00:14:11.070]As you start your body scan,
- [00:14:12.780]start from the far end of your body at your feet
- [00:14:15.570]and work your way towards your head.
- [00:14:18.390]As you partake in your body scan, thoughts may come,
- [00:14:21.750]but just treat them as if you walked by a person
- [00:14:23.940]in the park.
- [00:14:25.230]You can say hi to the person as you pass each other
- [00:14:28.200]but do not need to engage in conversation.
- [00:14:31.350]Similar with your thoughts,
- [00:14:32.970]you can acknowledge they're there, but not engage.
- [00:14:36.750]Doing a body scan can make you aware
- [00:14:38.580]of the physical sensations of your emotions
- [00:14:40.920]and give them less control in your reaction.
- [00:14:44.730]As we identify our emotions
- [00:14:46.290]and become aware of how they feel,
- [00:14:48.540]using additional tools like a mood chart
- [00:14:50.730]can help you be aware of patterns in your emotions
- [00:14:53.250]and what provokes different feelings.
- [00:14:55.260]There are a number of different free
- [00:14:56.520]and paid apps that can be helpful in this.
- [00:14:59.070]These apps include PTSD Coach,
- [00:15:01.710]an app geared towards military service members,
- [00:15:04.800]Daylio, Moodfit, MoodTools, and Mindshift CBT.
- [00:15:10.380]As we discussed earlier, one of the messages resulting
- [00:15:13.260]from toxic masculinity is that men can make advancements
- [00:15:16.560]or moves without first receiving a yes.
- [00:15:19.110]However, these actions are all done
- [00:15:20.760]without the consent of other people.
- [00:15:23.040]Consent comes in many different forms.
- [00:15:25.050]There are not only for bedroom or sexual acts.
- [00:15:28.050]It can look like bodily autonomy or healthy conversations,
- [00:15:31.740]it can also be respecting a person's yes or no.
- [00:15:34.680]No matter what the question is, yes
- [00:15:36.600]and no are complete sentences.
- [00:15:39.720]In addition to developing an emotional toolkit,
- [00:15:42.300]another step for men is to identify
- [00:15:44.040]their areas of privilege.
- [00:15:45.660]Examples of privilege, men
- [00:15:46.980]and masculine folks may experience
- [00:15:48.990]include being much less likely to be afraid of walking alone
- [00:15:52.170]in the dark, being paid more for doing the same job,
- [00:15:56.160]not having the capability of their ability
- [00:15:59.490]to make decisions,
- [00:16:00.720]be questioned by what time of the month it is,
- [00:16:03.930]not fearing getting into a cab or ride share
- [00:16:06.900]not fearing their drink will be drugged at a bar,
- [00:16:09.990]and having the privilege to not be aware of male privilege.
- [00:16:14.460]It's also important to note
- [00:16:15.870]that these privileges may be new to trans men,
- [00:16:18.660]depending where they are in their transition.
- [00:16:23.040]Now that we've built awareness
- [00:16:24.330]on the different ways privilege can look for men,
- [00:16:26.760]we can look at how to incorporate this awareness
- [00:16:29.010]into healthy masculinity.
- [00:16:31.080]These ways include identifying your privilege
- [00:16:33.420]and how it gives you an advantage, undertaking the hardships
- [00:16:36.900]and aggression that other people face,
- [00:16:39.330]support others who do not have your advantages.
- [00:16:41.970]And lastly,
- [00:16:42.840]just simply acknowledging the hardships of others.
- [00:16:46.020]Asking for help does not make you less of a man.
- [00:16:48.810]Understand that you are not alone in your struggles,
- [00:16:51.300]and that you're not defined by whatever problem it is
- [00:16:53.550]that you're facing.
- [00:16:54.840]Being well is doing well.
- [00:16:56.970]When you ask for help
- [00:16:58.320]you're combating the stigmas that men can't ask for help
- [00:17:01.350]and that they need to be facing everything alone,
- [00:17:04.530]and know that there are resources available to you for,
- [00:17:06.780]and for you to receive them.
- [00:17:08.730]Thank you for tuning in
- [00:17:09.930]and we hope to see you at one of our future presentations.
- [00:17:13.200]Thank you!
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