Pronouns 101

Gender and Sexuality Center Author

07/31/2023 Added

45 Plays

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Increase your knowledge regarding pronouns and transgender identities using inclusive language. Viewers will practice pronouns and learn tips and tricks to increase comfort using inclusive language and gender-inclusive pronouns.

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[00:00:02.040]Hi, everyone.
[00:00:03.270]Welcome to the Pronouns 101 presentation.
[00:00:06.510]My name is Caitlyn Johnson,
[00:00:08.340]and I'm an intern for the Gender and Sexuality Center
[00:00:11.430]at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
[00:00:14.400]First and foremost, I want to thank you all
[00:00:16.710]for the time you've taken out of your day
[00:00:18.480]to be here and watch this presentation.
[00:00:21.630]Before we get started,
[00:00:23.100]I would like to acknowledge the land we are on right now.
[00:00:26.640]Land acknowledgement is a traditional custom dating
[00:00:29.280]back centuries for many native communities and nations.
[00:00:32.760]And for non-indigenous communities,
[00:00:34.890]land acknowledgement is a powerful way of showing respect
[00:00:37.620]and honoring the indigenous peoples of the land
[00:00:40.500]on which we work and live.
[00:00:42.990]Acknowledgement is a simple way
[00:00:44.550]of resisting the erasure of indigenous histories
[00:00:48.150]and working towards honoring and inviting the truth.
[00:00:51.960]The University of Nebraska is a land grant institution
[00:00:54.750]with campuses and programs on the past, present,
[00:00:57.480]and future homelands of the following tribes listed here.
[00:01:02.040]If you're interested in learning
[00:01:03.210]and supporting the indigenous community,
[00:01:05.130]please refer to the website listed here.
[00:01:07.980]At end of our time together today,
[00:01:09.840]our goal is to have increased your knowledge of pronouns
[00:01:12.330]and related information,
[00:01:14.490]understand the difference between intent versus impact,
[00:01:17.730]and explore inclusive language
[00:01:19.200]that you can use on a daily basis.
[00:01:22.860]So to start, who are we?
[00:01:24.990]We are the Gender and Sexuality Center,
[00:01:26.760]located on the third floor of the Nebraska Union.
[00:01:29.550]We offer a variety of services related to gender
[00:01:31.980]and sexuality to the campus community.
[00:01:37.650]What do we do?
[00:01:39.360]The center in general does a lot of different things.
[00:01:41.760]First, we do presentations, just like this one,
[00:01:44.640]as well as workshops.
[00:01:45.930]There are a number of presentations
[00:01:47.520]and workshops you can request from us that can be done
[00:01:50.190]via the presentations form on our website.
[00:01:52.920]And we'll get back to you within a few days
[00:01:54.690]to set up a time and date for our presentation.
[00:01:58.050]Next, we have a library with resources.
[00:02:00.780]We currently have over 1,500 books, CDs, DVDs, movies,
[00:02:05.910]and really anything that you can imagine
[00:02:07.800]that's related to gender and sexuality topics,
[00:02:10.410]which will be helpful.
[00:02:12.000]Our library also includes a children's library,
[00:02:14.520]with a collection of inclusive and diverse and book choices.
[00:02:18.120]We also have volunteer opportunities.
[00:02:20.340]Students can work with us to complete projects for classes,
[00:02:23.430]or they can volunteer in programming
[00:02:25.680]to help us out around the office.
[00:02:29.040]The Gender and Sexuality Center
[00:02:30.510]also runs a learning community called Prism.
[00:02:33.150]This LC will provide community for students
[00:02:35.700]who identify as LGBTQA+
[00:02:38.910]or allies of the community.
[00:02:41.250]The learning community will be in gender-inclusive housing.
[00:02:45.030]Prism will emphasize the intersectionality
[00:02:47.100]within everyone's identities
[00:02:48.690]and allow students to explore their personal identities
[00:02:51.270]in a supportive and caring space.
[00:02:54.990]The Lavender Closet Clothing Exchange,
[00:02:57.030]which is open during the center's hours,
[00:02:59.250]seeks to provide all UNL students, staff,
[00:03:01.710]and faculty with free and discreet access
[00:03:04.380]to identity-affirming clothing and accessories.
[00:03:07.650]When students feel comfortable
[00:03:08.820]and validated in their expression,
[00:03:10.650]they're free to focus on forwarding their education
[00:03:13.110]and pursuing their dreams.
[00:03:15.240]Folks can stop by the center to request access
[00:03:17.580]to the space to donate or pick out clothes.
[00:03:20.970]There are gender-neutral restrooms on the third floor
[00:03:23.280]for you to try on items if you desire.
[00:03:26.640]An additional resource provided
[00:03:27.930]by the Gender and Sexuality Center
[00:03:29.730]is the distribution of safer sex kits.
[00:03:32.460]These kits contain both condoms and lubricant.
[00:03:35.250]Other supplies, such as dental dams and internal condoms,
[00:03:38.070]are also available.
[00:03:40.110]We also include a number of events
[00:03:41.700]as part of our programming.
[00:03:43.320]These include the History Month Dinner,
[00:03:45.780]drag shows, Lavender Graduation,
[00:03:48.030]and smaller community-building and educational events.
[00:03:51.960]Other events we run include the Gender Equity Conference,
[00:03:55.590]the Woman's History Month celebration,
[00:03:57.690]and the Growing Your Identity event.
[00:04:02.190]Here we have the gender unicorn.
[00:04:04.410]Some of y'all have probably seen this.
[00:04:06.270]This is a great visual to identify the differences
[00:04:08.850]between gender identity, gender expression,
[00:04:11.580]and sex assigned at birth.
[00:04:13.500]It also refers to sexual orientation
[00:04:15.480]and romantic attraction.
[00:04:18.330]So starting at the top,
[00:04:19.770]gender identity is one's internal sense
[00:04:22.560]of being a man, woman, neither, or both.
[00:04:25.950]There's also a little rainbow in the thought bubble,
[00:04:28.230]the bubble above the unicorn's head.
[00:04:30.630]The reason being is because gender identity
[00:04:33.390]is how we think about and view our own gender.
[00:04:36.240]Everyone else's views of that gender do not affect
[00:04:38.610]our gender identity.
[00:04:40.320]That is how they view our gender,
[00:04:41.820]not how they view our own gender.
[00:04:43.680]And you can see under gender identity
[00:04:45.630]how there are three continuums.
[00:04:47.190]And so there is a starting point,
[00:04:48.900]but there is no ending point.
[00:04:51.120]And so there are three under there
[00:04:52.740]that's female, woman,
[00:04:55.170]girl, male, man, boy,
[00:04:57.390]and the other genders are non-binary.
[00:05:00.000]And people can place themselves anywhere
[00:05:01.710]on this continuum spectrum.
[00:05:04.140]And so someone might put themselves high on being a woman,
[00:05:06.930]low on being a man,
[00:05:08.400]and maybe put themselves halfway on other genders.
[00:05:11.940]It is a great way to be able to think about gender
[00:05:14.640]in a way that is not binary.
[00:05:16.770]This is a way to just kind of think beyond the binary.
[00:05:19.740]For transgender people, their sex assigned
[00:05:21.690]at birth would be their own internal sense
[00:05:23.430]of gender identity and not the same.
[00:05:26.820]Then the second thing on here is gender expression.
[00:05:29.280]And you can see that there's a green dot,
[00:05:30.930]and around the unicorn there are also green dots.
[00:05:33.780]So gender expression is how we show our gender
[00:05:36.030]and how we express it to the world.
[00:05:38.520]And so maybe the most common ways
[00:05:39.960]to think about gender expression are our clothing
[00:05:42.510]and the way we style our hair.
[00:05:44.250]But there's also a number
[00:05:45.300]of other things that express gender.
[00:05:47.580]Someone's tone of voice,
[00:05:49.020]or the way that someone may move through the world.
[00:05:51.180]These are all things that also show gender expression.
[00:05:54.540]And so you can see under there is feminine, masculine,
[00:05:57.420]and then there's other or androgynous.
[00:06:00.210]And again, someone can place themselves on anywhere in here.
[00:06:03.060]And so if someone identifies as a woman,
[00:06:05.040]they don't necessarily have to be super high in feminine,
[00:06:07.800]or if someone identifies as a man,
[00:06:09.630]they don't have to be super high in masculine.
[00:06:11.820]Or if someone is non-binary,
[00:06:13.410]they don't have to put themselves super high androgynous.
[00:06:17.310]That's why these are two separate things,
[00:06:19.380]is because gender identity
[00:06:20.610]and gender expression are different,
[00:06:22.830]but they can also change from person to person.
[00:06:26.070]And then on here we have their sex assigned at birth.
[00:06:30.030]You can see that there is a DNA helix.
[00:06:32.370]And that DNA helix corresponds to the helix
[00:06:34.920]on the lower half of the unicorn.
[00:06:37.020]And this is the only section that is not on a continuum.
[00:06:40.080]And so on here there's female,
[00:06:41.880]there's male, and then there's intersex.
[00:06:44.460]And essentially this is what someone
[00:06:46.050]is told they're at birth.
[00:06:49.200]So the doctor will say, "It's a boy,"
[00:06:51.240]or, "It's a girl," or,
[00:06:52.657]"This baby's intersex."
[00:06:54.660]And that is essentially what will go
[00:06:56.010]on someone's birth certificate.
[00:06:57.840]And that is something
[00:06:58.673]that they will just put a check mark on here.
[00:07:01.320]But that does not determine someone's gender identity,
[00:07:03.900]and it does not determine someone's gender expression.
[00:07:08.010]And then physical attraction
[00:07:09.240]and emotional attraction are two
[00:07:11.040]that they have the same little heart next to them,
[00:07:13.560]and you can see that they're even similar colors.
[00:07:16.020]And then on the unicorn they have a slight overlap.
[00:07:19.200]And so I tend to talk about them together
[00:07:21.420]because the combination of them makes up sexual orientation,
[00:07:25.050]or the way that most people think about sexual orientation.
[00:07:27.870]But physical attraction is that sexual attraction to someone
[00:07:31.380]is more of the instantaneous,
[00:07:32.940]aesthetical piece of the attraction.
[00:07:35.010]Whereas emotional attraction is more
[00:07:37.050]of the romantic bond to someone.
[00:07:39.270]And so we talk about them together
[00:07:41.070]because for a lot of people they're going
[00:07:42.600]to overlap at least somewhat.
[00:07:44.250]But that doesn't mean that everyone will have an overlap.
[00:07:47.100]So someone who identifies as asexual,
[00:07:49.230]they might put themselves near the bottom
[00:07:51.120]because they experience low
[00:07:52.350]or no physical attraction to others.
[00:07:54.600]But that doesn't mean
[00:07:55.433]that the emotional attraction they put themselves up higher.
[00:07:59.310]And if someone identifies as aromantic,
[00:08:01.440]they might put themselves near the bottom
[00:08:03.060]of emotional attraction
[00:08:04.590]because they experience low or no romantic attraction.
[00:08:07.500]But that doesn't necessarily mean
[00:08:08.700]that they won't experience high amounts
[00:08:10.710]of physical attraction.
[00:08:16.110]So next here is an overview of terms
[00:08:18.660]that will be important for our conversation.
[00:08:21.240]Transgender refers to a person
[00:08:22.830]whose gender identity does not match
[00:08:24.720]their sex assigned at birth.
[00:08:26.700]This can also serve as an umbrella term
[00:08:28.470]for people who identify as other gender-diverse identities,
[00:08:31.590]such as those who are agender or non-binary.
[00:08:34.620]But that varies person to person.
[00:08:37.110]Cisgender refers to someone
[00:08:38.280]whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth.
[00:08:43.410]A gender-fluid individual can have
[00:08:45.000]different gender identities at different times.
[00:08:47.520]They may also have gender identities at one time
[00:08:50.280]and have nothing during another.
[00:08:51.870]They could also only have one.
[00:08:57.780]A pronoun is a word that refers to an individual
[00:08:59.880]without explicitly saying that person's name.
[00:09:02.580]An example of pronouns would be she, him, and them.
[00:09:06.240]To misgender someone means to refer to them
[00:09:08.550]with their incorrect gender,
[00:09:10.650]whereas to dead name someone means to call them
[00:09:13.380]by their name they held before transitioning
[00:09:16.380]and when they now have a new name.
[00:09:19.500]To start, we'll go over
[00:09:20.550]the most common gender-neutral pronouns.
[00:09:23.700]They/them are grammatically correct
[00:09:25.440]and can be written and spoken.
[00:09:27.450]We also have neopronouns,
[00:09:29.160]which are new pronouns being introduced into our language.
[00:09:32.670]And examples of these are ze, zim, and zir.
[00:09:37.620]Pronouns are not preferred, they're expected.
[00:09:41.580]Because binary pronouns have been ingrained into society,
[00:09:45.150]the best way to get comfortable with them is to practice.
[00:09:48.510]Over time, practicing and rehearsing will help
[00:09:50.940]in overcoming the automatic response.
[00:09:54.090]If someone corrects you on their pronouns,
[00:09:56.130]take a moment to reflect and accept your mistake,
[00:09:59.340]then correct yourself.
[00:10:00.870]All you have to say is, "Oh, thank you for correcting me.
[00:10:04.380]Now I know."
[00:10:08.640]In addition to referring to someone
[00:10:10.050]by their chosen name and pronouns, here are other ways
[00:10:12.720]to make your language be more gender inclusive.
[00:10:16.020]Instead of saying boyfriend, girlfriend, friend,
[00:10:18.600]say partner, spouse, or significant other.
[00:10:22.290]Instead of using the term homosexual,
[00:10:25.050]use the terms gay or lesbian.
[00:10:28.110]Instead of the term sexual preference,
[00:10:31.230]use the term sexual orientation.
[00:10:34.320]Instead of transgendered,
[00:10:36.180]try the words transgender or trans.
[00:10:40.080]Instead of saying ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
[00:10:43.920]try people of all genders.
[00:10:47.130]Instead of man the table or booth,
[00:10:49.410]try staff the table or booth.
[00:10:52.260]Instead of, "Hey, guys,"
[00:10:54.270]try, "Hey, everyone."
[00:10:57.330]Instead of preferred pronouns or preferred name,
[00:11:00.330]try chosen pronouns and chosen name.
[00:11:04.800]Now we're gonna talk about asking about pronouns
[00:11:07.050]and chosen name.
[00:11:08.550]When meeting someone new,
[00:11:10.050]introduce yourself with your pronouns
[00:11:12.120]and ask others for theirs as well.
[00:11:14.520]For example, I would say, "Hi, my name is Caitlyn.
[00:11:18.630]I use she/her pronouns.
[00:11:20.520]I want to make sure I'm addressing you correctly.
[00:11:23.460]How would you like to be addressed?"
[00:11:26.820]When in a group,
[00:11:27.960]ask everyone to identify their pronouns
[00:11:30.090]when giving introductions.
[00:11:31.830]This will make it easier to refer
[00:11:33.360]to everyone correctly the first time
[00:11:35.430]and ease the burden on someone
[00:11:36.840]whose pronouns are often mistaken for another.
[00:11:39.810]It also makes it easier to join in on the discussion
[00:11:42.630]because nobody will have to worry about
[00:11:44.580]how to refer to someone or worry about being misgendered.
[00:11:48.270]Make it the norm.
[00:11:49.680]Practice introducing yourself with your pronouns.
[00:11:52.170]This makes it easier to include your pronouns
[00:11:54.450]and make the environment more inclusive
[00:11:56.520]by not misgendering anybody.
[00:12:00.660]Here's a guide to help you utilize a number
[00:12:02.670]of different pronouns.
[00:12:04.230]To help you understand
[00:12:05.063]how the pronouns would look and sound,
[00:12:06.930]I will give you some examples below
[00:12:08.940]using they/them pronouns.
[00:12:11.490]They laughed at the joke. They gave them a gift.
[00:12:16.710]Their favorite color is blue.
[00:12:19.890]The card is theirs.
[00:12:21.360]They think highly of themselves.
[00:12:24.570]Remember, these are not the only pronouns.
[00:12:26.850]There are new pronouns being added all the time.
[00:12:28.920]So always make sure to ask someone about their pronouns.
[00:12:35.760]Okay, now that we've reviewed how to use pronouns,
[00:12:38.190]let's practice.
[00:12:40.710]In each example, we'll take the provided pronouns
[00:12:43.290]and place them in the sentence.
[00:12:45.240]For this one, we have,
[00:12:46.980]Jamal came with me to the movies but forgot wallet.
[00:12:50.490]And we are provided they as the pronoun.
[00:12:53.100]To speak this out loud, we would say,
[00:12:55.477]"Jamal came with me to the movies,
[00:12:57.570]but they forgot their wallet,
[00:12:59.340]so I bought their ticket for them.
[00:13:01.230]Otherwise, they would have missed the movie!"
[00:13:05.340]Our next provided sentence is,
[00:13:07.470]Angela missed last appointment,
[00:13:10.050]with they as the given pronoun.
[00:13:12.330]We would say this as Angela missed their last appointment.
[00:13:17.040]And our last provided sentence
[00:13:18.810]is Janet/sister co-owns a puppy with Janet.
[00:13:22.440]And our given pronoun is zie.
[00:13:24.930]For this we would say,
[00:13:26.107]"Janet's sister co-owns a puppy with zim."
[00:13:30.030]So now we've gone over how to use pronouns,
[00:13:31.800]and we practiced.
[00:13:32.730]But what happens if you've made a mistake?
[00:13:35.040]Well, we have three steps to follow
[00:13:36.960]if you make a mistake and/or are corrected.
[00:13:40.380]The first is to apologize.
[00:13:42.330]Second, you would correct yourself.
[00:13:44.790]And third, you would move on in the conversation.
[00:13:47.940]So for example, in our previous example, we had Angela.
[00:13:51.150]If I were accidentally to mess up Angela's pronouns,
[00:13:54.810]and they would correct me, I would say,
[00:13:57.397]"I'm sorry, Angela. Missed their last appointment."
[00:14:01.920]Then we would continue our conversation.
[00:14:07.080]In addition to using someone's correct pronouns,
[00:14:09.240]there are other things you can do to be inclusive.
[00:14:12.060]The first is adding your pronouns everywhere.
[00:14:14.970]This includes your email signature,
[00:14:16.710]social media bios, and on your Zoom name.
[00:14:19.710]Second, ask for others' pronouns
[00:14:22.260]and share your own when meeting someone new.
[00:14:24.870]This can let the other person know it's okay
[00:14:26.970]to share their own
[00:14:28.200]and eliminate the chances of anyone being misgendered.
[00:14:32.550]Third, listen with intention
[00:14:34.080]and remember someone's pronouns.
[00:14:36.030]Fourth, when you hear someone misgender another person,
[00:14:38.580]correct them and remind them
[00:14:39.990]of the person's correct pronouns.
[00:14:42.270]Fifth, add all gender options when creating documents.
[00:14:45.900]If someone has to mark their gender,
[00:14:47.970]make sure they're not stuck with male and female
[00:14:49.890]as their only options.
[00:14:51.900]And finally, bring up gender issues and advocate
[00:14:54.480]for the inclusion of all genders.
[00:14:58.200]Let's talk about intent versus impact.
[00:15:00.750]When we make a comment,
[00:15:02.040]we have an intent behind what we said.
[00:15:04.530]However, that intent may not be what's perceived by others.
[00:15:07.560]You made this mistake by misgendering someone.
[00:15:11.610]You meant no harm,
[00:15:12.810]but the impact is felt by the person who was misgendered.
[00:15:17.790]If you're looking for more resources and information
[00:15:19.890]on chosen name and gender identity policy,
[00:15:22.590]check out both of our QR codes.
[00:15:24.720]The one on your left will take you
[00:15:26.010]to training videos on gender diversity created
[00:15:29.010]by the University of Nebraska System.
[00:15:31.380]The QR code on the right will take you
[00:15:33.000]to the online resources page created
[00:15:35.070]by the UNL Gender and Sexuality Center.
[00:15:40.860]Thank you for tuning in.
[00:15:41.700]We hope to see you at one of our future presentations.
[00:15:43.865]Thank you.

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Pronouns 101

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