How to Help Your Child Recognize and Understand Disappointment Holt Boyd Podcast

LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe - Early Childhood Extension Educators Author

01/31/2023 Added

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Disappointment is a normal, though difficult, part of growing up. Your child is likely to experience disappointment as she makes new friends, tries new things and experiences the ups and downs of her world.

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[00:00:00.445]Fit and Healthy Kids - An Early Childhood Podcast. (with music)
[00:00:04.385]Hello from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
[00:00:07.205]This is LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe,
[00:00:09.690]Extension Educators in the field of Early Childhood.
[00:00:13.095]We are here to talk about the littles in your life.
[00:00:17.215](LaDonna Werth) We all have disappointment at all stages of our life.
[00:00:21.215]We hate to see our children struggle with disappointment so
[00:00:25.215]how can we help our children with this feeling of disappointment?
[00:00:29.370](Lisa Poppe) Disappointment is a normal, though difficult, part of growing up.
[00:00:33.612]Your child is likely to experience disappointment as she makes new friends,
[00:00:37.632]tries new things and experiences the ups and downs of her world.
[00:00:41.822]Whether it’s a trip to the park that is ruined by rain or
[00:00:45.216]missing a birthday party, life is full of little and big disappointments.
[00:00:49.986](LaDonna Werth) Should we allow our children to feel disappointed?
[00:00:53.986](Lisa Poppe) Absolutely, when you allow your child to feel,
[00:00:57.600]experience and learn from little disappointments at an early age,
[00:01:02.374]you help her to create the skills she will need to successfully handle
[00:01:06.374]the big disappointments she will experience later
[00:01:09.774]in childhood and even as an adult.
[00:01:12.254](LaDonna Werth) What can I do to help my child with the feeling of disappointment?
[00:01:16.439]Notice and label when you, your child or others are disappointed.
[00:01:21.079]Explain that everyone, including adults, feel disappointment.
[00:01:24.783]You might say: “I am disappointed,
[00:01:27.873]Grandma was supposed to come for a visit but she is home sick.
[00:01:31.663]I think I’m going to make her a Get Well card.” or
[00:01:35.433]"You have tears in your eyes. I see you are disappointed.
[00:01:38.853]You really wanted to go to the park but it is raining.
[00:01:41.503]I wonder what else we can do on a rainy day like today?”
[00:01:44.754](LaDonna Werth) How can I practice ways to handle disappointment?
[00:01:48.754]before a potentially disappointing incident occurs for my child?
[00:01:52.754](Lisa Poppe) Think about this, If you know your child will be disappointed
[00:01:56.754]if someone else is on her favorite swing when you go to the park,
[00:01:59.474]come up with appropriate solutions ahead of time.
[00:02:02.624]You could say, “When we go to the playground,
[00:02:06.284]someone else might be on your favorite swing.
[00:02:09.194]You might feel disappointed. What could you do to stay calm?”
[00:02:12.344]Come up with some solutions such as asking the child for a turn, saying please, or
[00:02:17.504]bringing a shovel and pail to play in the sandbox while the other child is on the swing.
[00:02:21.790]Encourage and teach problem solving with your child.
[00:02:25.320](LaDonna Werth) Can disappointment lead to anger with young children?
[00:02:29.005](Lisa Poppe) Yes! Disappointment can quickly lead to feelings of
[00:02:32.335]anger if it is not acknowledged.
[00:02:34.365]Simply acknowledge her feelings without overreacting.
[00:02:38.245]“You really wanted the red cup.
[00:02:40.145]Your sister has the red cup today.
[00:02:42.335]Do you want the blue or the green one?”
[00:02:44.615]You can also role model how small disappointments
[00:02:46.975]can sometimes end up being positive.
[00:02:49.435]For example, “I was so disappointed that the car was
[00:02:52.405]getting fixed today but I ended up having so much fun with you.
[00:02:56.115]It was a great day!”
[00:02:57.585](LaDonna Werth) Why is it important for parents to help their children recognize
[00:03:01.585]and understand disappointment and problem solve?
[00:03:05.355](Lisa Poppe) The disappointment of not getting to wear the princess dress,
[00:03:08.925]dropping the ice cream cone or not being first in line prepares
[00:03:12.335]children to deal with life’s greater obstacles.
[00:03:15.735]While tempting, it is not helpful for parents to try to keep their children
[00:03:19.735]from feeling disappointment and have life always flow smoothly.
[00:03:24.312]Parents can help their children so much more if they instead
[00:03:27.906]teach them how to recognize and cope with all of their feelings.
[00:03:32.380]Teach children how to cope with emotions instead of
[00:03:35.452]expressing themselves with challenging behaviors.
[00:03:38.692](LaDonna Werth) Disappointment can be a healthy and positive,
[00:03:41.838]although unpleasant emotion in young children.
[00:03:45.108]Parents can help their children to recognize and cope with all of their feelings.
[00:03:50.768]This has been LaDonna and Lisa with the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
[00:03:54.768]Until next time, enjoy your family time together.
[00:03:58.524](Music) Fit and Healthy Kids is a co-production of
[00:04:01.264]Nebraska Extension, Georgia Extension,
[00:04:03.644]Kansas State Extension, South Dakota State Extension,
[00:04:06.614]and the Iowa Childcare Resource and Referral.

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How to Help Your Child Recognize and Understand Disappointment Holt Boyd Podcast

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