How to Help Your Child Recognize and Understand Disappointment
University Nebraska Lincoln
Author
06/03/2022
Added
16
Plays
Description
Learn simple tips on how to help your child understand the emotion of disappointment.
Searchable Transcript
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- [00:00:00.487]"Fit and Healthy Kids." (uplifting music)
- [00:00:02.250]An Early childhood podcast.
- [00:00:04.590]Hello from the University of Nebraska Lincoln.
- [00:00:07.140]This is LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe,
- [00:00:09.660]extension educators in the field of early childhood.
- [00:00:13.170]We are here to talk about
- [00:00:14.550]the littles in your life. (uplifting music)
- [00:00:17.430]We all have disappointment
- [00:00:18.990]at all stages of our life.
- [00:00:21.060]We hate to see our children struggle with disappointment.
- [00:00:24.780]So how can we help our children
- [00:00:27.060]with this feeling of disappointment?
- [00:00:29.460]Disappointment is a normal,
- [00:00:31.440]though difficult, part of growing up.
- [00:00:34.080]Your child is likely to experience disappointment
- [00:00:36.660]as she makes new friends, tries new things,
- [00:00:39.450]and experiences the ups and downs of her world.
- [00:00:42.630]Whether it's a trip to the park that is ruined by rain
- [00:00:45.540]or missing a birthday party,
- [00:00:47.190]life is full of little and big disappointments.
- [00:00:50.730]Should we allow our children
- [00:00:52.470]to feel disappointed?
- [00:00:54.030]Absolutely.
- [00:00:55.710]When you allow your child to feel, experience,
- [00:01:00.157]and learn from little disappointments at an early age,
- [00:01:02.850]you help her to create the skills she will need
- [00:01:05.130]to successfully handle the big disappointments
- [00:01:08.160]she will experience later in childhood
- [00:01:10.440]and even as an adult.
- [00:01:12.210]What can I do to help my child
- [00:01:14.160]with the feeling of disappointment?
- [00:01:16.560]Notice and label when you, your child,
- [00:01:19.140]or even others are disappointed.
- [00:01:21.210]Explain that everyone, including adults,
- [00:01:23.790]feel disappointment.
- [00:01:25.200]You might say, "I'm disappointed.
- [00:01:27.667]"Grandma was supposed to come for a visit
- [00:01:30.037]"but she is home sick.
- [00:01:31.597]"I think I'm gonna make her a get well card."
- [00:01:34.560]Or, "You have tears in your eyes.
- [00:01:36.967]"I see you're disappointed.
- [00:01:38.587]"You really wanted to go to the park but it's raining.
- [00:01:41.617]"I wonder what else we can do on a rainy day like today."
- [00:01:44.880]How can I practice ways
- [00:01:46.560]to handle disappointment before a potential
- [00:01:49.830]disappointment incident occurs for my child?
- [00:01:53.130]Think about this.
- [00:01:54.300]If you know your child will be disappointed
- [00:01:56.670]if someone else is on our favorite swing
- [00:01:58.770]when you go to the park,
- [00:02:00.210]come up with appropriate solutions ahead of time.
- [00:02:03.360]You could say, "When we go to the playground
- [00:02:05.947]"someone else might be on your favorite swing.
- [00:02:08.707]"You might feel disappointed.
- [00:02:10.657]"What could you do to stay calm?"
- [00:02:13.140]Come up with some solutions,
- [00:02:14.310]such as asking the child for a turn,
- [00:02:16.620]saying please or bringing a shovel and a pail
- [00:02:18.810]to play in the sandbox
- [00:02:19.980]while the other child is on the swing.
- [00:02:22.170]Encourage and teach problem solving with your child.
- [00:02:25.560]Can disappointment lead to anger
- [00:02:27.510]with young children?
- [00:02:28.860]Yes, disappointment can quickly lead
- [00:02:31.440]to feelings of anger if it is not acknowledged.
- [00:02:34.230]Simple acknowledge her feelings without overreacting.
- [00:02:38.077]"You really wanted the red cup?
- [00:02:39.847]"Your sister has the red cup today.
- [00:02:41.947]"Do you want the blue or the green one?"
- [00:02:44.430]You can also role model how small disappointments
- [00:02:47.160]can sometimes end up being positive.
- [00:02:49.470]For example, "I was so disappointed
- [00:02:51.427]"that the car was getting fixed today
- [00:02:53.377]"but I ended up having so much fun with you.
- [00:02:55.777]"It was a great day."
- [00:02:57.150]Why is it important
- [00:02:58.410]for parents to help their children recognize
- [00:03:01.440]and understand disappointment and problem solve?
- [00:03:05.490]The disappointment of not getting
- [00:03:07.050]to wear the princess dress,
- [00:03:08.640]dropping the ice cream cone,
- [00:03:10.470]or not being first in line
- [00:03:11.970]prepares children to deal with life's greater obstacles.
- [00:03:15.810]While tempting, it is not helpful for parents
- [00:03:19.080]to try to keep their children from feeling disappointment
- [00:03:21.780]and have life always flow smoothly.
- [00:03:24.690]Parents can help their children so much more
- [00:03:27.360]if they instead teach them how to recognize
- [00:03:30.060]and cope with all of their feelings.
- [00:03:32.520]Teach children how to cope with emotions
- [00:03:34.980]instead of expressing themselves with challenging behaviors.
- [00:03:38.520]Disappointment can be healthy and positive,
- [00:03:41.460]although unpleasant emotions in young children.
- [00:03:45.030]Parents can help their children to recognize
- [00:03:47.460]and cope with all of their feelings.
- [00:03:50.700]This has been LaDonna and Lisa
- [00:03:52.650]with the University of Nebraska Lincoln.
- [00:03:54.810]Until next time, enjoy your family time together.
- [00:03:58.243](uplifting music) "Fit and Healthy Kids"
- [00:04:00.060]is a co-production of Nebraska Extension,
- [00:04:02.520]Georgia Extension, Kansas State Extension,
- [00:04:05.100]South Dakota State Extension,
- [00:04:06.840]and the Iowa Childcare Resource and Referral.
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