How to Understand the Meaning of Your Child's Challenging Behavior.

University Nebraska Lincoln Author

06/03/2022 Added

7 Plays

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Start learning how to understand your child's behavior.

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[00:00:00.000]Fit and Healthy Kids,
[00:00:01.990]an early childhood podcast.
[00:00:04.570]Hello from the University Nebraska Lincoln.
[00:00:07.110]This is LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe,
[00:00:09.620]extension educators in the field of early childhood.
[00:00:13.130]We are here to talk about the littles in your life.
[00:00:16.841](soft music)
[00:00:17.674]As a parent, we may see our children behave
[00:00:20.630]in ways that doesn't make sense.
[00:00:22.860]And we ask ourselves, why does she keep doing that?
[00:00:27.370]As a parent, we may become very frustrated,
[00:00:30.820]especially when it seems like it should be easy
[00:00:33.540]for our children to figure out on her own.
[00:00:36.660]In moments like this, it is important to remember
[00:00:39.590]that children continue to use a behavior because it works.
[00:00:43.500]Your child's behavior is a powerful communication tool
[00:00:46.860]that she uses to tell you what she needs or what she wants.
[00:00:51.410]So sometimes when a child does not know the appropriate way
[00:00:55.560]such as the words to use, sign language,
[00:00:58.110]or even pointing to pictures
[00:00:59.670]to express her needs or wants,
[00:01:02.000]she may use challenging behavior.
[00:01:04.140]like kidding, screaming or spitting to communicate.
[00:01:09.220]Challenging behavior gives children the ability
[00:01:11.750]to send a message in a fast and powerful way.
[00:01:15.750]Children will use challenging behavior to communicate
[00:01:19.130]until they learn new or even more appropriate ways
[00:01:22.330]to express their wants and needs.
[00:01:24.850]To change the behavior,
[00:01:26.270]it is so important for you to first discover
[00:01:29.220]what is causing the behavior.
[00:01:31.230]If you know why your child is choosing a behavior
[00:01:34.810]you can then teach her to communicate her wants and needs
[00:01:38.670]in a new way that everyone can feel good about!
[00:01:42.700]Why do children use these challenging behaviors?
[00:01:46.310]They use it to get something,
[00:01:48.500]such as attention, a toy or even a nap,
[00:01:52.260]or to get out of doing something such as going to bed,
[00:01:56.340]eating a new food or getting buckled in the car seat.
[00:01:59.810]I hear there is a four-step process
[00:02:03.000]we can take to try and figure out
[00:02:05.300]why our children are having challenging behaviors.
[00:02:08.200]Yes, first observe!
[00:02:10.910]Pay careful attention to what is happening
[00:02:13.130]when your child displays this challenging behavior.
[00:02:15.920]And second keep track of when the behavior occurs.
[00:02:19.120]Do you always see the behaviors just before nap time?
[00:02:22.330]Perhaps your child is tired
[00:02:23.900]and you can change your routine to include errands
[00:02:26.190]in the morning and quiet at-home activities
[00:02:29.040]before nap time.
[00:02:30.750]Next, brainstorm ideas
[00:02:32.490]about what your child is trying to get
[00:02:34.940]or avoid doing by challenging behavior.
[00:02:38.100]The more you watch your child,
[00:02:39.530]the more you'll be able to narrow your list down
[00:02:42.470]to a few possible reasons why the behavior is occurring.
[00:02:46.200]And finally, once you have an understanding
[00:02:48.610]of why your child chooses to use this challenging behavior
[00:02:52.700]you can teach him a new way
[00:02:54.380]to behave in that situation.
[00:02:56.740]How can we help our children learn
[00:02:58.700]a new behavior?
[00:03:00.120]Well, many families use puppets, dolls,
[00:03:03.860]or other toys to act out the new skill with their child.
[00:03:07.740]So for example, you can make the doll say,
[00:03:10.840]I really want to play outside.
[00:03:13.160]I want to open the door and run,
[00:03:15.520]but mommy says I need to wait for her.
[00:03:18.240]I won't scream.
[00:03:19.890]I will say, hurry up, mommy.
[00:03:21.780]I am ready to play.
[00:03:23.740]You can also read books.
[00:03:25.320]Children often tell you how they are feeling
[00:03:27.560]when they are trying to guess how others are feeling.
[00:03:30.640]Ask your child questions about a character
[00:03:32.870]in a book as a way to start
[00:03:34.650]to talk about your child's own behavior.
[00:03:37.210]I have heard some parents talk
[00:03:39.080]with their children before a situation may happen.
[00:03:42.820]What do you think about that?
[00:03:44.840]Yes, sometimes children simply want to know
[00:03:47.960]about what is planned ahead
[00:03:49.570]of time or to be included in the planning.
[00:03:52.690]Parents' schedules are so busy
[00:03:54.490]and you often need to get things done quickly.
[00:03:57.310]However, quick transitions can feel overwhelming
[00:04:00.430]to young children.
[00:04:01.690]If you take a few minutes
[00:04:03.160]to include your child in the plan,
[00:04:05.510]you will likely see a dramatic decrease
[00:04:08.320]in challenging behavior.
[00:04:10.130]Lisa, why is it important
[00:04:11.850]for us to understand our child's behavior?
[00:04:14.830]Well, the more familiar you are
[00:04:16.810]with how your child reacts
[00:04:18.190]to everyday situations, the easier it's gonna be
[00:04:21.460]for you to teach him appropriate ways
[00:04:23.860]to deal with challenges,
[00:04:25.550]like frustration, stress, or even being tired.
[00:04:29.950]Children who learn how to manage these situations
[00:04:32.970]feel more confident and are less likely
[00:04:35.180]to use challenging behavior to communicate their needs.
[00:04:38.850]As a parent, it can be fun and rewarding
[00:04:41.290]to figure out what our child is thinking and why.
[00:04:44.990]Then we can guide our children
[00:04:46.630]through their challenging behavior.
[00:04:49.090]This has been LaDonna and Lisa
[00:04:51.030]with the University Nebraska Lincoln.
[00:04:53.190]Until next time enjoy your family time together!
[00:04:56.816](bright music)
[00:04:57.649]Fit and healthy kids is a co-production
[00:04:59.400]of Nebraska Extension, Georgia Extension,
[00:05:01.970]Kansas State Extension, South Dakota State Extension
[00:05:05.150]and the Iowa Childcare Resource and Referral.

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How to Understand the Meaning of Your Child's Challenging Behavior.

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