Helping Your Child Stop Hitting and Pushing

University Nebraska Lincoln Author

05/27/2022 Added

5 Plays

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Helpful Hints on How to Help Your Child Stop Hitting and Pushing

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[00:00:01.035](upbeat music)
[00:00:02.037]"Fit & Healthy Kids,"
[00:00:03.820]an early childhood podcast.
[00:00:06.510]Hello, from Nebraska Extension.
[00:00:08.810]This is LaDonna Worth and Lisa Poppe,
[00:00:11.450]extension educators in the field of early childhood.
[00:00:15.530]We bring the research
[00:00:16.720]from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln to you!
[00:00:19.748](upbeat music)
[00:00:21.170]Like many parents and caregivers,
[00:00:23.250]you may have found yourself
[00:00:24.650]in a situation where despite your best efforts,
[00:00:28.070]your child continues to hit and push you or other children.
[00:00:32.140]Lisa, how do you ever begin to address this issue?
[00:00:35.660]Well, to address this behavior,
[00:00:37.690]it is important to understand that your child
[00:00:39.620]has his own opinions
[00:00:41.190]and probably wants to do more things for himself.
[00:00:44.150]Yet he may not have the language skills
[00:00:46.090]or the impulse control to make those things happen.
[00:00:49.140]This experience can be frustrating for him
[00:00:51.990]and his first reaction might be to hit or to push.
[00:00:55.970]And young children often express difficult emotions
[00:00:58.890]such as frustration, anger, or embarrassment
[00:01:02.560]by acting out physically.
[00:01:04.400]Many children do not know a different way
[00:01:06.240]to handle difficult emotions.
[00:01:08.520]Parents often express to me
[00:01:10.540]they are embarrassed by their child hitting others.
[00:01:13.720]Yes, it is very common
[00:01:15.490]for parents to feel embarrassed
[00:01:16.860]by this behavior and frustrated when it continues.
[00:01:20.830]When parents spank, laugh or ignore the hitting and pushing,
[00:01:24.980]they are actually telling their child
[00:01:26.500]that it is acceptable to hit and push.
[00:01:29.230]New behaviors that the child can use instead of hitting
[00:01:32.600]need to be taught and modeled
[00:01:34.530]by parents and their caregivers.
[00:01:37.080]With patience and time, you can teach your child
[00:01:39.810]appropriate ways to handle disappointment
[00:01:42.200]and frustration that will allow him
[00:01:44.470]to feel confident and successful
[00:01:46.760]when playing with friends and siblings.
[00:01:49.290]What are some ways parents
[00:01:50.740]can help their children at home?
[00:01:52.680]One way is books.
[00:01:54.500]Read the book "Hands Are Not for Hitting."
[00:01:57.260]This story helps children understand
[00:01:59.410]why they feel like hitting
[00:02:01.020]and teaches things they can do instead.
[00:02:03.890]This book helps the child understand
[00:02:06.460]how to use her hands in an appropriate way.
[00:02:09.800]Teach your child about her emotions.
[00:02:12.180]Notice and label a variety of feelings.
[00:02:15.240]I see that you were getting angry.
[00:02:17.170]Your hands are in fists and your face is scrunched up.
[00:02:20.420]You can tell me you are mad, but you can't hit me.
[00:02:24.920]You could also trace your child's hands
[00:02:27.040]on a piece of paper and place them on the wall.
[00:02:30.070]Teach her to push on the paper on the wall
[00:02:32.440]when she is frustrated or disappointed.
[00:02:35.240]With enthusiasm, tell her,
[00:02:36.887]"You are getting out that frustration in your body.
[00:02:40.000]What a great way to deal with your feelings."
[00:02:42.830]Tell your child what she can do.
[00:02:45.240]You can say to her, "When you are frustrated,
[00:02:47.980]you can scream into a pillow, push on the wall
[00:02:50.730]or say, 'Help, please.'"
[00:02:53.840]Children learn safe and healthy ways
[00:02:55.630]to express their emotions through stories too,
[00:02:58.600]like using puppets or role playing.
[00:03:01.360]At school or at childcare,
[00:03:02.780]their teachers also post class rules
[00:03:05.030]showing children what we keep our friends,
[00:03:08.110]selves and toys safe.
[00:03:10.680]If the child hits or pushes another child
[00:03:12.730]at school or childcare, teachers first give attention
[00:03:16.000]to the child who is injured
[00:03:17.510]and have the other child help her feel better.
[00:03:20.730]This could include maybe getting an ice pack,
[00:03:23.460]offering her a hug or bringing her a stuffed animal to hold.
[00:03:26.830]Once the injured child has been helped and everyone is calm,
[00:03:30.830]teachers talk to the child who hit
[00:03:33.060]and together they talk about how he was feeling
[00:03:36.250]and think of a different way
[00:03:37.440]he could have handled the situation.
[00:03:39.700]Lisa, what is the bottom line
[00:03:41.610]with this aggressive behavior?
[00:03:43.880]The bottom line, aggressive behavior like hitting
[00:03:47.240]or pushing happens when a child does not know
[00:03:50.410]how to handle strong emotions.
[00:03:52.640]While parents must tell their child
[00:03:54.380]that hitting and pushing are not okay,
[00:03:56.780]it is also important for parents
[00:03:58.600]to teach a new behavior that he can use instead of
[00:04:01.760]when he feels angry, frustrated, or embarrassed.
[00:04:05.260]Parents can help children learn new, positive ways
[00:04:08.740]to solve problems or express their feelings
[00:04:11.420]before aggressive behavior is likely to occur.
[00:04:15.000]This has been great advice.
[00:04:16.680]Hitting can be a common problem with young children.
[00:04:19.520]By using these strategies we have heard today,
[00:04:22.600]along with practice and encouragement,
[00:04:25.730]children can feel confident
[00:04:27.490]managing their body and emotions.
[00:04:30.440]This has been LaDonna and Lisa
[00:04:32.390]with the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
[00:04:34.550]Until next time, enjoy your family time together.
[00:04:38.507]"Fit & Healthy Kids" is a co-production
[00:04:40.680]of Nebraska Extension, Georgia Extension,
[00:04:43.260]Kansas State Extension, South Dakota State Extension
[00:04:46.430]and the Iowa Child Care Resource & Referral.
[00:04:49.391](upbeat music fades)

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Tags:
early childhood
fit and healthy kids
hitting
pushing

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Helping Your Child Stop Hitting and Pushing

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