Go Big Grad | Sarah Gervais

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12/20/2021 Added

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Sarah Gervais, Susan J. Rosowski Professor of psychology at Nebraska, delivers the Dec 17, 2022 graduate commencement address “Where Joy Lives.”

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[00:00:04.140]Hi everyone.
[00:00:05.250]I'm so honored and humbled to be with
[00:00:08.400]you here today to celebrate the
[00:00:10.380]significant accomplishment.
[00:00:13.620]I imagine that when you decided to seek
[00:00:16.320]this degree, you thought this moment
[00:00:18.720]would bring you tremendous joy.
[00:00:21.840]And that got me to thinking what I know
[00:00:24.060]about joy, as a social psychologist, as
[00:00:27.960]a professor, and as a mother, and I want
[00:00:31.920]to start by sharing a personal story.
[00:00:36.930]Last November, my life took a hairpin
[00:00:40.080]turn off the joyful path.
[00:00:43.560]My three year old daughter Millie,
[00:00:45.690]landed in the intensive care unit at
[00:00:47.850]UNMC.
[00:00:49.140]With a life threatening medical
[00:00:50.400]diagnosis, we had to relocate Millie to
[00:00:54.030]another state so she could get cutting
[00:00:57.060]edge treatment for her rare illness.
[00:01:00.870]The fear, the anger, and the grief were
[00:01:06.600]real.
[00:01:09.270]But like so many people who have taken
[00:01:11.610]major detours during this unprecedented
[00:01:14.100]time, we found that joy dwells in many
[00:01:18.210]places.
[00:01:20.580]Joy lives in blowing kisses on FaceTime.
[00:01:25.260]Joy lives in ruby red strawberries
[00:01:27.450]bursting with sweetness in the hospital
[00:01:29.430]cafeteria during January.
[00:01:33.150]Joy lives in reminders of Nebraska when
[00:01:35.880]we are greeted with a photograph of
[00:01:37.800]UNL's Tri-Delta sorority as a top
[00:01:40.590]fundraiser for hospital housing.
[00:01:43.590]Joy lives in candles lit by friends
[00:01:45.960]holding vigil during surgery.
[00:01:49.980]Join lives on the Disney Channel.
[00:01:52.110]I am not kidding.
[00:01:53.220]I'm talking about a three year old here.
[00:01:55.530]Plus earplugs for Mama.
[00:01:58.110]I'm a little kidding.
[00:02:00.780]Joy lives on the playground as Milly
[00:02:02.640]befriends kids with similar diagnoses.
[00:02:06.360]Joy lives in the grace of prayers from
[00:02:09.270]family, friends, colleagues and
[00:02:12.810]students.
[00:02:16.260]Joy lives in positive lab results.
[00:02:19.860]Joy lives in dropping Millie off at
[00:02:21.750]preschool when we were told she'd never
[00:02:24.090]go again.
[00:02:26.040]Joy lives here. Joy lives now.
[00:02:31.830]A medical crisis might seem an odd topic
[00:02:34.560]for commencement remarks.
[00:02:36.900]While the details likely look different
[00:02:39.210]from yours, living through a global
[00:02:42.150]pandemic while completing a graduate
[00:02:44.310]degree is also extremely challenging.
[00:02:48.540]Take a minute and reflect on what a
[00:02:50.880]remarkable accomplishment we are
[00:02:52.980]celebrating today.
[00:02:55.230]And where you found joy in your
[00:02:57.330]educational journey.
[00:02:59.640]No doubt the hope the inspiration and
[00:03:04.200]the passion have been real, but so
[00:03:07.080]likely are feelings of anxiety,
[00:03:10.890]frustration, and not enoughness.
[00:03:14.760]And still, my guess is that the ups, the
[00:03:18.720]downs, and even the mundane have been
[00:03:21.480]dotted with many moments of joy.
[00:03:24.110]Because joy lives in the classroom where
[00:03:27.890]a professor first sparked your
[00:03:29.690]curiosity.
[00:03:31.640]Joy lives in late nights studying with
[00:03:33.560]classmates likely with the assistance of
[00:03:36.080]copious amounts of caffeine.
[00:03:39.200]Joy lives in long hours in the lab.
[00:03:42.200]Love library in the Mill on Innovation
[00:03:44.990]Campus.
[00:03:47.120]Joy lives in the green light from your
[00:03:48.950]advisor for thesis topic.
[00:03:52.250]Joy lives in a happy hour, a home cooked
[00:03:54.920]dinner, or late night trip to Runza
[00:03:57.680]after passing comprehensive exams.
[00:04:01.580]Joy lives in funny cat memes in the chat
[00:04:03.800]during a long zoom call.
[00:04:06.680]Joy lives in the glee of leaving campus
[00:04:08.690]early on a warm day in February.
[00:04:13.130]Joy lives in figuring it out when you
[00:04:14.960]weren't sure you could.
[00:04:16.520]Or you would.
[00:04:18.980]Joy lives and walking into your
[00:04:20.510]practicum site and feeling like you
[00:04:22.670]found your second home.
[00:04:25.580]Joy lives in paperwork.
[00:04:27.260]Yes paperwork, paperwork submitted to
[00:04:30.080]graduate.
[00:04:32.540]Joy lives in the spaciousness of
[00:04:34.310]completing your last final.
[00:04:37.460]Joy lives in the phone calls saying
[00:04:39.260]you'll take the job or that you won't,
[00:04:42.260]because you know you'll find something
[00:04:43.700]better.
[00:04:45.110]Joy lives here.
[00:04:47.090]Joy lives now.
[00:04:49.370]So take a deep breath.
[00:04:53.150]I'm taking a deep breath myself and soak
[00:04:55.640]it all in.
[00:04:57.170]When you walk on the stage to receive
[00:04:58.820]your diploma, bask in the sense of
[00:05:01.040]accomplishment.
[00:05:02.180]You have done something amazing during
[00:05:04.760]an extraordinarily difficult time.
[00:05:07.610]Savor each hug from the people who have
[00:05:10.730]supported you every step along the way.
[00:05:14.270]Cherish the connection to the community
[00:05:17.060]you've created at UNL.
[00:05:20.570]You are all at a high point on your
[00:05:23.060]journey right now.
[00:05:24.230]Earning this degree represents a summit
[00:05:26.270]of sorts.
[00:05:28.010]Where will you go from here?
[00:05:30.620]You'll likely find yourself trekking up
[00:05:32.480]other mountains.
[00:05:34.610]Or you might find yourself running down
[00:05:36.530]the wrong path.
[00:05:38.300]Or you might find yourself in the
[00:05:39.590]wilderness without a map.
[00:05:41.870]Probably all of the above at different
[00:05:44.270]points in your career and your life.
[00:05:49.130]On good days, I imagine I've been handed
[00:05:51.770]a blank page and that I will chart a new
[00:05:54.770]path with lessons I've learned over the
[00:05:56.900]past year.
[00:05:58.640]But most days, I have no idea where I'm
[00:06:00.890]going.
[00:06:02.920]Then Millie sprints to scare the
[00:06:04.330]grackles from our bird feeder.
[00:06:06.820]A student has an aha moment in my class,
[00:06:10.150]or a family sits down to dinner.
[00:06:13.060]And I realized we don't need a map for
[00:06:14.860]joy.
[00:06:16.360]In the places this degree will take you,
[00:06:19.390]hopefully in the company of good people
[00:06:21.850]and doing something that helps our
[00:06:23.500]world, you can find joy at any step
[00:06:27.370]along the way.
[00:06:28.810]Thank you very much.

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Go Big Grad | Sarah Gervais

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