Make It Your Best Identity

Kyla Gorji Author

04/12/2021 Added

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2021 Pre-Retirement webinar

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[00:00:00.000]Next up on our agenda.
[00:00:01.536]We are excited to have Kyla Gorji
[00:00:05.389]the director of Employee Assistance
[00:00:07.388]Program at the University Nebraska.
[00:00:09.125]She is going to present on
[00:00:12.005]Making it Your Best Identity,
[00:00:14.909]Your Retirement.
[00:00:16.272]So Kyla, feel free to take it away.
[00:00:18.728]Yes. Good morning everyone.
[00:00:21.430]We're going to shift gears a little bit.
[00:00:23.640]We're going to talk about some
[00:00:26.506]psychological aspects of retirement
[00:00:29.199]instead of money aspects that will
[00:00:32.012]give you some options to think about
[00:00:34.562]in terms of planning for a more satisfied,
[00:00:39.913]less stressful psychological retirement.
[00:00:45.462]So what I'm going to do here is,
[00:00:49.476]start some slides.
[00:01:02.499]Making this your best identity.
[00:01:05.486]Does the picture seem a little fuzzy yet?
[00:01:08.807]It is hard to imagine if you are even
[00:01:11.457]two or three years out, maybe you're
[00:01:14.274]10 or 15 years out from retirement.
[00:01:17.308]Does it seem like it's hard to imagine
[00:01:19.607]what it's actually going to be like
[00:01:21.624]to not go to work every day?
[00:01:26.021]Here are some common words that we
[00:01:28.928]think of when we are imagining retirement.
[00:01:32.252]Some of the positive things I want you to
[00:01:34.875]be excited about. I want you to feel like
[00:01:37.909]okay I'm going to have some freedom.
[00:01:39.790]I'm going to travel.
[00:01:41.420]It's going to be great to relax more.
[00:01:43.541]I'm going to have exciting things
[00:01:45.293]to look forward to.
[00:01:47.224]Lots of fun, lots of time with family,
[00:01:51.025]joyful activities, all these great things.
[00:01:57.758]One question I want you to think about is,
[00:02:02.533]Is work, what I do, or his work, who I am?
[00:02:10.314]Is work what I do, or his work who I am?
[00:02:14.667]If you are to take away your title
[00:02:18.007]right now, or your work identity...
[00:02:21.075]Would that feel like such a huge loss?
[00:02:23.894]Would it feel like I'm losing who I am?
[00:02:26.813]If it's 'what I do' that transition or the
[00:02:31.867]identity transition can be a little bit
[00:02:35.243]easier than if it's 'who I am.'
[00:02:40.768]We want to avoid falling off the
[00:02:42.917]Identity Cliff, right?
[00:02:45.080]We want to be able to have a safe plan,
[00:02:48.754]feel like 'when I get there, I'm not all
[00:02:53.177]of a sudden going to feel loss
[00:02:55.424]or loss of identity.'
[00:02:59.821]Here's some tips about keeping a
[00:03:01.743]foundation underneath you.
[00:03:04.939]That means, 'what do I keep the same?'
[00:03:07.772]Even though I'm not working,
[00:03:09.185]I'm suddenly not working at
[00:03:10.532]the university anymore.
[00:03:12.119]What could I keep the same?
[00:03:14.415]I'm going to drink coffee every morning,
[00:03:16.963]just like I normally would.
[00:03:19.992]It can continue to be a great ritual.
[00:03:22.935]I'm gonna keep an Outlook calendar.
[00:03:26.632]I can still use Outlook. I can still stay
[00:03:29.626]up-to-date on using that technology.
[00:03:33.108]I'm going to sit down at the desk
[00:03:34.772]every day. I going to sit down and check
[00:03:38.259]my retirement fund. Maybe I'm going to
[00:03:42.589]check my emails. Hopefully there's only
[00:03:45.113]2 or 3 every day instead of 10 or 20.
[00:03:49.215]And maybe I'm going to look at my budget
[00:03:52.575]or pay some bills or reach out
[00:03:55.017]to somebody socially.
[00:03:57.458]But just that idea of, here's what I do.
[00:03:59.825]Here's my desk, and I have this
[00:04:01.858]routine every day.
[00:04:04.611]I'm going to go out to lunch
[00:04:06.089]with a friend once a week.
[00:04:07.405]We have a lot of socialization at work,
[00:04:12.288]that will be less when we retire.
[00:04:15.840]So we have to be careful for that
[00:04:18.272]not to decrease too much and plan on
[00:04:21.180]what kinds of activities regularly are we
[00:04:23.139]going to do with other people.
[00:04:32.063]The other 2 are keep learning and reading
[00:04:35.445]about anything that you're interested in.
[00:04:38.379]it's good for your aging brain
[00:04:40.070]to keep thinking about
[00:04:41.649]'how do I learn and stimulate?'
[00:04:44.713]Might be with books or podcasts
[00:04:47.234]or YouTube or taking a class,
[00:04:50.497]Other individuals that you know that
[00:04:52.722]have the knowledge. And stay current
[00:04:55.146]on your computer skills.
[00:05:04.621]Next thing I want to do is look at this
[00:05:07.833]page here. This is changing your
[00:05:10.220]identity in retirement.
[00:05:11.688]You should have this as a handout.
[00:05:14.836]These squares are some literature that
[00:05:18.947]talks about different identities and
[00:05:21.294]how to find a new identity that you might
[00:05:25.362]want to develop after retirement.
[00:05:27.915]You can use this handout
[00:05:29.259]to jot down a few ideas.
[00:05:33.690]A searcher is an individual that keeps
[00:05:36.645]looking for their next identity
[00:05:38.855]and keeps trying new things.
[00:05:42.210]An example of this individual is someone
[00:05:46.128]who may try volunteering,
[00:05:48.578]and then a small business idea,
[00:05:51.244]then fishing trips,
[00:05:53.094]and then maybe volunteering again.
[00:05:55.493]So they have about 4 or 5 things that
[00:05:58.617]they know they like to do,
[00:06:00.393]and they keep rotating those.
[00:06:05.576]A Continuer. A Continuer is an individual
[00:06:08.574]that continues the same path
[00:06:10.925]in a slightly different form.
[00:06:12.755]For example, a full time teacher is now
[00:06:16.389]teaching one class at
[00:06:18.072]a different organization,
[00:06:21.139]or a chemist becomes a chemistry tutor for
[00:06:24.921]high school age students.
[00:06:27.504]Important thing about this identity change
[00:06:31.038]is that you can still say,
[00:06:34.139]'Yes I'm a teacher' or
[00:06:35.388]'Yes, I'm a chemist.'
[00:06:37.954]It feels like I'm continuing
[00:06:39.788]that same identity.
[00:06:42.828]Adventurer. An individual who seeks to
[00:06:45.614]live out and unrealized dream.
[00:06:48.650]So this is the person who
[00:06:50.875]always wanted to do something,
[00:06:53.100]but never quite did it. Never had the
[00:06:56.167]courage or the money,
[00:06:57.747]or the encouragement to go ahead
[00:07:00.317]and realize that dream.
[00:07:02.301]So for example,
[00:07:03.690]a bank manager opens a dog rescue, or
[00:07:06.600]an IT professional starts an art business.
[00:07:13.380]And then there's the Easy Glider.
[00:07:16.004]The individual who wants to take time
[00:07:18.310]to relax without structure.
[00:07:20.245]And this is just fine.
[00:07:22.375]There may be many people
[00:07:24.320]who want to take this route and say
[00:07:26.796]"I don't want to have anybody telling
[00:07:29.509]me what to do anymore.'
[00:07:31.498]And that's okay.
[00:07:32.700]I would encourage you to think about
[00:07:34.807]a time frame for this.
[00:07:37.106]I want to be an Easy Glider for 6 months,
[00:07:40.615]one year, two years,
[00:07:42.681]and then I want to venture
[00:07:44.748]into the other areas of my identity.
[00:07:51.302]Here's some questions to ask yourself.
[00:07:54.082]If you'd like to, you can use your phone
[00:07:56.312]or your camera at this point and take a
[00:07:58.731]picture of these questions, and give you
[00:08:01.531]some things to think about as you go
[00:08:04.448]through the time period
[00:08:06.564]prior to retirement.
[00:08:10.781]What would I have chosen for my career
[00:08:13.069]if money was not an issue?
[00:08:16.787]Do I want to keep working part time?
[00:08:19.616]And maybe that part time
[00:08:21.499]looks like one day a week, even.
[00:08:27.225]What am I passionate about that
[00:08:29.516]I could turn into a small business?
[00:08:32.743]Where would I like to volunteer
[00:08:34.849]one day a week?
[00:08:37.625]How will I continue to learn?
[00:08:42.068]How will I keep up my computer skills?
[00:08:45.751]What will I be missing about working?
[00:08:50.484]Most people would say,
[00:08:52.017]'I don't miss the actual work,
[00:08:54.417]but at the university, I miss the people,'
[00:08:57.652]or 'I missed the campus'
[00:08:59.651]'I miss staying informed about everything
[00:09:03.767]that's going on on campus.'
[00:09:06.701]So really be thinking about how to
[00:09:08.352]integrate that.
[00:09:11.267]'How will I combat boredom'
[00:09:14.751]'Do I have a bucket list?' and
[00:09:16.233]'how will I accomplish those dreams?'
[00:09:20.184]When do I want to change my
[00:09:21.500]housing situation?
[00:09:24.934]What people do I want to spend time with?
[00:09:30.284]And what have I learned from
[00:09:32.301]other retirees? Ask questions.
[00:09:35.320]Ask your friends. How's it going?
[00:09:37.485]What are they doing? and
[00:09:38.653]How did they figure things out?
[00:09:42.910]Be prepared for the unexpected
[00:09:45.210]health issues, spouse or partner
[00:09:48.377]expectations. This may be the first time
[00:09:50.626]where a spouse and partner are at home
[00:09:55.027]almost all the time for the first time
[00:09:58.794]in many years, so there's some
[00:10:01.626]negotiating and some communication
[00:10:03.893]there for those expectations.
[00:10:06.243]Kids move in and out, Grandchildren.
[00:10:09.604]Job changes. Divorce.
[00:10:15.586]Financial challenges or housing concerns.
[00:10:18.644]Let's try to think about those
[00:10:20.451]things and what would be your plan B.
[00:10:25.448]And then I say, have also Plan C.
[00:10:29.409]A, B and C. Just be thinking about
[00:10:32.462]these contingencies.
[00:10:36.876]Another fun idea.
[00:10:38.176]Go ahead beforehand and
[00:10:39.725]create your own business card.
[00:10:41.876]What would it look like for you?
[00:10:43.726]What would retirement be like?
[00:10:45.426]Am I a devoted volunteer?
[00:10:49.210]Am I a world traveler?
[00:10:51.509]Am I a community builder?
[00:10:54.376]Maybe a busy body or a Mr Chill.
[00:11:01.692]Exercise! We can't forget exercise.
[00:11:03.641]So important. Keep moving.
[00:11:05.642]I will I maintain my weight, my energy,
[00:11:09.297]my flexibility and my balance.
[00:11:12.897]Even that last one, balance, is so
[00:11:14.697]important as we age. It's going to help us
[00:11:17.248]with everything that we do.
[00:11:20.014]All of these things with exercise
[00:11:22.664]are going to prevent injury.
[00:11:24.529]There is nothing like an injury to mess up
[00:11:29.580]our plan and get us off track for
[00:11:31.681]everything that we want to accomplish
[00:11:33.930]in terms of having fun
[00:11:35.281]and enjoyment in retirement.
[00:11:38.263]So ideas walk two or four miles every day,
[00:11:42.197]walk in the park, go hiking, walk the dog
[00:11:45.097]exercise with the grandkids, lift weights,
[00:11:49.513]or use resistance training.
[00:11:52.181]just get that as part of
[00:11:53.588]your regular routine.
[00:11:57.750]And lastly, here I have a fairly lengthy
[00:12:02.551]list of book recommendations.
[00:12:05.588]You can also take a picture or
[00:12:07.789]I've asked Ranelle to post this
[00:12:11.289]in the chat so you'll have this to take
[00:12:14.606]with you. Some really nice ideas
[00:12:17.689]to take a look at, and of course,
[00:12:20.089]there's other resources out there to find.
[00:12:27.472]That is what I have for you today.
[00:12:29.489]Thanks everyone for listening.
[00:12:32.239]I'll go ahead and turn it back
[00:12:34.622]over to Professor Diane.
[00:12:37.612]Thank you again Kyla very much.
[00:12:39.328]It's very helpful as we think about
[00:12:41.039]retirement and how to stay up to that
[00:12:43.095]and learning what it's like
[00:12:44.382]to be retired person.
[00:12:45.979]I did post the EAP website in the
[00:12:47.903]chat box if that is something that you're
[00:12:49.946]looking forward to doing is seeking out
[00:12:51.913]some of their services that they provide.
[00:12:53.884]So, feel free to reach out directly to the
[00:12:55.926]EAP office if that is something
[00:12:57.855]you're interested in
[00:12:59.442]Absolutely! We can help with any of your
[00:13:01.376]transition. If you want to talk in more
[00:13:04.299]depth about anything I talked about,
[00:13:06.612]or what your ideas are, or if you need
[00:13:09.429]help thinking of ideas we can do that, too
[00:13:12.663]Great. EAP services do vary by campus
[00:13:15.578]that you're on, so you all want to reach
[00:13:18.279]out to your campus Benefits Office
[00:13:20.112]regarding EAP services, if that is
[00:13:22.745]something that you are interested in.
[00:13:24.763]if you're at the UNO or UNMC
[00:13:26.146]or UNK campus as well.

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Make It Your Best Identity

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