Role of Fathers During Mealtime

Dr. Brent McBride Author

09/10/2020 Added

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Dr. McBride explains the roles of fathers during mealtimes, how fathers can become more involved in mealtimes while facing a pandemic, and the cultural differences of fathers feeding practices.

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[00:00:00.812](Upbeat music)
[00:00:08.499]Hello, everyone.
[00:00:09.360]Welcome to "EAT Family Style".
[00:00:12.090]Create memorable mealtimes at home.
[00:00:14.930]My name is Dipti Dev.
[00:00:16.210]I'm an Associate Professor
[00:00:18.160]and Extension Specialist at University of Nebraska Lincoln.
[00:00:22.330]Today I have with me, Dr. Brent McBride.
[00:00:25.352]Dr. McBride is a Professor in Human Development
[00:00:28.057]and Family Studies
[00:00:29.765]department at the University of Illinois
[00:00:33.010]at Urbana, Champaign.
[00:00:34.720]He is studying the role of fathers during mealtimes and
[00:00:37.930]how fathers can influence their child's eating habits.
[00:00:41.470]So, in your opinion,
[00:00:43.240]Dr. McBride, why do you think it is important for fathers
[00:00:46.611]to engage with their children during mealtimes?
[00:00:50.240]I think it's important that men become engaged
[00:00:52.600]because if you think of family and feeding time
[00:00:55.970]and mealtimes and so on.
[00:00:56.960]Think of it from a family systems.
[00:00:59.880]Oftentimes, when we focus on trying to understand
[00:01:03.380]what goes on in terms of feeding practices
[00:01:06.077]and only focus on mothers, we forget,
[00:01:08.408]or we ignore a very powerful influence in that practice
[00:01:11.620]or that process, men are in families.
[00:01:14.660]Men are engaged in eating.
[00:01:16.700]Men are engaged in mealtimes,
[00:01:18.780]and they do have an impact on what goes on with the child
[00:01:22.558]in terms of feeding and so on.
[00:01:24.936]And to ignore that influence,
[00:01:27.102]I think we're missing a lot of ways
[00:01:29.076]to potentially intervene.
[00:01:31.534]Know that mothers and fathers approach parenting
[00:01:32.700]in very similar ways.
[00:01:35.280]We know that mothers can be on a continuum
[00:01:38.080]from very responsive and supportive
[00:01:40.666]of their feeding practices
[00:01:41.499]to controlling and prescriptive.
[00:01:43.240]We also know for observational data
[00:01:46.399]that looks at fathers,
[00:01:47.653]fathers have those similar tendencies.
[00:01:49.200]We see fathers are very controlling and restrictive
[00:01:52.609]in their feeding behaviors,
[00:01:54.386]but also very responsive at the same time.
[00:01:56.546]Also we need to focus on the family
[00:01:58.360]as a system and not just as an
[00:02:00.100]individual person doing that role.
[00:02:03.050]So clearly, you know fathers play
[00:02:06.316]an important role during mealtimes.
[00:02:09.390]So it's important to engage them.
[00:02:12.240]So, what are some ways
[00:02:14.150]fathers can positively
[00:02:17.260]influence their child's behavior during mealtimes?
[00:02:21.440]So we know that if mothers are using course of control,
[00:02:24.940]bribes and threats to get their children
[00:02:26.944]to eat specific types of foods,
[00:02:28.990]restricting access to certain types of food.
[00:02:31.410]We know that that leads
[00:02:32.720]to negative outcomes for their children in terms
[00:02:36.213]of their nutritional status, weight status,
[00:02:38.054]and overall health.
[00:02:39.294]The same thing would apply for fathers.
[00:02:40.960]We know that if fathers are more restrictive and controlling
[00:02:43.884]in they're feeding behaviors,
[00:02:45.110]it's going to lead to less positive outcomes for the kids.
[00:02:48.260]So what we should try to do
[00:02:50.582]is give men the tools, the understanding,
[00:02:52.300]what does it mean to be responsive?
[00:02:54.884]What does it mean to be taking your cues
[00:02:57.222]from your child, in terms of leading them
[00:02:58.500]in terms of the feeding process.
[00:03:00.770]So, Dr. McBride.
[00:03:01.670]Let's talk about this scenario.
[00:03:04.116]There is a five year old
[00:03:06.100]and he does not like broccoli,
[00:03:09.260]both mom and dad want him to try broccoli.
[00:03:12.673]Dad tells the child, you can have ice cream
[00:03:15.830]once you eat the broccoli.
[00:03:17.720]And mom says, "It's okay, don't pressure him.
[00:03:21.000]He can try it next time."
[00:03:23.320]So, you know, it's very common.
[00:03:25.350]There could be disagreements
[00:03:27.100]during mealtimes at the dinner table
[00:03:29.610]in terms of how you know
[00:03:31.280]better pressure or encourage.
[00:03:34.221]So what are your suggestions with this and these kind
[00:03:38.120]of scenarios when there is a disagreement
[00:03:40.860]between the parents.
[00:03:42.430]There are (indistinct), your question,
[00:03:44.037]I mean in your scenario,
[00:03:45.090]there are two really distinct issues that need
[00:03:48.260]to be thought about as you try to intervene
[00:03:50.701]something like.
[00:03:51.534]First of all, you have to acknowledge
[00:03:53.380]using the food as a reward to get children,
[00:03:57.136]to eat behavior,
[00:03:57.995]foods that they may not.
[00:03:58.828]Is really a course of controlling eating strategy.
[00:04:02.274]And we know that that's not going..
[00:04:04.740]Research has consistently suggested
[00:04:07.150]that using food-based bribes to get children
[00:04:10.250]to eat specific foods actually does a disservice
[00:04:12.780]they'll end up disliking that food more often
[00:04:16.320]than if you just let them go naturally
[00:04:18.170]in a responsive way.
[00:04:19.690]So getting men to understand that bribing kids
[00:04:22.580]to eat broccoli is not a good strategy.
[00:04:24.980]If your long term goal is for them
[00:04:26.630]to develop a preference for broccoli.
[00:04:28.750]Are they one is to eat broccoli.
[00:04:31.260]But the other piece of it,
[00:04:32.410]I think that's even more important is
[00:04:35.189]in your scenario,
[00:04:36.670]the mother and father had two very different approaches
[00:04:41.340]to food related parenting, and that's,
[00:04:44.040]what's going to possibly lead
[00:04:46.170]to more negative outcomes for the child.
[00:04:48.380]If the moms and dads are not in agreement
[00:04:50.770]about what should and shouldn't take place during mealtimes,
[00:04:53.870]we wanna make sure that they have communications
[00:04:56.660]between the two of them so
[00:04:57.820]that they have common goals or shared goals
[00:05:00.270]and visions for what mealtime should look like.
[00:05:03.040]And then they consistently implement strategies
[00:05:05.290]to reach those visions.
[00:05:07.598]And consistency, I think is really important when you think
[00:05:10.478]of a family systems perspective.
[00:05:11.860]So even if it's consistently negative,
[00:05:14.156]if you're both using the same strategy,
[00:05:16.370]that leads to less negative outcomes for a child
[00:05:19.050]than if you're doing a very responsive approach
[00:05:21.690]to encourage children to try new and novel foods.
[00:05:24.400]And your partner is trying a course of control
[00:05:27.000]and bribing the kids or punishing the child
[00:05:29.450]to try that same novel food.
[00:05:31.230]So making sure that they talk about what their goals are
[00:05:34.140]for the mealtime strategies and make sure they talk
[00:05:36.042]and are in agreement
[00:05:37.200]about what strategies should actually be used.
[00:05:39.740]And McBride, like now we all are facing
[00:05:41.989]a very unique situation with the pandemic
[00:05:45.230]where children at home and you know
[00:05:47.548]there is this shared responsibility in terms of trying
[00:05:50.880]to juggle work with parenting.
[00:05:55.725]So how, what advice or guidance
[00:05:58.270]would you provide parents you know
[00:06:00.850]who are in this situation and you know
[00:06:03.317]want to make the most of mealtimes and be responsive
[00:06:07.010]to their child during mealtimes.
[00:06:09.400]Well, this may sound somewhat odd,
[00:06:12.490]but I think the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic
[00:06:15.654]and stay-at-home orders
[00:06:17.720]and isolation within home environments and stuff
[00:06:20.280]has created a very unique opportunity for men
[00:06:23.340]to discover opportunities,
[00:06:25.820]to engage in responsive feeding practices
[00:06:28.580]with their children,
[00:06:29.413]because they're at home,
[00:06:30.630]much more often than they have been in the past.
[00:06:34.140]So they can do things that we know lead
[00:06:35.900]to positive outcomes.
[00:06:36.760]So they can become engaged in food prep
[00:06:39.988]with their children.
[00:06:40.821]They can become engaged in a extended conversations
[00:06:45.422]about food with the child
[00:06:46.649]and with the child's mother,
[00:06:47.908]our mother figure as well.
[00:06:50.399]So, taking advantage of this unforeseen opportunity
[00:06:53.080]is a really good,
[00:06:54.380]good thing for them to do.
[00:06:56.250]I guess being present at mealtimes
[00:06:59.360]when you're doing shelter at home,
[00:07:01.194]or stay-at-home following your Governor's Orders
[00:07:03.606]or whatever it might be.
[00:07:05.423]If you're at home,
[00:07:06.702]you're eating more meals with your child.
[00:07:07.846]So you have a greater opportunity to influence
[00:07:09.440]what goes on during that mealtime
[00:07:10.890]because of your mere presence in a meal.
[00:07:14.950]And we know that,
[00:07:16.210]children will meet adults and, you know
[00:07:18.610]fathers can use this opportunity to early role model
[00:07:22.270]and enjoy eating those early foods in front
[00:07:26.247]of their child.
[00:07:27.986]And you know, as their child watches them,
[00:07:28.819]try these foods,
[00:07:29.660]they'll be more likely to try them too
[00:07:32.665]rather than, you know using pressure.
[00:07:35.989]So, parents, as an alternative to pressure,
[00:07:38.538]try to role model
[00:07:40.117]because your kids will mimic you.
[00:07:43.837]Yes, you also know that healthy foods are
[00:07:46.587]sometimes much more difficult to prepare.
[00:07:48.887]They take more time and stuff
[00:07:50.436]rather than eating processed foods.
[00:07:51.750]But when you're in a stay-at-home situation,
[00:07:54.330]you have more opportunities to engage in that.
[00:07:57.237]And the next very important question for you
[00:07:59.440]Dr. McBride, like how do
[00:08:02.250]fathers feeding practices vary culturally,
[00:08:05.300]are there any cultural differences?
[00:08:07.837]Sure.
[00:08:08.940]Just like anything else with parenting.
[00:08:12.636]Men's food-related parenting is culture,
[00:08:14.670]one of the major determinants is culture.
[00:08:17.178]Culture defines parental roles,
[00:08:20.248]what you do and you don't do.
[00:08:22.500]And when it comes to the feeding process,
[00:08:24.810]in some cultures,
[00:08:25.830]men play a very different role
[00:08:28.305]in what the Western US culture
[00:08:30.290]is what you typically see in American families.
[00:08:34.428]So in some cultures,
[00:08:35.697]men make all the decisions about what's going
[00:08:37.817]to be eaten, when it's going to be eaten
[00:08:38.770]where it's going to be eaten
[00:08:39.820]and how it's going to be eaten.
[00:08:42.040]And that has to be taken into account
[00:08:44.580]as we think about how you intervene
[00:08:46.480]the change feeding practices within the home.
[00:08:48.850]If you do it in abstract or isolation,
[00:08:52.260]from, what are the cultural determinants
[00:08:53.940]of feeding practices,
[00:08:54.773]you're going to miss the boat,
[00:08:55.750]and will be less likely to be successful
[00:08:57.730]when you're in..
[00:08:59.090]Thank you so much Dr. McBride for your time.
[00:09:01.506]We all have learned a lot.
[00:09:03.320]This is really important to think of,
[00:09:06.465]fathers for our mealtimes and then the important role
[00:09:11.236]that they can play.
[00:09:13.860]Thank you.
[00:09:14.720]You're quite welcome.
[00:09:17.679](upbeat music)

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Role of Fathers During Mealtime

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