Gratitude Makes You Attractive (Part 2)

Nebraska Extension Author

05/20/2020 Added

11 Plays

Description

Gratitude Makes You Attractive – Part 2 of 2 Gratitude is the most attractive human characteristic you can possess. Watch to find out how to cultivate it! This video is part of the “Start the Conversation: Taking Care During Tough Times” video series created for Nebraska Extension’s Wellness in Tough Times project. The videos, led by Dr. Christine Chasek, include various strategies to improve your well-being and reduce stress during this challenging time. Watch more videos at https://go.unl.edu/ruralwellness.

Searchable Transcript

Search:

[00:00:03.640](gentle music)
[00:00:23.240]All right, well welcome back to part two,
[00:00:25.000]gratitude makes you attractive.
[00:00:27.690]So we left off with kinda talking about the brain
[00:00:30.700]and how the brain works, and how we can cultivate
[00:00:33.080]this attitude of gratitude.
[00:00:35.180]And so the gratitude piece really comes from
[00:00:40.072]filling ourselves with a sense of awe and wonderment.
[00:00:44.170]And so, what do we think about during all this time?
[00:00:47.510]Do we think about some of the good things
[00:00:49.560]and maybe look through life a little bit more
[00:00:52.530]with a child's eye, right?
[00:00:54.430]So how do the kids in your life look at things?
[00:00:57.580]Everything is kind of new and exciting,
[00:01:00.757]and a field of dandelions that's sprouted
[00:01:03.010]is not, you know, the worst thing that can ever happen.
[00:01:07.120]They pick up that dandelion with all of the seeds on it
[00:01:10.200]and they blow and they make a wish, right?
[00:01:12.930]And so they're wishing on things that they want.
[00:01:16.677]And I saw a picture recently too of a little guy,
[00:01:19.140]he couldn't play with his friends,
[00:01:21.230]he couldn't go to the library to do story time.
[00:01:24.260]And it was this whole story about this little guy
[00:01:26.490]and how things had changed.
[00:01:28.540]So instead what he did is he went out
[00:01:30.930]to the field and he read to his little baby calf
[00:01:34.815]because he wanted some companionship and something to do.
[00:01:38.430]So rather than stay stuck in the negative,
[00:01:40.600]he made a way to do something kinda fun and connecting.
[00:01:44.820]I just thought that was so cute.
[00:01:47.520]And so what are we focusing on?
[00:01:49.360]Are we focusing on, looking at the storm
[00:01:52.860]and all of the bad things that are going on.
[00:01:54.840]Or are we trying to see the rainbow
[00:01:56.990]at the end of the storm?
[00:01:58.565]There is always a silver lining,
[00:02:02.885]we are promised, right?
[00:02:06.157]That the world will never be destroyed again.
[00:02:09.730]That's the promise of the rainbow,
[00:02:11.150]at least from a Biblical viewpoint.
[00:02:13.890]And so there are things that we, you know,
[00:02:17.080]might go through some really difficult times,
[00:02:19.440]and that's the storm and that's the cloud.
[00:02:21.780]But if we stay focused on kind of the rainbow at the end,
[00:02:24.910]we'll find that we are in a much better place emotionally.
[00:02:27.930]So we need to look for those blessings, right?
[00:02:30.717]Our grandson recently, our first grandson,
[00:02:34.627]which talk about a blessing, was born.
[00:02:38.067]And he was born on St. Patrick's Day.
[00:02:41.363]Of course me being in my field and what I do,
[00:02:44.400]part of my specialty is doing substance abuse treatment.
[00:02:47.710]And I thought, oh great this is just gonna be
[00:02:49.970]a big opportunity to party,
[00:02:51.560]and oh my gosh when he's old enough to drink
[00:02:53.960]he's gonna over do it.
[00:02:55.030]I kinda went down this negative path.
[00:02:57.680]Then I realized, I said stop wait a minute,
[00:03:00.045]what a blessing that he was born St. Patrick's Day,
[00:03:03.590]the whole idea of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
[00:03:07.640]And I thought, oh that's so cool.
[00:03:10.580]He really is the pot of gold
[00:03:13.720]at the end of the rainbow for my daughter.
[00:03:16.180]She had had kind of a difficult pregnancy
[00:03:18.296]and so he really has become our nugget.
[00:03:21.800]That's what we call him, because he's a little nugget
[00:03:23.590]of gold in our pot at the rainbow.
[00:03:26.127]And so how you see things is just so important,
[00:03:28.820]whether you can laugh, or whether you can
[00:03:30.660]get yourself all worked up about things.
[00:03:33.860]And you know sometimes, we have double the blessing
[00:03:37.037]when we're looking at things.
[00:03:38.950]And so we want to share our gratitude with other people.
[00:03:42.970]That we are grateful and that we share that,
[00:03:48.187]and we share things we're grateful with, with other people.
[00:03:51.660]And part of the definition is that, you know,
[00:03:54.270]we are grateful for the things that we've been given.
[00:03:57.630]And it's recognition of those things.
[00:04:00.410]And so it's speaking about what you're grateful for,
[00:04:04.060]to other people, about other people, with other people.
[00:04:07.860]And so we can't just let that gratitude,
[00:04:11.330]we can't just hide it.
[00:04:12.890]We can't just kind of hide it under the bush
[00:04:15.030]and not let it shine through.
[00:04:16.765]Because that's really the power in being grateful,
[00:04:19.900]is that we speak it.
[00:04:21.320]And not only does it improve your mental health,
[00:04:23.480]but it improves the other person's mental health.
[00:04:26.440]So remember when I said in relationship
[00:04:28.660]that gratitude builds that attractiveness,
[00:04:31.490]it builds the trust, and it builds the good things.
[00:04:34.790]So my challenge to you is to really focus
[00:04:39.790]on the grateful things and not the weeds, right?
[00:04:42.320]Focus on the flowers in the weeds,
[00:04:44.590]and speak those to other people.
[00:04:47.090]And so this whole deal with COVID, right,
[00:04:50.110]there is so much of it we can't control.
[00:04:52.900]And we can focus on that.
[00:04:54.380]We can focus on the awfulness and watch the news,
[00:04:57.860]and hear all the tragedies on a daily basis.
[00:05:00.550]But that's not really doing our mental health
[00:05:02.840]and mental wellness any good,
[00:05:04.560]and it's not changing the situation, right?
[00:05:07.370]So if you think about it, all the things
[00:05:08.920]you worry about and that you stress about,
[00:05:11.520]that you're anxious about, a lot of them
[00:05:14.507]don't come to fruition.
[00:05:16.830]A lot of them don't happen.
[00:05:18.940]And I've had people say, well see,
[00:05:20.420]then it's all worth it.
[00:05:21.850]And I'm like, it wasn't your worrying
[00:05:23.330]that didn't make it not happen, right?
[00:05:25.410]It wasn't gonna happen in the first place.
[00:05:27.600]So you spent your energy and your time
[00:05:29.970]on kind of the negative.
[00:05:31.870]When really focusing on the positive
[00:05:34.525]is so much more helpful.
[00:05:37.230]And you know we do have a lot of things
[00:05:38.850]that have changed in our worlds during COVID.
[00:05:41.340]So we can't gather as frequently
[00:05:44.525]and as many people as we want.
[00:05:47.997]Things are being canceled.
[00:05:50.170]And the things in the summer that kids usually do
[00:05:53.750]are being canceled.
[00:05:54.730]Things that we want to do in the summer
[00:05:56.210]are being canceled.
[00:05:58.810]But you know I think about the fairs being canceled
[00:06:01.580]and how kids really look forward to that,
[00:06:03.970]and adults too, and it's kind of a showcase
[00:06:07.050]of the agricultural way of life, right?
[00:06:09.450]It's the fair, the summer fair.
[00:06:11.730]And if those things don't happen,
[00:06:14.330]that's awful, that's terrible, is kinda what we start
[00:06:16.645]immediately thinking about.
[00:06:19.410]But, we still can do things
[00:06:22.957]that are impactful, meaningful, and show off
[00:06:27.740]our agricultural way of life, just in a different way.
[00:06:30.900]And so I think about our 4-H kids,
[00:06:33.820]we have a couple kids, the ones that live next door
[00:06:36.830]that the parents farm.
[00:06:39.575]And they have lots of 4-H projects, right?
[00:06:43.910]And so the other day they were over
[00:06:46.160]and he was taking some pictures of the clouds
[00:06:48.260]and doing a video, because he could upload that
[00:06:51.880]as part of a 4-H project.
[00:06:53.690]It could be virtual, it's a virtual sharing of things.
[00:06:57.020]They have bunnies in the backyard.
[00:07:00.187]And it's kind of a process of learning, right?
[00:07:02.157]That's what this is all about,
[00:07:03.830]is the process of learning how to care for animals,
[00:07:06.780]or you know how to learn things, agricultural things.
[00:07:10.750]It's not so much the fair at the end.
[00:07:13.220]Although that's a culmination and a great showcase,
[00:07:16.140]the important things are also along the way.
[00:07:18.770]And so we want to focus on the now, and the present.
[00:07:22.456]That's where gratitude really starts,
[00:07:25.230]is focusing on what we are grateful for right now.
[00:07:27.950]And you know that's why we call the present, a gift,
[00:07:35.070]because the present is a gift, right?
[00:07:37.870]And the past is frozen in time.
[00:07:39.970]We can't do anything about it.
[00:07:41.230]We can get frustrated or upset,
[00:07:43.470]but we can't change the past.
[00:07:44.620]It's frozen in time.
[00:07:46.110]And the future is unknown, right?
[00:07:48.300]And we can be anxious about the future
[00:07:49.820]and what's gonna happen, and you know the COVID thing
[00:07:52.430]has really heightened that.
[00:07:53.520]What's gonna happen, and what's gonna happen next?
[00:07:56.280]But we can't do anything about that, right?
[00:07:58.960]And we can't control that.
[00:08:00.510]But what we can control is the present.
[00:08:03.160]And that is what is a gift, is the present,
[00:08:07.050]and being able to focus on that,
[00:08:09.190]and what can we do to make it better right now.
[00:08:12.170]And so we have to learn, when we're being grateful,
[00:08:15.507]what you can change and what you can't.
[00:08:18.360]And there's a serenity, kinda like, flowchart.
[00:08:21.090]So if we think about serenity as something that we want.
[00:08:24.340]Serenity, we want peace,
[00:08:26.675]we want life to go well basically, for us.
[00:08:31.350]We have to do some things to make that happen.
[00:08:33.970]And there's a serenity flowchart.
[00:08:36.867]So it doesn't just fall out of the sky on us.
[00:08:39.650]We have to learn how to kind of be serene.
[00:08:43.100]And so we have to learn what we can control
[00:08:45.990]and what we can't.
[00:08:47.140]So if you have a problem, right, there's a problem.
[00:08:50.010]You have different choices you can do.
[00:08:52.840]You have say, is this really a problem?
[00:08:58.060]It may be, if the answer is maybe,
[00:09:00.690]then you ask for wisdom.
[00:09:01.810]Like, help me understand, is this a problem,
[00:09:04.010]is this not a problem.
[00:09:05.550]So seek out wisdom.
[00:09:07.140]If you decide that yes it is a problem, right,
[00:09:11.470]then okay, can I change it.
[00:09:14.750]So what can I do about it?
[00:09:16.520]If the answer is no, I can't change it,
[00:09:19.608]then we have to accept it, right?
[00:09:23.088]Because there's nothing we can do about it.
[00:09:26.920]If the answer is yes, it's a problem,
[00:09:29.930]and I can change it, then we can get into action,
[00:09:34.579]look for courage, do the things we need to do,
[00:09:37.840]and we can change it.
[00:09:39.750]So the serenity kinda flowchart really is identifying,
[00:09:42.600]is there a problem, and second step, can I change it?
[00:09:46.860]And the answer to that question is really important
[00:09:49.270]in terms of how you deal with it.
[00:09:52.800]And so, you know during COVID we can't have,
[00:09:55.879]there's some things we can't change.
[00:09:58.430]And so you know weddings have been postponed,
[00:10:01.110]and funerals if you've lost a loved one.
[00:10:03.480]It's been really difficult.
[00:10:05.010]And all kind of normal life being disrupted a little bit.
[00:10:09.620]Our ability to, you know, our economy kind of is difficult.
[00:10:14.330]There's some things we just can't change.
[00:10:16.000]But we can make the most of what we have.
[00:10:18.960]And so there's, you know when you're in,
[00:10:21.850]I think an agricultural way of life,
[00:10:24.050]there's some things that are being slowed down
[00:10:27.428]and learning how to connect with each other in new ways
[00:10:30.720]is really interesting.
[00:10:32.060]And so maybe you can't have the big wedding,
[00:10:34.140]but you could have maybe a smaller wedding
[00:10:36.590]on your farm place and the cows can be
[00:10:38.756]a part of your guests, right?
[00:10:41.108]Or you can do things like, when visiting the nursing home
[00:10:46.030]and being able to see your loved ones,
[00:10:48.810]that's been off limits for a while,
[00:10:50.930]and you might want not be able to go in,
[00:10:52.967]but you can come to the window.

The screen size you are trying to search captions on is too small!

You can always jump over to MediaHub and check it out there.

Comments

0 Comments

Gratitude Makes You Attractive (Part 2)

Description

Searchable Transcript

Comments icon comment

Related Channels

Comments