Gratitude Makes You Attractive (Part 1)

Nebraska Extension Author

05/20/2020 Added

22 Plays

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Gratitude Makes You Attractive – Part 1 of 2 Gratitude is the most attractive human characteristic you can possess. Watch to find out how to cultivate it! This video is part of the “Start the Conversation: Taking Care During Tough Times” video series created for Nebraska Extension’s Wellness in Tough Times project. The videos, led by Dr. Christine Chasek, include various strategies to improve your well-being and reduce stress during this challenging time. Watch more videos at https://go.unl.edu/ruralwellness.

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[00:00:00.000](upbeat music)
[00:00:23.420]Alright welcome everybody.
[00:00:25.470]My name is Dr. Tina Chasek
[00:00:27.180]and I'm coming to you live from my kitchen.
[00:00:31.330]So I am very happy that I get to be with you
[00:00:37.370]and talk to you about gratitude today.
[00:00:39.520]And so this is, I work with UNL Wellness in Tough Times Team
[00:00:44.060]and I've really been looking forward
[00:00:45.670]to this particular topic
[00:00:47.720]as we start the conversation
[00:00:49.990]about how to deal with the stress
[00:00:52.785]and all the difficulties in agriculture
[00:00:54.980]especially around this COVID time.
[00:00:57.890]So gratitude makes you attractive,
[00:01:01.600]did you know that?
[00:01:03.310]So really gratitude,
[00:01:05.670]I think you know the type of person that I am talking about,
[00:01:07.930]these people that just seem to be bubbly
[00:01:11.980]and no matter what the circumstance
[00:01:14.900]they are extremely happy, and they exude that,
[00:01:18.110]and you see it in them no matter what.
[00:01:20.273]That makes you wanna be around them right?
[00:01:22.550]And so gratitude has been described as
[00:01:25.500]one of the most attractive characteristics in a human being.
[00:01:29.490]It's really important in leadership too
[00:01:32.300]because it's that magnetic force that drives you to people.
[00:01:36.260]And it's actually helpful in your relationships
[00:01:40.280]when you are grateful and you have gratitude,
[00:01:43.180]and so it makes you more appealing as a romantic partner.
[00:01:46.770]And it also strengthens our relationships
[00:01:49.360]because we learn how to trust other people
[00:01:52.150]and so in general, gratitude makes you more attractive
[00:01:56.260]which, if were honest with one another,
[00:01:59.670]we're always looking for ways
[00:02:02.000]to help us look more attractive, right?
[00:02:05.520]Especially if you're a female.
[00:02:07.610]We spend a lot of time on ourselves,
[00:02:10.570]trying to make ourselves more attractive, right?
[00:02:13.110]And so I recently,
[00:02:14.820]you know, have found some gray in my hair.
[00:02:17.600]I am a grandma,
[00:02:18.433]so I am starting to kind of notice like more wrinkles
[00:02:22.770]and more gray, and I'm thinking,
[00:02:24.537]"Oh I don't really like this so much", right?
[00:02:27.699]And so I went to my local hairdresser
[00:02:31.210]and said what can we do?
[00:02:32.740]And she's like, "Well you don't wanna color it
[00:02:35.067]"because it's very high-maintenance",
[00:02:37.060]and as a rural girl,
[00:02:38.641]I am not into high-maintenance.
[00:02:41.240]I want easy, I want something that I can
[00:02:43.473]just not spend a lot of time on my hair.
[00:02:45.910]And so she suggested highlights.
[00:02:48.220]And so we did some highlights,
[00:02:49.830]and I felt like one of my daughter's chickens
[00:02:51.980]because the way that I looked,
[00:02:54.650]and she has these really fancy chickens,
[00:02:56.780]that hair just sticks out everywhere,
[00:02:58.890]and that's kinda what I looked like
[00:03:00.440]when I was trained to get this highlight job done
[00:03:02.800]in my hair so that I could cover the gray
[00:03:06.500]and look a little bit better.
[00:03:08.270]And so you know, we do things like we buy clothes
[00:03:10.930]and we make sure that our,
[00:03:14.506]that we look good, that we're made up,
[00:03:17.410]we're kind of like, especially females,
[00:03:19.770]we're kind of like the male species of birds, right?
[00:03:22.980]We just wanna really look good.
[00:03:24.859]And even, you know, even guys tend to wanna look good too,
[00:03:30.010]right, if we're really honest with ourselves.
[00:03:31.670]So when I was a girl growing up in western Nebraska,
[00:03:35.948]my dream, because I could not stay there,
[00:03:38.800]the economy was so bad,
[00:03:40.160]and I had to find something to do
[00:03:42.250]to support myself that was off the farm.
[00:03:44.500]And so my dream at the time was to be a hairdresser, right?
[00:03:48.730]And I thought wow, I could go to college
[00:03:51.020]and I could become a hairdresser.
[00:03:52.810]And, you know, I really thought that was all the more
[00:03:55.020]that I could do in terms of, from,
[00:04:00.290]thinking about my goals and dreams,
[00:04:02.560]and one thing led to the other,
[00:04:04.260]and actually, I ended up going to school in psychology,
[00:04:07.447]which has really taught me
[00:04:08.830]that there's more to being attractive
[00:04:12.220]than just how you look, right?
[00:04:14.150]And so one of those things is gratitude.
[00:04:17.400]But what is gratitude?
[00:04:18.760]I mean when we are in this era of stress
[00:04:21.630]and worry and financial problems with the farm economy,
[00:04:25.010]and COVID now,
[00:04:28.766]how can you be grateful?
[00:04:30.880]What is there, right?
[00:04:32.446]And what is gratitude?
[00:04:34.720]So gratitude is defined a couple different ways,
[00:04:38.790]and this just comes from the, you know,
[00:04:40.440]the good old dictionary.
[00:04:42.040]And so the first thing gratitude is defined as
[00:04:45.490]is being thankful and to show appreciation.
[00:04:49.200]And so like I said, it is hard in this time,
[00:04:52.000]when it feels like we don't have a lot
[00:04:53.950]to be thankful for,
[00:04:55.930]to be able to do, to do that right?
[00:05:00.810]And the other thing that gratitude is
[00:05:02.810]is mindful of, and recognizing the benefits
[00:05:07.150]or the gifts that we have received.
[00:05:11.005]And in this podcast here,
[00:05:12.940]I wanna talk to you a little bit
[00:05:14.310]about ways that we can do,
[00:05:15.580]even when times seem really, really tough.
[00:05:17.960]And I read a book recently,
[00:05:19.400]it was called, actually, "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.
[00:05:22.690]And it was just a really great little devotional book,
[00:05:27.250]she actually lives on a farm,
[00:05:29.420]she is a rural person, I think up in Canada.
[00:05:34.150]And she talks about how you can be grateful
[00:05:38.010]and how you can live fully,
[00:05:42.780]and have a grateful heart right where you're at.
[00:05:44.970]So whatever your circumstances are
[00:05:47.540]that there are always things that we can be grateful for.
[00:05:50.800]And so we wanna get to that
[00:05:52.410]because we all know that a lot of times
[00:05:54.670]we're growing stress on the farm, right?
[00:05:56.670]That that seems to be our product,
[00:05:59.210]and there are lots of stress factors,
[00:06:00.810]and I don't want to minimize that or to think
[00:06:02.850]that this is all kum ba yah,
[00:06:05.188]and just, just you know, wonderful kinds of things
[00:06:06.770]because there are some real difficulties
[00:06:09.340]and pressures that we face that make life difficult.
[00:06:13.730]And so, you know, some of those things,
[00:06:16.757]obviously if you listen to any
[00:06:18.210]of the podcasts in this series,
[00:06:19.940]we have financial issues that weigh us down,
[00:06:23.650]health issues that concern us during COVID,
[00:06:26.820]we have, you know, kids driving us crazy
[00:06:29.340]if we're all cooped up together too long.
[00:06:32.635]ANd sometimes we do some unhealthy things
[00:06:34.730]to deal with some of our stress.
[00:06:36.660]But you know, the stress factors on a farm
[00:06:40.190]and on a rural agriculture
[00:06:42.330]I think are just taken up a notch
[00:06:45.200]compared to our urban counterparts.
[00:06:47.390]And some of those things are we do, you know,
[00:06:49.720]farm income does not meet means most of the time.
[00:06:52.670]And so financially, and meeting basic needs is a stressor.
[00:06:56.470]There's unpredictability in our world in agriculture,
[00:07:01.010]so you know, how the crops do,
[00:07:02.700]and what the weather's gonna do,
[00:07:03.580]and what the prices are gonna do,
[00:07:05.560]and what government policies are coming down the pikes,
[00:07:08.370]what other countries are doing.
[00:07:10.831]Who would've ever predicted that COVID
[00:07:13.650]would shut down our whole economy like it has?
[00:07:17.240]And so we also deal with,
[00:07:20.172]and those things like disease outbreaks,
[00:07:22.060]and livestock, and things that really threaten
[00:07:26.410]kind of our way of life in agriculture.
[00:07:30.350]And so there's also other things like isolation,
[00:07:33.980]farming can be a very lonely kind of profession
[00:07:37.800]because you're doing so much stuff on your own,
[00:07:40.650]sitting in the tractor, right,
[00:07:42.070]hour after hour, checking pivots,
[00:07:44.850]and you don't have people surrounding you all the time,
[00:07:47.660]and so it can be very isolating.
[00:07:50.220]There are issues of family,
[00:07:52.760]family farms, right?
[00:07:53.620]When you are in business with your family,
[00:07:56.320]family, personal, all of that can get tied together.
[00:08:01.130]And it's very difficult, right,
[00:08:02.840]to do business with your family.
[00:08:04.690]Feelings can get hurt, unspoken rules,
[00:08:09.140]you know, nobody knows who's supposed to be doing what.

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Gratitude Makes You Attractive (Part 1)

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