(tranquil music)
(tractor running)
-: My grandfather came to this place March 1st, 1929,
right here where I live.
Then he went on and moved to town
and then my folks moved here in '39.
I was born in '43 and this is
the only place I've ever lived.
(soft music)
Right now our crops are,
what we're getting for our livestock
and our grains is about the same as it was six years ago.
(soft music)
We never get a cost of living increase.
-: I think it's the little things that are involved
that most people don't think about.
The weather has been unusually all over the place.
Droughts, floods.
The markets aren't all that wonderful right now.
The prices aren't that good
and then you have tariffs on our goods.
-: So, the barn was here.
It went from this burnt post all the way to the west
and the southwest corner was that hedge post over there.
It was about a 8,200 square foot barn.
We had new baby goats and they were right over here
with their mom, right here.
There was a pen here and I had
a hot box for 'em with a heat lamp.
Either the heat lamp blew up
or it got kicked and it caught the barn
on fire and it burned it down.
I woke up and I had to use the bathroom.
I saw a glow off of this barn over here.
That's when I looked out the window
and saw the barn was on fire.
I ran out.
All my feeder pigs were over here.
There was three pens here and they were 50-pounders.
They were here and there was another group here.
Then we had some roosters in this north pen.
I came out and there was a sliding door.
I tried to open that to get 'em out.
By then the fire was coming through the windows.
There was a wall here.
The fire was coming through the windows.
I ran to the south side of the barn,
'cause there was another door
and it was coming out there already.
All I could hear was my pigs screaming, screaming.
I couldn't get to 'em.
(mournful music)
-: When farmers are stressed out,
they tend to not seek out the modern ways
of dealing with your issues.
They don't always talk to their wives or friends.
They kinda keep it all in and all in to themselves.
-: We're different.
We're proud.
I'm stubborn and I think most of them
that are still around, you're stubborn,
but that makes you tough.
You're just not gonna give in.
And if you let it get to you, you know it will.
-: A lot of farmers turn to a bottle.
This is very hard to live with on a day-to-day basis
and not knowing the person that's gonna come home.
Is he gonna be sober?
Is he gonna be fine?
Living all these years in and out
with the alcohol in the house
and having a son grow up living that way and seeing that
and feeling helpless to be able to do anything
about it or change it.
It's hard living that way.
(soft music)
(paper rattling) -: Pull, pull, pull, pull.
Hold that, throw that away.
-: One thing about farmers I really think
and I don't think this is just us.
I think it's a lot of people,
but it could be so much worse.
And everybody is so thankful,
we rely on our faith that everything is gonna get better
and next year the crops will be better
or next year we'll not have as many disasters
or animals that we lost or things like that.
-: It really helped me a lot to talk about it
with other guys up and down the river.
Even guys that didn't get affected by all this.
Corn farmers that have ground up
the hills that weren't flooded.
We just talked about it.
They'd ask me how things were going.
I didn't wanna sound like a complainer,
but it helped to talk, get it off your chest.
(soft music)
-: My husband's getting help.
He's doing well.
He's more open and he talks more.
He's more open with his feelings
in ways that I've never experienced him before.
It gives me hope for our future.
Nicole: Farmers in general are very positive people.
You have to have a positive outlook on life.
(soft music)